en-US Sun, 27 Apr 2025 12:58:37 -0700 60 144 41 /images/layout/goodreads_logo_144.jpg 40109367 In her #1 NYT bestsellers, Brené Brown taught us what it means to dare greatly, rise strong and brave the wilderness. Now, based on new research conducted with leaders, change makers and culture shifters, she’s showing us how to put those ideas into practice so we can step up and lead.

Leadership is not about titles, status and power over people. Leaders are people who hold themselves accountable for recognising the potential in people and ideas, and developing that potential. This is a book for everyone who is ready to choose courage over comfort, make a difference and lead.

When we dare to lead, we don't pretend to have the right answers; we stay curious and ask the right questions. We don't see power as finite and hoard it; we know that power becomes infinite when we share it and work to align authority and accountability. We don't avoid difficult conversations and situations; we lean into the vulnerability that’s necessary to do good work.

But daring leadership in a culture that's defined by scarcity, fear and uncertainty requires building courage skills, which are uniquely human. The irony is that we're choosing not to invest in developing the hearts and minds of leaders at the same time we're scrambling to figure out what we have to offer that machines can't do better and faster. What can we do better? Empathy, connection and courage to start.

Brené Brown spent the past two decades researching the emotions that give meaning to our lives. Over the past seven years, she found that leaders in organisations ranging from small entrepreneurial start-ups and family-owned businesses to non-profits, civic organisations and Fortune 50 companies, are asking the same questions:

How do you cultivate braver, more daring leaders? And, how do you embed the value of courage in your culture?

Dare to Lead answers these questions and gives us actionable strategies and real examples from her new research-based, courage-building programme.

Brené writes, ‘One of the most important findings of my career is that courage can be taught, developed and measured. Courage is a collection of four skill sets supported by twenty-eight behaviours. All it requires is a commitment to doing bold work, having tough conversations and showing up with our whole hearts. Easy? No. Choosing courage over comfort is not easy. Worth it? Always. We want to be brave with our lives and work. It's why we're here.’]]> 332 Brené Brown 147356252X Cara 0
Notes:
P. 166 “Understanding rumbling with vulnerability as the fundamental skill of daring leadership is absolutely essential.�� —just like soccer players practice ball handling, swimmers practice flip turns, etc., so they have the fundamentals nailed and can do the bigger/fancier things or perform well in a game.

P. 172-173
Rumble starters
1. “The story I made up…��
2. “I’m curious about…��
3. “Tell me more.��
4. “That’s not my experience (instead of ‘you’re wrong about her, him them, it, this…��).��
5. “I’m wondering…��
6. “Help me understand…��
7. “Walk me through…��
8. “We’re both dug in. Tell me about your passion around this.��
9. “Tell me why this doesn’t fit/work for you.��
10. “I’m working from these assumptions—what about you?��
11. “What problem are we trying to solve?�� (If you’re in a very long discussion that’s getting nowhere, you may not all be trying to solve the same problem.)

.p. 210-211
The values of the Berne Brown Education and Research Group, which I like so much:
��1. Be brave.
2. Serve the work.
3. Take good care.��

What does that mean?
1.
��- I set clear boundaries with others.
- I lean into difficult conversations, meetings, and decisions.
- I talk to people, not about them.��

2.
“I take responsibility for our community’s and customers�� experience.
- I am responsible for the energy i bring to situations, also I work to stay positive.
- I take ownership of adapting to the fast pace of this environment.��

3.
��- I treat my colleagues with respect and of passion by responding when appropriate in a timely and professional manner.
- I practice gratitude with my em and colleagues.
- I am mindful of other people’s time.��

I was expecting 3 (take good care) to be more about taking care of yourself, but that’s what’s missing in my business, not hers, apparently.

Also, “serve the work�� has a lot more people/co-worker relationship stuff than I expected. But I love the values as I imagined them, and I love seeing them turned into something clear and actionable.

P. 213 Re assumption of positive intent

“What’s the foundational skill of assuming the best in people? Setting and maintaining boundaries.�� (And then the other half is believing people are doing the best they can.)

I found this so interesting because I generally go around believing people are doing the best they can, but historically, I’ve been horrible at boundaries. The takeaway here is that you have to set the boundaries first and make them crystal clear. Otherwise, people have very little hope of not disappearing you, and when they do, it’s hard not to assume either a) they’re doing it on purpose just to be jerks, or b) they are doing the best they can but they’re just hopelessly stupid and are bound to suck, and maybe you should replace them, but then all those other people are probably stupid, too. Neither approach is a path to getting what you want.

P. 225
Instead of talking about trust, which is too broad and too much of a hot-button topic, talk about specific elements. She uses these:
- “Boundaries: You respect my boundaries, and when you’re not clear about what’s okay and not okay, you ask. You’re willing to say no.��
- “Reliability: You do what you say you’ll do. At work, this means staying aware of your competencies and limitations so you don’t veer promise and are able to deliver on commitments and balance competing priorities.��
- “Accountability: You own your mistakes, apologize, and make amends.��
- “Vault: You don’t share information or experiences that are not yours to share.�� (Not just not telling my secrets, but also not telling me other people’s.)
- “Integrity: You choose courage over comfort. You choose what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy. And you choose to practice your values rather than simply professing them.��
- “Nonjudgmental: I can ask for what I need, and you can ask for what you need. We can talk abut how we feel without judgment. We can ask each other for help without judgment.��
- “Generosity: You tend the most generous interpretation possible to the intentions, words, and actions of others.��

P. 228
Asking for help is one of the biggest ways you can build trust. Not asking for help makes people lose confidence about what you’ll do if you get stuck. P. 229 “Asking for help is a power move.�� !!!


P. 244-249 The Ham Fold-over Debacle

Brene had taken on superhuman amounts of work again and was on the verge of a meltdown. Steve came home, looked in the fridge, and said, “We don’t even have any damn lunchmeat in this house.�� Brene took it as a statement about her shiftiness as a wife and mother, but Steve does the grocery shopping and he was just hungry. But even though she jumped all over him, he was so compassionate with her and told her we’re in this together and I’ll help you find a way out.

Reading this made me realize how lonely it is to do everything on my own. Life is definitely easier without a shitty partner, but it seems like it would be a lot better with a good one like Steve.

The takeaway Brene meant us to have: “The story I’m making up is…�� (The story she was making up was that he was saying she was a bad wife and mother, but when she told him she was making up that story, he was instantly not defensive and understood, even though she’s just attacked him a sentence or two earlier .Good stuff.

]]> 4.17 2018
author: Brené Brown
name: Cara
average rating: 4.17
book published: 2018
rating: 0
read at:
date added: 2025/04/27
shelves: currently-reading, business, inspiration
review:
Get Be the Boss Everyone Wants To Work For by Bill Gentry

Notes:
P. 166 “Understanding rumbling with vulnerability as the fundamental skill of daring leadership is absolutely essential.�� —just like soccer players practice ball handling, swimmers practice flip turns, etc., so they have the fundamentals nailed and can do the bigger/fancier things or perform well in a game.

P. 172-173
Rumble starters
1. “The story I made up…��
2. “I’m curious about…��
3. “Tell me more.��
4. “That’s not my experience (instead of ‘you’re wrong about her, him them, it, this…��).��
5. “I’m wondering…��
6. “Help me understand…��
7. “Walk me through…��
8. “We’re both dug in. Tell me about your passion around this.��
9. “Tell me why this doesn’t fit/work for you.��
10. “I’m working from these assumptions—what about you?��
11. “What problem are we trying to solve?�� (If you’re in a very long discussion that’s getting nowhere, you may not all be trying to solve the same problem.)

.p. 210-211
The values of the Berne Brown Education and Research Group, which I like so much:
��1. Be brave.
2. Serve the work.
3. Take good care.��

What does that mean?
1.
��- I set clear boundaries with others.
- I lean into difficult conversations, meetings, and decisions.
- I talk to people, not about them.��

2.
“I take responsibility for our community’s and customers�� experience.
- I am responsible for the energy i bring to situations, also I work to stay positive.
- I take ownership of adapting to the fast pace of this environment.��

3.
��- I treat my colleagues with respect and of passion by responding when appropriate in a timely and professional manner.
- I practice gratitude with my em and colleagues.
- I am mindful of other people’s time.��

I was expecting 3 (take good care) to be more about taking care of yourself, but that’s what’s missing in my business, not hers, apparently.

Also, “serve the work�� has a lot more people/co-worker relationship stuff than I expected. But I love the values as I imagined them, and I love seeing them turned into something clear and actionable.

P. 213 Re assumption of positive intent

“What’s the foundational skill of assuming the best in people? Setting and maintaining boundaries.�� (And then the other half is believing people are doing the best they can.)

I found this so interesting because I generally go around believing people are doing the best they can, but historically, I’ve been horrible at boundaries. The takeaway here is that you have to set the boundaries first and make them crystal clear. Otherwise, people have very little hope of not disappearing you, and when they do, it’s hard not to assume either a) they’re doing it on purpose just to be jerks, or b) they are doing the best they can but they’re just hopelessly stupid and are bound to suck, and maybe you should replace them, but then all those other people are probably stupid, too. Neither approach is a path to getting what you want.

P. 225
Instead of talking about trust, which is too broad and too much of a hot-button topic, talk about specific elements. She uses these:
- “Boundaries: You respect my boundaries, and when you’re not clear about what’s okay and not okay, you ask. You’re willing to say no.��
- “Reliability: You do what you say you’ll do. At work, this means staying aware of your competencies and limitations so you don’t veer promise and are able to deliver on commitments and balance competing priorities.��
- “Accountability: You own your mistakes, apologize, and make amends.��
- “Vault: You don’t share information or experiences that are not yours to share.�� (Not just not telling my secrets, but also not telling me other people’s.)
- “Integrity: You choose courage over comfort. You choose what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy. And you choose to practice your values rather than simply professing them.��
- “Nonjudgmental: I can ask for what I need, and you can ask for what you need. We can talk abut how we feel without judgment. We can ask each other for help without judgment.��
- “Generosity: You tend the most generous interpretation possible to the intentions, words, and actions of others.��

P. 228
Asking for help is one of the biggest ways you can build trust. Not asking for help makes people lose confidence about what you’ll do if you get stuck. P. 229 “Asking for help is a power move.�� !!!


P. 244-249 The Ham Fold-over Debacle

Brene had taken on superhuman amounts of work again and was on the verge of a meltdown. Steve came home, looked in the fridge, and said, “We don’t even have any damn lunchmeat in this house.�� Brene took it as a statement about her shiftiness as a wife and mother, but Steve does the grocery shopping and he was just hungry. But even though she jumped all over him, he was so compassionate with her and told her we’re in this together and I’ll help you find a way out.

Reading this made me realize how lonely it is to do everything on my own. Life is definitely easier without a shitty partner, but it seems like it would be a lot better with a good one like Steve.

The takeaway Brene meant us to have: “The story I’m making up is…�� (The story she was making up was that he was saying she was a bad wife and mother, but when she told him she was making up that story, he was instantly not defensive and understood, even though she’s just attacked him a sentence or two earlier .Good stuff.


]]> 24466547 110 Jason Schappert 0692231102 Cara 4 flying, scribd 3.78 2014
author: Jason Schappert
name: Cara
average rating: 3.78
book published: 2014
rating: 4
read at: 2025/04/26
date added: 2025/04/26
shelves: flying, scribd
review:
A quick read—just a basic overview of the process of getting your private pilot license. Not enough detail to really be actionable, but still useful as an overview.
]]> 212421041 A sharply observed comedy of manners about straight marriage, gay marriage, and family ties stretched thin by politics,��How to Sleep at Night��is a witty and whip-smart debut reminiscent of��Fleishman Is in Trouble��and Emma Straub, by the New York Times��book reporter.

Meet Ethan and Gabe. A devoted couple since their early twenties, they have successful careers, an adorable daughter, and a house in the New Jersey suburbs. Sure, they may have slowly drifted to different ends of the political spectrum, but their marriage still has its spark. Then one night Ethan makes a shocking he wants to run for Congress as a Republican �� but only if he has progressive Gabe’s blessing. For weeks a slightly queasy Gabe struggles between supporting his husband’s dream and maintaining his own lefty ideals.��He can feel himself slowly pulled under the tide of Ethan’s political ambitions, even as he becomes widely known as a conservative spouse.����

In a nearby town, suburban mom Nicole wonders what happened to her younger self—living in New York City, freely dating men and women, and on a path to a career in the art world. Bored and frustrated, Nicole feels like an accessory in husband’s life and she yearns for something of her own.��She finds it one fateful morning when an old flame re-enters her life unexpectedly. That woman is Ethan’s sister Kate.

A political reporter at a major newspaper, Kate has reached the top of her profession, and her career is at the very center of her life.��But the adrenaline rush of chasing a story has lost its thrill.����When Nicole—the woman who broke her heart—slides into her DMs just as her brother starts his controversial congressional run, Kate’s life is thrown into a tailspin that threatens to derail the success she’s worked so hard to achieve.

A witty and knowing novel about romantic and sibling love, ambition, monogamy, and the ways in which our identities evolve over time,��How to Sleep at Night��marks the debut of an accomplished novelist with the verve of Jennifer Close, J. Courtney Sullivan, Nick Hornby, and Emma Straub.


]]> 304 Elizabeth Harris 0063353237 Cara 4 fun-or-frivolity 3.46 2025
author: Elizabeth Harris
name: Cara
average rating: 3.46
book published: 2025
rating: 4
read at: 2025/04/21
date added: 2025/04/21
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
Wow, this book was like watching an interlocking multi-person nightmare unfold. But then everyone imploded their lives instead of suffering along in low-grade misery forever, so three cheers for that, in its own way.
]]> 215514806
No matter who you’re talking to, The Next Conversation gives you immediately actionable strategies and phrases that will forever change how you communicate. Jefferson Fisher, trial lawyer and one of the leading voices on real-world communication, offers a tried-and-true framework that will show you how to transform your life and your relationships by improving your next conversation.

Fisher has gained millions of followers through short, simple, practical videos teaching people how to argue less and talk more. Whether it’s handling a heated conversation, dealing with a difficult personality, or standing your ground with confidence, his down-to-earth teachings have helped countless people navigate life’s toughest situations. Now for the first time, Fisher has distilled his three-part communication system (Say it with control, Say it with confidence, Say it to connect) that can easily be applied to any situation.

You will learn:

- Why you should never “win�� an argument
- How to assert yourself and communicate with intention
- How to set boundaries and frame conversations
- Why saying less is often more
- How to overcome conflict with connection

The Next Conversation will give you practical phrases that will lead to powerful results, from breaking down defensiveness in a hard talk with a family member to finding your own assertive voice at the boardroom conference table. Your every word matters, and by controlling how you communicate every day, you will create waves of positive impact that will resonate throughout your relationships to last a lifetime.

Everything you want to say, and how you want to say it, can be found in The Next Conversation.]]> 304 Jefferson Fisher 0593718720 Cara 4 life, scribd
The only thing I’m not totally convinced about is, at least with this lady, a pause never works. She won’t shut up for love or money, so any pause that was supposed to give her a chance to reflect on what she just said, she’ll just fill it up by saying more possibly-rude shit. But I haven’t tried the interruption trick yet. Maybe that will work. ]]> 4.56
author: Jefferson Fisher
name: Cara
average rating: 4.56
book published:
rating: 4
read at: 2025/04/20
date added: 2025/04/20
shelves: life, scribd
review:
This book is really good. Such helpful techniques about how to communicate better, while neither being stepped on nor stepping on anyone else and building stronger connections. I’ve been dealing with a difficult client, and if I had read one section a week earlier, I think we could have avoided a big fight.

The only thing I’m not totally convinced about is, at least with this lady, a pause never works. She won’t shut up for love or money, so any pause that was supposed to give her a chance to reflect on what she just said, she’ll just fill it up by saying more possibly-rude shit. But I haven’t tried the interruption trick yet. Maybe that will work.
]]> 23129659 If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.

In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents�� emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.

Discover the four types of difficult parents:



The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety

The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone

The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting

The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory
���ձ�> 201 Lindsay C. Gibson 1626251703 Cara 5 life
Also, one thing I love about this book is how compassionate and matter-of-fact it is. We’re not worried about whether someone is a narcissist or borderline personality disorder or this or that. They’re just people who haven’t reached emotional maturity, so the way they act is the best they can do. That doesn’t make it good, but it does make it understandable. And it makes it clear what to do about it: don’t expect them to be anything other than what they are. That’s all they can be.

To give a broad summary, the book talks about the concept, then describes life with an emotionally immature parent. It breaks down four types:
- emotional parents (ruled by their feelings)
- driven parents (too busy with goals to pay attention to you)
- passive (may not be problematic in and of themselves, but they fail to stand up for you)
- rejecting parents (nothing you ever do is good enough, want you to stop bothering them, etc.—constantly irritated, least empathic of the four types)

Children react to this situation by coming up with a role-self, which is a part they play in attempt to keep the peace and/or gain acceptance in the family, ex. The good girl, the troublemaker, the helpless one. They also have a healing fantasy, which is a delusion like “If only I could ___, everything would be all better and I could get the love I need.�� So then they try really hard to do that, but it’s a game you can never win.

On top of that, children cope by either internalizing or externalizing. (Well, really it’s more of a spectrum, but most people primarily pick one approach or the other.) Internalizers try to solve problems from the inside out, with learning, self-reflection, and trying to change themselves. They tend to be quiet, so they’re easily overlooked.

Externalizers see all problems and solutions as outside themselves. They expect someone else to save or fix them all the time. These are the kids who get all the attention, but the drawback is they keep ruining their own lives in attempt to get people to fix them (or because they’re too emotionally immature themselves to do better). They can never fix or heal themselves, because they only look to outside resources for that. And they can be so entitled and manipulative, nobody wants to be around them.

Internalizers have trouble asking for help, tend to downplay their feelings and concerns, believe “their deepest feelings are a nuisance to other people.�� Learn to ignore their own feelings, very independent, don’t even recognize abuse as abuse, put in most of the emotional work (empathy, foresight, self-control, repair) in relationships. Tend to attract needy people. Believe neglecting themselves is a virtue that will win them love. Play the rescuer role.

How to avoid getting hooked into your emotiaonlly immature parent’s stuff? Realize your parent is probably not mature enough to put you first or do those things that parents are “supposed to�� do. Stop expecting them to be better than they are. Face reality.

Also realize that if you’re honest and vulnerable, it scares the shit out of your emotionally immature parent, so they’ll act out to try to get the situation back into their comfort zone. Instead, realize you can’t have that kind of relationship with them and stop trying. You can relate to them (talk, interact on a surface level, listen to them go on and on about their stuff), but don’t expect to have a true relationship with them where you can be loved and accepted unconditionally for who you are or share deep connections or emotional intimacy. It’s not gonna happen, because they can’t handle it.

You’ve also probably learned to put yourself last and not want anything for yourself. And you probably hear your parent’s critical voice inside your head all the time, criticizing your choices or even berating you.

Having grown up with an emotionally immature parent, you may be drawn to egocentric, exploitive people because of the familiarity. Pick someone healthy instead if you want to be happy.]]> 4.36 2015
author: Lindsay C. Gibson
name: Cara
average rating: 4.36
book published: 2015
rating: 5
read at: 2025/03/27
date added: 2025/04/17
shelves: life
review:
This book explained so many things I always thought were just weird little quirk about me. Come to find out, they make perfect sense, and it’s not just me. I highly recommend both this book and Running on Empty. Reading each one was like, “Whoa! My whole childhood! How did the author know???��

Also, one thing I love about this book is how compassionate and matter-of-fact it is. We’re not worried about whether someone is a narcissist or borderline personality disorder or this or that. They’re just people who haven’t reached emotional maturity, so the way they act is the best they can do. That doesn’t make it good, but it does make it understandable. And it makes it clear what to do about it: don’t expect them to be anything other than what they are. That’s all they can be.

To give a broad summary, the book talks about the concept, then describes life with an emotionally immature parent. It breaks down four types:
- emotional parents (ruled by their feelings)
- driven parents (too busy with goals to pay attention to you)
- passive (may not be problematic in and of themselves, but they fail to stand up for you)
- rejecting parents (nothing you ever do is good enough, want you to stop bothering them, etc.—constantly irritated, least empathic of the four types)

Children react to this situation by coming up with a role-self, which is a part they play in attempt to keep the peace and/or gain acceptance in the family, ex. The good girl, the troublemaker, the helpless one. They also have a healing fantasy, which is a delusion like “If only I could ___, everything would be all better and I could get the love I need.�� So then they try really hard to do that, but it’s a game you can never win.

On top of that, children cope by either internalizing or externalizing. (Well, really it’s more of a spectrum, but most people primarily pick one approach or the other.) Internalizers try to solve problems from the inside out, with learning, self-reflection, and trying to change themselves. They tend to be quiet, so they’re easily overlooked.

Externalizers see all problems and solutions as outside themselves. They expect someone else to save or fix them all the time. These are the kids who get all the attention, but the drawback is they keep ruining their own lives in attempt to get people to fix them (or because they’re too emotionally immature themselves to do better). They can never fix or heal themselves, because they only look to outside resources for that. And they can be so entitled and manipulative, nobody wants to be around them.

Internalizers have trouble asking for help, tend to downplay their feelings and concerns, believe “their deepest feelings are a nuisance to other people.�� Learn to ignore their own feelings, very independent, don’t even recognize abuse as abuse, put in most of the emotional work (empathy, foresight, self-control, repair) in relationships. Tend to attract needy people. Believe neglecting themselves is a virtue that will win them love. Play the rescuer role.

How to avoid getting hooked into your emotiaonlly immature parent’s stuff? Realize your parent is probably not mature enough to put you first or do those things that parents are “supposed to�� do. Stop expecting them to be better than they are. Face reality.

Also realize that if you’re honest and vulnerable, it scares the shit out of your emotionally immature parent, so they’ll act out to try to get the situation back into their comfort zone. Instead, realize you can’t have that kind of relationship with them and stop trying. You can relate to them (talk, interact on a surface level, listen to them go on and on about their stuff), but don’t expect to have a true relationship with them where you can be loved and accepted unconditionally for who you are or share deep connections or emotional intimacy. It’s not gonna happen, because they can’t handle it.

You’ve also probably learned to put yourself last and not want anything for yourself. And you probably hear your parent’s critical voice inside your head all the time, criticizing your choices or even berating you.

Having grown up with an emotionally immature parent, you may be drawn to egocentric, exploitive people because of the familiarity. Pick someone healthy instead if you want to be happy.
]]> 198902277 Alternate cover edition of ISBN 9781250899576.

A propulsive and uncommonly wise novel about one unexpected wedding guest and the surprising people who help her start anew.

It’s a beautiful day in Newport, Rhode Island, when Phoebe Stone arrives at the grand Cornwall Inn wearing a green dress and gold heels, not a bag in sight, alone. She's immediately mistaken by everyone in the lobby for one of the wedding people, but she’s actually the only guest at the Cornwall who isn’t here for the big event. Phoebe is here because she’s dreamed of coming for years—she hoped to shuck oysters and take sunset sails with her husband, only now she’s here without him, at rock bottom, and determined to have one last decadent splurge on herself. Meanwhile, the bride has accounted for every detail and every possible disaster the weekend might yield except for, well, Phoebe and Phoebe's plan—which makes it that much more surprising when the two women can’t stop confiding in each other.

In turns absurdly funny and devastatingly tender, Alison Espach’s The Wedding People is ultimately an incredibly nuanced and resonant look at the winding paths we can take to places we never imagined—and the chance encounters it sometimes takes to reroute us.]]> 384 Alison Espach Cara 4 fun-or-frivolity
Well, at first, I didn’t. Phoebe was so depressed and empty, it seemed like a really boring, depressing book. But as the book went on, I loved how Lila was herself around Phoebe, and then so was everybody else, including Phoebe.

It’s unusual for the character who has all the answers to still grow as a person, but Phoebe did, and not just a little bit. She blossomed. I really enjoyed experiencing that. ]]> 4.11 2024
author: Alison Espach
name: Cara
average rating: 4.11
book published: 2024
rating: 4
read at: 2025/04/14
date added: 2025/04/14
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
I don’t know who recommended this to me or how long I was on the waitlist for it at the library, but I really enjoyed this book.

Well, at first, I didn’t. Phoebe was so depressed and empty, it seemed like a really boring, depressing book. But as the book went on, I loved how Lila was herself around Phoebe, and then so was everybody else, including Phoebe.

It’s unusual for the character who has all the answers to still grow as a person, but Phoebe did, and not just a little bit. She blossomed. I really enjoyed experiencing that.
]]> 211003699 The incredible untold story of four women who helped win WWII by generating a wave of black propaganda.

Betty MacDonald was a 28-year-old reporter from Hawaii. Zuzka Lauwers grew up in a tiny Czechoslovakian village and knew five languages by the time she was 21. Jane Smith-Hutton was the wife of a naval attaché living in Tokyo. Marlene Dietrich, the German-American actress and singer, was of course one of the biggest stars of the 20th century. These four women, each fascinating in her own right, together contributed to one of the most covert and successful military campaigns in WWII.

As members of the OSS, their task was to create a secret brand of propaganda produced with the sole aim to break the morale of Axis soldiers. Working in the European theater, across enemy lines in occupied China, and in Washington, D.C., Betty, Zuzka, Jane, and Marlene forged letters and “official�� military orders, wrote and produced entire newspapers, scripted radio broadcasts and songs, and even developed rumors for undercover spies and double agents to spread to the enemy. And outside of a small group of spies, no one knew they existed. Until now.

In Propaganda Girls, bestselling author Lisa Rogak brings to vivid life the incredible true story of four unsung heroes, whose spellbinding achievements would change the course of history.]]> 240 Lisa Rogak 1250275598 Cara 0 to-read 3.95 2025
author: Lisa Rogak
name: Cara
average rating: 3.95
book published: 2025
rating: 0
read at:
date added: 2025/03/31
shelves: to-read
review:

]]> 15820818
In Boundaries for Leaders, Dr. Henry Cloud gives leaders the tools and techniques they need to achieve the performance they desire—in their organizations and in themselves. Drawing on the latest findings from neuroscience, Dr. Cloud shows why it's critical for leaders to set the conditions that make people's brains perform at their highest levels. How do great leaders do this? One way is through the creation of "boundaries"—structures that determine what will exist and what will not.

Here you will learn seven leadership boundaries that set the stage, tone, and culture for a results-driven organization, including how to:

�� help people focus their attention on the things that matter most;
�� build the emotional climate that drives brain functioning;
�� facilitate connections that boost energy and momentum;
�� create organizational thought patterns that limit negativity and helplessness;
�� identify paths for people to take control of the activities that drive results;
�� create high-performance teams organized around the behaviors that drive results; and
�� lead yourself in a manner that protects the vision.

The strong call to action in this book is that leaders are ridiculously in charge of all these elements, and they must own what they either create or allow to exist.

Filled with inspiring and practical examples from Dr. Cloud's coaching practice, Boundaries for Leaders is essential reading for everyone who aspires to lead companies, teams, and cultures defined by high performance and healthy relationships.]]> 0 Henry Cloud 0062249797 Cara 0 currently-reading, business
Leader’s job is to instill executive function into the team:
1. Attend - focusing on what’s important (what to do)
2. Inhibit - avoiding distractions (what not to do)
3. Remember - stay aware of the relevant information on what you’re doing

Notes:
P. 37
“The president, who had been very frustrated for about a year, began the meeting by saying, “Today we are going to be here for an hour and when we leave this meeting, we want to have answered this question�� (and then she gave the question). That is it, no other topics.�� Then, when the group began to get distracted with extraneous issues and discussions that were not going to get them an answer to the question, she brought it back. “Off topic for today. Back to getting an answer.��

P. 114
On learned helplessness: you can reprogram yourself out of learned helplessness by focusing on what you can control. Get a different perspective. Ex. Brokers felt helpless because everyone’s portfolios were in the toilet, and there was nothing they could do about it, and their clients hated them. But when they realized that everyone else’s clients hated them, too, they could reframe it as an opportunity. Off stuff on what to do in a down market, pitch to everyone else’s unhappy clients, profit.

P. 126
To get your team out of learned helplessness, focus on what they CAN control. Ex. Tampa Bay Buccaneers couldn’t control shitty stadium, cold weather for away games, or the Doug Williams Curse. But they could control reducing turnovers and penalties, and having special teams do better. They did, and went on to the Super Bowl.

** “What factors do we control that will contribute to success?�� **]]> 4.08 2013
author: Henry Cloud
name: Cara
average rating: 4.08
book published: 2013
rating: 0
read at:
date added: 2025/03/29
shelves: currently-reading, business
review:
What you get in your organization consists of two things: what you create and what you allow. You’re the leader. You’re supposed to be in charge. You determine what kind of team, atmosphere, and results your organization will get. You’re not just in charge, you’re ridiculously in charge.

Leader’s job is to instill executive function into the team:
1. Attend - focusing on what’s important (what to do)
2. Inhibit - avoiding distractions (what not to do)
3. Remember - stay aware of the relevant information on what you’re doing

Notes:
P. 37
“The president, who had been very frustrated for about a year, began the meeting by saying, “Today we are going to be here for an hour and when we leave this meeting, we want to have answered this question�� (and then she gave the question). That is it, no other topics.�� Then, when the group began to get distracted with extraneous issues and discussions that were not going to get them an answer to the question, she brought it back. “Off topic for today. Back to getting an answer.��

P. 114
On learned helplessness: you can reprogram yourself out of learned helplessness by focusing on what you can control. Get a different perspective. Ex. Brokers felt helpless because everyone’s portfolios were in the toilet, and there was nothing they could do about it, and their clients hated them. But when they realized that everyone else’s clients hated them, too, they could reframe it as an opportunity. Off stuff on what to do in a down market, pitch to everyone else’s unhappy clients, profit.

P. 126
To get your team out of learned helplessness, focus on what they CAN control. Ex. Tampa Bay Buccaneers couldn’t control shitty stadium, cold weather for away games, or the Doug Williams Curse. But they could control reducing turnovers and penalties, and having special teams do better. They did, and went on to the Super Bowl.

** “What factors do we control that will contribute to success?�� **
]]> 126518633 240 Bob Gardner 1644252937 Cara 0 4.50
author: Bob Gardner
name: Cara
average rating: 4.50
book published:
rating: 0
read at:
date added: 2025/03/22
shelves: to-read, flying, returning-unfinished
review:
Interesting book but had to go back to the library. It was in Hoopla.
]]> 209220944
But Sarah has begun to wonder... Who is she without her other half?

When she decides to take on a project of her own, a fundraising gala in memoriam of her late mother, Sarah wants nothing more than to prove to herself—and to everyone else—that she doesn’t need Caleb’s help to succeed. She’s still her mother’s daughter, after all. Independent and capable.

That is until the event fails and Caleb uninvitedly steps in to save the day.

The rift that follows unearths a decade of grievances between them and doubts begin to grow. Are they truly the same people they were when they got married at nineteen? Are they supposed to be?

In a desperate attempt to fix what they fear is near breaking, Sarah and Caleb make the spontaneous decision to join a grueling hiking trip intended to guide couples through rough patches.

What follows is a life-affirming comedy of errors as two nature-averse people fight their way out of the woods in order to find their way back to their roots.]]> 336 Hannah Bonam-Young 0593871863 Cara 5 fun-or-frivolity
At first, I felt like Sarah was an ungrateful whiny victim. But I loved how she and Caleb both grew and got more honest as the story went on. By the time she told off Caleb’s dad, I was a huge fan.

These two had such a sweet love. Even in the beginning when things were bad, they both still loved each other and liked each other and found each other so hot. And this is after 17 years of marriage!

Even in fantasy, I don’t think it ever occurred to me that it could be this good.

And when they start telling each other all of the truth? Fiy-ah!

I will definitely be reading everything I can get my hands on by this author. ]]> 3.98 2025
author: Hannah Bonam-Young
name: Cara
average rating: 3.98
book published: 2025
rating: 5
read at: 2025/03/16
date added: 2025/03/16
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
Love love loved this book!

At first, I felt like Sarah was an ungrateful whiny victim. But I loved how she and Caleb both grew and got more honest as the story went on. By the time she told off Caleb’s dad, I was a huge fan.

These two had such a sweet love. Even in the beginning when things were bad, they both still loved each other and liked each other and found each other so hot. And this is after 17 years of marriage!

Even in fantasy, I don’t think it ever occurred to me that it could be this good.

And when they start telling each other all of the truth? Fiy-ah!

I will definitely be reading everything I can get my hands on by this author.
]]> 27037560 Consulting in Complex and Changing Times

Organizations face challenges today that are too messy and complicated for consultants to simply play doctor: run a few tests, offer a neat diagnosis of the "problem," and recommend a solution. Edgar Schein argues that consultants have to jettison the old idea of professional distance and work with their clients in a more personal way, emphasizing authentic openness, curiosity, and humility. Schein draws deeply on his own decades of experience, offering over two dozen case studies that illuminate each stage of this humble consulting process. Just as he did with Process Consultation nearly fifty years ago, Schein has once again revolutionized the field, enabling consultants to be more genuinely helpful and vastly more effective.]]> 240 Edgar H. Schein 1626567204 Cara 4 business
So, what to do instead? Act like a life coach. Come in with curiosity and compassion, and ask a lot of questions. Guide the client to finding their own solution. Sometimes ask leading questions that point to what you think might be the answer, but check your ego at the door, follow your intuition, and remember that you’re here to help.

In most cases, that can really only happen if you build some rapport with the client first. The author calls this a level 2 relationship, where level -1 is hostility or treating people as less than human, level 1 ranges from polite strangers to the kind of professional but superficial relationship you might have with a doctor or someone providing a service. Level 2 is closer than that, where you start to get to know each other personally, human to human, but not intimately. That’s level 3, which is where you’ll find close friends and lovers.

And why is a level 2 relationship so important? Because often the problem the client presents with is not the real problem, but in order to find the real problem and help the client come up with a solution, first there has to be enough trust that the client will talk things through with you and tell you the truth.

It’s very easy to get seduced by the content the client presents or the intervention they request, but that’s usually not a path that leads to the true solution. Instead, follow your intuition and ask lots of questions. Especially ask for examples. And charge for that first meeting, because often in talking things through with you, the client will get enough clarity to figure out the solution, so they won’t need to hire you further.

Beyond that, it’s all basically examples and twists on how to apply this.

This book was super interesting to me, because I was working with a new client who seemed to have hired me to be a consultant. I assumed that meant I looked at what they were doing and told them what to do instead to get better results. But I found that, when I told them what to do, they resisted doing it in every way possible. But they didn’t really know enough about what they were doing (as far as I could tell, anyway) to be able to tell themselves what to do.

Telling them what to do wasn’t working, but not telling them what to do also didn’t seem like it would work. So��?

I felt like this book gave me permission to act more as a coach than a consultant, so even though I still felt like I had to tell them what to do, I also started asking questions, following my intuition, deepening the relationship, and looking for ways I could be truly helpful.

Although it felt like an eternity, the bad part of this project was really only about two weeks. After a nightmare of a meeting, I started thinking about what was really bothering everyone and looking for solutions for that. The author would argue I was still thinking too much for them rather than with them, but it was good enough. I realized that, while the whole team was super stressed, my direct client was reaching critical levels of stress, and that was really the #1 thing to address, not any of the specifics of their project.

We were working on launching a new product, and launches are scary, especially the first time. Plus there were several personal-life crisis-level events for team members.

What I ended up doing that made the difference was sending her an email the day after the nightmare meeting, acknowledging and validating a lot of feelings that she had expressed, and asking how she was doing.

That turned everything around! She had been downright hostile to me at the meeting, but I guess she just really needed to feel heard and cared about. Once she did, she was happy to look for solutions, and everything became harmonious and happy.

I still think there are occasions when handing someone a solution makes sense, but I’m a believer that the human connection has to come first.

My main takeaways are:
- even if I’m hired in a consultant role, acting as a coach is still super powerful and maybe more important
- I think if I’m going to give a prescription or tell people what to do, I’m going to try asking first if they want me to. If they say no, then of course, there’s no point in doing it. But if they say yes, maybe they’ll have more buy-in.
- The ideal would be facilitating, or at worst co-creating, a strategy from/with the client. I’m still not sure how to do that with this client. But the author did say that the prescriptive approach can make sense for simple problems, and this really is a pretty simple problem.



Notes:
(In chapter 4)
Mass Audubon - wanted to organize a big fund-raising event, but wasn’t sure the extent to which board members and other volunteers were willing to put in the time and effort to make it happen. The author started the first meeting by going around the room and having everyone say from the heart why they belonged to Mass Audubon and what it meant to them—no discussion or interruptions until everyone had said their piece.

This was incredibly effective because it immediately became clear that everyone there was really into Mass Audubon (which answered the question) AND it was incredibly inspiring and helped everyone feel connected. They had all been in level 1 relationships before, but this moved them to level 2.

All this Big Why talk got everyone so inspired and in such high-vibe energy, they ended up repeating the process with all the groups/teams/levels they got involved with organizing the event.

(In chapter 6)
“The consultant can help the client (1) reformulate the problem, (2) rethink what hte client’s own role should be, and (3) rethink what the consultant should do. It is in these process areas that help can occur exceptionally rapidly, even in the very first conversation, because the reformulation may make the client realize that she now knows what to do.��

I had this book through Hoopla, but apparently the library won’t be offering it anymore after tonight. I’m glad I read it when I did.]]> 3.84 2016
author: Edgar H. Schein
name: Cara
average rating: 3.84
book published: 2016
rating: 4
read at: 2025/03/10
date added: 2025/03/10
shelves: business
review:
The premise of this book is the idea that the consultant coming in like a doctor and providing a diagnosis and a solution is a model that just doesn’t work in complex situations, and giving people answers and telling them what to do will be less and less useful as the world, companies, and problems become more complex.

So, what to do instead? Act like a life coach. Come in with curiosity and compassion, and ask a lot of questions. Guide the client to finding their own solution. Sometimes ask leading questions that point to what you think might be the answer, but check your ego at the door, follow your intuition, and remember that you’re here to help.

In most cases, that can really only happen if you build some rapport with the client first. The author calls this a level 2 relationship, where level -1 is hostility or treating people as less than human, level 1 ranges from polite strangers to the kind of professional but superficial relationship you might have with a doctor or someone providing a service. Level 2 is closer than that, where you start to get to know each other personally, human to human, but not intimately. That’s level 3, which is where you’ll find close friends and lovers.

And why is a level 2 relationship so important? Because often the problem the client presents with is not the real problem, but in order to find the real problem and help the client come up with a solution, first there has to be enough trust that the client will talk things through with you and tell you the truth.

It’s very easy to get seduced by the content the client presents or the intervention they request, but that’s usually not a path that leads to the true solution. Instead, follow your intuition and ask lots of questions. Especially ask for examples. And charge for that first meeting, because often in talking things through with you, the client will get enough clarity to figure out the solution, so they won’t need to hire you further.

Beyond that, it’s all basically examples and twists on how to apply this.

This book was super interesting to me, because I was working with a new client who seemed to have hired me to be a consultant. I assumed that meant I looked at what they were doing and told them what to do instead to get better results. But I found that, when I told them what to do, they resisted doing it in every way possible. But they didn’t really know enough about what they were doing (as far as I could tell, anyway) to be able to tell themselves what to do.

Telling them what to do wasn’t working, but not telling them what to do also didn’t seem like it would work. So��?

I felt like this book gave me permission to act more as a coach than a consultant, so even though I still felt like I had to tell them what to do, I also started asking questions, following my intuition, deepening the relationship, and looking for ways I could be truly helpful.

Although it felt like an eternity, the bad part of this project was really only about two weeks. After a nightmare of a meeting, I started thinking about what was really bothering everyone and looking for solutions for that. The author would argue I was still thinking too much for them rather than with them, but it was good enough. I realized that, while the whole team was super stressed, my direct client was reaching critical levels of stress, and that was really the #1 thing to address, not any of the specifics of their project.

We were working on launching a new product, and launches are scary, especially the first time. Plus there were several personal-life crisis-level events for team members.

What I ended up doing that made the difference was sending her an email the day after the nightmare meeting, acknowledging and validating a lot of feelings that she had expressed, and asking how she was doing.

That turned everything around! She had been downright hostile to me at the meeting, but I guess she just really needed to feel heard and cared about. Once she did, she was happy to look for solutions, and everything became harmonious and happy.

I still think there are occasions when handing someone a solution makes sense, but I’m a believer that the human connection has to come first.

My main takeaways are:
- even if I’m hired in a consultant role, acting as a coach is still super powerful and maybe more important
- I think if I’m going to give a prescription or tell people what to do, I’m going to try asking first if they want me to. If they say no, then of course, there’s no point in doing it. But if they say yes, maybe they’ll have more buy-in.
- The ideal would be facilitating, or at worst co-creating, a strategy from/with the client. I’m still not sure how to do that with this client. But the author did say that the prescriptive approach can make sense for simple problems, and this really is a pretty simple problem.



Notes:
(In chapter 4)
Mass Audubon - wanted to organize a big fund-raising event, but wasn’t sure the extent to which board members and other volunteers were willing to put in the time and effort to make it happen. The author started the first meeting by going around the room and having everyone say from the heart why they belonged to Mass Audubon and what it meant to them—no discussion or interruptions until everyone had said their piece.

This was incredibly effective because it immediately became clear that everyone there was really into Mass Audubon (which answered the question) AND it was incredibly inspiring and helped everyone feel connected. They had all been in level 1 relationships before, but this moved them to level 2.

All this Big Why talk got everyone so inspired and in such high-vibe energy, they ended up repeating the process with all the groups/teams/levels they got involved with organizing the event.

(In chapter 6)
“The consultant can help the client (1) reformulate the problem, (2) rethink what hte client’s own role should be, and (3) rethink what the consultant should do. It is in these process areas that help can occur exceptionally rapidly, even in the very first conversation, because the reformulation may make the client realize that she now knows what to do.��

I had this book through Hoopla, but apparently the library won’t be offering it anymore after tonight. I’m glad I read it when I did.
]]> 223199392 Two good neighbors make the best of a bad Valentine’s Day in a funny and improbably romantic short story by the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Just for the Summer.

It’s Valentine’s Day weekend, and Charlotte and Seth are not looking for romance. Armed with emotional-support bear spray, Charlotte is in self-imposed isolation and on guard from men. Having a stalker can do that to a person’s nerves. Just across the hall and giving off woodsy vibes is Seth, a recently divorced arborist. As in today recently. Heights, he’s fine with. Trust? Not so much. But when disaster traps them one flight up and no way down, an outrageously precarious predicament forces a tree-loving guy and a rattled girl next door to embrace their captivity. Soon their defenses are breaking away. Considering how close they both are to the edge, Charlotte and Seth could be in danger of falling—in love.]]> 82 Abby Jimenez 1662529082 Cara 5 So sweet. Loved it! My only regret is that it’s over already. ]]> 4.11 2025
author: Abby Jimenez
name: Cara
average rating: 4.11
book published: 2025
rating: 5
read at: 2025/03/06
date added: 2025/03/06
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
So sweet. Loved it! My only regret is that it’s over already.
]]> 63276316
Rhett Rauthruss is single for the first time in six years. He’s fresh off a long-term, long-distance relationship and ready to make the most of what’s left of college.
Party with his boys, get to the Frozen Four with his team, and maybe play the field for a change.

Sienna Hale knows a thing or two about heartbreak. She’s a college athlete about to skate for the last time, and nothing is going to throw her off course. Not her worries about finding a job after college, not the whispers of last year’s accident on the ice, and not the cute hockey player who keeps asking her out.

They think they want different things, but when it heats up between them, there's no denying they have something in common--even if it's just for a night.]]> 321 Rebecca Jenshak Cara 3 3.56 2021
author: Rebecca Jenshak
name: Cara
average rating: 3.56
book published: 2021
rating: 3
read at: 2025/03/04
date added: 2025/03/05
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
After the opening scene (Rhett falling asleep during a bj), I was hooked. The insta-lust was a little much, but whatever. And I appreciate that the two most obvious things are not what ended up happening, and when there was a conflict, the main characters handled it (mostly) maturely. There were a lot of complex feelings, and the author did a good job of portraying that. I probably wouldn’t read this one again—she’s definitely gotten a lot better since this series—but I still enjoyed it.
]]> 51604088 Unavailable in book form! Multimillion-copy best-selling audio superstar Tony Robbins offers his blockbuster original audio program for the retail market in both CD and audio download formats!

How do you really want to live? What are you most excited about? What are you grateful for? Do you often feel "stuck" in your life? Are you unable to make changes or break through past beliefs? We often look outside ourselves for these answers. When we do, we give away our power. It's time to find your own answers...uncover your own internal motivations...and set your own rules!

In Tony Robbins' exciting live audio seminar Unleash the Power Within, you'll discover how to transform your limiting beliefs, adding new meaning and depth to your life. You'll learn to tap into your deepest, most personal resources, to become all you truly desire and deserve. And when you begin to claim the abundant rewards your future has in store, you'll not only make a remarkable improvement in your life - but consequently, in our world. Tony shows you how to live your life not by hope...not by chance...but by design. You'll learn

Break old patterns and destroy limiting beliefs Become a decisive person who takes massive, intelligent action Condition yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically to create staggering results Find and develop a strategy of success Have more confidence and self-esteem Develop new communication skills Generate more passion and enthusiasm Become aware of the higher purpose of your life Discover what drives you and what holds you back And much, much more!]]> Tony Robbins 1797111620 Cara 5 audio, scribd
Notes:
Somewhere around ch 11 and definitely before chapter 16, he talks about Carly Simon(?) describing her stage fright/panic attacks and Bruce Springsteen describing the same thing as stage readiness. Just not as zingy language as I heard it before.]]> 4.24
author: Tony Robbins
name: Cara
average rating: 4.24
book published:
rating: 5
read at: 2025/02/28
date added: 2025/03/04
shelves: audio, scribd
review:
I absolutely loved this. The whole week that I listened to it, I felt inspired and happy! And every time I had a small dilemma or difficulty come up in my life, it seemed like the next story or passage in this recording had the answer. I’ll probably listen to this again and again because it feels so good.

Notes:
Somewhere around ch 11 and definitely before chapter 16, he talks about Carly Simon(?) describing her stage fright/panic attacks and Bruce Springsteen describing the same thing as stage readiness. Just not as zingy language as I heard it before.
]]> 180116
The acknowledged expert in the psychology of change, Anthony Robbins provides a step-by-step program teaching the fundamental lessons of self-mastery that will enable you to discover your true purpose, take control of your life, and harness the forces that shape your destiny.]]> 544 Tony Robbins 0671791540 Cara 2 audio, scribd
I just had the audio, which seems to be heavily abridged. But I’m glad there wasn’t more. Did not like. ]]> 4.16 1992
author: Tony Robbins
name: Cara
average rating: 4.16
book published: 1992
rating: 2
read at: 2025/03/04
date added: 2025/03/04
shelves: audio, scribd
review:
As inspiring as I found Unleash the Power Within, I found this one equally uninspiring. It felt like he was lecturing and hassling me the whole time, and demanding that I do ever more, more, more. When I feel like someone is trying to push me, I get really stubborn and refuse to do anything, and that’s what most of this book felt like.

I just had the audio, which seems to be heavily abridged. But I’m glad there wasn’t more. Did not like.
]]> 63276330
Reasons not to crush on Adam:
He's my best friend's brother.
He's my neighbor.
He's the captain of the hockey team.
He's a serial monogamist who's sworn off dating.

Reasons not to fake date Adam: See above.

He has no idea I actually like him—like really like him. But do I listen to any of those really great reasons? Of course not. Now, thanks to my amazing and convincing acting skills, one fake date ends with him being my fake fiancé (oops!).

My bad crush has gotten me in way over my head.]]> 329 Rebecca Jenshak Cara 2
All through this book, these two had such cute, happy interactions. But then, when the chips were down and Adam really needed Reagan�� first she blew up his scholarship opportunity, then she bailed in the middle of one of the most important nights of his life thus far, then she found him afterward and dumped him without provocation.

Seriously?

And then she went on to lose her part in the play, too, because she couldn’t keep her shit together, show up on time, or do a good job. Zero signs of personal responsibility, just whining.

And then Adam still wanted to be with her despite all this, so they just got back together and now everything is fine.

And he won the scholarship despite being a liar and giving a bad speech, when his competition worked really hard, probably did better than him at everything, but is a girl and not the male lead. That part is probably realistic but I hate it. (They found her a different scholarship at least, but still!)

]]> 3.56 2021
author: Rebecca Jenshak
name: Cara
average rating: 3.56
book published: 2021
rating: 2
read at: 2025/02/28
date added: 2025/03/03
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
We’ve found a new trope that I like even less than “let me dump you to protect you from getting hurt.�� It’s “let me dump you to protect ME from getting hurt.��

All through this book, these two had such cute, happy interactions. But then, when the chips were down and Adam really needed Reagan�� first she blew up his scholarship opportunity, then she bailed in the middle of one of the most important nights of his life thus far, then she found him afterward and dumped him without provocation.

Seriously?

And then she went on to lose her part in the play, too, because she couldn’t keep her shit together, show up on time, or do a good job. Zero signs of personal responsibility, just whining.

And then Adam still wanted to be with her despite all this, so they just got back together and now everything is fine.

And he won the scholarship despite being a liar and giving a bad speech, when his competition worked really hard, probably did better than him at everything, but is a girl and not the male lead. That part is probably realistic but I hate it. (They found her a different scholarship at least, but still!)


]]> 25032696 The 1500 Plan Man 1310948852 Cara 0 flying
I don’t plan to pursue a commercial license, but I was curious about getting more flight time on a budget, so I read it anyway. I don’t know enough to say whether this guy is right or whether what he says is still relevant, but it was an interesting, quick read. ]]> 0.0 2015
author: The 1500 Plan Man
name: Cara
average rating: 0.0
book published: 2015
rating: 0
read at: 2025/02/26
date added: 2025/02/27
shelves: flying
review:
Apparently there was a change to the law a bunch of years ago, and suddenly people were required to get a lot more flying time (1500 hours!) before they could get a commercial license. This book is about how to get more flying time on a budget. It’s mostly about how more than one pilot can get flying hours for the same flight. He also explains how buying an airplane can make this a lot cheaper, especially if you split it with one or two friends.

I don’t plan to pursue a commercial license, but I was curious about getting more flight time on a budget, so I read it anyway. I don’t know enough to say whether this guy is right or whether what he says is still relevant, but it was an interesting, quick read.
]]> 220770216 “Nobody is born knowing how to sell, but anyone can learn. When you discover the right words to say and how to say them, you will sell a whole lot more.�� - Jamie Doerschuck

The $1M Coaching & Courses Blueprint is digital marketing and copywriting expert Jamie Doerschuck’s innovative and empowering insider master class for taking any skill or knowledge that you already have�� and transforming it into a thriving, high-visibility internet coaching program, online course, podcast, or membership site. If you have existing digital content, you will learn how to apply Jamie’s proven formula that will allow you to charge up to 10 times more for your online products�� and get more people to buy them!

Whether you have never created anything online, you have already tried developing coaching programs and failed, or you own an established online business and want to quickly increase engagement, click-through, and customer retention, you will learn tried-and-true marketing advice that Jamie has used to increase sales over $12M in just 6 years of applying this exact blueprint with clients of all skill levels and in many market sectors.

In this powerful, but practical marketing and internet sales book, you will

How to charge up to 10X more for your digital content and online education courses, without changing anything about them - or using gimmicks, like flash sales, stacking products, or bait-and-switch offersTired of the 9-to-5 grind and bosses constantly telling you what to do??? Learn how to take what you’re good at�� and turn it into a fun home-based business that gives you financial freedom, flexible hours and potential for multiple income streamsHow to develop persuasive communication skills and use them across multiple internet marketing platforms, like building email lists, social media marketing, and networking with other high-value influencersStep-by-step guidance, checklists, and templates you need to do everything, along with real-world examples of how this process really works at ground level for real peopleGrab your copy of $1M Coaching & Courses Blueprint today and start your rewarding journey towards independence, creativity and financial freedom!

"Jamie is a witty, creative copywriter who understands full funnel marketing, market and audience research, conversion rate optimization, analytics, and nails creating persuasive copy for a target audience. The results speak for themselves. Jamie's work contributed to achieving over 100% increase month-over-month revenue. Just one email sequence she wrote generated $145,797+ revenue in a month." - Cameron Dull, CEO of Merch Jar

Page Up and Order Now.]]> 349 Jamie Doerschuck Cara 0 currently-reading, business
Not only that, it starts with a section on “how to read this book.�� Look, authors and website designers. If you have to explain how to use the book or website you’ve just made, here’s what you do: throw away the explanation, and go back and redo your shit and do it right this time! Books are not new technology. If you have to explain how to read yours, you’re doing it wrong. And if you think it will take people reading it FOUR TIMES (as this author instructs us to do in the “how to read this book�� section), you’re really really doing it wrong.

I understand that not everybody knows how to write a book and do a good job. That’s ok. Spend the couple hundred bucks and get a good editor. That’s what they’re for.

That said, the book does seem to be a useful compilation of a lot of foundational advice for beginners to internet business. So far, it’s all been stuff I already know, but it is a lot of good stuff condensed concisely in one place. So far, it’s all just useful reminders for me, but I can see where it would be really valuable if you’ve never given any thought to marketing or why people buy. (Basic stuff like “start by talking about the problem your product solves, not talking about your company�� can be eye-opening if you didn’t know it before!)

I’m still hoping to learn something new before it’s over. Surely this lady knows something I don’t know, right? ]]> 5.00
author: Jamie Doerschuck
name: Cara
average rating: 5.00
book published:
rating: 0
read at:
date added: 2025/02/20
shelves: currently-reading, business
review:
This book is desperately in need of an editor. The writing is bad, and apparently the author has spent too much time writing sales pages because at least a third of the text is bolded. For a sales pages, using a lot of bold makes sense, because most people skim it and you need to draw their attention to the important parts. But for a book, hopefully people are actually reading. In that situation, bolding the shit out of everything is like the book is screaming at the reader the whole time. It makes you sound dumb as the author.

Not only that, it starts with a section on “how to read this book.�� Look, authors and website designers. If you have to explain how to use the book or website you’ve just made, here’s what you do: throw away the explanation, and go back and redo your shit and do it right this time! Books are not new technology. If you have to explain how to read yours, you’re doing it wrong. And if you think it will take people reading it FOUR TIMES (as this author instructs us to do in the “how to read this book�� section), you’re really really doing it wrong.

I understand that not everybody knows how to write a book and do a good job. That’s ok. Spend the couple hundred bucks and get a good editor. That’s what they’re for.

That said, the book does seem to be a useful compilation of a lot of foundational advice for beginners to internet business. So far, it’s all been stuff I already know, but it is a lot of good stuff condensed concisely in one place. So far, it’s all just useful reminders for me, but I can see where it would be really valuable if you’ve never given any thought to marketing or why people buy. (Basic stuff like “start by talking about the problem your product solves, not talking about your company�� can be eye-opening if you didn’t know it before!)

I’m still hoping to learn something new before it’s over. Surely this lady knows something I don’t know, right?
]]> 53903367 In my defense, the first time I saw her I didn't know who she was.
Kind, gorgeous, a little naïve. Ginny brightened my world from day one.
I knew I was no good for her. She was just out of a relationship and I had a reputation for having a new girl in my bed every weekend.
I tried to do the right thing. Honest.
I'm the one who insisted we should be just friends.
That lasted about as long as you'd expect.
But Ginny? She's the best - best friend, best everything.
So yeah, hooking up with the team captain's sister wasn't a great idea.
Would I do it again?
In a heartbeat.

The first book in a new college hockey romance series.]]> 310 Rebecca Jenshak Cara 4
It was really obvious from the beginning everything that was going to happen, and also that the next book is Reagan and Adam. But that’s fine. It’s a romance, not a mystery.

I’m not sold on why they didn’t just tell Adam in the first place that they were interested in each other. So basically, I thought the whole conflict was stupid. But that didn’t really matter either. Nobody made too big a deal out of it.

And at the end , we got to go to Nathan and Chloe’s wedding! Yay! Bonus!

]]> 3.82
author: Rebecca Jenshak
name: Cara
average rating: 3.82
book published:
rating: 4
read at: 2025/02/18
date added: 2025/02/19
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
This was a fun book. At first, I didn’t remember who Heath was, but then it was like, “oh yeah, Nathan’s little brother.��

It was really obvious from the beginning everything that was going to happen, and also that the next book is Reagan and Adam. But that’s fine. It’s a romance, not a mystery.

I’m not sold on why they didn’t just tell Adam in the first place that they were interested in each other. So basically, I thought the whole conflict was stupid. But that didn’t really matter either. Nobody made too big a deal out of it.

And at the end , we got to go to Nathan and Chloe’s wedding! Yay! Bonus!


]]> 55102016
The first time around, I screwed things up. I hesitated and the moment was gone.

I passed when I shouldn’t have.

Not a total loss. I gained a best friend instead of whatever we might have been.

Sydney is hands down the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’ll do anything to keep her in my life. Even bury my feelings deep inside.

But one hot summer together at the lake filled with lots of teeny-tiny bikinis and I’m ready to risk it all for a second chance.

It’s time to take my shot.

(This is Shaw and Sydney's story!)]]> 280 Rebecca Jenshak 1951815084 Cara 5 3.98 2020
author: Rebecca Jenshak
name: Cara
average rating: 3.98
book published: 2020
rating: 5
read at: 2025/02/16
date added: 2025/02/16
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
I thought we were going to get to see a lot of Chloe scenes from Sydney’s perspective, but no. Still a fun, sweet book though. I really enjoyed how companionable this relationship is, and the fact that we got to spend the whole book enjoying it. And no tragedies, despite the opportunity. I’ve often wished there were books where you could just hang out in people’s good days and nothing bad ever happened. That’s what this book is, and I’m here for it. Five stars for that, even though it’s not a work of art.
]]> 57892381
So when Claire’s drunk, abusive ex-husband dies at Mia’s apartment, Mia packs their bags and puts them on the run. Terrified but determined to support one another, Claire and Mia bumble their way cross-country and through an accidental crime spree. Even as the police close in, Mia’s long simmering feelings for Claire keep bubbling up, disrupting Mia’s efforts to keep her safe.

Packed full of laughs, loves, and petty crimes, Imogen Markwell-Tweed’s Be Gay, Do Crimes, is a charming and thrilling story of best friends falling in love.]]> 125 Imogen Markwell-Tweed 1094418277 Cara 4 audio, scribd 2.76
author: Imogen Markwell-Tweed
name: Cara
average rating: 2.76
book published:
rating: 4
read at: 2025/02/16
date added: 2025/02/16
shelves: audio, scribd
review:
This book was kind of a silly series of misadventures kicked off by one really big-deal bad thing happening. And along the way, they find love (or more accurately, discover the love that was there all along). On one hand, it’s too bad people weren’t brave enough to say how they felt years ago, but whatever. I desperately needed something to keep me from going out of my mind with boredom on a drive, and this was still available on Everand, unlike almost everything else on there. It gave me what I needed and my star rating is based on that.
]]> 48895106 I've made a lot of dumb mistakes but none dumber than losing her.

Senior year. I should be partying and living it up with my friends before graduation, but one more mistake and I'm off the team.

Enter Chloe. She comes into my life at a low point, but she becomes the bright spot I reach for every day. She's the kind of girl who makes a guy want to be a better man. And for a while, I even start to believe I've changed enough to deserve her.

I've got my eye on the future, and I'm letting my past stay where it belongs.
But the thing about the past... it always comes back to bite you when you least expect it.]]> 388 Rebecca Jenshak 1951815009 Cara 4 4.05 2019
author: Rebecca Jenshak
name: Cara
average rating: 4.05
book published: 2019
rating: 4
read at: 2025/02/15
date added: 2025/02/16
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
I really appreciate the way the characters handled things like adults—or at least, Chloe did. All the obvious trope stuff that could have happened didn’t. Thank you, Rebecca Jenshak!
]]> 49838592 He’s spent his whole life chasing the bright lights of the NBA.
We have nothing in common, except for the fact our friends ditched us for spring break.
I have a bucket list for my senior year at Valley U.
He’s the only person I know on campus.
I’m ready to start checking things off my list.

Frat party: Check.
TP the baseball house: Check.
Goat yoga: Check.
Skinny dipping: Check.
Falling for Zeke Sweets, Valley U’s MVP: Not going to happen.]]> 287 Rebecca Jenshak 0999782096 Cara 4 4.07
author: Rebecca Jenshak
name: Cara
average rating: 4.07
book published:
rating: 4
read at: 2025/02/12
date added: 2025/02/13
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
Man, this book just flew by! It was sweet to see Zeke and Gabby fall in love—two side characters who were both kind of on the fringes until now.
]]> 44305143 Alternate cover edition of ASIN B07PFR14GV


This college jock is a total player. He’s used to getting who and what he wants. Until her . . .

Katrina

The hottest guy on campus won’t stop asking me out. I know that sounds like a good problem to have, but this guy�� this guy has no idea how complicated my life is trying to juggle being a single mom and college student.
Every Thursday, he shows up at the café where I work. His cheesy pickup lines and arrogance should have me completely annoyed. I’m not. I can’t say yes, but Thursday is my favorite day of the week.

Joel

The hottest girl on campus won’t go out with me. I know, I know, that sounds presumptuous, but this girl�� this girl has gotten under my skin, and I can’t seem to walk away.
Every Thursday, I show up at the café where she works. She’s fed me every excuse in the book. I should give up and bang one of the many girls blowing up my phone. I’m not. Even when she says no, Thursday is my favorite day of the week.]]> 325 Rebecca Jenshak Cara 3
You can tell the author has gotten a lot better since this book, and either her proofreader has, too , or she hired a better one.]]> 3.95 2019
author: Rebecca Jenshak
name: Cara
average rating: 3.95
book published: 2019
rating: 3
read at: 2025/02/11
date added: 2025/02/12
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
Basically a fun book, but I wasn’t impressed with how the whole conflict basically evaporated because he changed his mind. Still fun hanging out with the basketball gang again, though—even though I’m not a basketball fan, so the game descriptions and metaphors just sound like “and then he sporty-sport-sported again with his sportsball!�� to me.

You can tell the author has gotten a lot better since this book, and either her proofreader has, too , or she hired a better one.
]]> 42615225 You know those stories where the smart girl tutors the dumb jock? This isn't it.

Blair��
What's the probability of insulting the one guy on campus I need to help me pass statistics? If I knew, I wouldn't be standing in front of Wes Reynolds begging him to tutor me.

Basketball player, sexy, arrogant, always sleeping through class... these are the things I knew about him. What I didn't know is that he is a seriously smart jock.

Wes��
What's the best way to get rid of the peppy and unrelenting girl that keeps asking me to tutor her? If I knew, I wouldn't be staring at her tan legs and attempting to teach her statistics.

Sorority girl, fine as f**k, determined, ball buster... these are the things I knew about her. What I didn't know is that she is all the things I didn't realize I wanted or needed.

Or that one semester with her would change everything.]]> 270 Rebecca Jenshak Cara 3
The guy, though? When the going gets tough, the tough acts like a jerk, pushes her away, and takes his pain out on everyone around him.

It’s understandable—he lost his big dream. It is sad. But a lot of people have gone through worse things than a broken foot and been kind to the people around them. Unless he grows up a lot, his guy is not long-term relationship material.

Also, all the jealousy gets tiring. ]]> 3.90 2018
author: Rebecca Jenshak
name: Cara
average rating: 3.90
book published: 2018
rating: 3
read at: 2025/02/07
date added: 2025/02/08
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
I liked the premise, the interactions between the main characters were fun, and I loved how all his friends accepted Blair and she became one of the gang.

The guy, though? When the going gets tough, the tough acts like a jerk, pushes her away, and takes his pain out on everyone around him.

It’s understandable—he lost his big dream. It is sad. But a lot of people have gone through worse things than a broken foot and been kind to the people around them. Unless he grows up a lot, his guy is not long-term relationship material.

Also, all the jealousy gets tiring.
]]> 216375349 My brother’s best friend is such a jerk.

An imposing, handsome jerk who doesn’t trust me. And now we’re roommates.

He wanders around the apartment in nothing but gray sweatpants, looking like a broody, tattooed muscle god, and playing music that shakes the walls. I want to hate him for treating me like an intruder, but there’s something about the way he looks at me—like he’s trying to figure me out—that keeps pulling me in.

Archer Holland is loyal, caring, and protective—with everyone except me.

Every time I move around our apartment, I can feel his glare. And the worst part? It only makes me want him more.

Not that it matters.

He’s my brother’s best friend—the one guy I can never have. But after a late-night rescue, we go from sharing a wall to sharing a bed.

I’m not sure what my brother would do if he found out, but it doesn’t matter because Archer says it can’t happen again.

That imposing, handsome jerk is about to find out I’m done playing by his rules.

Comeback is a football romance with lots of spice, swoon, and a happily ever after. It’s the third book in the Holland Brothers series and can be read as a standalone.

Tropes:

- forced proximity / roommates
- broody tattooed football hero
- sneaking around
- ASL and chronic illness rep
- dual POV]]> 369 Rebecca Jenshak 1951815769 Cara 5
I usually don’t give fluff books 5 stars, but fuck it. This book made me happy. It made me so happy, I may go back and reread all the Holland Brothers books.

Now I want a brother and a loving football team of my very own. lol]]> 4.01 2025
author: Rebecca Jenshak
name: Cara
average rating: 4.01
book published: 2025
rating: 5
read at: 2025/02/07
date added: 2025/02/07
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
This was the perfect romance novel. Sweet characters, sweet love, everyone works hard and achieves their dreams, nothing stupid happens, and nothing bad happens.

I usually don’t give fluff books 5 stars, but fuck it. This book made me happy. It made me so happy, I may go back and reread all the Holland Brothers books.

Now I want a brother and a loving football team of my very own. lol
]]> 58675126
Especially not hotheaded tight ends with tattoos and impulse control problems.

That’s why Dominic Walker is completely off my radar. Sort of.

Babysitting the team troublemaker when he’s forced to volunteer for the foundation where I work means I can’t exactly avoid him.

I wish I had though. Because once I get to know Dominic, it’s almost impossible to ignore the feelings he brings out in me.

Pretty soon, I’m breaking all my rules. I just have to hope he doesn’t break my heart in the process.]]> 296 Karla Sorensen Cara 4
Of course, as soon as he figured out she was his pen pal, it was obvious how the whole thing would turn to shit. But honestly, I feel like she overreacted. I guess it’s true that he deceived her, and it’s understandable that she felt manipulated, but he didn’t really lie to her. He just didn’t tell her an important thing. Maybe I’m splitting hairs, but this seems more forgivable than the book made it out to be.

My favorite character was Maggie, the little girl quarterback. ]]> 4.15 2021
author: Karla Sorensen
name: Cara
average rating: 4.15
book published: 2021
rating: 4
read at: 2025/01/30
date added: 2025/01/30
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
After an overwrought day, this book was a good escape.

Of course, as soon as he figured out she was his pen pal, it was obvious how the whole thing would turn to shit. But honestly, I feel like she overreacted. I guess it’s true that he deceived her, and it’s understandable that she felt manipulated, but he didn’t really lie to her. He just didn’t tell her an important thing. Maybe I’m splitting hairs, but this seems more forgivable than the book made it out to be.

My favorite character was Maggie, the little girl quarterback.
]]> 220579687
Understand how your beliefs and habits are formed, as well as how to control your thoughts and train your inner critic to be your best friend. Embark on your journey toward sustained happiness, health, and success.]]> 176 Linda Allred Cara 5
If you want to change your life, and you don't want to struggle for years to do it, this book is for you.

Personally I was already familiar with hypnosis, the benefits, and why you'd want to do it before I read this book. I've been working with a different hypnotist for a few years now, and I also read everything I can get my hands on about changing your habits, reprogramming your brain, etc. So, for me, there wasn't a lot of new material here. But let's face it: I haven't solved the problems I want to solve yet, so there must be something I've been missing.

Having read the book, I believe all of my therapy, self-coaching, working with other coaches, and hypnosis have all been removing limiting beliefs and improving things log by log, to use Linda's analogy, but never found and removed the kingpin log that's been causing the log jam in the first place. That's what sets Linda's system apart.]]> 5.00
author: Linda Allred
name: Cara
average rating: 5.00
book published:
rating: 5
read at: 2025/01/29
date added: 2025/01/29
shelves: client-work, inspiration, life, about-real-people
review:
I bought this book because Linda was in a program I offered, and I found her so inspiring, I wanted to learn more about her methods. I was blown away to discover that she's taken her flagship program and boiled it all down into this book! The level of generosity here is off the charts.

If you want to change your life, and you don't want to struggle for years to do it, this book is for you.

Personally I was already familiar with hypnosis, the benefits, and why you'd want to do it before I read this book. I've been working with a different hypnotist for a few years now, and I also read everything I can get my hands on about changing your habits, reprogramming your brain, etc. So, for me, there wasn't a lot of new material here. But let's face it: I haven't solved the problems I want to solve yet, so there must be something I've been missing.

Having read the book, I believe all of my therapy, self-coaching, working with other coaches, and hypnosis have all been removing limiting beliefs and improving things log by log, to use Linda's analogy, but never found and removed the kingpin log that's been causing the log jam in the first place. That's what sets Linda's system apart.
]]> 60909831
Chicago hockey isn't complete without me - everyone's favourite player to hate. I know my role, and I play it well. In fact, I thoroughly enjoy spending the majority of my game time in the penalty box before leaving the arena with a new girl on my arm each night.

What I don't like is the new flight attendant on our team's private plane. She works for me, not the other way around. But I'll be sure to remind her of that, and I can guarantee, by the end of the season, she'll be begging to quit her job.

But every road trip blurs the lines, and I can't quite figure out if I keep pushing that flight attendant call button in order to push her buttons, or if it's more than that.

STEVIE

I've been a flight attendant for years. I thought I'd seen it all, but when my new job lands me onboard working for the most egotistical and self-righteous diva in the NHL, I start to second guess everything. Including the promise I made to myself of never hooking up with an athlete again . . . no matter how annoyingly tempting he may be.

Evan Zanders is unfiltered, unapologetic, and too attractive for his own good. He loves his image, but I hate everything about it.

Everything but him.]]> 603 Liz Tomforde Cara 3
And then there was the “I’m going to dump you and break your heart to protect you, even though you beg me not to, because I know what’s best for you!�� Spare me your douchery.

I guess we’re all bad at being mature, functioning adults until we have some practice, but shit. ]]> 3.98 2022
author: Liz Tomforde
name: Cara
average rating: 3.98
book published: 2022
rating: 3
read at: 2025/01/27
date added: 2025/01/27
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
The guy was such a dick in the beginning, ringing the call button every two seconds and making her fetch and carry, to show her she’s on MY plane? What an asshole.

And then there was the “I’m going to dump you and break your heart to protect you, even though you beg me not to, because I know what’s best for you!�� Spare me your douchery.

I guess we’re all bad at being mature, functioning adults until we have some practice, but shit.
]]> 684444
One word: cortisol. The recently discovered connection between cortisol and weight gain is not a consideration in other diets. Elevated cortisol levels increase appetite, enhance fat storage, and disrupt blood sugar control. Cortisol control, explained by Talbott in his previous book, The Cortisol Connection, is the missing link to effective weight loss.

The Cortisol Connection Diet is a safe, practical, proven approach that harnesses the 3 key aspects of metabolism that are at the heart of our epidemic of obesity. With this diet, you’ll eat all of the foods that you love, but you’ll learn how to use your food to control the effects of cortisol and glucose in your body, and ultimately how many calories you burn off or store on your body as fat.]]> 130 Shawn Talbott 0897934504 Cara 4 health, scribd
I had many adventures with fasting last year, and it worked great while I was doing it. And it wasn’t as unpleasant as I expected. But it seems like it left me with some bad habits and then I gained back all but 4 pounds.

This diet’s eating all day and bunches of supplements seems like a pain in the ass, but on the other hand, I sure do like eating. If I could get the same weight loss while eating lots of meals and snacks as I got while eating nothing, that sounds like a pretty great deal. And if this really helps me keep it off, too? That’s what I want.

I think I’m going to try it.

I like that all the people said they didn’t even feel like they were on a diet, and I like that this guy did a study with the toughest weight loss cases he could find before publishing the book. ]]> 3.35 2004
author: Shawn Talbott
name: Cara
average rating: 3.35
book published: 2004
rating: 4
read at: 2025/01/21
date added: 2025/01/21
shelves: health, scribd
review:
This makes sense and matches most of what I’ve heard in other places, with one big exception: this guy has you eating all the freakin time (3 meals plus 3 snacks) whereas the fasting people say that’s the opposite of what you should do. This guy (and others) say fasting, or even just stressful dieting, produces more cortisol, and that ruins everything, causes insulin resistance, and makes it impossible to lose weight.

I had many adventures with fasting last year, and it worked great while I was doing it. And it wasn’t as unpleasant as I expected. But it seems like it left me with some bad habits and then I gained back all but 4 pounds.

This diet’s eating all day and bunches of supplements seems like a pain in the ass, but on the other hand, I sure do like eating. If I could get the same weight loss while eating lots of meals and snacks as I got while eating nothing, that sounds like a pretty great deal. And if this really helps me keep it off, too? That’s what I want.

I think I’m going to try it.

I like that all the people said they didn’t even feel like they were on a diet, and I like that this guy did a study with the toughest weight loss cases he could find before publishing the book.
]]> 199285128 Kennedy

I’m the only woman on staff for the Windy City Warriors, and after years of putting up with a sexist lead doctor, I’m desperate to land my dream job with a new team next year. All I have to do is maintain my professional reputation for my final season in Chicago.

But a Las Vegas run-in with the team’s shortstop threatens it all, leaving me with a fuzzy memory and a ring on my left hand.

Now, not only am I legally bound to the most persistent man I’ve ever met, but thanks to Isaiah’s scheme to save my job, I have to pretend the whole thing was a planned elopement and not a drunken mistake.

Isaiah Rhodes is reckless, impulsive, and frustratingly charming. He’s also my brand-new husband.

They got the saying wrong. What happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas�� sometimes it follows you right back home.


Isaiah

As the shortstop for Chicago’s professional baseball team, I’ve had my fair share of fun. But that all ended the day Kennedy Kay became a single woman.

I’ve crushed on the team’s athletic trainer for years. I’ve flirted to no avail, so imagine my surprise when I woke up in Sin City with a ring on my finger and my favorite redhead in my bed.

We agree to stay married for one baseball season, just long enough to keep her job safe, but in my mind, I’m using our time together to prove to her I’m husband material.

Kennedy might be reluctant to join in on our game, but it’s one I refuse to lose.

So come on, wife�� play along.]]> 384 Liz Tomforde Cara 4 4.44 2024
author: Liz Tomforde
name: Cara
average rating: 4.44
book published: 2024
rating: 4
read at: 2025/01/20
date added: 2025/01/20
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
Fun book that had me literally laughing out loud many times, and hard enough that I was afraid I might be bothering the neighbors. It was obvious how the conflict would be resolved, but who cares? It’s a sweet, fun read, and I’ll be getting the rest of the series. As the author made a big fuss about some of the secondary characters, I figured this must be a later book in a series, and sure enough, it is. It will be fun to see how the other couples got together.
]]> 199344873
She’s unprepared, though, for what comes next: a surprise announcement from her straight-arrow son, an impending separation from her spikey teenaged daughter, and a seductive resurgence of the past, all of which threaten to draw her back into the patterns that had previously kept her on a razor’s edge.

Same As It Ever Was traverses the rocky terrain of real life, —exploring new avenues of maternal ambivalence, intergenerational friendship, and the happenstantial cause-and-effect that governs us all. Delving even deeper into the nature of relationships—how they grow, change, and sometimes end—Lombardo proves herself a true and definitive cartographer of the human heart and asserts herself among the finest novelists of her generation.]]> 498 Claire Lombardo 0385549555 Cara 0 to-read 3.82 2024
author: Claire Lombardo
name: Cara
average rating: 3.82
book published: 2024
rating: 0
read at:
date added: 2025/01/17
shelves: to-read
review:

]]> 56643994 A top expert on human trauma argues that��we��vastly overestimate��how common PTSD��is and��fail��to��recognize��how resilient people really are

After 9/11, mental health professionals��flocked��to New York to handle what everyone assumed would be a flood of trauma cases.��Oddly,��the��flood��never came.

In��The��End of Trauma, pioneering psychologist George��A.��Bonanno argues that we failed to predict the psychological response to 9/11 because most of what we understand about trauma is wrong.��For starters, it’s��not nearly as common as we think. In fact, people are overwhelmingly resilient to��adversity.��What we often interpret as��PTSD��are signs��of a natural process��of learning��how to��deal��with��a��specific situation. We can cope far more effectively if we understand how this��process��works.��Drawing on four decades of��research,��Bonanno��explains what makes us resilient, why��we��sometimes��aren’t, and��how we can better handle��traumatic stress.

Hopeful and humane,��The End of Trauma��overturns��everything��we thought��we knew��about how people��respond to hardship.]]> 336 George A. Bonanno 1541674367 Cara 0 to-read 3.74
author: George A. Bonanno
name: Cara
average rating: 3.74
book published:
rating: 0
read at:
date added: 2025/01/17
shelves: to-read
review:

]]> 56614549
An intense conversation, a spat with a partner, or even an obnoxious tweet―these situations aren’t life-or-death, yet we often react as if they are. That’s because our bodies treat most perceived threats the same way. Yet one approach has proven to be incredibly effective in training our nervous system to stop overreacting and start responding to the world with greater safety and Polyvagal Theory.

In Anchored , expert teacher Deb Dana shares a down-to-earth presentation of Polyvagal Theory, then brings the science to life with practical, everyday ways to transform your relationship with your body. Using field-tested techniques, Dana helps you master the skills to become more aware of your nervous system moment to moment―and change the way you respond to the great and small challenges of life.

Here, you’ll

�� Polyvagal Theory―get to know the biology and function of your vagus nerve, the highway of the nervous system
�� Befriending Your Nervous System―attune to what’s going on in your body by developing your “neuroception��
�� Using Your Vagal Brake―discover key techniques to consciously regulate the intensity of your emotions
�� Connection and Protection―learn to recognize and influence your internal cues for safety and danger
�� Your Social Engagement System―find ways to create nourishing relationships with others and the world around you
�� Practices and guidance to gently shape your nervous system for greater resilience, intuition, safety, and wonder

Through guided imagery, meditation, self-inquiry, and more, Anchored offers a practical user’s manual for moving from a place of fear and panic into a grounded space of balance and confidence. “Once we know how our nervous system works, we can work with it,�� teaches Deb Dana. “We can learn to access an embodied, biological resource that is always present, available, and there to guide us toward well-being.”]]> 208 Deb Dana 1683647068 Cara 0 to-read 3.94
author: Deb Dana
name: Cara
average rating: 3.94
book published:
rating: 0
read at:
date added: 2025/01/17
shelves: to-read
review:

]]> 34555334 New York Times bestselling author Jennifer Chiaverini illuminates the fascinating life of Ada Byron King, Countess of Lovelace--Lord Byron's daughter, the world's first computer programmer, and a woman whose exceptional contributions to science and technology have been too long unsung.

The only legitimate child of Lord Byron, the most brilliant, revered, and scandalous of the Romantic poets, Ada was destined for fame long before her birth. Estranged from Ada's father, who was infamously -mad, bad, and dangerous to know, - Ada's mathematician mother is determined to save her only child from her perilous Byron heritage. Banishing fairy tales and make-believe from the nursery, Ada's mother provides her daughter with a rigorous education grounded in mathematics and science. Any troubling spark of imagination--or worse yet, passion or poetry--is promptly extinguished. Or so her mother believes.
When Ada is introduced into London society as a highly eligible young heiress, she at last discovers the intellectual and social circles she has craved all her life. Little does she realize that her delightful new friendship with inventor Charles Babbage--brilliant, charming, and occasionally curmudgeonly--will shape her destiny. Intrigued by the prototype of his first calculating machine, the Difference Engine, and enthralled by the plans for his even more advanced Analytical Engine, Ada resolves to help Babbage realize his extraordinary vision, unique in her understanding of how his invention could transform the world. All the while, she passionately studies mathematics--ignoring skeptics who consider it an unusual, even unhealthy pursuit for a woman--falls in love, discovers the shocking secrets behind her parents' estrangement, and comes to terms with the unquenchable fire of her imagination.
In Enchantress of Numbers, New York Times bestselling author Jennifer Chiaverini unveils the passions, dreams, and insatiable thirst for knowledge of a largely unheralded pioneer in computing--a young woman who stepped out of her father's shadow to achieve her own laurels and champion the new technology that would shape the future.]]> 447 Jennifer Chiaverini 1101985224 Cara 0 to-read 3.60 2017
author: Jennifer Chiaverini
name: Cara
average rating: 3.60
book published: 2017
rating: 0
read at:
date added: 2025/01/17
shelves: to-read
review:

]]> 198678736 **A New York Times Bestseller**

'Co-Intelligence is the very best book I know about the ins, outs, and ethics of generative AI. Drop everything and read it cover to cover NOW' Angela Duckworth

Consumer AI has arrived. And with it, inescapable upheaval as we grapple with what it means for our jobs, lives and the future of humanity.

Cutting through the noise of AI evangelists and AI doom-mongers, Wharton professor Ethan Mollick has become one of the most prominent and provocative explainers of AI, focusing on the practical aspects of how these new tools for thought can transform our world. In Co-Intelligence, he urges us to engage with AI as co-worker, co-teacher and coach. Wide ranging, hugely thought-provoking and optimistic, Co-Intelligence reveals the promise and power of this new era.]]> 243 Ethan Mollick 075356078X Cara 0 to-read 3.98 2024
author: Ethan Mollick
name: Cara
average rating: 3.98
book published: 2024
rating: 0
read at:
date added: 2025/01/17
shelves: to-read
review:

]]> 60139504 How to Keep House While Drowning will introduce you to six life-changing principles that will revolutionize the way you approach home care—without endless to-do lists. Presented in 31 daily thoughts, this compassionate guide will help you begin to get free of the shame and anxiety you feel over home care.

Inside you will learn:
· How to shift your perspective of care tasks from moral to functional;
· How to stop negative self-talk and shame around care tasks;
· How to give yourself permission to rest, even when things aren’t finished;
· How to motivate yourself to care for your space.]]> 151 K.C. Davis 166800285X Cara 4 health, life
I heard about this on Chris Guillebeau’s new blog thingie, and I thought I’d check it out. I was balls to the wall on a big project for my business, and I felt like the housework was mushrooming out of control behind my back. I hoped to get a few tactics for streamlining it or something.

I’ve been depressed to a level that I thought was about as severe as it gets, and I’ve let my house and other responsibilities get out of hand about as bad as I thought it could get. My number-one takeaway from this book is that I was not out on the long tail of the bell curve like I thought, for mental illness or housekeeping. I was maybe just barely on the falling side of the main bell part. It can get so much worse! This book offered strategies for if you can’t take a shower for weeks, so then your hair gets all matted, and if you barely have the energy to take a shower in the first place, how the hell are you going to find the energy to untangle that? Or if your dishes have been in the sink for three months, same. Fuck!

My main takeaways from this book are:
- Housework and other care tasks are morally neutral. You’re not a bad person if you don’t do them. But it is easier to keep things functional if you do. But shame will never help you get there.

- She and her husband had way more work than could be done, between two kids under the age of two and being a lawyer going after a promotion or on a big case or something. So instead of trying to divide the work fairly, they focused on making sure everyone got some rest, and that division was fair. So, one of them slept in Saturday mornings and the other slept in Sunday mornings, and a lot of stuff just didn’t get done, but at least they made it through that time.

- Be kind to yourself.

- She puts the baby to bed, and while her husband is putting the older kid to bed (which takes longer), she does the closing tasks: make sure there are enough clean dishes, bottles, and counter space for tomorrow, and whatever other setup is needed to have a functional morning.

- Sometimes she abbreviates the closing tasks to the bare minimum when she’s tired, and that’s ok. You have to balance gifts to your future self with gifts to your present self.

- In the midst of all this, she and her husband stop working at 7:30 every night, have some couple time, and go to bed. 7:30!! What am I doing working until 1am some nights, when I know it makes me miserable? I don’t have little kids or a law firm!

I feel like I really need to rethink the way I’m running my life so I can quit by 7:30 every night, too. Working so hard takes all the joy out of it, and I normally love what I do.

P. 131

“There are just some seasons of life we have to limp through. I so often look back on these seasons and say to myself with tenderness, ‘Wow, I was really doing the best I could with what I had.�� And that’s the funny thing about doing your best; it never feels like your best at the time. In fact, it almost always feels like failing when you’re in it.�� (Emphasis the author’s)

so much this!!!!

Overall, this book make me cry a bunch of times because compassion often does. It was a peaceful book to read and definitely a stepping stone on the unconditional love and acceptance project.

It was also super tiny and easy to read, almost like a children’s book. But they printed it in a sans-serif font that I found off-putting. They say it’s to make it more readable for neurodivergent people, but it definitely made it harder for me. I hope this isn’t a new trend. Isn’t there hundreds of years of evidence that serif fonts are easier to read on paper? At first, I thought the publisher just hired the cheapest freelancer they could find to design the book, and I’m still not 100% convinced that’s not what they did. But I hope the neurodivergent readers really did find it helpful. And if this becomes a trend, I can always just read books on Kindle. It seems like it’s easier to remember them that way anyway.

��

I had pneumonia really bad four months after I read this. It took me two months to recover. I was really glad I had read this book, because the perspective and some of the tips really came in handy when I had only 10-20% of my normal energy but still had to take care of myself well enough to stay alive. Thinking through priorities and strategies for keeping things going well enough to make sure all critical needs were met? That would have wasted a lot of energy I couldn’t afford. I was glad this author had already done it for me.]]> 4.22 2022
author: K.C. Davis
name: Cara
average rating: 4.22
book published: 2022
rating: 4
read at: 2024/05/24
date added: 2025/01/14
shelves: health, life
review:
Wow, this book.

I heard about this on Chris Guillebeau’s new blog thingie, and I thought I’d check it out. I was balls to the wall on a big project for my business, and I felt like the housework was mushrooming out of control behind my back. I hoped to get a few tactics for streamlining it or something.

I’ve been depressed to a level that I thought was about as severe as it gets, and I’ve let my house and other responsibilities get out of hand about as bad as I thought it could get. My number-one takeaway from this book is that I was not out on the long tail of the bell curve like I thought, for mental illness or housekeeping. I was maybe just barely on the falling side of the main bell part. It can get so much worse! This book offered strategies for if you can’t take a shower for weeks, so then your hair gets all matted, and if you barely have the energy to take a shower in the first place, how the hell are you going to find the energy to untangle that? Or if your dishes have been in the sink for three months, same. Fuck!

My main takeaways from this book are:
- Housework and other care tasks are morally neutral. You’re not a bad person if you don’t do them. But it is easier to keep things functional if you do. But shame will never help you get there.

- She and her husband had way more work than could be done, between two kids under the age of two and being a lawyer going after a promotion or on a big case or something. So instead of trying to divide the work fairly, they focused on making sure everyone got some rest, and that division was fair. So, one of them slept in Saturday mornings and the other slept in Sunday mornings, and a lot of stuff just didn’t get done, but at least they made it through that time.

- Be kind to yourself.

- She puts the baby to bed, and while her husband is putting the older kid to bed (which takes longer), she does the closing tasks: make sure there are enough clean dishes, bottles, and counter space for tomorrow, and whatever other setup is needed to have a functional morning.

- Sometimes she abbreviates the closing tasks to the bare minimum when she’s tired, and that’s ok. You have to balance gifts to your future self with gifts to your present self.

- In the midst of all this, she and her husband stop working at 7:30 every night, have some couple time, and go to bed. 7:30!! What am I doing working until 1am some nights, when I know it makes me miserable? I don’t have little kids or a law firm!

I feel like I really need to rethink the way I’m running my life so I can quit by 7:30 every night, too. Working so hard takes all the joy out of it, and I normally love what I do.

P. 131

“There are just some seasons of life we have to limp through. I so often look back on these seasons and say to myself with tenderness, ‘Wow, I was really doing the best I could with what I had.�� And that’s the funny thing about doing your best; it never feels like your best at the time. In fact, it almost always feels like failing when you’re in it.�� (Emphasis the author’s)

so much this!!!!

Overall, this book make me cry a bunch of times because compassion often does. It was a peaceful book to read and definitely a stepping stone on the unconditional love and acceptance project.

It was also super tiny and easy to read, almost like a children’s book. But they printed it in a sans-serif font that I found off-putting. They say it’s to make it more readable for neurodivergent people, but it definitely made it harder for me. I hope this isn’t a new trend. Isn’t there hundreds of years of evidence that serif fonts are easier to read on paper? At first, I thought the publisher just hired the cheapest freelancer they could find to design the book, and I’m still not 100% convinced that’s not what they did. But I hope the neurodivergent readers really did find it helpful. And if this becomes a trend, I can always just read books on Kindle. It seems like it’s easier to remember them that way anyway.

��

I had pneumonia really bad four months after I read this. It took me two months to recover. I was really glad I had read this book, because the perspective and some of the tips really came in handy when I had only 10-20% of my normal energy but still had to take care of myself well enough to stay alive. Thinking through priorities and strategies for keeping things going well enough to make sure all critical needs were met? That would have wasted a lot of energy I couldn’t afford. I was glad this author had already done it for me.
]]> 58684524
While her ultra-wealthy parents want her to carry on the family legacy of world-renowned surgeons, Alexis doesn’t need glory or fame. She’s fine with being a “mere�� ER doctor. And every minute she spends with Daniel and the tight-knit town where he lives, she’s discovering just what’s really important. Yet letting their relationship become anything more than a short-term fling would mean turning her back on her family and giving up the opportunity to help thousands of people.

Bringing Daniel into her world is impossible, and yet she can’t just give up the joy she’s found with him either. With so many differences between them, how can Alexis possibly choose between her world and his?

The New York Times bestselling author of Life's Too Short delivers a refreshingly modern fairy tale perfect for fans of Casey McQuiston and Emily Henry.]]> 389 Abby Jimenez 1538704374 Cara 5 fun-or-frivolity
One thing I found a little over the top was how helpless Alexis was in day-to-day life. Can you really become an ER doctor without ever learning how to use a broom or peel a potato or trip a circuit breaker? I guess, if you’re rich enough. It seems like authors like to make female main character helpless, like it makes them cute or something. So many of them seem to be proud not to be able to cook. To me, that’s just sad. But I liked that Daniel taught her all kinds of stuff so she could become a more fully functional human being, and she realized not knowing how to do anything was keeping her disempowered, so she did the learning and growing required to correct it. It was pretty hilarious when Neil walked in on her fixing the garbage disposal.

Which reminds me, the other thing about this book is that Neil is the same kind of bad ex as my most recent ex. It was useful to me to walk with Alexis through leaving the garbage he used to say to her behind, and rebuilding her self-esteem and self-worth. That was probably the most valuable part of this book for me. But probably the part I enjoyed the most was when she randomly showed up and doctored whatever townspeople needed it.

The idea that this big-deal hospital would totally agree to create its first two satellite locations in whatever random boony places the two Montgomery offspring happened to fall in love, especially when one was two hours away and one was in f’ing Africa, seemed pretty unbelievable. But whatever. Yay, happy ending!

One of my favorite quotes, which I don’t have the exact words for, was Bri saying, “Imagine being a whole-ass doctor, and your family is like, ‘why are you such a disappointment?’�� That’s the long and short of it. Alexis’s dad is a cartoon villain, and her mom is a wuss.

��
Re-read to see how the pieces fit with book 3, and also because I just loved it so much. Man, I read this two or three times in a row in two weeks when I had pneumonia. The one with Bri and Jacob is still my absolute favorite, but I’d read this one again and again, too. Well, obviously, since I already have.]]> 4.26 2022
author: Abby Jimenez
name: Cara
average rating: 4.26
book published: 2022
rating: 5
read at: 2025/01/13
date added: 2025/01/14
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
I wanted to savor this book, but I just fell into its world and didn’t want to leave. Having already read the sequel, it was fun to meet Daniel and Alexis and watch their love story unfold. The premise of this one didn’t grab me as much as the next book, and the rich girl/poor boy thing didn’t really do that much for me, but I still love how this author creates characters and brings them and their world to life. I had this from the library for two weeks before the next person who has it on hold, and in that time, I read it three times plus I reread the second one. This book was a really nice companion while I had pneumonia. The second one is still my favorite, though.

One thing I found a little over the top was how helpless Alexis was in day-to-day life. Can you really become an ER doctor without ever learning how to use a broom or peel a potato or trip a circuit breaker? I guess, if you’re rich enough. It seems like authors like to make female main character helpless, like it makes them cute or something. So many of them seem to be proud not to be able to cook. To me, that’s just sad. But I liked that Daniel taught her all kinds of stuff so she could become a more fully functional human being, and she realized not knowing how to do anything was keeping her disempowered, so she did the learning and growing required to correct it. It was pretty hilarious when Neil walked in on her fixing the garbage disposal.

Which reminds me, the other thing about this book is that Neil is the same kind of bad ex as my most recent ex. It was useful to me to walk with Alexis through leaving the garbage he used to say to her behind, and rebuilding her self-esteem and self-worth. That was probably the most valuable part of this book for me. But probably the part I enjoyed the most was when she randomly showed up and doctored whatever townspeople needed it.

The idea that this big-deal hospital would totally agree to create its first two satellite locations in whatever random boony places the two Montgomery offspring happened to fall in love, especially when one was two hours away and one was in f’ing Africa, seemed pretty unbelievable. But whatever. Yay, happy ending!

One of my favorite quotes, which I don’t have the exact words for, was Bri saying, “Imagine being a whole-ass doctor, and your family is like, ‘why are you such a disappointment?’�� That’s the long and short of it. Alexis’s dad is a cartoon villain, and her mom is a wuss.

��
Re-read to see how the pieces fit with book 3, and also because I just loved it so much. Man, I read this two or three times in a row in two weeks when I had pneumonia. The one with Bri and Jacob is still my absolute favorite, but I’d read this one again and again, too. Well, obviously, since I already have.
]]> 199534613
“[An] enormously entertaining and lovable book.�� —Nick Hornby, New York Times Book Review

A bold, laugh-out-loud funny, and heartwarming story about one young woman’s attempt to navigate adulthood, new motherhood, and her meager bank account in our increasingly online world—from the PEN/Faulkner finalist and critically acclaimed author of The Knockout Queen.

As the child of a Hooters waitress and an ex-pro wrestler, Margo Millet's always known she’d have to make it on her own. So she enrolls at her local junior college, even though she can’t imagine how she’ll ever make a living. She’s still figuring things out and never planned to have an affair with her English professor—and while the affair is brief, it isn’t brief enough to keep her from getting pregnant. Despite everyone’s advice, she decides to keep the baby, mostly out of naiveté and a yearning for something bigger.

Now, at twenty, Margo is alone with an infant, unemployed, and on the verge of eviction. She needs a cash infusion—fast. When her estranged father, Jinx, shows up on her doorstep and asks to move in with her, she agrees in exchange for help with childcare. Then Margo begins to form a plan: she’ll start an OnlyFans as an experiment, and soon finds herself adapting some of Jinx’s advice from the world of wrestling. Like how to craft a compelling character and make your audience fall in love with you. Before she knows it, she’s turned it into a runaway success. Could this be the answer to all of Margo’s problems, or does internet fame come with too high a price?

Blisteringly funny and filled with sharp insight, Margo’s Got Money Troubles is a tender tale starring an endearing young heroine who’s struggling to wrest money and power from a world that has little interest in giving it to her. It’s a playful and honest examination of the art of storytelling and controlling your own narrative, and an empowering portrait of coming into your own, both online and off.

“A wholly original novel. . . . Thorpe is both poetic and profound in the way she brings her remarkable story to an end.�� —The Associated Press]]> 304 Rufi Thorpe 0063356589 Cara 5 fun-or-frivolity
But then I got hooked, and gradually, I fell in love with Margo and Bodhi and Jinx. And Suzy and JB. Even Mark somewhat redeemed himself.

And then there was all the talk about storytelling and how to make something viral and business ideas! These are a few of my favorite things!

By the end, I love love loved this book and was sorry to see it end.

I think part of why the story was so annoying at first is Margo was just so young and dumb and helpless and victim-y. Yes, she was surrounded by jerks, but she was also pretty entitled herself. As the book went on, she grew up, got more volition, and stepped into her power. I really enjoyed that. Go Margo! Kick some ass and take some names! I wish there was more.]]> 3.87 2024
author: Rufi Thorpe
name: Cara
average rating: 3.87
book published: 2024
rating: 5
read at: 2025/01/14
date added: 2025/01/14
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
At first, I did not like this book at all. I was like, “who is this annoying narrator, and why does she keep interrupting the story?�� I almost DNF’d around page 8.

But then I got hooked, and gradually, I fell in love with Margo and Bodhi and Jinx. And Suzy and JB. Even Mark somewhat redeemed himself.

And then there was all the talk about storytelling and how to make something viral and business ideas! These are a few of my favorite things!

By the end, I love love loved this book and was sorry to see it end.

I think part of why the story was so annoying at first is Margo was just so young and dumb and helpless and victim-y. Yes, she was surrounded by jerks, but she was also pretty entitled herself. As the book went on, she grew up, got more volition, and stepped into her power. I really enjoyed that. Go Margo! Kick some ass and take some names! I wish there was more.
]]> 203820262 An explosive new novel brimming with love, secrets, and enchantment

The Fall siblings live in hot Northern California wine country, where the sun pours out of the sky, and the devil winds blow so hard they whip the sense right out of your head.

Years ago, the Fall kids�� father mysteriously disappeared, cracking the family into pieces. Now Dizzy Fall, age twelve, bakes cakes, sees spirits, and wishes she were a heroine of a romance novel. Miles Fall, seventeen, brainiac, athlete, and dog-whisperer, is a raving beauty, but also lost, and desperate to meet the kind of guy he dreams of. And Wynton Fall, nineteen, who raises the temperature of a room just by entering it, is a virtuoso violinist set on a crash course for fame . . . or self-destruction.

Then an enigmatic rainbow-haired girl shows up, tipping the Falls�� world over. She might be an angel. Or a saint. Or an ordinary girl. Somehow, she is vital to each of them. But before anyone can figure out who she is, catastrophe strikes, leaving the Falls more broken than ever. And more desperate to be whole.

With road trips, rivalries, family curses, love stories within love stories within love stories, and sorrows and joys passed from generation to generation, this is the intricate, luminous tale of a family’s complicated past and present. And only in telling their stories can they hope to rewrite their futures.]]> 528 Jandy Nelson 0525429093 Cara 5 fun-or-frivolity
I felt like this book was making me feel all the feelings in the world. But even the pain was beautiful. I didn’t want to escape or look away. And the book seemed to last and last. I didn’t want it to end, but unlike most books I’ve really enjoyed lately, I was able to savor it.

I loved this book and I’ll probably start right back over and read it again.

But more importantly, I felt like I worked through a lot of shit vicariously through the characters. So many different ways for the same theme to play out: wanting to be the favorite, wanting to be chosen, and not being. Or sometimes, being the favorite or chosen but not even knowing it. Misunderstandings leading to feelings of rejection that aren’t even coming from the other person.

Being brave enough to face your pain and risk your heart�� or not being brave enough to try.

I feel like this is the theme of my whole life, especially the part about not being chosen and not being the favorite, so this book was a healing experience.

[spoilers removed]]]> 4.20 2024
author: Jandy Nelson
name: Cara
average rating: 4.20
book published: 2024
rating: 5
read at: 2025/01/01
date added: 2025/01/01
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
Woooooow. The author said writing this book was like trying to stuff a continent into an envelope. I can see that. There was a lot going on here. Quite a complex story with a lot of characters�� and all of them bright and vivid and well-made.

I felt like this book was making me feel all the feelings in the world. But even the pain was beautiful. I didn’t want to escape or look away. And the book seemed to last and last. I didn’t want it to end, but unlike most books I’ve really enjoyed lately, I was able to savor it.

I loved this book and I’ll probably start right back over and read it again.

But more importantly, I felt like I worked through a lot of shit vicariously through the characters. So many different ways for the same theme to play out: wanting to be the favorite, wanting to be chosen, and not being. Or sometimes, being the favorite or chosen but not even knowing it. Misunderstandings leading to feelings of rejection that aren’t even coming from the other person.

Being brave enough to face your pain and risk your heart�� or not being brave enough to try.

I feel like this is the theme of my whole life, especially the part about not being chosen and not being the favorite, so this book was a healing experience.

[spoilers removed]
]]> 42379022
When the father Nina never knew existed suddenly dies, leaving behind innumerable sisters, brothers, nieces, and nephews, Nina is horrified. They all live close by! They're all—or mostly all—excited to meet her! She'll have to Speak. To. Strangers. It's a disaster! And as if that wasn't enough, Tom, her trivia nemesis, has turned out to be cute, funny, and deeply interested in getting to know her. Doesn't he realize what a terrible idea that is?

Nina considers her options.

1. Completely change her name and appearance. (Too drastic, plus she likes her hair.)
2. Flee to a deserted island. (Hard pass, see: coffee).
3. Hide in a corner of her apartment and rock back and forth. (Already doing it.)

It's time for Nina to come out of her comfortable shell, but she isn't convinced real life could ever live up to fiction. It's going to take a brand-new family, a persistent suitor, and the combined effects of ice cream and trivia to make her turn her own fresh page.]]> 351 Abbi Waxman 0451491882 Cara 4 fun-or-frivolity
I feel like this book was written just for me. Nina wants to enjoy her newly-discovered family. She wants Tom to be her boyfriend and she also wants to run away, hide in her apartment, and never come out.

Yep.

I was proud of her for being brave and doing the thing. ]]> 3.80 2019
author: Abbi Waxman
name: Cara
average rating: 3.80
book published: 2019
rating: 4
read at: 2024/12/24
date added: 2024/12/24
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
This is as the perfect companion for a solo Christmas Eve. Nina’s love for her Thursday evening Nothing!

I feel like this book was written just for me. Nina wants to enjoy her newly-discovered family. She wants Tom to be her boyfriend and she also wants to run away, hide in her apartment, and never come out.

Yep.

I was proud of her for being brave and doing the thing.
]]> 217107993 From New York Times bestselling author Jane Green comes a riveting story about a friendship that turns ugly when a woman realizes her new best friend is not what she seems.

By all accounts, Lucy’s handled her divorce well. She’s finally in the cozy, plant-filled house of her dreams. And although she doesn’t fit in with the other divorcées—all busy looking for their next ex—she’s excited to get down to earth and savor the small joys of life.

When Lucy meets Elle, a hip younger woman who shares her same passions, their connection is instant. Taking a chance on kismet, Lucy forges a friendship that fills her days with meaning. She and Elle are inseparable, from sunup to sundown, enjoying the immediate ease and familiarity of each other’s company.

But as Lucy introduces Elle to her circle, a new side of her friend appears. And try as she might, Lucy can’t ignore her misgivings. Who is Elle really? And can their all-consuming friendship survive closer inspection?]]> 44 Jane Green 1662518897 Cara 2
I kept expecting something more nefarious but it was just everyday bitchiness and self-absorption as far as I can tell. The whole thing felt pointless. ]]> 3.45 2024
author: Jane Green
name: Cara
average rating: 3.45
book published: 2024
rating: 2
read at: 2024/12/23
date added: 2024/12/23
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
This short story didn’t really come together for me. There’s a whirlwind friendship, then the big reveal, then the main character goes to therapy and the moral of the story is told not shown.

I kept expecting something more nefarious but it was just everyday bitchiness and self-absorption as far as I can tell. The whole thing felt pointless.
]]> 23924389
With her acclaimed hardcover debut, No Place Like Home, readers enthusiastically welcomed Barbara Samuel into the ranks of bestselling women’s fiction, applauding her stirring novel of loss and redemption. In A Piece of Heaven, she shares another poignant tale rich in atmosphere and insight that explores the complexity of relationships, the importance of family, and the healing power of love.

In the sun-baked hills of New Mexico, Luna McGraw has lived a lifetime of regrets, struggling to conquer the demons that destroyed her marriage and caused her to lose custody of her beloved daughter. But as Luna fights to rebuild a relationship with the troubled teenager, she remains haunted by images of her own childhood and the father she barely knew.

Strong and resilient as the houses he builds, Thomas Coyote comes into Luna’s life one extraordinary night when his grandmother nearly dies while conjuring a fiery brew of spiritual enchantment. Luna does not need a man�� especially one with a needy ex-wife—to complicate her fragile dreams of the future. Their attraction pushes them both beyond reason into a place where there is only possibility. Yet it will take more than passion to recover the tattered pieces of Luna’s soul, more than time to forgive the sins of an offending husband, and more than promises to mend the broken heart of a child.

A Piece of Heaven is an irresistible novel full of colorful characters and lush settings spiced with the magical flavors of the Southwest, a brilliant tapestry of romance and realism by a master storyteller.]]> 412 Barbara O'Neal Cara 4 No Place Like HomeNo Place Like Home so much. I probably wouldn't have chosen this book next, but it was the one in the preview at the end of the book, and I was hooked enough to go for it. I expect I'll be reading all of this author's books, so the order really doesn't matter.

This one didn't grab me as much, I think because I didn't really like the main character as much. Somehow she seemed kind of hard and crusty in the beginning, even though she really didn't seem that way for the rest of the book.

[spoilers removed]

At first, I was judging the characters for being so afraid to risk their hearts and let themselves try being in love, but then I realized I hold back all the time because I'm afraid of the pain of things not working out how I hoped. It's not so obvious in love, but I do it all the time in business. And even love, one of the great loves of my life, when I met him, I knew it was going to turn my life upside down and I considered running away to Portland or Seattle to avoid it. But then I figured I'd just fall in love with somebody out there anyway, so I might as well go with what I had and at least not have to move across the country.

Anyway, this was a good book. If I'm seeing what's happening correctly, it looks like it was self-published but then got picked up by Amazon's publishing house. If so, congratulations to the author! And please keep writing more more more! :)]]> 4.28 2002
author: Barbara O'Neal
name: Cara
average rating: 4.28
book published: 2002
rating: 4
read at: 2024/02/28
date added: 2024/12/23
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
I got this book because I loved No Place Like HomeNo Place Like Home so much. I probably wouldn't have chosen this book next, but it was the one in the preview at the end of the book, and I was hooked enough to go for it. I expect I'll be reading all of this author's books, so the order really doesn't matter.

This one didn't grab me as much, I think because I didn't really like the main character as much. Somehow she seemed kind of hard and crusty in the beginning, even though she really didn't seem that way for the rest of the book.

[spoilers removed]

At first, I was judging the characters for being so afraid to risk their hearts and let themselves try being in love, but then I realized I hold back all the time because I'm afraid of the pain of things not working out how I hoped. It's not so obvious in love, but I do it all the time in business. And even love, one of the great loves of my life, when I met him, I knew it was going to turn my life upside down and I considered running away to Portland or Seattle to avoid it. But then I figured I'd just fall in love with somebody out there anyway, so I might as well go with what I had and at least not have to move across the country.

Anyway, this was a good book. If I'm seeing what's happening correctly, it looks like it was self-published but then got picked up by Amazon's publishing house. If so, congratulations to the author! And please keep writing more more more! :)
]]> 61884987 Love isn’t blind, it’s just a little blurry.

Sadie Montgomery never saw what was coming . . . Literally! One minute she’s celebrating the biggest achievement of her life—placing as a finalist in the North American Portrait Society competition—the next, she’s lying in a hospital bed diagnosed with a “probably temporary�� condition known as face blindness. She can see, but every face she looks at is now a jumbled puzzle of disconnected features. Imagine trying to read a book upside down and in another language. This is Sadie’s new reality with every face she sees.

But, as she struggles to cope, hang on to her artistic dream, work through major family issues, and take care of her beloved dog, Peanut, she falls into—love? Lust? A temporary obsession to distract from the real problems in her life?—with not one man but two very different ones. The timing couldn’t be worse.

If only her life were a little more in focus, Sadie might be able to find her way. But perceiving anything clearly right now seems impossible. Even though there are things we can only find when we aren’t looking. And there are people who show up when we least expect them. And there are always, always other ways of seeing.]]> 323 Katherine Center 1250283787 Cara 5 fun-or-frivolity
I have the life-long type of face-blindness, and I never knew it was a thing until a friend who’s really good with faces called it that. I thought I just impractically recognized people by their hair and the way they walk because I’m a ridiculous person, but faces really don’t make sense for me. They don’t stick. And then I’m always afraid people will think I don’t care about them or I’m snobby and stuck up�� because people have accused me of both.

Online dating was a nightmare because good luck trying to recognize someone from a few pictures on an online dating profile that probably aren’t current and all look like different people anyway.

Being a professor? Also terrible. I mostly returned people’s papers based on where they sat. And their hair.

Hell, even meeting longtime friends in a restaurant, I’m always terrified I won’t recognize them and it will be humiliating and terrible. This has never actually happened, but I’m always afraid it will.

But worst of all was being about to walk into my very-recent-ex-boyfriend’s funeral service and suddenly realizing I wouldn’t have him by my side to whisper in my ear who everyone was.

For that reason, this book was an unexpectedly emotional read for me. I cried most of the way through it.

I also didn’t expect it to make me think so much about perception and seeing people for who they really are. Today’s passage in A Course in Miracles was all about the same thing—especially seeing people as the present self in front of you, not who they have been in the past—so this book was a remarkable tie-in.
]]> 3.92 2023
author: Katherine Center
name: Cara
average rating: 3.92
book published: 2023
rating: 5
read at: 2024/12/22
date added: 2024/12/22
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
Holy shit! I was expecting a typical fluffy romance novel, but I feel like I did at the end of Fight Club, needing to go back and read it again.

I have the life-long type of face-blindness, and I never knew it was a thing until a friend who’s really good with faces called it that. I thought I just impractically recognized people by their hair and the way they walk because I’m a ridiculous person, but faces really don’t make sense for me. They don’t stick. And then I’m always afraid people will think I don’t care about them or I’m snobby and stuck up�� because people have accused me of both.

Online dating was a nightmare because good luck trying to recognize someone from a few pictures on an online dating profile that probably aren’t current and all look like different people anyway.

Being a professor? Also terrible. I mostly returned people’s papers based on where they sat. And their hair.

Hell, even meeting longtime friends in a restaurant, I’m always terrified I won’t recognize them and it will be humiliating and terrible. This has never actually happened, but I’m always afraid it will.

But worst of all was being about to walk into my very-recent-ex-boyfriend’s funeral service and suddenly realizing I wouldn’t have him by my side to whisper in my ear who everyone was.

For that reason, this book was an unexpectedly emotional read for me. I cried most of the way through it.

I also didn’t expect it to make me think so much about perception and seeing people for who they really are. Today’s passage in A Course in Miracles was all about the same thing—especially seeing people as the present self in front of you, not who they have been in the past—so this book was a remarkable tie-in.

]]> 39288586 Debt, Dating, and a Dead body...What's a girl to do?

Twenty-five-year-old rookie Repo Agent, Andrea Sloan, doesn’t like accepting help from anyone �� especially not arrogant musicians who are too charming for their own good. Even though she swore off men years ago, Andi finds herself drawn to handsome rockstar, Cooper Barnett, as he continually pops up in her life when she least expects it.

Their budding relationship becomes even more complicated when Cooper talks Andi into letting him ride-along on one of her repos, and they come across a very naked, very dead body. Being charged with murder and spending a night in jail is bad enough, but when the police don’t seem to be making any headway on finding the real killer, Andi begins to do her own investigation �� much to the frustration of the homicide detective in charge.

The closer she gets to discovering the killer, the more her own life is in danger. Time is running out. Andi must figure out who the killer is before she goes to prison for a crime she didn’t commit or, worse, becomes the next dead body.]]> 272 Jane Fenton 1732116504 Cara 0 4.28 2018
author: Jane Fenton
name: Cara
average rating: 4.28
book published: 2018
rating: 0
read at: 2024/12/20
date added: 2024/12/21
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
Lots of madcap adventures with this clutzy, quirky heroine and her cheez doodles. And her total lack of common sense.
]]> 60814569
That’s Adaline Wilder for me.

Nothing came before football. Not in college, and not in my five years in the pros. All I wanted was to win games, win a championship, carve my own path out of the illustrious Ward family football legacy. And I’ve done all that. But something is missing.

I’ve never been wrong about what I want. Except with her.

She moved on to someone else, but that baseball playing moron just broke her heart. I don’t blame her for not trusting me, but even Adaline can’t deny the heat when we’re together.

I have one shot at winning her back. And I intend to take it.]]> 302 Karla Sorensen Cara 3
Also, their one-time sex thing? Took place at her parents�� house with multiple siblings outside in the yard, and the parents went out for the evening to give these two the time and space to do it.

That’s just weird.

��

Finally finished this book. By 75%, nothing at all had happened except two sex incidents and a whole lot of whining. I usually like this author, but this book was downright boring. ]]> 4.21 2022
author: Karla Sorensen
name: Cara
average rating: 4.21
book published: 2022
rating: 3
read at: 2024/12/20
date added: 2024/12/20
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
What do you get when two derpy dipshits have crushes on each other for years and then decide to sleep together for just one night before they go back to living on opposite coasts? A whole lot of pining and whining.

Also, their one-time sex thing? Took place at her parents�� house with multiple siblings outside in the yard, and the parents went out for the evening to give these two the time and space to do it.

That’s just weird.

��

Finally finished this book. By 75%, nothing at all had happened except two sex incidents and a whole lot of whining. I usually like this author, but this book was downright boring.
]]> 58552990
Dirígete a la parte superior de la pantalla y selecciona el botón de comprar ahora .]]> 42 Thibaut Meurisse Cara 3 kindle-unlimited, life 4.15 2021
author: Thibaut Meurisse
name: Cara
average rating: 4.15
book published: 2021
rating: 3
read at: 2024/12/19
date added: 2024/12/20
shelves: kindle-unlimited, life
review:
Nothing new here, just basic stuff with no added insight or perspective. If you’re stuck in a procrastination loop, I recommend The Now Habit rather than this book. It’s a lot better.
]]> 105733131
Over the past twenty-five years, the directors of The Moth have worked with people from all walks of life—including astronauts, hairdressers, rock stars, a retired pickpocket, high school students, and Nobel Prize winners—to develop true personal stories that have moved and delighted live audiences and listeners of The Moth’s Peabody Award–winning radio hour and podcast. A leader in the modern storytelling movement, The Moth inspires thousands of people around the globe to share their stories each year.

Now, with How to Tell a Story, The Moth will help you learn how to uncover and craft your own unique stories, like Moth storytellers Mike Birbiglia, Rosanne Cash, Neil Gaiman, Elizabeth Gilbert, Padma Lakshmi, Darryl “DMC�� McDaniels, Hasan Minhaj, Tig Notaro, Boots Riley, Betty Reid Soskin, John Turturro, and more.

Whether your goal is to make it to the Moth stage, deliver the perfect wedding toast, wow clients at a business dinner, give a moving eulogy, ace a job interview, be a hit at parties, change the world, or simply connect more deeply to those around you, stories are essential. Sharing secrets of The Moth’s time-honed process and using examples from beloved storytellers, a team of Moth directors will show you how to

�� mine your memories for your best stories
�� explore structures that will boost the impact of your story
�� deliver your stories with confidence
�� tailor your stories for any occasion

Filled with empowering, easy-to-follow tips for crafting stories that forge lasting bonds with friends, family, and colleagues alike, this book will help you connect authentically with the world around you and unleash the power of story in your life.]]> 352 Meg Bowles 059313902X Cara 0 to-read 4.02 2022
author: Meg Bowles
name: Cara
average rating: 4.02
book published: 2022
rating: 0
read at:
date added: 2024/12/16
shelves: to-read
review:

]]> 146492179
Isabel Frost is a woman who has spent her life as wife, mother, grandmother—a life she feels isn’t all she had hoped for, with a husband who has grown in another direction. A college graduate with a degree in science, Isabel is an amazing gamer, who plays with people all over the country. With the help of her comic-loving grandson and irreverent best friend, she must learn to control her abilities and embrace her new identity as The Change —both the change of life AND her surprising and extraordinary superpowers.]]> 72 Whoopi Goldberg 1506732380 Cara 3 fun-or-frivolity 3.79 2024
author: Whoopi Goldberg
name: Cara
average rating: 3.79
book published: 2024
rating: 3
read at: 2024/12/15
date added: 2024/12/15
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
I like the idea of turning your menopause symptoms into superpowers, but overall, this book just wasn’t my thing. Actually, that’s not quite true. I was having a good time until the book suddenly ended, still in the beginnings of the story. I guess if it was a normal comic, I would have expected that, but this seems like a novelty, one-time-only kind of deal, so it didn’t occur to me that it was just episode one. Very unsatisfying.
]]> 58863815
Especially if he's anything like Erik Wilder: former football player, world class know-it-all and unapologetic grump.

To be clear, I didn't want a bodyguard (hence the fake dating idea). Most days, I can’t figure out why he wants the job either. We drive each other insane, probably because we’re as opposite as two people can be.

He’s suspicious, never talks about his past and has the comfort skills of a cactus. I’m a happily ever after kinda girl who knows exactly what she wants out of life.

Erik’s words might say that the lines have to stay firm between us, but those dark eyes of his? They tell another story when he looks at me.

He’s just as stubborn as I am, but when our fake dating plan starts to feel a lot more real, it's only a matter of time before his professional walls come crashing down.

I just have to hope my heart doesn't get buried in the rubble.]]> 320 Karla Sorensen Cara 4 4.11 2022
author: Karla Sorensen
name: Cara
average rating: 4.11
book published: 2022
rating: 4
read at: 2024/12/11
date added: 2024/12/11
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
I really enjoyed this sweet story. These poor avoidant people with their shelled-in hearts! Even though it doesn’t seem realistic to me, I loved how Lydia basically mastered absolutely everything, including how to handle this guy and his issues. And throwing a perfect pass. The dude’s kind of a lunk, but I want to marry her!
]]> 199204742
It’s been over a decade since I’ve seen him, but when I return to my hometown after years away, Ian’s exactly the man I remembered. The same guy who gave me his coat on a playground when we were kids and promised he’d take care of me forever. I need a quiet place to work with this deadline looming. I need a place where my daughter can unwind. Enter Ian with an offer I can’t refuse: his spare bedroom.

It’s an easy yes. Except now the problem is I can’t stop thinking about him, and these thoughts? They’re wandering out of the friend zone. I keep imagining very creative ways to rip off his clothes. And Ian starts giving me looks of his own, the kind that make my heart race.

One night, we cross a line we can’t uncross. The lines have blurred, and our friendship is hanging by a thread.

Imagine this: a woman falling for her best friend. And she has no idea if he feels the same.]]> 394 Karla Sorensen Cara 4
It’s funny how so many romance novels are the stories of avoidant people longing for love, falling in love, and then running away because they’re terrified of love. But I’ll take that over real problems. ]]> 4.30 2024
author: Karla Sorensen
name: Cara
average rating: 4.30
book published: 2024
rating: 4
read at: 2024/12/08
date added: 2024/12/08
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
Sweet story. I enjoyed it.

It’s funny how so many romance novels are the stories of avoidant people longing for love, falling in love, and then running away because they’re terrified of love. But I’ll take that over real problems.
]]> 195468056
Years of etiquette lessons went out the window thanks to Cameron Wilder, who managed to unleash my hidden bad girl with naught but his talented mouth and deliciously rough hands.

Afterwards, he went back to his small-town life, and I marched home to inform my dad there would be no business-centric nuptials. As punishment, he shipped me off to Sisters, Oregon and demanded I turn a healthy profit on a not-so-healthy property.

You see where I’m going with this—the buttoned-up city girl stuck in a small town hires a local builder to help her �� and he’s the hot stranger from the elevator. Turns out, I have a weakness for the broad-shouldered nice guy who’s not so nice behind closed doors. Keeping things professional gets harder the longer I’m in town, until the only lesson I have left to learn is how to keep both our hearts from getting broken.]]> 378 Karla Sorensen Cara 4
I knew Tim wasn’t long for this world, and I appreciate the way the author handled that. The grief was real but it didn’t turn the book into a sad book. That’s a really delicate balance to achieve. I’m impressed. Normally I’d be mad about anyone dying in a romance novel, but I don’t feel like the author broke the agreement here. Which is amazing given how much I came to love Tim in these two books. Seriously, kudos. ]]> 4.39 2024
author: Karla Sorensen
name: Cara
average rating: 4.39
book published: 2024
rating: 4
read at: 2024/11/28
date added: 2024/11/28
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
Such a sweet story. At first I was a little impatient with Ivy’s stick so far up her butt, but once the kitten showed up, I was a goner. I’d read this one again.

I knew Tim wasn’t long for this world, and I appreciate the way the author handled that. The grief was real but it didn’t turn the book into a sad book. That’s a really delicate balance to achieve. I’m impressed. Normally I’d be mad about anyone dying in a romance novel, but I don’t feel like the author broke the agreement here. Which is amazing given how much I came to love Tim in these two books. Seriously, kudos.
]]> 58503121 Reclaim your focus in 48 hours or less.

Do you keep procrastinating? Do you feel restless and unable to focus on your work? Do you have trouble getting excited about major goals?

If so, you might need a dopamine detox.

In today’s world where distractions are everywhere, the ability to focus has become more and more difficult to achieve. We are constantly being stimulated, feeling restless, often without knowing why.

When the time comes to work, we suddenly find an excess of other things to do. Instead of working toward our goals, we go for a walk, grab a coffee, or check our emails. Everything seems like a great idea—everything except the very things we should be doing.

Do you recognize yourself in the above situation?

If so, don’t worry. You’re simply overstimulated.

Dopamine Detox will help you lower your level of stimulation and regain focus in 48 hours or less, so that you can tackle your key tasks.

More specifically, in Dopamine Detox you’ll discover:

�� what dopamine is and how it works
�� the main benefits of completing a dopamine detox
�� 3 simple steps to implement a successful detox in the next 48 hours
�� practical exercises to eliminate distractions and boost your focus
�� simple tools and techniques to avoid overstimulation and help you stay focused, and much more.

Dopamine Detox is your must-read, must-follow guide to help you remove distractions so you can finally work on your goals with ease. If you like easy-to-understand strategies, practical exercises, and no-nonsense teaching, you will love this book.]]> 62 Thibaut Meurisse Cara 4 brainssss, kindle-unlimited
Another thing I found interesting is that exercise is on his list to stop during your dopamine detox. I guess for people who are in shape enough to enjoy exercise? Whatever, he doesn’t consider walking or stretching to be yoga, so according to him, I never exercise anyway. I won’t miss it.

I don’t do most of the things on the list, but phone, music, and internet sound hard to go without for 48 hours. But it also sounds great, except for no music.

In short, I think it’s a good idea and I should do it, but I’m not totally committed so far.
]]> 3.94 2021
author: Thibaut Meurisse
name: Cara
average rating: 3.94
book published: 2021
rating: 4
read at: 2024/11/26
date added: 2024/11/26
shelves: brainssss, kindle-unlimited
review:
Quick, easy read. I already knew most of this, but he clarified why it’s so hard to stop reading or watching just one more YouTube video or scrolling through Facebook. The dopamine is in the anticipation of the next reward, and it always makes us want more. Also, when you get these dopamine hits, you get too stimulated to be able to work. It’s a whole different frequency.

Another thing I found interesting is that exercise is on his list to stop during your dopamine detox. I guess for people who are in shape enough to enjoy exercise? Whatever, he doesn’t consider walking or stretching to be yoga, so according to him, I never exercise anyway. I won’t miss it.

I don’t do most of the things on the list, but phone, music, and internet sound hard to go without for 48 hours. But it also sounds great, except for no music.

In short, I think it’s a good idea and I should do it, but I’m not totally committed so far.

]]> 123024203
Marrying Beckett Coleman is the best idea I've had in years. I can grant my sick dad’s wish to walk one of his daughters down the aisle, and Beckett has my help solving a custody situation with his daughter. Our plan is to spend a year together, then part ways. Easy, especially since I'm not his type, and he's not mine either.

He’s too quiet and too serious. And while he’s distractingly gorgeous, he’s also my brother’s teammate. Beckett is fake husband material, not the real deal. I just have to remember that.

Until I move in with him. Get to know him. Share a bed with him. Turns out, the line between fake and real isn't just blurry, it's almost impossible to uphold when he looks at me the way he does.

This marriage is a whole lot more complicated than we bargained for. We’re threatening to destroy everything we’ve built, something neither of us can risk.

Marrying Beckett might’ve been the best idea in years. But falling in love with him would be the worst.]]> 341 Karla Sorensen Cara 4 4.11 2023
author: Karla Sorensen
name: Cara
average rating: 4.11
book published: 2023
rating: 4
read at: 2024/11/25
date added: 2024/11/26
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
The premise of this book is ridiculous, but it was a sweet story. I really enjoyed watching the two main characters get to know each other and fall in love. I was surprised to find that I adored Beckett’s daughter and her interactions with Greer. Normally I’m like “blah, a kid,�� but this one was charming. I liked this book a lot.
]]> 57631709 Roar, renowned exercise and nutrition scientist Dr. Stacy Sims

For active women, menopause hits hard. Overnight, your body doesn’t feel like the one you know and love anymore—you’re battling new symptoms, might be gaining weight, losing endurance and strength, and taking longer to bounce back from workouts that used to be easy. The things that have always kept you fit and healthy just seem to stop working the way they used to.

But menopause doesn’t have to be the end of you kicking ass at the gym, on the trail, in the saddle, or wherever you work out. Once you understand your physiology, you can work with it—not against it—to optimize your performance. That’s where Stacy Sims, PhD comes in. In Next Level, you’ll learn the underlying causes of menopause: the hormonal changes that are causing all the symptoms you’re feeling, and their impact on your wellness and performance. Then, what you really came for—what to do about it. Inside you’ll find science-backed advice about training, nutrition, sleep and recovery and supplements, as well as sample exercise routines, meal plans, macronutrient planning charts, and case studies from real women Stacy has coached through the transition. It’s the ultimate guide to navigating the Next Level.]]> 309 Stacy T. Sims 0593233158 Cara 0 P. 92 lifting heavy shit
Start with 2-3 sets of 8-15 reps to build muscle endurance. Do for 4-6 weeks.
Then heavier weight, 5 sets of 5 reps.
Then 4-6 sets of 3-5 reps

P. 100 life heavy shit on big lifts where load is spread over multiple muscle groups, not on everything. Ex. Squat, deadlift, bench press

Had to go back to the library. Left off p. 108.

]]> 4.21
author: Stacy T. Sims
name: Cara
average rating: 4.21
book published:
rating: 0
read at:
date added: 2024/11/26
shelves: health, to-read, returning-unfinished
review:
Notes
P. 92 lifting heavy shit
Start with 2-3 sets of 8-15 reps to build muscle endurance. Do for 4-6 weeks.
Then heavier weight, 5 sets of 5 reps.
Then 4-6 sets of 3-5 reps

P. 100 life heavy shit on big lifts where load is spread over multiple muscle groups, not on everything. Ex. Squat, deadlift, bench press

Had to go back to the library. Left off p. 108.


]]> 208662056
Thanks to an overprotective family, he’s ignored me for years, but still, I can’t get his grumpy a** out of my head. And in a wine-fueled, post-bad date funk, I make another terrible decision: show up at his cabin to ask why he’s never given me a chance.

The storm that got me stuck there overnight was a total fluke, but I’m no fool. While Jax is perfectly clear about not wanting a family or love or any of the happily-ever-afters I’ve dreamed of, what’s the harm in asking for just one night? The worst thing he can say is no.

He doesn’t though, and I was saying yes, yes, yes a whole lot after that.

Best. Decision. Ever.

One night is enough to feel like I can move on, and we agree to let it be a secret kept safe between us.
But you know what makes it hard to keep a one-night secret about my not-so-secret crush?

A positive pregnancy test.

Oh baby, things are about to get interesting.]]> 404 Karla Sorensen Cara 4
This book gave me a lot of feels. I’d like to see the main characters spend more time actually getting to know each other, but watching the love overtake the fear was sweet enough to make up for any shortcomings. I normally hate babies, pregnancy, and especially birth scenes, but even that, the author made beautiful. Kudos. ]]> 4.37 2024
author: Karla Sorensen
name: Cara
average rating: 4.37
book published: 2024
rating: 4
read at: 2024/11/24
date added: 2024/11/24
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
Much better writing than I’m used to from romance novels, and I really appreciate that the author didn’t throw in a third-act breakup to ruin everything.

This book gave me a lot of feels. I’d like to see the main characters spend more time actually getting to know each other, but watching the love overtake the fear was sweet enough to make up for any shortcomings. I normally hate babies, pregnancy, and especially birth scenes, but even that, the author made beautiful. Kudos.
]]> 122756059 That’s right. She’s stunning and the worst bartender I’ve ever seen.
I should have gone home and gone to sleep—dream girl or not. I had an early morning and the season was starting soon. But when she threatened me with boy band karaoke I couldn't help myself. I went. The stars aligned.
I have never felt more alive or wanted anyone more than I want her.
When it’s time for me to head on my annual pre-season boys trip, I barely let her go.
It’s been a week and I can’t stop thinking about her.
Except there she is. Right here at the Wildcat’s kickoff party.
And as luck would have it, my dream girl is the coach’s youngest daughter.
But everyone knows the coach’s daughter is off limits. Right?
Wildcat is a full-length sports romance with a hot-as-puck hero, the coach’s daughter, and an unfortunate case of mistaken identity.

The Wildcats are the youngest team in the NHL. On the ice, they’re cocky, determined, and ready to take the league by storm. Off the ice? They’re always up for a wild time.]]> 388 Rebecca Jenshak Cara 4 3.92
author: Rebecca Jenshak
name: Cara
average rating: 3.92
book published:
rating: 4
read at: 2024/11/03
date added: 2024/11/20
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
Sweet story. I had stopped reading books by this author but this book changed my mind.
]]> 212624008 He won't admit that, of course. But with his teammate's gone for the summer and him fresh off a season-ending injury, someone has to keep him in check and it's not the nurses he keeps running off.
I'm having one last summer of fun before I move away to start my first grown-up job, and I seem to be the only woman on the planet immune to his charm. Sure, l've noticed his chiseled jaw and sculpted muscles (Did I mention he's annoyingly handsome?), but I have too much self-preservation to fall for a grumpy hockey star who can have any woman he wants and doesn't do serious relationships.
Except once he lets me help him, I see past his broody exterior and jerk comments and I realize something terrible. I want him.
Now I just need to convince him to throw out all his rules for a fling with his teammate's little sister.]]> 456 Rebecca Jenshak 1951815750 Cara 3
Just too much strife, and Jack never really felt like a whole person to me, just kind of a one-dimensional shell who takes care of everyone and is hot. Woo.

I did like the cameo mention of the characters from Burnout [spoilers removed]. That was cute. ]]> 4.28
author: Rebecca Jenshak
name: Cara
average rating: 4.28
book published:
rating: 3
read at: 2024/11/19
date added: 2024/11/19
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
Too much squabbling and brattiness for my taste. And control issues. Most of the book, they’re not even together. Lots of tedium while Jack tried to talk himself out of being into her. The third act breakup happens super early.

Just too much strife, and Jack never really felt like a whole person to me, just kind of a one-dimensional shell who takes care of everyone and is hot. Woo.

I did like the cameo mention of the characters from Burnout [spoilers removed]. That was cute.
]]> 122770203
The first time I met Ash Kelly, he stripped off his jersey and gave it to a little girl in the crowd, charming an arena full of fans in the process. Then he tossed me a puck and asked for my number. I was with my jerk ex-boyfriend, who was less than impressed with the whole thing.

The second time he crashes into my life it’s as my patient. There’s no way he should remember me, but he does. Being Ash’s nurse is torture. He’s stubborn and frustrating, and he won’t stop flirting with me now that he knows I’m single. He’s even recruited the entire hospital to help him win me over. And it’s working.

The more time I spend taking care of him, the more he breaks down my defenses. He’s kind and considerate, and he makes my heart race.

But I’ve sworn off dating and getting involved with a charming, handsome hockey player like Ash feels like a terrible idea. We go our separate ways again, despite our undeniable connection.

I should have known it wouldn’t be the last time. For some reason, the universe keeps throwing us together.

I’m finally ready to give him a chance, but there’s one little problem. My ex-boyfriend just got a new job as the assistant GM of the Wildcats. And the only thing he wants more than me is to screw over the man I’m falling for.

In Your Wildest Dreams is a hockey romance with a cocky, cinnamon roll hero, spice, banter, and a happily ever after. It's the fourth book in the Wildcat Hockey series and can be enjoyed as a standalone.]]> 402 Rebecca Jenshak 1951815475 Cara 4 3.96 2023
author: Rebecca Jenshak
name: Cara
average rating: 3.96
book published: 2023
rating: 4
read at: 2024/11/15
date added: 2024/11/19
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
It’s only been a few days and I barely remember anything about this book. But I think I liked it.
]]> 75457313 An opposites attract, marriage of convenience, hockey romance from USA Today bestselling author Rebecca Jenshak.

I’m going to marry her.
Are we dating? No.
Was she engaged to someone else yesterday? Yes.
It’s not real. It’s to save her job after her fiancé dumped her days before their wedding.
But it’s good press for me, which my agent will love.
I just signed a seven-year contract with the Wildcats, maybe my final one, and I have to start thinking about life after hockey.
Did I mention she’s my coach’s daughter’s best friend?
She’s driven, fun, and the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
Too bad I’m not supposed to fall for my wife.]]> 392 Rebecca Jenshak 1951815467 Cara 4
But I did enjoy the interactions between these two, at least when Jade wasn’t being all avoidant attachment style. Maybe even disordered. (If I didn’t know about that, I’d just think she was childish, selfish, full of drama, and annoying.)

It’s too bad they never really got to the point where they became partners. I kinda expected them to spend a ton of time getting to know each other by painting walls together or something. That seems like a missed opportunity. And turkey bacon? WTF, Jade?

Basically, he loves giving her things, taking care of her, and making her smile. She loves�� um�� herself, her writing, her projects�� oh yeah, and sex! ]]> 3.84
author: Rebecca Jenshak
name: Cara
average rating: 3.84
book published:
rating: 4
read at: 2024/11/12
date added: 2024/11/13
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
Such a stupid premise, when you have Tyler and Piper already engaged from the last book, plus aren’t Scarlett and Leo engaged, too? Have one or both of those couples get married for the big wedding feature.

But I did enjoy the interactions between these two, at least when Jade wasn’t being all avoidant attachment style. Maybe even disordered. (If I didn’t know about that, I’d just think she was childish, selfish, full of drama, and annoying.)

It’s too bad they never really got to the point where they became partners. I kinda expected them to spend a ton of time getting to know each other by painting walls together or something. That seems like a missed opportunity. And turkey bacon? WTF, Jade?

Basically, he loves giving her things, taking care of her, and making her smile. She loves�� um�� herself, her writing, her projects�� oh yeah, and sex!
]]> 61316329 363 Rebecca Jenshak 1951815343 Cara 3
Super dislike “you’re mine and so is your pussy,�� as well as all the failure to communicate and making unilateral decisions on each other’s behalf. Also, [spoilers removed] That’s fucked up. ]]> 3.85 2022
author: Rebecca Jenshak
name: Cara
average rating: 3.85
book published: 2022
rating: 3
read at: 2024/11/12
date added: 2024/11/12
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
A little dysfunctional but I have to remind myself it’s just pretend.

Super dislike “you’re mine and so is your pussy,�� as well as all the failure to communicate and making unilateral decisions on each other’s behalf. Also, [spoilers removed] That’s fucked up.
]]> 192723842 Just when she thought she’d gotten far enough away . . . a life-changing phone call throws an antisocial scientist back into her least favorite place—the spotlight. A hilarious and insightful new novel from the USA Today bestselling author of The Bookish Life of Nina Hill.

After a tumultuous childhood, Christa Liddle has hidden away, both figuratively and literally. Happily studying sea snails in the middle of the Indian Ocean, Christa finds her tranquil existence thrown into chaos when her once-famous father—long thought dead after a plane crash—turns out to be alive, well, and ready to make amends. The world goes wild, fascinated by this real-life saga, pinning Christa and her family under the spotlight. As if that weren’t enough, her reunion with an old childhood friend reveals an intense physical attraction neither was expecting and both want to act on . . . if they can just keep a lid on it. When her father’s story starts to develop cracks, Christa fears she will lose herself, her potential relationship, and—most importantly—any chance of making it back to her snails before they forget her completely.]]> 379 Abbi Waxman 0593198786 Cara 3 fun-or-frivolity
What I have a real problem with is how lacking in volition she is. She’s somehow managed to earn a PhD without ever developing agency in her own life. You know, they don’t just hand those things out. You have to earn them, and I don’t think a tiny child in a 28-year-old’s body could have done that. Even though she’s really smart.

Also, I think it’s weird that Nate thinks she’s such a fighter, when all she does is go along with everyone and do everything they say, until finally at the end of the book she starts directing her own life.

I really enjoyed the bear cub scene, though. And Jordan, the agent’s assistant. I’d vote for him for king of the world.

��

Favorite bits:
P. 147
“As we turned to face the closing doors, a random photographer broke through security and started sprinting across the lobby, chased by at least two guards. Jordan calmly watched him approach and then, as the photographer tried to hold the closing doors, pulled a fork from his pocket, leaned forward and pronged the poor guy repeatedly in the thumb until he let go and the doors bumped shut, cutting off his cries of pain and, let’s face it, surprise. No one expects to get forked before ten in the morning.��
Lolol

P. 272
Her tattoos:
“The hagfish might be a long tube with a mouth on one end, but if you grab it, it exudes an incredibly fibrous slime that will completely immobilize you and then, while you’re floundering around unable to breathe or see, it will tie itself into a knot, clear itself of its own slime and disappear.��

“That’s a stonefish. The most venomous fish in the ocean. Step on one of these guys and you may or may not live to regret it.��

“…that one there is a cone snail. They’re also pretty badass. They have a harpoon-like tooth that injects a powerful neurotoxin.��
“He laughed. ‘At least that one’s pretty.’��
“‘Sure.�� I straightened up. ‘But pretty is as pretty does, right? And if you’re a little fish, pottering around, minding your own business ,it’s not something you want to catch sight of.’”]]> 3.53 2024
author: Abbi Waxman
name: Cara
average rating: 3.53
book published: 2024
rating: 3
read at: 2024/10/25
date added: 2024/11/09
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
Parts of this book made me laugh out loud, and I liked the romance, but most of the characters were unlikable. I have mixed feelings about the main character’s constant spouting of science stuff, but I guess she’s on the spectrum, so fine.

What I have a real problem with is how lacking in volition she is. She’s somehow managed to earn a PhD without ever developing agency in her own life. You know, they don’t just hand those things out. You have to earn them, and I don’t think a tiny child in a 28-year-old’s body could have done that. Even though she’s really smart.

Also, I think it’s weird that Nate thinks she’s such a fighter, when all she does is go along with everyone and do everything they say, until finally at the end of the book she starts directing her own life.

I really enjoyed the bear cub scene, though. And Jordan, the agent’s assistant. I’d vote for him for king of the world.

��

Favorite bits:
P. 147
“As we turned to face the closing doors, a random photographer broke through security and started sprinting across the lobby, chased by at least two guards. Jordan calmly watched him approach and then, as the photographer tried to hold the closing doors, pulled a fork from his pocket, leaned forward and pronged the poor guy repeatedly in the thumb until he let go and the doors bumped shut, cutting off his cries of pain and, let’s face it, surprise. No one expects to get forked before ten in the morning.��
Lolol

P. 272
Her tattoos:
“The hagfish might be a long tube with a mouth on one end, but if you grab it, it exudes an incredibly fibrous slime that will completely immobilize you and then, while you’re floundering around unable to breathe or see, it will tie itself into a knot, clear itself of its own slime and disappear.��

“That’s a stonefish. The most venomous fish in the ocean. Step on one of these guys and you may or may not live to regret it.��

“…that one there is a cone snail. They’re also pretty badass. They have a harpoon-like tooth that injects a powerful neurotoxin.��
“He laughed. ‘At least that one’s pretty.’��
“‘Sure.�� I straightened up. ‘But pretty is as pretty does, right? And if you’re a little fish, pottering around, minding your own business ,it’s not something you want to catch sight of.’��
]]> 217499269 Romantic comedy writer Amber Page is stuck in a rut.

After her editor tells her she needs to "up the spice" in her books (literally Amber's worst nightmare...), she is at a crossroads with what to do with her career.

When the opportunity arises to go on a writer's retreat at an exclusive château in the beautiful French Alps Amber reluctantly agrees, hoping a change of scenery will help with inspiration.

But while she tries and fails to spice up her writing - with the unhelpful guidance of the eccentric romance writers at the château - she meets two leading men who cause her own real-life romantic comedy to unfold...

A laugh-out-loud love triangle, forced proximity romantic comedy from million-copy bestseller Portia MacIntosh.

Praise for Portia

'Smart, funny and always brilliantly entertaining, every book from Portia becomes my new favourite rom com.' Shari Low

'I laughed, I cried - I loved it.�� Holly Martin

'The queen of rom com!' Rebecca Raisin

‘This book made me laugh and kept me turning the pages.' Mandy Baggot

'A fun, fabulous 5 star rom com!' Sandy Barker

'Loved the book, it's everything you expect from the force that is Portia! A must read' Rachel Dove

'Fun and witty. Pure escapism!' Laura Carter

'A heartwarming, fun story, perfect for several hours of pure escapism.' Jessica Redland]]> 305 Portia MacIntosh 1804267279 Cara 2
...
I'm starting to feel like this author had only written 50k words, needed 75k, and instead of writing sex scenes to fill in the rest, she just wrote a ton of ruminating, whining (seriously, this chick probably spent at least 15% of the book just whining about how hard it is to travel. Boo hoo hoo!), and endless descriptions. The snow, the food, the chateau, the other authors... how it feels cold to go outside when it's cold out but warm to come inside when it's cold out! Stahp!

Oh, and the birdbrain forgot her toothbrush because she apparently doesn't own a travel toothbrush. So then she asks the other authors if anyone brought an extra toothbrush with them on vacation that they can give her, because we all totally bring all of our extra unneeded toothbrushes with us on vacation. I just want to shake her. A toothbrush is, what, $2? Get your shit together!

��
I ended up finishing this after all. It got somewhat better once she got to the resort. Good enough to keep me moderately entertained while waiting in line to vote anyway. ]]> 4.00 2024
author: Portia MacIntosh
name: Cara
average rating: 4.00
book published: 2024
rating: 2
read at: 2024/11/05
date added: 2024/11/05
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
This chick is so dumb and annoying. I may DNF. At 26%, nothing has happened and she’s getting on my nerves. The book is written in first person, so we’re basically stuck inside her head with her and all her boring, stupid, whiny thoughts and her totally dumb decisions. Blah.

...
I'm starting to feel like this author had only written 50k words, needed 75k, and instead of writing sex scenes to fill in the rest, she just wrote a ton of ruminating, whining (seriously, this chick probably spent at least 15% of the book just whining about how hard it is to travel. Boo hoo hoo!), and endless descriptions. The snow, the food, the chateau, the other authors... how it feels cold to go outside when it's cold out but warm to come inside when it's cold out! Stahp!

Oh, and the birdbrain forgot her toothbrush because she apparently doesn't own a travel toothbrush. So then she asks the other authors if anyone brought an extra toothbrush with them on vacation that they can give her, because we all totally bring all of our extra unneeded toothbrushes with us on vacation. I just want to shake her. A toothbrush is, what, $2? Get your shit together!

��
I ended up finishing this after all. It got somewhat better once she got to the resort. Good enough to keep me moderately entertained while waiting in line to vote anyway.
]]> 53121672
Max already expects some of the raucous behavior of his new, American friends—like their insatiable hunger for the fried and cheesy, and their locker room talk about girls. But he doesn’t expect the comradery—or how quickly he would be welcomed into their world of basement beer drinking. In his new canvas pants and thickening muscles, Max feels like he’s “playing dress-up.�� That is until he meets Pan, the school “witch,�� in Physics class: “Pan in his all black. Pan with his goth choker and the gel that made his hair go straight up.�� Suddenly, Max feels seen, and the pair embarks on a consuming relationship: Max tells Pan about his supernatural powers, and Pan tells Max about the snake poison initiations of the local church. The boys, however, aren’t sure whose past is darker, and what is more frightening—their true selves, or staying true in Alabama.

Writing in verdant and visceral prose that builds to a shocking conclusion, Genevieve Hudson “brilliantly reinvents the Southern Gothic, mapping queer love in a land where God, guns, and football are king�� (Leni Zumas, author of Red Clocks). Boys of Alabama becomes a nuanced portrait of masculinity, religion, immigration, and the adolescent pressures that require total conformity.]]> 285 Genevieve Hudson 1631496298 Cara 3 fun-or-frivolity
1. What, you’re too good to use basic punctuation? Without it, now the book is fancy or art or something? So annoying!

2. I don’t think this even really qualifies as a French ending. It just feels sudden and lazy like the author didn’t really know where to go with the story and it was time for dinner, so she just said “fuck it�� and slapped on “The End.��

The theme of this book seems to be that The South is just like the Nazis, except without the remorse or even acknowledgement of wrong. (The history of violence, persecution, and mass casualties based on prejudice)

As someone who lives in Alabama, I have to say the author has a point there.

Also, even just moving here from other parts of the US, it feels like a strange, foreign country. It was interesting to see that magnified through the eyes of someone who was actually from another country.

I was surprised the football boys accepted Max as much as they did. I kept expecting things to be so much worse.

Don’t get me wrong [spoilers removed] is pretty damn bad. But even with all that, somehow Max never got cast out of the inner circle—except by the one person he wanted most, who was an outsider. And staying in the inner circle seemed like it was enough to make up for the bad stuff, as far as Max was concerned. That seems hard to swallow as an adult, but the need to belong is so strong for a teen. Even a lot of adults, I feel like they end up falling for similar stuff and staying sheep, much like Max did.

And then there’s the thing with Max’s powers, which suddenly disappear??? I feel like there’s some message or connection I was supposed to get from that, but whatever it was, I missed it. Was it the poison? Being baptized? Deciding not to have the powers anymore after he healed the fish and set off to lie? (And what was the lie, pretending to become a Christian to fit in? Lying to his mom that camp would be fine?)

So, juxtapositions from the book include:
- Nazis vs. The South
- insiders vs. outsiders
- Pan the phony witch with no powers vs. Max the phony normal kid with hidden powers
- Max raising plants and animals from the dead vs. Jesus rising from the dead
- being raped while mostly unconscious vs. being baptized while mostly unconscious

But by the end of the book, they all still feel like floating themes, not anything tied together or resolved in any way.

Also, a lot about what’s going on is unclear because the author sticks with only Max’s perspective. What he doesn’t know or understand, he can’t give to us, so we’re left with a lot of, “huh?��

Overall, I enjoyed Max’s perspective and found it interesting. And I couldn’t put the book down because I couldn’t stand the suspense of waiting to see how it was all going to go bad. But I feel like, in the end, the book didn’t quite come together. The ending was completely unsatisfying, and I was left wondering where the story was trying to go or what message I was supposed to get from it.]]> 3.35 2020
author: Genevieve Hudson
name: Cara
average rating: 3.35
book published: 2020
rating: 3
read at: 2024/10/28
date added: 2024/10/29
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
Two things I hate are books with no quotation marks and French endings.

1. What, you’re too good to use basic punctuation? Without it, now the book is fancy or art or something? So annoying!

2. I don’t think this even really qualifies as a French ending. It just feels sudden and lazy like the author didn’t really know where to go with the story and it was time for dinner, so she just said “fuck it�� and slapped on “The End.��

The theme of this book seems to be that The South is just like the Nazis, except without the remorse or even acknowledgement of wrong. (The history of violence, persecution, and mass casualties based on prejudice)

As someone who lives in Alabama, I have to say the author has a point there.

Also, even just moving here from other parts of the US, it feels like a strange, foreign country. It was interesting to see that magnified through the eyes of someone who was actually from another country.

I was surprised the football boys accepted Max as much as they did. I kept expecting things to be so much worse.

Don’t get me wrong [spoilers removed] is pretty damn bad. But even with all that, somehow Max never got cast out of the inner circle—except by the one person he wanted most, who was an outsider. And staying in the inner circle seemed like it was enough to make up for the bad stuff, as far as Max was concerned. That seems hard to swallow as an adult, but the need to belong is so strong for a teen. Even a lot of adults, I feel like they end up falling for similar stuff and staying sheep, much like Max did.

And then there’s the thing with Max’s powers, which suddenly disappear??? I feel like there’s some message or connection I was supposed to get from that, but whatever it was, I missed it. Was it the poison? Being baptized? Deciding not to have the powers anymore after he healed the fish and set off to lie? (And what was the lie, pretending to become a Christian to fit in? Lying to his mom that camp would be fine?)

So, juxtapositions from the book include:
- Nazis vs. The South
- insiders vs. outsiders
- Pan the phony witch with no powers vs. Max the phony normal kid with hidden powers
- Max raising plants and animals from the dead vs. Jesus rising from the dead
- being raped while mostly unconscious vs. being baptized while mostly unconscious

But by the end of the book, they all still feel like floating themes, not anything tied together or resolved in any way.

Also, a lot about what’s going on is unclear because the author sticks with only Max’s perspective. What he doesn’t know or understand, he can’t give to us, so we’re left with a lot of, “huh?��

Overall, I enjoyed Max’s perspective and found it interesting. And I couldn’t put the book down because I couldn’t stand the suspense of waiting to see how it was all going to go bad. But I feel like, in the end, the book didn’t quite come together. The ending was completely unsatisfying, and I was left wondering where the story was trying to go or what message I was supposed to get from it.
]]> 198137999
Summer 1999: Twentysomething Sawyer is striving to make it in New York. Between her assistant job in publishing, her secret dreams of becoming a writer, and her upcoming wedding to her college boyfriend, her is plate full. Only one problem: She is facing an incredibly lonely summer as her fiancé has been spending longer and longer hours at work . . . with an all-too-close female colleague, Kendra.

When Kendra’s boyfriend, Nick, invites Sawyer to meet up and compare notes about their suspicions, the meeting goes awry. She finds Nick cocky and cynical, and he finds her stuck in her own head. But then Nick seeks out Sawyer online to apologize, and a friendship develops.

Soon, Sawyer’s lonely summer takes an unexpected turn. She and Nick begin an unofficial ritual—exploring New York City together every summer Friday. From hot dogs on the Staten Island Ferry and Sea Breezes in a muggy East Village bar to swimming at Coney Island, Sawyer feels seen by Nick in a way that surprises her. He pushes her to be braver. To ask for what she wants. Meanwhile, Sawyer draws Nick out of his hard shell, revealing a surprisingly vulnerable side. They both begin living for their Friday afternoons together.

But what happens when the summer is over?]]> 432 Suzanne Rindell 0593473914 Cara 3 fun-or-frivolity
I also really enjoyed the developing chemistry between Nick and Sawyer. Their interactions were pure fun for me��

Until Sawyer started cheating on her fiancé.

Look, Charles was not paying attention to her, he was clearly having an affair, and she deserved better. No doubt. But that’s no excuse to start your own affair. Call the guy out and break up with him. THEN start the new relationship. Not the other way around. Nick knew that and did it right, but Sawyer lost all my respect with her namby-pambying around and dishonesty. She was cheating on her fiancé, and she was just too wussy to tell him. I just can’t be on her side if that’s the kind of person she is.

I probably shouldn’t knock off so many stars for this. It’s a well told story about something that actually happens. But the shitty part was so unnecessary. Just do the right thing, people! I know it’s hard, but do it anyway.]]> 3.94 2024
author: Suzanne Rindell
name: Cara
average rating: 3.94
book published: 2024
rating: 3
read at: 2024/10/24
date added: 2024/10/24
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
Man, I love love loved most of this story. I spent the summer of 1996 interning at a magazine in NYC, just three years before this story takes place. I explored a lot of the same places myself that summer. It was so cool to have a taste of that world again.

I also really enjoyed the developing chemistry between Nick and Sawyer. Their interactions were pure fun for me��

Until Sawyer started cheating on her fiancé.

Look, Charles was not paying attention to her, he was clearly having an affair, and she deserved better. No doubt. But that’s no excuse to start your own affair. Call the guy out and break up with him. THEN start the new relationship. Not the other way around. Nick knew that and did it right, but Sawyer lost all my respect with her namby-pambying around and dishonesty. She was cheating on her fiancé, and she was just too wussy to tell him. I just can’t be on her side if that’s the kind of person she is.

I probably shouldn’t knock off so many stars for this. It’s a well told story about something that actually happens. But the shitty part was so unnecessary. Just do the right thing, people! I know it’s hard, but do it anyway.
]]> 30962267
I wasn't surprised. Telling stories is what made me famous. Fifteen bestsellers. Millions of fans. Fame and fortune.

Now, I have one last story to write. It'll be my best one yet, with a jaw-dropping twist that will leave them stunned and gasping for breath.

They say that sticks and stones will break your bones, but this story? It will be the one that kills me.


This book is not a romance. It is contemporary fiction, but very suspenseful in nature. It is about a famous romance author and a dark secret she keeps. ]]> 321 A.R. Torre Cara 5
Some might find Helena unlikable in all her prickly uptightness and unfriendliness, but I found that relatable, even before I knew what caused it.

And the ghostwriter? He was easy to love.

When I finally got to the end and heard what really happened, it was heartbreaking but also a relief to have all the pieces finally fall into place.

It seemed like the audiobook narrator struggled with the accents, but I still enjoyed listening to this book very much.]]> 4.04 2017
author: A.R. Torre
name: Cara
average rating: 4.04
book published: 2017
rating: 5
read at: 2024/10/01
date added: 2024/10/22
shelves: audio, fun-or-frivolity, scribd
review:
This story got me through a night when I couldn’t sleep and could barely breathe, and a few more hazy twilight naps as I recovered from pneumonia. It’s a really good story, and it’s well told.

Some might find Helena unlikable in all her prickly uptightness and unfriendliness, but I found that relatable, even before I knew what caused it.

And the ghostwriter? He was easy to love.

When I finally got to the end and heard what really happened, it was heartbreaking but also a relief to have all the pieces finally fall into place.

It seemed like the audiobook narrator struggled with the accents, but I still enjoyed listening to this book very much.
]]> 199797999
Mayhaven is the best keep secret in Massachusetts. Tucked between old cedars and a spring-fed lake, the Mayhaven beach club has long been the ultimate escape to understated exclusivity. It’s the place where Darcy Birch is supposed to be experiencing the best summer of her life, but there are a few things standing in her way. Her high-strung mother won’t stop hovering over her, her father is consumed by his job as president of Mayhaven, where she works as a summer camp counselor and things are not as rosy as they seem, and her neurodivergent little brother is struggling to live with a measure of independence not everyone is ready for.

Then there is the matter of the new neighbors. Flick Creevy, his mother, and stepfather have arrived in town, parking their enormous RV, not to mention all-night music and clouds of marijuana, in the Birches’s perfectly landscaped backyard.

Flick is not interested in the perfect summer or the girl next door. Pushed to get a job at Mayhaven by his mother, who had her eyes on a new life for their family, his own eyes have been opened to the ways of the upper crust. Even though Mayhaven prides itself on being an inclusive association of good New England families with good New England values, the fact either you’re on the inside or the outside.

As the heat of summer increases, it’s soon clear that the members of Mayhaven will have to struggle to stay cool in this sharply written and refreshing new novel that is perfect for fans of Elin Hilderbrand and Jennifer Weiner.]]> 336 Hannah McKinnon 1668025183 Cara 3 fun-or-frivolity
Darcy’s big secret was pretty obvious from the beginning, but I was still pleased to see it come to light and people rally around her.

But overall, the book felt kind of unbalanced. There’s not a pleasing symmetry to having it told from the perspectives of the dad, the daughter, and the new kid next door. And a lot of loose ends never really get tied up.

Here’s how I thought it would end, besides Darcy’s secret getting resolved. (Not a spoiler, just my theories.) I thought Adam would discover in doing the books that the Delancies were embezzling from the club, plus their son was the one stealing liquor, silverware, and boats. So then they’d get kicked out and have to pay everything back, the club would be saved, Ned’s job would be saved, and Adam would be vindicated.

I guess that would be too on-the-nose, but I’d have been up for it.

Instead, we do find out who stole the silverware and at least some of the liquor, but the boats are left unresolved. Does Darcy stop taking diet pills? Unresolved. Does anyone catch Bitsy stealing the silver? Apparently not. Why the fuck was Flick named Flick? No idea. (Apparently it’s not just a nickname because it was on his job application.) Where does Ned work next? Don’t know. I guess we don’t really need to know all of those things, but I personally would feel more satisfied if we did.

One loose end that I was glad was left loose: after the big fuss made over Ned’s heirloom roses, I was sure somebody was going to destroy them later in the book. But no, they were never mentioned again, so presumably they’re safe. Phew!

I’m also glad Darcy and Ned started playing golf again! But it seems a shame Darcy didn’t get back to playing competitively, since the gropey golf pro seemed to be the only thing she didn’t like about it, and she loved it before and was good enough to get college scholarships and win championships and stuff.

Yeah. Just not a fully satisfying ending.]]> 3.36 2024
author: Hannah McKinnon
name: Cara
average rating: 3.36
book published: 2024
rating: 3
read at: 2024/10/21
date added: 2024/10/22
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
When this book started, I was like, “damn, Ned’s perspective is boring. I wish we could read Darcy’s!�� So I was really pleased when the next chapter switched to Darcy’s perspective. There’s also a third perspective: Flick, the teen boy who moves in next door.

Darcy’s big secret was pretty obvious from the beginning, but I was still pleased to see it come to light and people rally around her.

But overall, the book felt kind of unbalanced. There’s not a pleasing symmetry to having it told from the perspectives of the dad, the daughter, and the new kid next door. And a lot of loose ends never really get tied up.

Here’s how I thought it would end, besides Darcy’s secret getting resolved. (Not a spoiler, just my theories.) I thought Adam would discover in doing the books that the Delancies were embezzling from the club, plus their son was the one stealing liquor, silverware, and boats. So then they’d get kicked out and have to pay everything back, the club would be saved, Ned’s job would be saved, and Adam would be vindicated.

I guess that would be too on-the-nose, but I’d have been up for it.

Instead, we do find out who stole the silverware and at least some of the liquor, but the boats are left unresolved. Does Darcy stop taking diet pills? Unresolved. Does anyone catch Bitsy stealing the silver? Apparently not. Why the fuck was Flick named Flick? No idea. (Apparently it’s not just a nickname because it was on his job application.) Where does Ned work next? Don’t know. I guess we don’t really need to know all of those things, but I personally would feel more satisfied if we did.

One loose end that I was glad was left loose: after the big fuss made over Ned’s heirloom roses, I was sure somebody was going to destroy them later in the book. But no, they were never mentioned again, so presumably they’re safe. Phew!

I’m also glad Darcy and Ned started playing golf again! But it seems a shame Darcy didn’t get back to playing competitively, since the gropey golf pro seemed to be the only thing she didn’t like about it, and she loved it before and was good enough to get college scholarships and win championships and stuff.

Yeah. Just not a fully satisfying ending.
]]> 54985743 Two best friends. Ten summer trips. One last chance to fall in love.

Poppy and Alex. Alex and Poppy. They have nothing in common. She’s a wild child; he wears khakis. She has insatiable wanderlust; he prefers to stay home with a book. And somehow, ever since a fateful car share home from college many years ago, they are the very best of friends. For most of the year they live far apart—she’s in New York City, and he’s in their small hometown—but every summer, for a decade, they have taken one glorious week of vacation together.

Until two years ago, when they ruined everything. They haven’t spoken since.

Poppy has everything she should want, but she’s stuck in a rut. When someone asks when she was last truly happy, she knows, without a doubt, it was on that ill-fated, final trip with Alex. And so, she decides to convince her best friend to take one more vacation together—lay everything on the table, make it all right. Miraculously, he agrees.

Now she has a week to fix everything. If only she can get around the one big truth that has always stood quietly in the middle of their seemingly perfect relationship. What could possibly go wrong?]]> 400 Emily Henry 1984806750 Cara 3 fun-or-frivolity
...

She caught me just in time! I really don't like Poppy on her own. I don't even really like Alex that much either. But the magic Poppy feels when she's with Alex? That, I can't resist.

This book made me miss every former close male friend I've ever had. And then, on top of that, it's another book where the author shows what a great guy the guy is and how much he cares by having him take really sweet, thoughtful care of the girl while she's sick. In this book, Poppy gets every single thing I wanted when I was sick. She even had pneumonia, just like me! I'm starting to think the universe is fucking with me with this.

But one thing I don't understand is why it was so fucking hard for these two idiots to admit they loved each other and get together. Yes, they never wanted to lose each other. Who does? And so what? There are a million ways to lose someone. People die. People move away. Or, in the idiotic case of these two, people *gasp* kiss each other... and then don't speak for two years!

Most of the ways to lose someone are completely out of your control and happen even if you never have sex or let yourself fall in love. So wtf is the point of refusing to give love a try? To me, that's just stupid.

Which made the third-act breakup extra stupid and pointless, if you ask me.

But I really enjoyed the feeling of being imaginarily reunited with my long-gone guy friends, so I'll probably read this book again for that experience.

I can see why this book is not a favorite for a lot of people. Both main characters are less than likable. I was surprised to read in the book club section that even the author didn't like Alex in the early years of the story! I wanted to call her up and be like, "but what about Poppy? She really never stops being annoying!"

��

So the book club bonus materials end by asking if we think Alex and Poppy make it work and stay together in the long term. My reflex answer was, “Of course! It’s true love!�� But the more I thought about it, it’s like, well��

And then I read the book a second time. Here’s the thing. If there’s only one person in the entire world who you show your real self to, and they accept and love you, then of course you’ll find them impossible to resist. That’s the magic these two have going on. But the answer is not to marry them even though you’re nothing alike. The solution is to be your real self with more people.

There’s a moment in New Orleans when they walk into a loud, vivid bar, and Alex is like, “This place is awful! You love it, right?�� And Poppy is like, “Yes, it’s the best!�� and then they stay there until she’s ready to move on to something else.

To me, that moment sums up the whole problem with this relationship. This kind of dynamic is tolerable for a week or two at a time, but for everyday life? It gets really fucking exhausting being with someone who thinks you’re too loud and too weird and doesn’t like doing any of the things you like doing. And it also gets really fucking exhausting being with someone who’s always trying to drag you to loud shit and always needs unendingly more attention. I’ve been both of those people in relationships, and it sucks to be both of them.

If they were real people, I think they would stay together, mainly because Alex is so devoted, but I think they’d be deeply unhappy together for many long years.

Also, the whole thing where they end up not speaking for two years after a kiss? That’s just too stupid. Although I enjoyed this book enough to read it a second time, I’m deducting a star for how stupid that is.]]> 3.85 2021
author: Emily Henry
name: Cara
average rating: 3.85
book published: 2021
rating: 3
read at: 2024/10/20
date added: 2024/10/22
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
25 pages in, this heroine reminds me of my ex-best-frenemy, and not in a good way. I want to smack her and tell her to quit whining and grow up. And her best friend Rachel is kinda worse. This has 25 more pages to stop sucking or it’s going straight to DNFville.

...

She caught me just in time! I really don't like Poppy on her own. I don't even really like Alex that much either. But the magic Poppy feels when she's with Alex? That, I can't resist.

This book made me miss every former close male friend I've ever had. And then, on top of that, it's another book where the author shows what a great guy the guy is and how much he cares by having him take really sweet, thoughtful care of the girl while she's sick. In this book, Poppy gets every single thing I wanted when I was sick. She even had pneumonia, just like me! I'm starting to think the universe is fucking with me with this.

But one thing I don't understand is why it was so fucking hard for these two idiots to admit they loved each other and get together. Yes, they never wanted to lose each other. Who does? And so what? There are a million ways to lose someone. People die. People move away. Or, in the idiotic case of these two, people *gasp* kiss each other... and then don't speak for two years!

Most of the ways to lose someone are completely out of your control and happen even if you never have sex or let yourself fall in love. So wtf is the point of refusing to give love a try? To me, that's just stupid.

Which made the third-act breakup extra stupid and pointless, if you ask me.

But I really enjoyed the feeling of being imaginarily reunited with my long-gone guy friends, so I'll probably read this book again for that experience.

I can see why this book is not a favorite for a lot of people. Both main characters are less than likable. I was surprised to read in the book club section that even the author didn't like Alex in the early years of the story! I wanted to call her up and be like, "but what about Poppy? She really never stops being annoying!"

��

So the book club bonus materials end by asking if we think Alex and Poppy make it work and stay together in the long term. My reflex answer was, “Of course! It’s true love!�� But the more I thought about it, it’s like, well��

And then I read the book a second time. Here’s the thing. If there’s only one person in the entire world who you show your real self to, and they accept and love you, then of course you’ll find them impossible to resist. That’s the magic these two have going on. But the answer is not to marry them even though you’re nothing alike. The solution is to be your real self with more people.

There’s a moment in New Orleans when they walk into a loud, vivid bar, and Alex is like, “This place is awful! You love it, right?�� And Poppy is like, “Yes, it’s the best!�� and then they stay there until she’s ready to move on to something else.

To me, that moment sums up the whole problem with this relationship. This kind of dynamic is tolerable for a week or two at a time, but for everyday life? It gets really fucking exhausting being with someone who thinks you’re too loud and too weird and doesn’t like doing any of the things you like doing. And it also gets really fucking exhausting being with someone who’s always trying to drag you to loud shit and always needs unendingly more attention. I’ve been both of those people in relationships, and it sucks to be both of them.

If they were real people, I think they would stay together, mainly because Alex is so devoted, but I think they’d be deeply unhappy together for many long years.

Also, the whole thing where they end up not speaking for two years after a kiss? That’s just too stupid. Although I enjoyed this book enough to read it a second time, I’m deducting a star for how stupid that is.
]]> 194802722 A shimmering, joyful new novel about a pair of opposites with the wrong thing in common, from #1 New York Times bestselling author Emily Henry.

Daphne always loved the way her fiancé, Peter, told their story. How they met (on a blustery day), fell in love (over an errant hat), and moved back to his lakeside hometown to begin their life together. He really was good at telling it... right up until the moment he realized he was actually in love with his childhood best friend Petra.

Which is how Daphne begins her new story: stranded in beautiful Waning Bay, Michigan, without friends or family but with a dream job as a children’s librarian (that barely pays the bills), and proposing to be roommates with the only person who could possibly understand her predicament: Petra’s ex, Miles Nowak.

Scruffy and chaotic—with a penchant for taking solace in the sounds of heart break love ballads—Miles is exactly the opposite of practical, buttoned-up Daphne, whose coworkers know so little about her they have a running bet that she’s either FBI or in witness protection. The roommates mainly avoid one another, until one day, while drowning their sorrows, they form a tenuous friendship and a plan. If said plan also involves posting deliberately misleading photos of their summer adventures together, well, who could blame them?

But it’s all just for show, of course, because there’s no way Daphne would actually start her new chapter by falling in love with her ex-fiancé’s new fiancée’s ex... right?]]> 400 Emily Henry Cara 4 fun-or-frivolity
This was a solid story. I liked both main characters, and I related to their avoidant tendencies. I also appreciated that the most obvious misunderstanding is not what this author wrote. There was a misunderstanding but at least it wasn’t trite. I appreciate that they both consciously decided to be brave and do things differently than they had in the past, and I like that the female lead learned not to make the guy her whole life. ]]> 4.21 2024
author: Emily Henry
name: Cara
average rating: 4.21
book published: 2024
rating: 4
read at: 2024/10/17
date added: 2024/10/17
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
Finally read an Emily Henry book. Now I understand what all the fuss is about.

This was a solid story. I liked both main characters, and I related to their avoidant tendencies. I also appreciated that the most obvious misunderstanding is not what this author wrote. There was a misunderstanding but at least it wasn’t trite. I appreciate that they both consciously decided to be brave and do things differently than they had in the past, and I like that the female lead learned not to make the guy her whole life.
]]> 195820807
Emma hadn't planned that her next assignment as a traveling nurse would be in Minnesota, but she and her best friend agree that dating Justin is too good of an opportunity to pass up, especially when they get to rent an adorable cottage on a private island on Lake Minnetonka.

It's supposed to be a quick fling, just for the summer. But when Emma's toxic mother shows up and Justin has to assume guardianship of his three siblings, they're suddenly navigating a lot more than they expected--including catching real feelings for each other. What if this time Fate has actually brought the perfect pair together?]]> 432 Abby Jimenez 1538704439 Cara 5 fun-or-frivolity
I loved these characters in all their flawed glory. Well, actually, Justin seemed pretty damn perfect. But Emma had tons of issues, and I loved them both.

I also have to admit I enjoyed seeing Amber unleash the crazy, and I was really impressed with Neil. I still wouldn’t want to date him myself, but he’s come a long way from how awful he was to Alexis.

I loved the sweet, practical love between the main characters, and I loved that the author didn’t trash the story with misunderstandings or the “I’ll protect you by dumping you�� trope. This is similar on the surface, but it’s not the same.

Having just gone through being sick myself and needing someone to take care of me, Justin is the ideal. Not only did he show up, get her the help she needed, and stay with her, he also got her drinks, took care of other things, and cleaned. Heart eyes!!! My experience was not like this, so it was nice to live it in the book at least.

The one with Jacob and Briana is still my favorite of all time, but this book is a close second. More, please!

Bonus: in the reading group guide, the interviewer asked the author why bring Neil back for another book. The answer: “Honestly? I wanted to burn his house down lol.��

I find that hysterical.

Of course there’s more to it than that, but as the first sentence of her answer? Too funny.

Abby Jimenez bingo:
Opened a can of soda with a pith
Fucked up dog of obscure breed
Mention of Nadia Cakes
Red/green flagging guys based on their bed frames
References to travel vlogger Vanessa Price, rock star Jaxon Waters, rock star Lola Simone, and cookbook author Sloan Monroe from the other series

��
I just read this for the third time before it has to go back to the library. One more thing I really appreciate about this book: the author didn’t have Emma stay and have all her trauma magically disappear because True Love. She went and got professional help and worked through her shit. And then she came back when she was whole enough to have something to offer. So many books act like the right guy will just magically make all your problems disappear, and that’s bullshit. Thank you, Abby, for keeping it real. ]]> 4.35 2024
author: Abby Jimenez
name: Cara
average rating: 4.35
book published: 2024
rating: 5
read at: 2024/10/15
date added: 2024/10/15
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
Again, I set out to savor this book and instead read the whole thing the day I got it from the library.

I loved these characters in all their flawed glory. Well, actually, Justin seemed pretty damn perfect. But Emma had tons of issues, and I loved them both.

I also have to admit I enjoyed seeing Amber unleash the crazy, and I was really impressed with Neil. I still wouldn’t want to date him myself, but he’s come a long way from how awful he was to Alexis.

I loved the sweet, practical love between the main characters, and I loved that the author didn’t trash the story with misunderstandings or the “I’ll protect you by dumping you�� trope. This is similar on the surface, but it’s not the same.

Having just gone through being sick myself and needing someone to take care of me, Justin is the ideal. Not only did he show up, get her the help she needed, and stay with her, he also got her drinks, took care of other things, and cleaned. Heart eyes!!! My experience was not like this, so it was nice to live it in the book at least.

The one with Jacob and Briana is still my favorite of all time, but this book is a close second. More, please!

Bonus: in the reading group guide, the interviewer asked the author why bring Neil back for another book. The answer: “Honestly? I wanted to burn his house down lol.��

I find that hysterical.

Of course there’s more to it than that, but as the first sentence of her answer? Too funny.

Abby Jimenez bingo:
Opened a can of soda with a pith
Fucked up dog of obscure breed
Mention of Nadia Cakes
Red/green flagging guys based on their bed frames
References to travel vlogger Vanessa Price, rock star Jaxon Waters, rock star Lola Simone, and cookbook author Sloan Monroe from the other series

��
I just read this for the third time before it has to go back to the library. One more thing I really appreciate about this book: the author didn’t have Emma stay and have all her trauma magically disappear because True Love. She went and got professional help and worked through her shit. And then she came back when she was whole enough to have something to offer. So many books act like the right guy will just magically make all your problems disappear, and that’s bullshit. Thank you, Abby, for keeping it real.
]]> 150245732
It’s not always easy to tell when you’re dealing with a narcissist. One day they draw you in with their confidence and charisma, the next they gaslight you, wreck your self-confidence, and leave you wondering, What could I have done differently?

As Dr. Ramani Durvasula reveals in It's Not You , the answer absolutely nothing. Just as a tiger can’t change its stripes, a narcissist won’t stop manipulating and invalidating you. To heal in the aftermath of their abuse and protect yourself from future harm, you first have to accept that you are not to blame.��

Deeply compassionate and revelatory, It’s Not You examines how narcissists hijack our wellbeing and offers a healing path forward. Drawing on more than 20 years of studying, teaching, and helping clients navigate the landscape of narcissism, Dr. Durvasula unpacks the oft-misunderstood personality, showing how to identify the telltale signs that you may be dealing with a narcissist and protect yourself from their toxic influence. Along the way, you’ll learn how to become gaslight resistant, chip away at the trauma bonds that keep us stuck in these cycles, grieve the losses, create realistic boundaries, learn the fine art of discernment, and recover your sense of self after years of invalidation.

Healing and thriving after or even during a narcissistic relationship can be challenging, but it is possible. It's Not You shows that the first step is to stop trying to change the narcissistic person, stop blaming yourself, and start giving yourself permission to foster your autonomy and sense of self outside of this relationship.]]> 362 Ramani Durvasula 0593492633 Cara 4 life
On one hand, it's made me feel a lot less stupid about falling for it the second time around. On the other hand, it's made it nearly impossible not to see the narcissistic tendencies of certain family members, who now I'm having a lot of trouble tolerating.

Risk factors: empathy; being a rescuer; optimism and positivity; being forever forgiving; narcisstic, antagonistic, or invalidating parents; happy family; going through a transition; rushed relationships; history of trauma, betrayal, or significant loss

Highlights:
188
my clients consistently shared stories of being invalidated or shamed for having a need or for expressing or being themselves. Their experiences, perceptions, and reality itself were regularly challenged. They were blamed for the problematic behavior of these people in their lives. They felt lost and isolated.
654
Everyone loves a redemption story. The myth is that all people can change, and if all people can change, so can a narcissistic person. But the reality is, this is extraordinarily unlikely.
763
In other words, narcissistic people make you feel small so they can feel safe.
764
One way to understand narcissistic abuse is to consider the question, “What does the narcissistic person need?�� The answer is control, domination, power, admiration, and validation.
771
moderate narcissistic abuse: systematic invalidation, minimization, manipulation, rage, betrayal, and gaslighting with periods of “normal�� and “good�� thrown into the mix. To the world your relationship may look fine, while you live in a confused and uncomfortable haze.
808
the DARVO model to explain the response any abuser, but certainly a gaslighter, will engage in when confronted about their behavior. DARVO stands for deny (the behavior), attack (the person confronting them about the behavior), and reverse victim and offender (the gaslighter positions themselves as a victim—e.g., “Everyone is out to get me”—and the other person as the abuser—e.g., “You are always coming at me and criticizing me��).
822
Dismissiveness, invalidation, minimization, manipulation, exploitativeness, and rage
826
To be in a narcissistic relationship is to have your needs, feelings, beliefs, experiences, thoughts, hopes, and even sense of self be dismissed and invalidated.
831
Dismissiveness often foreshadows contempt and an absolute disregard and disdain for you and anything that matters to you. Invalidation is not being seen, felt, heard, or experienced. Where the dismissiveness is a brush-off, invalidation is a negation.
853
there will be a psychological debt that is created if you ever accept a favor, and in the future if you feel uncomfortable with something the narcissistic person is asking of you, they will remind you of what they have done for you in the past.
869
Needing to control schedules, appearances, financial decisions, and the narrative is a classical part of narcissistic behavior. Their control may also feel spiteful and simply serves as a way to show you that they are in charge.
886
Arguing, baiting, blame shifting, justifying, rationalizing, criticizing, being contemptuous, humiliating, speaking in word salad
888
Narcissistic folks love a fight, debate, argument, or any form of conflict. Arguing gives them another way to get supply, let out some steam, air their grievances, and remain dominant.
898
With narcissistic parents, it’s your fault they didn’t get to achieve their dreams.
972
Narcissistic relationships follow a cycle. This cycle often begins with charm, intensity, idealization, or the patterns we call love bombing that draw us in. Then gradually, the “idealized�� mask falls off and the expectable patterns of devaluation and discard kick in. While it doesn’t always happen, typically the narcissistic person will attempt to pull you back in, and not just because the relationship ended or one of you left, but also in response to increased boundaries and disengagement on your part. If you grant a “second chance,�� the cycle invariably restarts.
1,018
Of course, not all grandiose gestures at the beginning of a relationship are love bombing—even healthy relationships can be compelling and exciting in the beginning. The difference is that if you voice your needs, such as asking for more time or to slow things down in a new relationship, a narcissistic person may become angry and accuse you of not wanting a commitment.
1,021
if you asked a healthy new partner to slow down, they wouldn’t become sullen and resentful. True romance is respectful and empathic; love bombing is a tactic.
1,074
Curiosity. Narcissistic folks may be overwhelming in how interested they are in you. In the early days of a relationship, they may ask lots of probing questions to get to know you when what they’re really doing is getting information that will be useful for them down the line, like your assets, connections, vulnerabilities, and fears. For people who have rarely felt heard or seen, the narcissistic person’s seeming curiosity can be a hook.
1,083
The transition from love bombing to devaluation may be gradual but it can nonetheless take you by surprise.
1,086
During the devaluation phase, the idealized version of the narcissistic person slips away. You might do everything—changing your appearance, trying to impress them with what you do or say, catering to their every whim, giving up things that matter to you, doing things for their family, or making more money—to recapture and maintain their attention.
1,125
The devaluation and discard phases of narcissistic relationships are often followed by hoovering. they will eventually try to suck you back in like a vacuum cleaner. for them, relationships are about control, supply, and regulation. Narcissistic people hoover to get back your supply
1,175
Nobody stays in a narcissistic relationship because it is abusive and uncomfortable, and describing survivors of adult narcissistic relationships as “masochists�� or “gluttons for punishment�� is an inaccurate and unfair characterization. The good moments are what draw you in and what you want to sustain; the bad moments are confusing and unsettling.
1,188
When children in narcissistically abusive parental relationships try to set a boundary or express a need, they will often find themselves feeling abandoned or guilty when the parent either gives them the silent treatment or behaves like a victim.
1,191
an invalidating childhood creates a relationship template that consists of hoop-jumping to earn love, feeling guilty for expressing your own needs, and believing that abuse and invalidation are a part of a loving relationship, as well as having the fear and anxiety that arise from not being able to foster healthy attachments. In addition, the alternation between good and bad days means that such cycles not only are normalized but also that self-blame for those cycles is carried into adult relationships.
1,398
Self-blame is a crossroads of many dynamics—an internalization of the gaslighting, an attempt to make sense of what is happening, and an effort to get some sense of control (If it’s my fault, I can fix it).
1,433
One of the great traps of the narcissistic relationship is that the narcissistic folks actually believe they are nice people. It’s part of their system of delusional grandiosity, self-righteousness, and moral rectitude.
1,439
Narcissistic people are often so resolute in the belief of their goodness, warmth, empathy, and all-around awesomeness that if you already have a devalued sense of your own worth, you are more likely to take the blame. And just when the relationship seems untenable, narcissistic people will often pull a rabbit out of their hats
1,469
The narcissistic relationship can work only if you internalize the narcissistic person’s shame and make it your own. In essence, you become the storage unit for the narcissistic person’s shame.
1,485
You were flexible enough to make this work, but the dark side is that this expectation or your ability to show up like everything is “fine�� means that even the good people around you often have no idea how bad it was or is for you.
1,520
The loss of trust you experience as a result of narcissistic abuse can also extend to a fear of relying on other people. This can create an exhausting “you versus the world�� pseudoautonomy in which you may feel safer doing everything yourself so you cannot be let down by others.
1,586
you may have showed up to therapy and been told that you were just anxious, that all relationships are difficult, and that you should find better ways to communicate, which made you doubt yourself more.
1,601
It is about radical acceptance and living with the painful realization that narcissistic patterns do not change.
1,725
If you are a committed forgiver, that raises tremendous vulnerability because instead of embracing forgiveness as a call to be better, narcissistic people view it as a sign that there will not be consequences for their behavior.
1,733
The message in these families is that you need to earn love or be a source of narcissistic supply to your parent to keep their love, or you are judged on the basis of what you can do for the narcissistic family member. As a result, you learn to push down your own needs, enable the narcissistic family member, and become accustomed to being gaslighted, manipulated, and subjected to the silent treatment.
1,852
Golden children represent something their narcissistic parent values: they may resemble the parent; are very attractive, obedient, and compliant; or are a brilliant student or athlete. The golden child’s success, appearance, or behavior is supply for the narcissistic parent, and golden children get their attachment and affiliation needs met by being what the parent wants.
1,856
But the golden child lives on a conditional and perilous pedestal, knowing that if they no longer perform or deliver, their stock may drop.
1,931
Not being seen can leave you feeling unworthy, diminish self-esteem, and limit your ability to advocate for yourself. This places you at risk for entering and remaining in adult relationships where you are unseen or being preyed upon by narcissistic people who initially do pay attention to you.
1,995
the first time something happens is a blip, the second time is a coincidence, the third time is a pattern.
2,053
But once you can see your justifications clearly as justifications, you are in a better position to catch yourself. Write down and reflect on the justifications you most often fall back on (She didn’t mean it; I may be asking too much; maybe I am being silly in expecting people to be polite; he doesn’t know better; I am overthinking it—that’s just how she communicates; he is getting old).
2,066
When you feel guilty, ask yourself, “What did I do wrong?�� And then the follow-up question is, “If someone else did this, would I feel they were doing something wrong?��
2,149
When I guide people through healing from narcissistic abuse, we work on the issue of “surprise”—the agitation they experience after looking at yet another toxic text message, email, or conversation. Having radical acceptance means you are less surprised and, in fact, would actually be surprised if these things didn’t happen.
2,153
Finally, radical acceptance is critical because it allows you to stop framing your assessment of your life based on how things are going in this relationship.
2,161
The greatest barrier to radical acceptance is hope. Hope for change. Hope that the promises will be kept. Hope that things will get better. Hope for the genuine apology or accountability. Hope for the happily ever after. Hope that it is actually a normal and healthy relationship.
2,174
Acceptance doesn’t just mean seeing that the person’s personality and behavior are not going to change, but also that this will not be a safe space or a relationship you can rely on.
2,184
That mental trap of “I need to be forgiving, I know they don’t mean it�� or “I am as bad as them if I give up on them�� can keep people stuck and impede the process of healing. Instead, focus on framing narcissistic abuse as behavior, because it can feel less dehumanizing than viewing it as “This is a bad person.��
2,271
Many survivors of narcissistic relationships are stunned that, even years later, the narcissistic person still seems as angry and aggrieved as they were at the time of the breakup.
2,511
The narcissistic relationship is an intricate dance: the narcissistic person projects their shame onto you, and you, because you’re an empathic and accountable person, may receive it, integrate it, blame yourself, and ultimately take responsibility for all the toxicity within the relationship. Only with this structure can these relationships persist. The day you finally accept that the narcissistic dynamic will not change and that it has nothing to do with you is the day these cycles shift—and the day the relationship stops “working.��
2,554
While in the relationship, you may also experience ambiguous loss, described as loss that is ongoing, unresolved, and unclear. It’s akin to the loss a person experiences when they have a family member or loved one with dementia—the person is there, but they are not there.
2,558
The grief evoked when a narcissistic relationship ends can be confusing because there is the sense you should be relieved, yet you still feel sad. The sadness and loss may snap you into thinking you made a mistake, and you may go back into the relationship.
2,758
In the beginning, during the gatekeeping, getting acquainted, and discernment phase, narcissist resistance means taking the time to notice behavior that makes you uncomfortable. It means not getting caught up in the rhetoric of Let me give them another chance and instead trusting your instincts.
2,763
When you have no clear plans of ending or leaving the relationship, the “middle of the tunnel�� may be the most difficult place of resistance. During this time, it’s essential to develop radical acceptance, avoid taking the bait, not fall for the future faking, and recognize the gaslighting when it happens. To limit the narcissistic person’s impact, it also helps to not take responsibility for their bad behavior.
2,766
come out the other side of the tunnel, narcissism resistance means seeing the toxic patterns and behaviors clearly, catching yourself in the distortions of euphoric recall, steering clear of the enablers, and journaling the hell out of this relationship so you have a point of reference and cannot trick yourself with denial.
2,878
you may also flee by distancing or dissociating from your emotions or from yourself while in the relationship (feeling a more narrow range of emotion, no longer expressing needs, feeling like you are watching this relationship happen to you without really being connected to it, numbing yourself through work, food, or alcohol).
2,880
You may also mentally check out when the narcissistic person starts in on you.
2,892
The fawn/submit response is a surrender of your needs in favor of winning over and staying connected to the threatening person, and it is especially conditioned in people who grew up in abusive childhood environments.
3,077
When you try to be perfect, you are still playing to the narcissistic person’s projections and grandiose expectations of perfection. Try for “good enough�� instead
3,085
Try a simple exercise where you identify the following (and keep a little snack around for the last step): 5 things you can see. 4 things you can hear. 3 things you can tactilely feel. 2 things you can smell (keep some aromatherapy oils or a scented candle with you if you want). 1 thing you can taste.
3,116
WAYS TO BECOME MORE NARCISSIST RESISTANT These tools may help you shut the gate on a future narcissist—and perhaps keep yourself sane with the ones who are already in your life. Own your truth and reality. This is, in essence, gaslight repellent. Stop falling for charisma and charm. Don’t get lost in superficial qualities such as intelligence or education—or appearance, wealth, and success. Watch how they treat other people (and don’t justify it). Learn their tells—watch how they behave under conditions of stress, frustration, or disappointment. Breathe and take things slowly. Disengage from the enablers. Stop giving multiple second chances. Cultivate a healthier social network. Start getting comfortable with taking the less popular path. Know that by being narcissist resistant, you may get called out for being judgmental, demanding, or even difficult.
3,211
No matter how treacherous, hurtful, and painful your narcissistic relationship has been, you may still love the narcissistic person in your life and not feel ready to step away. I have had many a survivor say to me, “I wish I hated him, this would be so much easier...��
3,213
You may sort through the trauma bonds and do the work but still recognize that you have loving feelings for the narcissistic person, and you may feel ashamed, heartbroken, or foolish.
3,214
Healing means not judging your feelings. There are no mistakes in this process, just lessons.
3,392
When you practice not going DEEP you do not: Defend Engage Explain Personalize
3,396
When someone is accusing you of something you did not do or saying something about you that you do not agree with, it’s natural to want to defend yourself. But remember the cardinal rule of narcissism: they aren’t listening.
3,403
Because narcissistic people are so manipulative, you may feel compelled to explain yourself whenever they gaslight you.
3,404
You may believe that if the narcissistic person could just hear your point of view, things would be better—but they won’t.
3,503
You want a therapist who does not blame or shame you, doesn’t ask you what your contribution is to the narcissistic person’s behavior, doesn’t scold you for wondering if a person in your life is narcissistic or toxic or gaslighting you, doesn’t ask you to keep giving second chances or to repeatedly set boundaries that are never honored, and, above all, who never asks you, “Why don’t you leave?��
3,884
after years or a lifetime of being gaslighted, manipulated, invalidated, and minimized, of being told you are not enough, that there is something wrong with you, that you have no right to feel the way you feel, of wondering, What is it? What am I doing wrong? What can I do better? How can I be better? you finally and fully recognize��.��.��. It’s not you.]]> 4.54 2024
author: Ramani Durvasula
name: Cara
average rating: 4.54
book published: 2024
rating: 4
read at: 2024/10/07
date added: 2024/10/09
shelves: life
review:
Having just dated two narcissists in a row, I wanted to make sure I don't do it again. I think this book is as good as anything possibly could be for inoculating someone against narcissistic abuse.

On one hand, it's made me feel a lot less stupid about falling for it the second time around. On the other hand, it's made it nearly impossible not to see the narcissistic tendencies of certain family members, who now I'm having a lot of trouble tolerating.

Risk factors: empathy; being a rescuer; optimism and positivity; being forever forgiving; narcisstic, antagonistic, or invalidating parents; happy family; going through a transition; rushed relationships; history of trauma, betrayal, or significant loss

Highlights:
188
my clients consistently shared stories of being invalidated or shamed for having a need or for expressing or being themselves. Their experiences, perceptions, and reality itself were regularly challenged. They were blamed for the problematic behavior of these people in their lives. They felt lost and isolated.
654
Everyone loves a redemption story. The myth is that all people can change, and if all people can change, so can a narcissistic person. But the reality is, this is extraordinarily unlikely.
763
In other words, narcissistic people make you feel small so they can feel safe.
764
One way to understand narcissistic abuse is to consider the question, “What does the narcissistic person need?�� The answer is control, domination, power, admiration, and validation.
771
moderate narcissistic abuse: systematic invalidation, minimization, manipulation, rage, betrayal, and gaslighting with periods of “normal�� and “good�� thrown into the mix. To the world your relationship may look fine, while you live in a confused and uncomfortable haze.
808
the DARVO model to explain the response any abuser, but certainly a gaslighter, will engage in when confronted about their behavior. DARVO stands for deny (the behavior), attack (the person confronting them about the behavior), and reverse victim and offender (the gaslighter positions themselves as a victim—e.g., “Everyone is out to get me”—and the other person as the abuser—e.g., “You are always coming at me and criticizing me��).
822
Dismissiveness, invalidation, minimization, manipulation, exploitativeness, and rage
826
To be in a narcissistic relationship is to have your needs, feelings, beliefs, experiences, thoughts, hopes, and even sense of self be dismissed and invalidated.
831
Dismissiveness often foreshadows contempt and an absolute disregard and disdain for you and anything that matters to you. Invalidation is not being seen, felt, heard, or experienced. Where the dismissiveness is a brush-off, invalidation is a negation.
853
there will be a psychological debt that is created if you ever accept a favor, and in the future if you feel uncomfortable with something the narcissistic person is asking of you, they will remind you of what they have done for you in the past.
869
Needing to control schedules, appearances, financial decisions, and the narrative is a classical part of narcissistic behavior. Their control may also feel spiteful and simply serves as a way to show you that they are in charge.
886
Arguing, baiting, blame shifting, justifying, rationalizing, criticizing, being contemptuous, humiliating, speaking in word salad
888
Narcissistic folks love a fight, debate, argument, or any form of conflict. Arguing gives them another way to get supply, let out some steam, air their grievances, and remain dominant.
898
With narcissistic parents, it’s your fault they didn’t get to achieve their dreams.
972
Narcissistic relationships follow a cycle. This cycle often begins with charm, intensity, idealization, or the patterns we call love bombing that draw us in. Then gradually, the “idealized�� mask falls off and the expectable patterns of devaluation and discard kick in. While it doesn’t always happen, typically the narcissistic person will attempt to pull you back in, and not just because the relationship ended or one of you left, but also in response to increased boundaries and disengagement on your part. If you grant a “second chance,�� the cycle invariably restarts.
1,018
Of course, not all grandiose gestures at the beginning of a relationship are love bombing—even healthy relationships can be compelling and exciting in the beginning. The difference is that if you voice your needs, such as asking for more time or to slow things down in a new relationship, a narcissistic person may become angry and accuse you of not wanting a commitment.
1,021
if you asked a healthy new partner to slow down, they wouldn’t become sullen and resentful. True romance is respectful and empathic; love bombing is a tactic.
1,074
Curiosity. Narcissistic folks may be overwhelming in how interested they are in you. In the early days of a relationship, they may ask lots of probing questions to get to know you when what they’re really doing is getting information that will be useful for them down the line, like your assets, connections, vulnerabilities, and fears. For people who have rarely felt heard or seen, the narcissistic person’s seeming curiosity can be a hook.
1,083
The transition from love bombing to devaluation may be gradual but it can nonetheless take you by surprise.
1,086
During the devaluation phase, the idealized version of the narcissistic person slips away. You might do everything—changing your appearance, trying to impress them with what you do or say, catering to their every whim, giving up things that matter to you, doing things for their family, or making more money—to recapture and maintain their attention.
1,125
The devaluation and discard phases of narcissistic relationships are often followed by hoovering. they will eventually try to suck you back in like a vacuum cleaner. for them, relationships are about control, supply, and regulation. Narcissistic people hoover to get back your supply
1,175
Nobody stays in a narcissistic relationship because it is abusive and uncomfortable, and describing survivors of adult narcissistic relationships as “masochists�� or “gluttons for punishment�� is an inaccurate and unfair characterization. The good moments are what draw you in and what you want to sustain; the bad moments are confusing and unsettling.
1,188
When children in narcissistically abusive parental relationships try to set a boundary or express a need, they will often find themselves feeling abandoned or guilty when the parent either gives them the silent treatment or behaves like a victim.
1,191
an invalidating childhood creates a relationship template that consists of hoop-jumping to earn love, feeling guilty for expressing your own needs, and believing that abuse and invalidation are a part of a loving relationship, as well as having the fear and anxiety that arise from not being able to foster healthy attachments. In addition, the alternation between good and bad days means that such cycles not only are normalized but also that self-blame for those cycles is carried into adult relationships.
1,398
Self-blame is a crossroads of many dynamics—an internalization of the gaslighting, an attempt to make sense of what is happening, and an effort to get some sense of control (If it’s my fault, I can fix it).
1,433
One of the great traps of the narcissistic relationship is that the narcissistic folks actually believe they are nice people. It’s part of their system of delusional grandiosity, self-righteousness, and moral rectitude.
1,439
Narcissistic people are often so resolute in the belief of their goodness, warmth, empathy, and all-around awesomeness that if you already have a devalued sense of your own worth, you are more likely to take the blame. And just when the relationship seems untenable, narcissistic people will often pull a rabbit out of their hats
1,469
The narcissistic relationship can work only if you internalize the narcissistic person’s shame and make it your own. In essence, you become the storage unit for the narcissistic person’s shame.
1,485
You were flexible enough to make this work, but the dark side is that this expectation or your ability to show up like everything is “fine�� means that even the good people around you often have no idea how bad it was or is for you.
1,520
The loss of trust you experience as a result of narcissistic abuse can also extend to a fear of relying on other people. This can create an exhausting “you versus the world�� pseudoautonomy in which you may feel safer doing everything yourself so you cannot be let down by others.
1,586
you may have showed up to therapy and been told that you were just anxious, that all relationships are difficult, and that you should find better ways to communicate, which made you doubt yourself more.
1,601
It is about radical acceptance and living with the painful realization that narcissistic patterns do not change.
1,725
If you are a committed forgiver, that raises tremendous vulnerability because instead of embracing forgiveness as a call to be better, narcissistic people view it as a sign that there will not be consequences for their behavior.
1,733
The message in these families is that you need to earn love or be a source of narcissistic supply to your parent to keep their love, or you are judged on the basis of what you can do for the narcissistic family member. As a result, you learn to push down your own needs, enable the narcissistic family member, and become accustomed to being gaslighted, manipulated, and subjected to the silent treatment.
1,852
Golden children represent something their narcissistic parent values: they may resemble the parent; are very attractive, obedient, and compliant; or are a brilliant student or athlete. The golden child’s success, appearance, or behavior is supply for the narcissistic parent, and golden children get their attachment and affiliation needs met by being what the parent wants.
1,856
But the golden child lives on a conditional and perilous pedestal, knowing that if they no longer perform or deliver, their stock may drop.
1,931
Not being seen can leave you feeling unworthy, diminish self-esteem, and limit your ability to advocate for yourself. This places you at risk for entering and remaining in adult relationships where you are unseen or being preyed upon by narcissistic people who initially do pay attention to you.
1,995
the first time something happens is a blip, the second time is a coincidence, the third time is a pattern.
2,053
But once you can see your justifications clearly as justifications, you are in a better position to catch yourself. Write down and reflect on the justifications you most often fall back on (She didn’t mean it; I may be asking too much; maybe I am being silly in expecting people to be polite; he doesn’t know better; I am overthinking it—that’s just how she communicates; he is getting old).
2,066
When you feel guilty, ask yourself, “What did I do wrong?�� And then the follow-up question is, “If someone else did this, would I feel they were doing something wrong?��
2,149
When I guide people through healing from narcissistic abuse, we work on the issue of “surprise”—the agitation they experience after looking at yet another toxic text message, email, or conversation. Having radical acceptance means you are less surprised and, in fact, would actually be surprised if these things didn’t happen.
2,153
Finally, radical acceptance is critical because it allows you to stop framing your assessment of your life based on how things are going in this relationship.
2,161
The greatest barrier to radical acceptance is hope. Hope for change. Hope that the promises will be kept. Hope that things will get better. Hope for the genuine apology or accountability. Hope for the happily ever after. Hope that it is actually a normal and healthy relationship.
2,174
Acceptance doesn’t just mean seeing that the person’s personality and behavior are not going to change, but also that this will not be a safe space or a relationship you can rely on.
2,184
That mental trap of “I need to be forgiving, I know they don’t mean it�� or “I am as bad as them if I give up on them�� can keep people stuck and impede the process of healing. Instead, focus on framing narcissistic abuse as behavior, because it can feel less dehumanizing than viewing it as “This is a bad person.��
2,271
Many survivors of narcissistic relationships are stunned that, even years later, the narcissistic person still seems as angry and aggrieved as they were at the time of the breakup.
2,511
The narcissistic relationship is an intricate dance: the narcissistic person projects their shame onto you, and you, because you’re an empathic and accountable person, may receive it, integrate it, blame yourself, and ultimately take responsibility for all the toxicity within the relationship. Only with this structure can these relationships persist. The day you finally accept that the narcissistic dynamic will not change and that it has nothing to do with you is the day these cycles shift—and the day the relationship stops “working.��
2,554
While in the relationship, you may also experience ambiguous loss, described as loss that is ongoing, unresolved, and unclear. It’s akin to the loss a person experiences when they have a family member or loved one with dementia—the person is there, but they are not there.
2,558
The grief evoked when a narcissistic relationship ends can be confusing because there is the sense you should be relieved, yet you still feel sad. The sadness and loss may snap you into thinking you made a mistake, and you may go back into the relationship.
2,758
In the beginning, during the gatekeeping, getting acquainted, and discernment phase, narcissist resistance means taking the time to notice behavior that makes you uncomfortable. It means not getting caught up in the rhetoric of Let me give them another chance and instead trusting your instincts.
2,763
When you have no clear plans of ending or leaving the relationship, the “middle of the tunnel�� may be the most difficult place of resistance. During this time, it’s essential to develop radical acceptance, avoid taking the bait, not fall for the future faking, and recognize the gaslighting when it happens. To limit the narcissistic person’s impact, it also helps to not take responsibility for their bad behavior.
2,766
come out the other side of the tunnel, narcissism resistance means seeing the toxic patterns and behaviors clearly, catching yourself in the distortions of euphoric recall, steering clear of the enablers, and journaling the hell out of this relationship so you have a point of reference and cannot trick yourself with denial.
2,878
you may also flee by distancing or dissociating from your emotions or from yourself while in the relationship (feeling a more narrow range of emotion, no longer expressing needs, feeling like you are watching this relationship happen to you without really being connected to it, numbing yourself through work, food, or alcohol).
2,880
You may also mentally check out when the narcissistic person starts in on you.
2,892
The fawn/submit response is a surrender of your needs in favor of winning over and staying connected to the threatening person, and it is especially conditioned in people who grew up in abusive childhood environments.
3,077
When you try to be perfect, you are still playing to the narcissistic person’s projections and grandiose expectations of perfection. Try for “good enough�� instead
3,085
Try a simple exercise where you identify the following (and keep a little snack around for the last step): 5 things you can see. 4 things you can hear. 3 things you can tactilely feel. 2 things you can smell (keep some aromatherapy oils or a scented candle with you if you want). 1 thing you can taste.
3,116
WAYS TO BECOME MORE NARCISSIST RESISTANT These tools may help you shut the gate on a future narcissist—and perhaps keep yourself sane with the ones who are already in your life. Own your truth and reality. This is, in essence, gaslight repellent. Stop falling for charisma and charm. Don’t get lost in superficial qualities such as intelligence or education—or appearance, wealth, and success. Watch how they treat other people (and don’t justify it). Learn their tells—watch how they behave under conditions of stress, frustration, or disappointment. Breathe and take things slowly. Disengage from the enablers. Stop giving multiple second chances. Cultivate a healthier social network. Start getting comfortable with taking the less popular path. Know that by being narcissist resistant, you may get called out for being judgmental, demanding, or even difficult.
3,211
No matter how treacherous, hurtful, and painful your narcissistic relationship has been, you may still love the narcissistic person in your life and not feel ready to step away. I have had many a survivor say to me, “I wish I hated him, this would be so much easier...��
3,213
You may sort through the trauma bonds and do the work but still recognize that you have loving feelings for the narcissistic person, and you may feel ashamed, heartbroken, or foolish.
3,214
Healing means not judging your feelings. There are no mistakes in this process, just lessons.
3,392
When you practice not going DEEP you do not: Defend Engage Explain Personalize
3,396
When someone is accusing you of something you did not do or saying something about you that you do not agree with, it’s natural to want to defend yourself. But remember the cardinal rule of narcissism: they aren’t listening.
3,403
Because narcissistic people are so manipulative, you may feel compelled to explain yourself whenever they gaslight you.
3,404
You may believe that if the narcissistic person could just hear your point of view, things would be better—but they won’t.
3,503
You want a therapist who does not blame or shame you, doesn’t ask you what your contribution is to the narcissistic person’s behavior, doesn’t scold you for wondering if a person in your life is narcissistic or toxic or gaslighting you, doesn’t ask you to keep giving second chances or to repeatedly set boundaries that are never honored, and, above all, who never asks you, “Why don’t you leave?��
3,884
after years or a lifetime of being gaslighted, manipulated, invalidated, and minimized, of being told you are not enough, that there is something wrong with you, that you have no right to feel the way you feel, of wondering, What is it? What am I doing wrong? What can I do better? How can I be better? you finally and fully recognize��.��.��. It’s not you.
]]> 620998
Amedeo Kaplan seems just like any other new kid who has moved into the town of St. Malo, Florida, a navy town where new faces are the norm. But Amedeo has a secret, a More than anything in the world, he wants to discover something -- a place, a process, even a fossil -- some treasure that no one realizes is there until he finds it. And he would also like to discover a true friend to share these things with.

William Wilcox seems like an unlikely candidate for an aloof boy who is all edges and who owns silence the way other people own words. When Amedeo and William find themselves working together on a house sale for Amedeo's eccentric neighbor, Mrs. Zender, Amedeo has an inkling that both his wishes may come true. For Mrs. Zender's mansion is crammed with memorabilia of her long life, and there is a story to go with every piece. Soon the boys find themselves caught up in one particular story -- a story that links a sketch, a young boy's life, an old man's reminiscence, and a painful secret dating back to the outrages of Nazi Germany. It's a story that will take them to the edge of what they know about heroism and the mystery of the human heart.

Two-time Newbery winner E. L. Konigsburg spins a magnificent tale of art, discovery, friendship, history, and truth.]]> 244 E.L. Konigsburg 1416949720 Cara 4 fun-or-frivolity, scribd 3.37 2007
author: E.L. Konigsburg
name: Cara
average rating: 3.37
book published: 2007
rating: 4
read at: 2024/10/08
date added: 2024/10/08
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, scribd
review:
Not quite sure what to make of this story. It kept pulling me forward—very well done in that regard. But I found it a little hollow overall.
]]> 3980
When Claudia decided to run away, she planned very carefully. She would be gone just long enough to teach her parents a lesson in Claudia appreciation. And she would go in comfort - she would live at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. She saved her money, and she invited her brother Jamie to go, mostly because he was a miser and would have money.

Claudia was a good organizer and Jamie had some ideas, too; so the two took up residence at the museum right on schedule. But once the fun of settling in was over, Claudia had two unexpected problems: She felt just the same, and she wanted to feel different; and she found a statue at the Museum so beautiful she could not go home until she had discovered its maker, a question that baffled the experts, too.

The former owner of the statue was Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. Without her - well, without her, Claudia might never have found a way to go home.]]> 159 E.L. Konigsburg 0744583276 Cara 4 fun-or-frivolity, scribd
I’m not sure how old I was when I read this the first time. Sixth grade maybe? Sometime around there. It’s a classic that I can’t imagine not remembering, although the details had faded. ]]> 4.16 1967
author: E.L. Konigsburg
name: Cara
average rating: 4.16
book published: 1967
rating: 4
read at: 2024/10/07
date added: 2024/10/08
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, scribd
review:
After reading One Mixed Up Day, I wanted to re-experience the book that started it all. I also watched the movie, which is so corny 70s but still captures the book very well.

I’m not sure how old I was when I read this the first time. Sixth grade maybe? Sometime around there. It’s a classic that I can’t imagine not remembering, although the details had faded.
]]> 34050863 Two best friends on the run... to IKEA.

Frankie and Walter aren't really running away. Just like the kids in their favorite book, they are running to somewhere. Specifically, a massive furniture store. They've been obsessed with the Ikea catalog for years. So they make a plan, pack their backpacks, give their parents the sleepover switcheroo . . . and they're in.

One night all on their own, with no grown-ups or little brothers.

One night of couch jumping, pillow forts, and unlimited soda refills.

One night of surprises and twinkle lights and secrets they have been keeping--and waiting to share.

One unforgettable night in Ikea.

A tribute to the beloved classic From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler! Only, instead of running away to the Metropolitan Museum, these kids are running away to somewhere a little more modern...]]> 208 Catherine Newman 0399553886 Cara 4 fun-or-frivolity
Then it turned sad, and it made me so very sad.

I have no idea if this book captures how kids really feel, but it sure captures how I remember/imagine my child self felt.

The author did a great job of making me feel, and she did bring it around to a good resolution for everything. But unfortunately, what’s lingering for me is the sadness. ]]> 3.71 2017
author: Catherine Newman
name: Cara
average rating: 3.71
book published: 2017
rating: 4
read at: 2024/10/06
date added: 2024/10/07
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
At first, this book made me so happy. I loved Frankie and the beautiful way she saw the world and her love for her friend. And I loved From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, so I loved that the kids were creating their own version.

Then it turned sad, and it made me so very sad.

I have no idea if this book captures how kids really feel, but it sure captures how I remember/imagine my child self felt.

The author did a great job of making me feel, and she did bring it around to a good resolution for everything. But unfortunately, what’s lingering for me is the sadness.
]]> 377204
The premise is A person's ideal life, especially their career, can be carefully conceived and crafted. Based on Dr. Rao's popular course "Creativity and Personal Mastery" at Columbia University's Graduate School of Business, this book offers a series of readings, exercises, and lessons drawn from both spiritual and commercial situations that enable you to reconstruct and improve your professional world. This transformation will turn your life around and help you become exponentially more effective in your chosen career, and thereby flourish in all aspects of your life. Whether you are questioning the value of money or the core values of your life, this book is a powerful tool that will help you to "discover the purpose that can suffuse your life and bring stars to your eyes."]]> 255 Srikumar Rao 1401301932 Cara 0 to-read 4.16
author: Srikumar Rao
name: Cara
average rating: 4.16
book published:
rating: 0
read at:
date added: 2024/10/03
shelves: to-read
review:
Recommended by Corbett Barr
]]> 122977981
Riley Rhodes finally has the chance to turn her family’s knack for the supernatural into a legitimate business when she’s hired to break the curse on an infamous Scottish castle. Used to working alone in her alienating occupation, she's pleasantly surprised to meet a handsome stranger upon arrival—until he tries to get her fired.

Fresh off a professional scandal, Clark Edgeware can’t allow a self-proclaimed “curse breaker�� to threaten his last chance for redemption. After he fails to get Riley kicked off his survey site, he vows to avoid her. Unfortunately for him, she vows to get even.

Riley expects the curse to do her dirty work by driving Clark away, but instead, they keep finding themselves in close proximity. Too close. Turns out, the only thing they do better than fight is fool around. If they’re not careful, by the end of all this, more than the castle will end up in ruins.]]> 317 Rosie Danan 0593437144 Cara 2 fun-or-frivolity
Oh, and [spoilers removed] nooooooooo! I didn’t like most of the sex in this book, come to think of it, but that particular scene was just a bucket of wtf with a heaping scoop of nope on top.

Yet I still somewhat enjoyed this book. I’m not sorry this author hasn’t published any more, though.]]> 3.44 2023
author: Rosie Danan
name: Cara
average rating: 3.44
book published: 2023
rating: 2
read at: 2024/10/02
date added: 2024/10/03
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
This book had an even dumber premise than the other two I’ve read by this author, and I hate the “we hate each other so it must be true love!�� trope. And too many wacky hijinks.

Oh, and [spoilers removed] nooooooooo! I didn’t like most of the sex in this book, come to think of it, but that particular scene was just a bucket of wtf with a heaping scoop of nope on top.

Yet I still somewhat enjoyed this book. I’m not sorry this author hasn’t published any more, though.
]]> 54614561 Naomi and Ethan will test the boundaries of love in this provocative romance from the author of the ground-breaking debut, The Roommate.

Naomi Grant has built her life around going against the grain. After the sex-positive start-up she cofounded becomes an international sensation, she wants to extend her educational platform to live lecturing. Unfortunately, despite her long list of qualifications, higher ed won't hire her.

Ethan Cohen has recently received two honors: LA Mag named him one of the city's hottest bachelors and he became rabbi of his own synagogue. Taking a gamble in an effort to attract more millennials to the faith, the executive board hired Ethan because of his nontraditional background. Unfortunately, his shul is low on both funds and congregants. The board gives him three months to turn things around or else they'll close the doors of his synagogue for good.

Naomi and Ethan join forces to host a buzzy seminar series on Modern Intimacy, the perfect solution to their problems--until they discover a new one--their growing attraction to each other. They've built the syllabus for love's latest experiment, but neither of them expected they'd be the ones putting it to the test.]]> 323 Rosie Danan 0593101626 Cara 3 fun-or-frivolity 3.59 2021
author: Rosie Danan
name: Cara
average rating: 3.59
book published: 2021
rating: 3
read at: 2024/09/29
date added: 2024/09/29
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
This was a weird book with a lot of themes and threads that didn’t fully come together for me. She was so spiky, but he made her soft. He’s a rabbi, but he still wanted wild sex with a former sex worker. I don’t know. It all just seemed unnecessarily extreme, and the distances never really came together convincingly. And then they each gave a terrible lecture and then everything was suddenly happy ever after. I guess I didn’t find the love 100% convincing, and I don’t find the resolution 100% convincing either.
]]> 15852515 Fifty Shades of Grey meets Jenny Han’s Summer series in this sequel to The Vincent Boys, where hot romance is the cure for heartbreak. Getting a boy to fall head-over-heels in love with you isn’t easy. Especially when he’s been in love with your cousin for as long as you can remember.

Lana has lived her life in her cousin’s shadow. Ashton always made perfect grades, had tons of friends, and looks model-perfect. And she’s always had Sawyer Vincent—the only boy Lana’s ever wanted—wrapped around her finger. But now things are different. Lana has a chance to make Sawyer see her, and she’s taking it. If only he’d get over Ashton—because Lana is sick of second-best.

Sawyer’s heart is broken. He’s lost his best girl to his best friend. And then Lana comes to town. Ashton’s cousin has always been sweet and soft-spoken, but now she’s drop-dead gorgeous as well. Sawyer doesn’t know if Lana can heal his broken heart, but spending time with her might at least make Ashton jealous.

What starts as a carefree fling becomes a lusty game of seduction. Sawyer and Lana may have different motives, but their scintillating hookups are the same kind of steamy. . . .]]> 208 Abbi Glines 1442485272 Cara 3 fun-or-frivolity 4.12 2012
author: Abbi Glines
name: Cara
average rating: 4.12
book published: 2012
rating: 3
read at: 2020/11/28
date added: 2024/09/28
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
This book is pretty dumb and melodramatic, but I still enjoyed it. Apparently I’m in the mood for really stupid books right now.
]]> 45023611 House Rules:
Do your own dishes.
Knock before entering the bathroom.
Never look up your roommate online.

The Wheatons are infamous among the east coast elite for their lack of impulse control, except for their daughter Clara. She’s the consummate socialite: over-achieving, well-mannered, predictable. But every Wheaton has their weakness. When Clara’s childhood crush invites her to move cross-country, the offer is too much to resist. Unfortunately, it’s also too good to be true.

After a bait-and-switch, Clara finds herself sharing a lease with a charming stranger. Josh might be a bit too perceptive—not to mention handsome—for comfort, but there’s a good chance he and Clara could have survived sharing a summer sublet if she hadn’t looked him up on the Internet...

Once she learns how Josh has made a name for himself, Clara realizes living with him might make her the Wheaton’s most scandalous story yet. His professional prowess inspires her to take tackling the stigma against female desire into her own hands. They may not agree on much, but Josh and Clara both believe women deserve better sex. What they decide to do about it will change both of their lives, and if they’re lucky, they’ll help everyone else get lucky too.]]> 325 Rosie Danan 059310160X Cara 4 fun-or-frivolity 3.53 2020
author: Rosie Danan
name: Cara
average rating: 3.53
book published: 2020
rating: 4
read at: 2024/09/28
date added: 2024/09/28
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
This was one of the cutest books ever. Clara’s uprightness got a little old sometimes, but otherwise, it was such a treat.
]]> 50408043
Seventeen-year-old Emily Mars would give up purgatory patrol in a heartbeat if it meant digging up some normalcy. So when a moment of compassion gets her banned from service, she takes the time off to focus on securing a cross-country scholarship. But just two days before the championship race, the sidelined spiritual warrior is approached by a ghost desperate to find his missing sister.

Defying orders, Emily sets out to assist the dead teen before he morphs into a ravenous killer. But with her dreamy running partner and fellow Ranger refusing to help, her solo journey could destroy her future…and her life.

Will Emily’s courage and skill keep evil at bay, or will her impetuous rebellion bear deadly consequences?

Dying Ember, Olden Ash is the first episode in the binge-worthy Rangers of the Rift YA urban fantasy series, perfect for readers who like action-packed suspense, supernatural mysteries, a scoop of horror, and a blush of romance.

�� Content warning: Horror elements, atheism, language]]> 71 River K. Scott 1951899008 Cara 5 fun-or-frivolity, kindle
Merged review:

Strong characters I really like, having adventures in a cool and well-drawn world. I read this all in one sitting, and I want more. I need the next episode NOW!]]> 4.11 2020
author: River K. Scott
name: Cara
average rating: 4.11
book published: 2020
rating: 5
read at: 2020/01/13
date added: 2024/09/27
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle
review:
Strong characters I really like, having adventures in a cool and well-drawn world. I read this all in one sitting, and I want more. I need the next episode NOW!

Merged review:

Strong characters I really like, having adventures in a cool and well-drawn world. I read this all in one sitting, and I want more. I need the next episode NOW!
]]> 19030009



What makes Karen Baney a creditable authority? �� In addition to 20 years in business, she holds a Masters of Business Administration from Arizona State University.�� In her second year as a published author she achieved over 200,000 eBook downloads. Whether you’re a new or veteran author, 10 Keys to eBook Marketing Success can help you learn how to sell books online and improve your marketing plan.]]> 80 Karen Baney 0985586222 Cara 3 kindle, internet-tycoon
- Originally, Amazon counted free downloads the same as sales. They stopped this practice in March 2012--right before I released my first book. That totally explains why it didn't have the huge effects I was expecting.
- Although the author argues that other sites besides Amazon are well worth pursuing, she backs this up by saying that after six months of efforts in marketing her books on Barnes & Noble, they went from 1% of her sales to 10-20%. Woo! Think I'll stick with Amazon.
- "The Taleist Survey showed that self-published authors who outsourced editing, copying editing and proofreading made 13% more than the average survey respondent. Add cover art to this mix and their earnings rose to 34% above average—the cover alone contributed an 18% increase. Conversely, those who did it all earned 38% below average.[1]" Yes!!! Please learn this, people!
- Step By Step Self Publishing is a good source of reviewers. In her experience, about 50% of those approached will ask for a review copy, and about 50% of those will actually review.

List of places to advertise in book.

Sources of interest (linked in book):
[1] Cornford, D., & Lewis, S. (2012). Chapter 2: The Self-Publishing House. Not A Gold Rush - The Taleist Self-Publishing Survey. Taleist. [3] Robertson, E. W. (2012, 05 18). Updates To Amazon's Book Ranking Algorithms: The Death of 99-Cent Ebooks? An End to KDP Select Perks? (L. Buroker, Interviewer) [4] Robertson, E. W. (2012, 05 18). Updates To Amazon's Book Ranking Algorithms: The Death of 99-Cent Ebooks? An End to KDP Select Perks? (L. Buroker, Interviewer)

Merged review:

Got this in a free promo. There's nothing surprising or earth-shattering here, but it does a thorough job of covering the basics. It also includes a few facts, with actual research or sources, that I was happy to learn or have confirmed:

- Originally, Amazon counted free downloads the same as sales. They stopped this practice in March 2012--right before I released my first book. That totally explains why it didn't have the huge effects I was expecting.
- Although the author argues that other sites besides Amazon are well worth pursuing, she backs this up by saying that after six months of efforts in marketing her books on Barnes & Noble, they went from 1% of her sales to 10-20%. Woo! Think I'll stick with Amazon.
- "The Taleist Survey showed that self-published authors who outsourced editing, copying editing and proofreading made 13% more than the average survey respondent. Add cover art to this mix and their earnings rose to 34% above average—the cover alone contributed an 18% increase. Conversely, those who did it all earned 38% below average.[1]" Yes!!! Please learn this, people!
- Step By Step Self Publishing is a good source of reviewers. In her experience, about 50% of those approached will ask for a review copy, and about 50% of those will actually review.

List of places to advertise in book.

Sources of interest (linked in book):
[1] Cornford, D., & Lewis, S. (2012). Chapter 2: The Self-Publishing House. Not A Gold Rush - The Taleist Self-Publishing Survey. Taleist. [3] Robertson, E. W. (2012, 05 18). Updates To Amazon's Book Ranking Algorithms: The Death of 99-Cent Ebooks? An End to KDP Select Perks? (L. Buroker, Interviewer) [4] Robertson, E. W. (2012, 05 18). Updates To Amazon's Book Ranking Algorithms: The Death of 99-Cent Ebooks? An End to KDP Select Perks? (L. Buroker, Interviewer)]]> 4.36 2013
author: Karen Baney
name: Cara
average rating: 4.36
book published: 2013
rating: 3
read at: 2013/03/24
date added: 2024/09/26
shelves: kindle, internet-tycoon
review:
Got this in a free promo. There's nothing surprising or earth-shattering here, but it does a thorough job of covering the basics. It also includes a few facts, with actual research or sources, that I was happy to learn or have confirmed:

- Originally, Amazon counted free downloads the same as sales. They stopped this practice in March 2012--right before I released my first book. That totally explains why it didn't have the huge effects I was expecting.
- Although the author argues that other sites besides Amazon are well worth pursuing, she backs this up by saying that after six months of efforts in marketing her books on Barnes & Noble, they went from 1% of her sales to 10-20%. Woo! Think I'll stick with Amazon.
- "The Taleist Survey showed that self-published authors who outsourced editing, copying editing and proofreading made 13% more than the average survey respondent. Add cover art to this mix and their earnings rose to 34% above average—the cover alone contributed an 18% increase. Conversely, those who did it all earned 38% below average.[1]" Yes!!! Please learn this, people!
- Step By Step Self Publishing is a good source of reviewers. In her experience, about 50% of those approached will ask for a review copy, and about 50% of those will actually review.

List of places to advertise in book.

Sources of interest (linked in book):
[1] Cornford, D., & Lewis, S. (2012). Chapter 2: The Self-Publishing House. Not A Gold Rush - The Taleist Self-Publishing Survey. Taleist. [3] Robertson, E. W. (2012, 05 18). Updates To Amazon's Book Ranking Algorithms: The Death of 99-Cent Ebooks? An End to KDP Select Perks? (L. Buroker, Interviewer) [4] Robertson, E. W. (2012, 05 18). Updates To Amazon's Book Ranking Algorithms: The Death of 99-Cent Ebooks? An End to KDP Select Perks? (L. Buroker, Interviewer)

Merged review:

Got this in a free promo. There's nothing surprising or earth-shattering here, but it does a thorough job of covering the basics. It also includes a few facts, with actual research or sources, that I was happy to learn or have confirmed:

- Originally, Amazon counted free downloads the same as sales. They stopped this practice in March 2012--right before I released my first book. That totally explains why it didn't have the huge effects I was expecting.
- Although the author argues that other sites besides Amazon are well worth pursuing, she backs this up by saying that after six months of efforts in marketing her books on Barnes & Noble, they went from 1% of her sales to 10-20%. Woo! Think I'll stick with Amazon.
- "The Taleist Survey showed that self-published authors who outsourced editing, copying editing and proofreading made 13% more than the average survey respondent. Add cover art to this mix and their earnings rose to 34% above average—the cover alone contributed an 18% increase. Conversely, those who did it all earned 38% below average.[1]" Yes!!! Please learn this, people!
- Step By Step Self Publishing is a good source of reviewers. In her experience, about 50% of those approached will ask for a review copy, and about 50% of those will actually review.

List of places to advertise in book.

Sources of interest (linked in book):
[1] Cornford, D., & Lewis, S. (2012). Chapter 2: The Self-Publishing House. Not A Gold Rush - The Taleist Self-Publishing Survey. Taleist. [3] Robertson, E. W. (2012, 05 18). Updates To Amazon's Book Ranking Algorithms: The Death of 99-Cent Ebooks? An End to KDP Select Perks? (L. Buroker, Interviewer) [4] Robertson, E. W. (2012, 05 18). Updates To Amazon's Book Ranking Algorithms: The Death of 99-Cent Ebooks? An End to KDP Select Perks? (L. Buroker, Interviewer)
]]> 34964905 A powerful, revealing story of hope, love, justice, and the power of reading by a man who spent thirty years on death row for a crime he didn't commit.

In 1985, Anthony Ray Hinton was arrested and charged with two counts of capital murder in Alabama. Stunned, confused, and only twenty-nine years old, Hinton knew that it was a case of mistaken identity and believed that the truth would prove his innocence and ultimately set him free.

But with no money and a different system of justice for a poor black man in the South, Hinton was sentenced to death by electrocution. He spent his first three years on Death Row at Holman State Prison in agonizing silence—full of despair and anger toward all those who had sent an innocent man to his death. But as Hinton realized and accepted his fate, he resolved not only to survive, but find a way to live on Death Row. For the next twenty-seven years he was a beacon—transforming not only his own spirit, but those of his fellow inmates, fifty-four of whom were executed mere feet from his cell. With the help of civil rights attorney and bestselling author of Just Mercy, Bryan Stevenson, Hinton won his release in 2015.

With a foreword by Stevenson, The Sun Does Shine is an extraordinary testament to the power of hope sustained through the darkest times. Destined to be a classic memoir of wrongful imprisonment and freedom won, Hinton’s memoir tells his dramatic thirty-year journey and shows how you can take away a man’s freedom, but you can’t take away his imagination, humor, or joy.]]> 272 Anthony Ray Hinton 1250124719 Cara 4
What I loved about this book was how it showed me everyone’s humanity. Well, maybe not the corrupt judge and district attorney, but the other inmates and the guards on death row. For these seemingly terrifying people from all different sides to get together and form a book club, and go beyond that to make a de facto family�� that just blew me away.

This book has opened my eyes to a reality I knew nothing about before, and I’m glad I read it.

I also think it’s really interesting that this book has the same message as Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. I guess it’s true in all the darkest places. ]]> 4.64 2018
author: Anthony Ray Hinton
name: Cara
average rating: 4.64
book published: 2018
rating: 4
read at: 2024/09/25
date added: 2024/09/25
shelves: about-real-people, kindle-unlimited
review:
This is much more serious than anything I normally read, and I was surprised at how much it pulled me in. On one hand, I knew it would be a sad story and probably make me feel a lot, and I didn’t really want that. But on the other hand, it seemed important to read. That’s why I started reading, but I kept going because I was invested.

What I loved about this book was how it showed me everyone’s humanity. Well, maybe not the corrupt judge and district attorney, but the other inmates and the guards on death row. For these seemingly terrifying people from all different sides to get together and form a book club, and go beyond that to make a de facto family�� that just blew me away.

This book has opened my eyes to a reality I knew nothing about before, and I’m glad I read it.

I also think it’s really interesting that this book has the same message as Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. I guess it’s true in all the darkest places.
]]> 201294595 Part memoir, part explosive window into the mind of a catfisher, a thrilling personal account of three women coming face-to-face with an internet predator and teaming up to expose them

In 2011 three successful and highly educated women fell head over heels for the brilliant and charming Ethan Schuman. Unbeknownst to the others, each exchanged countless messages with Ethan, staying up late into the evenings to deepen their connections with this fascinating man. His detailed excuses about broken webcams and complicated international calling plans seemed believable, as did last-minute trip cancellations. After all, why would he lie? Ethan wasn't after money—he never convinced his marks to shell out thousands of dollars for some imagined crisis. Rather, he ensnared these women in a web of intense emotional intimacy.

After the trio independently began to question inconsistencies in their new flame's stories, they managed to find one another and uncover a greater deception than they could have ever imagined. As Anna Akbari and the women untangled their catfish’s web, they found other victims and realized that without a proper crime, there was no legal reason for “Ethan�� to ever stop.

There is No Ethan catalogues Akbari's experience as both victim and observer. By looking at the bigger picture—a world where technology mediates our relationships; where words and images are easily manipulated; and where truth, reality, and identity have become slippery terms—Akbari provides an explanation for why these stories matter.]]> 304 Anna Akbari 1538742195 Cara 3
It makes me feel a bit less stupid for staying in some of my bad relationships. Hey, at least those guys were real! But even so, I found myself getting impatient with these women for putting up with so much for so long.

I wish there was some way the person behind Ethan could be stopped, but I don’t think there is. ]]> 3.57 2024
author: Anna Akbari
name: Cara
average rating: 3.57
book published: 2024
rating: 3
read at: 2024/09/24
date added: 2024/09/24
shelves: about-real-people, fun-or-frivolity
review:
Fascinating, depressing story. It’s so sad (and relatable) that all of these women who had so much to offer were so starved for connection and attention that they put up with all this crazy shit, sometimes for years!

It makes me feel a bit less stupid for staying in some of my bad relationships. Hey, at least those guys were real! But even so, I found myself getting impatient with these women for putting up with so much for so long.

I wish there was some way the person behind Ethan could be stopped, but I don’t think there is.
]]> 10156145 226 Sascha Rothchild 1101195622 Cara 2 3.38 2010
author: Sascha Rothchild
name: Cara
average rating: 3.38
book published: 2010
rating: 2
read at:
date added: 2024/09/23
shelves: returning-unfinished, about-real-people
review:
I picked this book up because I've lived a similar scenario and thought it would be funny, especially given the two quotes on the cover saying was so hilarious I'd fall out of my chair or whatever. However, by p. 75 it's only made me laugh maybe three times while mostly being really depressing. Back it goes.
]]> 205098830 Two converging mysteries compel a woman’s search for the truth in a captivating novel about loss, love, family, and healing by the USA Today bestselling author of When We Believed in Mermaids.

Biographer Ellie Connor is in Gideon, Texas, to research blues singer Mabel Beauvais who, on the verge of fame, mysteriously disappeared more than forty years ago. Gideon holds another mystery for Ellie. It’s the truth about her parents—a restless mother who died young and a father she never knew. They are an unsettled piece of Ellie’s own past. Somewhere in this town is the answer to both of her quests.

No one is more accommodating than charismatic Laurence “Blue�� Reynard, a local with deep roots in Gideon. Sexy and charming, he’s also getting under Ellie’s skin like a smooth jazz rhythm. Yet beneath his seductive facade is a soul damaged by loss. Tragic, wanting, and beautiful. So wrong for a woman just passing through town. If only his passion and vulnerability weren’t so irresistible.

As Ellie pieces together Mabel’s puzzling life and that of her father, Blue takes the surprising journey with her. What then for Ellie? Follow her instincts and say goodbye, or follow her heart?

Revised This edition of In the Midnight Rain includes editorial revisions.]]> 318 Barbara O'Neal 1662521340 Cara 1
I’m at 59%, and so far, it’s just been a lot of tedious, repetitive anticipation that these two will have sex. Oh, but she mustn’t, because then she’ll get attached, and he’s obviously just another wounded baby bird! Oh, but how can she resist, because he’s hot and charming? Repeat ad nauseam.

I’m seriously considering DNF’ing. I do not care about either of these boring shell characters, and I really don’t care if they ever have sex or not.

��
Ok, they just had sex and it was the worst. The author kept saying “his organ�� over and over like it was some kind of bad writing drinking game. Oh, and the guy roared like a lion when he came. I am not making this up.

��
Why do we need to hear on and on about how pretty this chick is not? Does the author think all her readers are ugly and this is aspirational?

And why the fuck does he keep calling her “little girl��??? So creepy!

��
Ok, this guy is a big stupid selfish coward, and if this author thinks he can redeem himself with only 6% of the book left, she’s nuts.

��
Wait a minute, was all that stuff about Ellie not being pretty because she’s half black? That’s super offensive. I can’t believe they published this. ]]> 4.43 2000
author: Barbara O'Neal
name: Cara
average rating: 4.43
book published: 2000
rating: 1
read at: 2024/09/23
date added: 2024/09/23
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
This author has written one of my favorite books�� and she also wrote this one.

I’m at 59%, and so far, it’s just been a lot of tedious, repetitive anticipation that these two will have sex. Oh, but she mustn’t, because then she’ll get attached, and he’s obviously just another wounded baby bird! Oh, but how can she resist, because he’s hot and charming? Repeat ad nauseam.

I’m seriously considering DNF’ing. I do not care about either of these boring shell characters, and I really don’t care if they ever have sex or not.

��
Ok, they just had sex and it was the worst. The author kept saying “his organ�� over and over like it was some kind of bad writing drinking game. Oh, and the guy roared like a lion when he came. I am not making this up.

��
Why do we need to hear on and on about how pretty this chick is not? Does the author think all her readers are ugly and this is aspirational?

And why the fuck does he keep calling her “little girl��??? So creepy!

��
Ok, this guy is a big stupid selfish coward, and if this author thinks he can redeem himself with only 6% of the book left, she’s nuts.

��
Wait a minute, was all that stuff about Ellie not being pretty because she’s half black? That’s super offensive. I can’t believe they published this.
]]> 58328377 ���ձ�> 160 Catherine Newman 1635864348 Cara 4 life 4.27 2022
author: Catherine Newman
name: Cara
average rating: 4.27
book published: 2022
rating: 4
read at: 2024/09/22
date added: 2024/09/22
shelves: life
review:
I often feel like I have no idea what I’m doing or how to work this life. But people usually explain things simply and clearly to kids, so I thought maybe this book would be like the missing manual for life. Everything in here seemed pretty obvious, though. I guess I’m better at this than I thought.
]]> 58724801 Hannah Brooks looks more like a kindergarten teacher than somebody who could kill you with her bare hands. But the truth is, she's an elite bodyguard and she's just been hired to protect a superstar actor from his stalker.

Jack Stapleton's a Hollywood heartthrob - captured by paparazzi on beaches the world over, rising out of the waves in clingy board shorts and glistening like a Roman deity.

When Jack's mom gets sick, he comes home to the family's Texas ranch to help out. Only one catch: He doesn't want his family to know about his stalker. Or the bodyguard thing. And so Hannah - against her will and her better judgment - finds herself pretending to be Jack's girlfriend as a cover.

Protecting Jack should be easy. But protecting her own heart? That's the hardest thing she's ever done...]]> 302 Katherine Center 1250219396 Cara 4 3.94 2022
author: Katherine Center
name: Cara
average rating: 3.94
book published: 2022
rating: 4
read at: 2024/09/21
date added: 2024/09/21
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
Super cute book that gave me a lot of happies. Definitely recommend.
]]> 36249638
In the hospital and forced to face the possibility that nothing will ever be the same again, Margaret must figure out how to move forward on her own terms while facing long-held family secrets, devastating heartbreak, and the idea that love might find her in the last place she would ever expect.]]> 302 Katherine Center 1250149061 Cara 4
But mostly what impressed me was how breathtakingly awful all these people kept being to her.

And yet, it was still a pretty enjoyable book.
]]> 4.06 2018
author: Katherine Center
name: Cara
average rating: 4.06
book published: 2018
rating: 4
read at: 2024/09/19
date added: 2024/09/19
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
This was a well-written book, and I cared about the characters. Some parts seemed kind of dumb, like why would the guy kiss her at a party at the hospital. Was he trying to lose his job and his license? And she’s going to show up at Chip’s wedding, really?

But mostly what impressed me was how breathtakingly awful all these people kept being to her.

And yet, it was still a pretty enjoyable book.

]]> 200028726 From the beloved author of We All Want Impossible Things, a moving, hilarious story of a family summer vacation full of secrets, lunch, and learning to let go.

For the past two decades, Rocky has looked forward to her family’s yearly escape to Cape Cod. Their humble beach-town rental has been the site of sweet memories, sunny days, great meals, and messes of all kinds: emotional, marital, and—thanks to the cottage’s ancient plumbing—septic too.

This year’s vacation, with Rocky sandwiched between her half-grown kids and fully aging parents, promises to be just as delightful as summers past—except, perhaps, for Rocky’s hormonal bouts of rage and melancholy. (Hello, menopause!) Her body is changing—her life is, too. And then a chain of events sends Rocky into the past, reliving both the tenderness and sorrow of a handful of long-ago summers.

It's one precious week: everything is in balance; everything is in flux. And when Rocky comes face to face with her family’s history and future, she is forced to accept that she can no longer hide her secrets from the people she loves.]]> 240 Catherine Newman 0063345161 Cara 5
The weird thing about this is I’m supposed to relate to Rocky. I’m only six years younger than she is. But I was still reading her, feeling like she might help me understand what it’s like to be my mom.

The difference is, this family was so companionable. Even when the daughter is like “Mo-o-om!��, it still feels like it’s mostly in a loving way, and when they get some one-on-one time, it’s clear they’re close.

Between Rocky and her husband, same thing.

My family doesn’t feel like that.

Has this book helped me understand my mother? I don’t know. Maybe. Either way, I sure enjoyed reading it. ]]> 3.55 2024
author: Catherine Newman
name: Cara
average rating: 3.55
book published: 2024
rating: 5
read at: 2024/09/18
date added: 2024/09/18
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
This book was really good. The author brought all the characters to life and made them so real and so lovable in the midst of all their flaws. Even Rocky, the main character and narrator, is bitchy and unhinged but I feel a lot of fondness for her.

The weird thing about this is I’m supposed to relate to Rocky. I’m only six years younger than she is. But I was still reading her, feeling like she might help me understand what it’s like to be my mom.

The difference is, this family was so companionable. Even when the daughter is like “Mo-o-om!��, it still feels like it’s mostly in a loving way, and when they get some one-on-one time, it’s clear they’re close.

Between Rocky and her husband, same thing.

My family doesn’t feel like that.

Has this book helped me understand my mother? I don’t know. Maybe. Either way, I sure enjoyed reading it.
]]> 63247365
“Emotional, relatable and binge-worthy." –Tessa Bailey

“I’ll read anything she writes. An absolute star." –Emily Henry

“I was hooked on the very first page. Don't miss this one!" �� Carley Fortune

Two writers with a complicated history end up working on the same TV show. Can they write themselves a new ending? A sexy and emotional enemies-to-lovers romance guaranteed to pull on your heartstrings and give you a book hangover from brilliant new voice Yulin Kuang

Helen Zhang hasn’t seen Grant Shepard once in the thirteen years since the tragic accident that bound their lives together forever.

Now a bestselling author, Helen pours everything into her career. She’s even scored a coveted spot in the writers�� room of the TV adaptation of her popular young adult novels, and if she can hide her imposter syndrome and overcome her writer’s block, surely the rest of her life will fall into place too. LA is the fresh start she needs. After all, no one knows her there. Except��

Grant has done everything in his power to move on from the past, including building a life across the country. And while the panic attacks have never quite gone away, he’s well liked around town as a screenwriter. He knows he shouldn’t have taken the job on Helen’s show, but it will open doors to developing his own projects that he just can’t pass up.

Grant’s exactly as Helen remembers him—charming, funny, popular, and lovable in ways that she’s never been. And Helen’s exactly as Grant remembers too—brilliant, beautiful, closed off. But working together is messy, and electrifying, and Helen’s parents, who have never forgiven Grant, have no idea he’s in the picture at all.

When secrets come to light, they must reckon with the fact that theirs was never meant to be any kind of love story. And yet�� the key to making peace with their past—and themselves—might just lie in holding on to each other in the present.]]> 384 Yulin Kuang Cara 3 fun-or-frivolity
Now at 32, Helen’s book is getting made into a tv series and Grant is one of the screenwriters.

At first, she’s all hateful and bitchy to him, and she’s still doing the high school nerd, no social skills, can’t get along with anyone thing. But then the show runner makes them all go camping together and someone gives her a pot gummy on a hike. The fact of being included enough to be offered the gummy is a turning point for her. She suddenly feels like she belongs after all. And then the pot loosens her up, and that helps, too. Things start working with the writers.

She also lets go of being an asshole to Grant, and over a very long time, they fall in love. But oh no, what will they do about her parents? They’d never be ok with her dating the boy who killed her sister!

I mean, it is awkward certainly. But eventually they find out he’s working on the show and they have their meltdown. Then they find out she’s been dating him and have another. So I’d figure, well, that sucked but we got through it. Might as well admit we love each and let this become a real thing now. But instead she breaks up with him and they have a series of “I’ll never see/speak to you again!�� ultimatum incidents. I found that all so unnecessary. But then they do get back together after all, and after all that fuss, there’s no more solution to the parent problem than “they’ll just have to deal with it.��

In that way, this book really failed to come together, as far as I’m concerned. But I did enjoy the writing. And the characters, once they got the sticks out of their asses. I’d read more by this author.

I’d say my favorite part of this book was the writers�� room once they all started clicking and became friends. It was really fun to see how they all worked together. It made me a bit envious of having a team like that. ]]> 3.61 2024
author: Yulin Kuang
name: Cara
average rating: 3.61
book published: 2024
rating: 3
read at: 2024/09/18
date added: 2024/09/18
shelves: fun-or-frivolity
review:
Back in high school, Helen’s sister committed suicide by jumping in front of a car. That car was being driven by Grant, the homecoming king. But apparently there wasn’t more to that story, just chance, a small town, and really bad luck.

Now at 32, Helen’s book is getting made into a tv series and Grant is one of the screenwriters.

At first, she’s all hateful and bitchy to him, and she’s still doing the high school nerd, no social skills, can’t get along with anyone thing. But then the show runner makes them all go camping together and someone gives her a pot gummy on a hike. The fact of being included enough to be offered the gummy is a turning point for her. She suddenly feels like she belongs after all. And then the pot loosens her up, and that helps, too. Things start working with the writers.

She also lets go of being an asshole to Grant, and over a very long time, they fall in love. But oh no, what will they do about her parents? They’d never be ok with her dating the boy who killed her sister!

I mean, it is awkward certainly. But eventually they find out he’s working on the show and they have their meltdown. Then they find out she’s been dating him and have another. So I’d figure, well, that sucked but we got through it. Might as well admit we love each and let this become a real thing now. But instead she breaks up with him and they have a series of “I’ll never see/speak to you again!�� ultimatum incidents. I found that all so unnecessary. But then they do get back together after all, and after all that fuss, there’s no more solution to the parent problem than “they’ll just have to deal with it.��

In that way, this book really failed to come together, as far as I’m concerned. But I did enjoy the writing. And the characters, once they got the sticks out of their asses. I’d read more by this author.

I’d say my favorite part of this book was the writers�� room once they all started clicking and became friends. It was really fun to see how they all worked together. It made me a bit envious of having a team like that.
]]> 211179727 From USA Today bestselling author Rebecca Jenshak comes a standalone fake dating sports romance. This steamy, grumpy / sunshine football romance delivers a swoony and emotional happily ever after.

Brogan Six’s fan mail has been filling my mailbox for weeks. With every lipstick covered letter I receive, my irritation with him grows. And let’s not talk about the time I accidentally opened one of the packages to find someone had sent him their panties. Gross.

When I come face-to-face with my new nemesis, I expect to give him a piece of my mind and we’ll go our separate ways. Me to an empty mailbox and him to sift through his panty collection.

That is not what happens.

I don’t know if it was the booze, his clever wit, or if I was tricked (I’m sure I was tricked), but now I’m fake dating the Mavericks�� hot new rookie.

And I might just be the next woman to lose her panties to Brogan Six.

Playbook is a standalone fake dating, grumpy/sunshine sports romance with banter, found family, spice, and a guaranteed happily ever after.]]> 460 Rebecca Jenshak 1951815742 Cara 4 4.08
author: Rebecca Jenshak
name: Cara
average rating: 4.08
book published:
rating: 4
read at: 2024/08/12
date added: 2024/09/09
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:

]]> 201144140 New York Times bestselling author of the Briar U series Elle Kennedy’s first hockey romance, Body Check, is now released in an expanded version, with both new and enhanced scenes by the author! More story, more hockey—and more heat!

After a childhood spent being dragged around the country by her hockey coach father, Hayden Houston intends to take some time to figure out her future. Whether that future will include her currently off-again boyfriend remains to be seen. What it certainly won’t include is the for-one-night-only guy she just met at a bar.

It seems hockey star Brody Croft did not get the memo about being temporary. Big, bold and driven, he’s dedicated in everything he does. Up till now, that’s been his team—the one owned by Hayden’s dad. But his night with Hayden has sparked something he didn’t expect. The two of them are good together. Really good. There’s a connection he’s never experienced before, one he knows they’d be wrong to ignore. Even with a game-fixing scandal testing both their loyalties—to teammates, to friends…to family.

Part of Hayden wants to turn tail and run. A complicated relationship with a bad boy hockey player is exactly what she never wanted. But when it comes to Brody, Hayden is realizing that people can be so much more than what they seem.]]> 304 Elle Kennedy 1335425535 Cara 4
All in all, it was sexy but nothing outstanding. ]]> 3.36 2009
author: Elle Kennedy
name: Cara
average rating: 3.36
book published: 2009
rating: 4
read at: 2024/09/04
date added: 2024/09/04
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
This book seemed more professional than many of this author’s books. I guess Harlequin has solid editors.

All in all, it was sexy but nothing outstanding.
]]> 59808289
But it’s impossible not to run into Evan in the small coastal town where they once ran wild. And the moment she sees her gorgeous ex again, it’s clear to Gen that Evan is still as unruly, sexy, and irresistible as ever. This time around, however, she’s resolved to walk a new path. No more partying. No more foolish mistakes. Her plan is to temporarily remain in town to help her father run his business, but the second he finds somebody else, she’s out of there.

Evan has other ideas. He knows they can be good together, but he just has to convince Genevieve of that, even if it means turning over a new leaf himself. But can a bad reputation ever truly be shed? Do second chances really work? Genevieve and Evan are about to find out.

Bestselling author Elle Kennedy returns to Avalon Bay in this sexy second chance story about two exes who can't stay away from each other, Bad Girl Reputation.]]> 320 Elle Kennedy 125079675X Cara 3
I was glad to see these two grow up a good bit, but I’m still not convinced they’re a good idea together. ]]> 3.48 2022
author: Elle Kennedy
name: Cara
average rating: 3.48
book published: 2022
rating: 3
read at: 2024/09/04
date added: 2024/09/04
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
I don’t know, man. So much drama. I know romance novels believe only relationships with all this sturm und drang are passionate enough to be true love, but maybe they’re really just unhealthy.

I was glad to see these two grow up a good bit, but I’m still not convinced they’re a good idea together.
]]> 48896281
JACKIE
When her first marriage ends in tragedy, Jackie Kennedy fears she’ll never love again. But all that changes when she encounters��

ARI
Successful and charming, Ari Onassis is a man who promises her the world. Yet soon after they marry, Jackie learns that his heart also belongs to another��

MARIA
A beautiful, famed singer, Maria Callas is in love with Jackie’s new husband �� and she isn’t going to give up.

Little by little, Jackie and Maria’s lives begin to tangle in a dangerous web of secrets, scandal and lies. But with both women determined to make Ari theirs alone, the stakes are high. How far will they go for true love?

Readers love The Second Marriage:

‘Glamorous and highly seductive, this compelling story explores the lives of two complex, powerful women complete with all their talents and flaws.�� Dinah Jefferies, author of The Tuscan Contessa

‘Heart-breaking. Brilliant. Powerful. Its intensity and perception knocked me out; I guarantee that this fascinating love-triangle story will have you enthralled.�� Kate Furnivall, author of The Guardian of Lies

‘I was completely enthralled, wholly swept up in the characters, the glamour, and the fascinating story of these iconic women. An utter treat from beginning to end �� readers far and wide will fall under its spell.�� Jenny Ashcroft, author of Beneath a Burning Sky

‘I can't rave highly enough about this book �� it's my favourite Gill Paul novel to date. A dazzling yet moving portrait of two very different iconic women, it's brilliantly researched, compellingly told and completely fascinating. I just loved it.�� Tracy Rees, author of Amy Snow

‘A compelling and fascinating story about powerful personalities.�� Rosanna Ley, author of The Lemon Tree Hotel

‘Addictive and so well-researched. I read it in a day.�� Kate Riordan, author of The Heatwave

‘A truly compelling story�� This is the best of historical fiction �� leaving you wanting to learn more.�� Liz Trenow, author of The Forgotten Seamstress]]> 480 Gill Paul 0062952498 Cara 4
It’s a sad story. I feel bad for everyone involved. It was still a pleasant read for the first half or so, before the tragedies started happening. The whole book was good, but it was hard to enjoy the really sad parts much. I did like the way they tied it up at the end. ]]> 4.08 2020
author: Gill Paul
name: Cara
average rating: 4.08
book published: 2020
rating: 4
read at: 2024/08/31
date added: 2024/08/31
shelves: about-real-people, audio, scribd
review:
Really interesting book, probably even more so if you were around when this all happened. I wasn’t, so pretty much everything that happened except JFK being assassinated was a surprise to me.

It’s a sad story. I feel bad for everyone involved. It was still a pleasant read for the first half or so, before the tragedies started happening. The whole book was good, but it was hard to enjoy the really sad parts much. I did like the way they tied it up at the end.
]]> 23164946 From the author of the New York Times #1 bestseller The Untethered Soul comes this thought-provoking, inspirational memoir on the magic that happens when you just let go

Spirituality is meant to bring about harmony and peace. But the diversity of our philosophies, beliefs, concepts, and views about the soul often leads to confusion. To reconcile the noise that clouds spirituality, Michael Singer combines accounts of his own life journey to enlightenment—from his years as a hippie-loner to his success as a computer program engineer to his work in spiritual and humanitarian efforts—with lessons on how to put aside conflicting beliefs, let go of worries, and transform misdirected desires. Singer provides a road map to a new way of living not in the moment, but to exist in a state of perpetual happiness.]]> 252 Michael A. Singer 080414110X Cara 3 life, about-real-people
The premise is simple: life knows better than we do, so just accept everything. Don’t struggle against it. Use it as a tool to overcome your will and your personal self.

The book doesn’t say much about how to do that, though. It’s just the remarkable story of the author’s path to mastering it. It’s a wild story for sure, and I’m impressed with his ability to keep his commitment to surrendering in all these situations.

I guess the problem I have with it is, when I’ve just let life take me wherever it felt like taking me, it seems like all that’s happened is I stayed in a bad relationship and buried my head in the sand.

If I said yes to everything that came my way, right now I’d have my ex back (along with all his narcissistic tendencies) and I’d be doing a horrible project that’s everything I hate doing. Maybe life had some really good stuff hiding behind those and now I’m missing it, but that idea doesn’t impress me.

I guess the larger issues here is I don’t believe in overcoming my personal self. I don’t find mine annoying like Michael Singer did his. Some of the things she says are definitely nuts, but she’s mostly funny, and I see her with fondness and compassion most of the time. Surely that’s more spiritual than trying to destroy her? Why do we even have personal selves to begin with if their whole purpose is to be cast aside or overcome? ]]> 4.00 2015
author: Michael A. Singer
name: Cara
average rating: 4.00
book published: 2015
rating: 3
read at: 2024/08/27
date added: 2024/08/27
shelves: life, about-real-people
review:
I was surprised to find that I didn’t like this book all that much. I read The Untethered Soul, and it rocked my world. This one, not so much.

The premise is simple: life knows better than we do, so just accept everything. Don’t struggle against it. Use it as a tool to overcome your will and your personal self.

The book doesn’t say much about how to do that, though. It’s just the remarkable story of the author’s path to mastering it. It’s a wild story for sure, and I’m impressed with his ability to keep his commitment to surrendering in all these situations.

I guess the problem I have with it is, when I’ve just let life take me wherever it felt like taking me, it seems like all that’s happened is I stayed in a bad relationship and buried my head in the sand.

If I said yes to everything that came my way, right now I’d have my ex back (along with all his narcissistic tendencies) and I’d be doing a horrible project that’s everything I hate doing. Maybe life had some really good stuff hiding behind those and now I’m missing it, but that idea doesn’t impress me.

I guess the larger issues here is I don’t believe in overcoming my personal self. I don’t find mine annoying like Michael Singer did his. Some of the things she says are definitely nuts, but she’s mostly funny, and I see her with fondness and compassion most of the time. Surely that’s more spiritual than trying to destroy her? Why do we even have personal selves to begin with if their whole purpose is to be cast aside or overcome?
]]> 57693481 She does everything right. So what could go wrong?

Mackenzie "Mac" Cabot is a people pleaser. Her demanding parents. Her prep school friends. Her long-time boyfriend. It's exhausting, really, always following the rules. Unlike most twenty-year-olds, all she really wants to do is focus on growing her internet business, but first she must get a college degree at her parents' insistence. That means moving to the beachside town of Avalon Bay, a community made up of locals and the wealthy students of Garnet College.

Mac's had plenty of practice suppressing her wilder impulses, but when she meets local bad boy Cooper Hartley, that ability is suddenly tested. Cooper is rough around the edges. Raw. Candid. A threat to her ordered existence. Their friendship soon becomes the realest thing in her life.

Despite his disdain for the trust-fund kids he sees coming and going from his town, Cooper soon realizes Mac isn't just another rich clone and falls for her. Hard. But as Mac finally starts feeling accepted by Cooper and his friends, the secret he's been keeping from her threatens the only place she's ever felt at home.]]> 368 Elle Kennedy 1250796733 Cara 3 3.54 2022
author: Elle Kennedy
name: Cara
average rating: 3.54
book published: 2022
rating: 3
read at: 2024/08/23
date added: 2024/08/24
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
Really dislike the setup for this book and then the mmc doubled down on it when he had the chance to come clean. Also, both of these characters are such pains in the ass. Having already read the third book in the series, it was cool to see what led up to it. That and the dog are the main things I liked about this book.
]]> 61884968
On her first night in town, she finds the perfect candidate: Tate Bartlett, Avalon Bay’s fun-loving golden boy.

Tate, sailing instructor and lovable player, is no stranger to flings. In fact, he’s always down for a good time. But the moment he meets Cassie, he knows she’s not the girl you play games with. Cassie is gorgeous, hilarious, and, frankly, the coolest person he’s ever met. The last thing he wants to do is risk breaking her heart, and so he reluctantly puts her in the friend-zone�� only to realize he made a huge mistake. Soon, his attraction to Cassie becomes impossible to ignore. He wants that fling now. Big-time.

And maybe even something more.

As Cassie and Tate walk the line between friends and lovers, they’re about to discover that their situation is the least complicated part of this equation. Because Avalon Bay is full of secrets—and their relationship might not survive when those secrets come to light.

Elle Kennedy's next spicy and emotional romance in the blockbuster Avalon Bay series. ]]> 400 Elle Kennedy 1250863872 Cara 4 3.92 2023
author: Elle Kennedy
name: Cara
average rating: 3.92
book published: 2023
rating: 4
read at: 2024/08/20
date added: 2024/08/20
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
Loved this book. When this author is on, she’s on.
]]> 15812553 227 Jonice Webb 161448242X Cara 4 life, scribd
I really enjoyed the word-pictures of the different types of emotionally neglectful parents. Well, “enjoyed�� probably isn’t the right word, but I found that part really engaging and I felt understood. I related to almost every type in there, and the stories really hit home.

But then, I was surprised to find the self-care section boring. Is it because I’ve already heard all this stuff a million times before, or is it because I can’t stand help? I think the former but I guess it’s hard to say for sure.

Two tidbits that stood out for me:
- people who aren’t very adept with emotions often just experience anger, when really there’s a complex tangle of emotions under there that they don’t know how to tease apart.
- some people are so averse to nurturing of any kind that they can’t even enjoy food, only use it as fuel, and other people enjoying it makes them really uncomfortable. I dated a guy like that, and I found it so baffling when I was with him, but this explains it.

Overall, I found this book really eye-opening. As recommended, I’ve started asking myself how I’m feeling whenever I think of it. I didn’t make a chart about it though.]]> 4.16 2012
author: Jonice Webb
name: Cara
average rating: 4.16
book published: 2012
rating: 4
read at: 2024/08/19
date added: 2024/08/19
shelves: life, scribd
review:
I’ve had this book for a long time. After a particularly difficult family incident, I finally decided to read it.

I really enjoyed the word-pictures of the different types of emotionally neglectful parents. Well, “enjoyed�� probably isn’t the right word, but I found that part really engaging and I felt understood. I related to almost every type in there, and the stories really hit home.

But then, I was surprised to find the self-care section boring. Is it because I’ve already heard all this stuff a million times before, or is it because I can’t stand help? I think the former but I guess it’s hard to say for sure.

Two tidbits that stood out for me:
- people who aren’t very adept with emotions often just experience anger, when really there’s a complex tangle of emotions under there that they don’t know how to tease apart.
- some people are so averse to nurturing of any kind that they can’t even enjoy food, only use it as fuel, and other people enjoying it makes them really uncomfortable. I dated a guy like that, and I found it so baffling when I was with him, but this explains it.

Overall, I found this book really eye-opening. As recommended, I’ve started asking myself how I’m feeling whenever I think of it. I didn’t make a chart about it though.
]]> 37798684 136 Virgie Tovar 1936932318 Cara 3 health, scribd 4.26 2018
author: Virgie Tovar
name: Cara
average rating: 4.26
book published: 2018
rating: 3
read at: 2024/08/19
date added: 2024/08/19
shelves: health, scribd
review:
I agree with what the author is saying here, but it sure got repetitive.
]]> 181840754 An exhilarating and emotional novel about grief, hope, friendship, and taking life one beautiful and spontaneous day at a time by New York Times bestselling author Catherine Ryan Hyde.

Freakishly smart. That’s the unwelcome box Ru Evans is put into for life. After all, she taught herself Euclidean geometry at age seven, has an eidetic memory, and is about to enter college at thirteen years old.

Boarding at a house near campus 150 miles from home, Ru meets seventeen-year-old Gabriel, an outsider himself who, like Ru, has trouble making friends—until they form a fast sibling-like bond. Finding a relatable someone in the world to talk to is a first for both of them.

But when Ru’s mother dies and the threat of living with her miserable aunt looms, Ru hatches an escape. It’s an impulsive road trip that takes Ru and Gabriel from California to Canada, where Ru can fulfill her ultimate to see Atlantic puffins in the glorious wild.

Mile by mile, Ru discovers the joy of friendship, found family, dark night skies, and the aurora borealis, and she basks in going from being a smart person to just a person. Though she knows they’ll be in trouble when they’re caught, for the short time they are navigating twist by twist of an unknown road, the freedom is liberating, and she is living for what feels like the first time.]]> 269 Catherine Ryan Hyde 166250442X Cara 5
I’m not sure I buy that that’s what it’s like to be a genius, but maybe it is.

Anyway, I loved the interactions and the way all these different strangers helped her and Gabe in various ways. They obviously knew they were runaways, but they helped them with all kinds of little things and practicalities. I loved that.

I also enjoyed seeing Ru grow beyond just being a “freakishly smart�� brainy-brain, become more of a whole person, and put her intelligence into context. And I loved the bond with Gabe.

This is a sweet story, and I’ll definitely be reading more from this author. ]]> 4.38 2024
author: Catherine Ryan Hyde
name: Cara
average rating: 4.38
book published: 2024
rating: 5
read at: 2024/08/17
date added: 2024/08/17
shelves: fun-or-frivolity, kindle-unlimited
review:
This is one of the best books I’ve read in a long time. I thought Ru was like 80 at first, though, based on her voice. Instead she’s probably in her 20s by now. She’s definitely young enough to consider a car from the 90s an old car.

I’m not sure I buy that that’s what it’s like to be a genius, but maybe it is.

Anyway, I loved the interactions and the way all these different strangers helped her and Gabe in various ways. They obviously knew they were runaways, but they helped them with all kinds of little things and practicalities. I loved that.

I also enjoyed seeing Ru grow beyond just being a “freakishly smart�� brainy-brain, become more of a whole person, and put her intelligence into context. And I loved the bond with Gabe.

This is a sweet story, and I’ll definitely be reading more from this author.
]]>