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kylajaclyn's Reviews > First You Try Everything
First You Try Everything
by
by
It is hard for women, as I'm sure everyone knows.
If you don't try and save your marriage, you are a coward.
If you try and save your marriage with desperation, you are needy and clingy, and that's almost worse.
The main character of this book, Evvie Muldoone, is the latter. At least, that is how I'm seeing her perceived in these reviews. I saw so much of myself in her that I could not hate her character. Nor did I hate the character of Ben.
Evvie is someone who feels too much and dreams too big. Someone who probably needs to see a psychiatrist but has always refused to go as the result of one bad experience. Her husband, Ben, has begun to find solace with another woman and tells Evvie he is seeking a divorce. To people like Evvie (and me), this is unacceptable. She believes they are meant for each other, and so they will come back to each other in the end.
The only problem is that Ben does not see things this way. He revels in the fact that Lauren is the exact opposite of Evvie. She would never crawl through someone's window and force that person to take her back. But Evvie is driven by a love that will not die; a kind of madness. She is one of those people who sees herself doing things she cannot stop.
When it becomes increasingly clear that Ben will not come back to Evvie, she does one last thing that has irreparable consequences. This is where the book gets a surreal, but I can see how someone with her unhinged mental state could do what she did. Evvie meets two guys on the subway (your first warning alarm) who claim that they reunite couples for a living. Even after they tell Evvie they are ex-cons (another warning), something about them just seems so gentle and kind to her. Mind you, she first meets with them in daylight. Anyone can change their stripes at night. They tell Evvie it will all just be a bit of acting, a bit of theater... they ultimately kidnap her and Ben at his workplace and force them to swim naked in a river and then take them to a warehouse.
The ironic thing is that for a while Ben really does seem to want Evvie back. Throughout this whole ordeal he can only think of their times together and how Lauren is now a distant memory. But this whole thing has the exact opposite effect on Evvie. She finally realizes that she only wants him to be happy, and he'll never be happy with her. She also realizes how much she needs help, and after telling Ben that she was the one who hired the men, she lets him drive her to the hospital and checks herself in.
When she sees him in the last chapter she wishes that he knew her now that she is a better person. It's a familiar pang for me... so many people only saw my crazy side, and I just wish I could prove them wrong now. Life doesn't work that way. Evvie finds peace, and Ben has a daughter with Lauren.
I think a lot of the negative reviews on here may also stem from the fact that Evvie and Ben are in their mid-40s. But, seriously, have you ever known an adult who was not flawed in some major way? I think it's a misconception that these people should know how to handle themselves with dignity and grace. In the end, we all have two-year-old flesh. We want what we want when we want it. And letting go of a marriage and a love... it's no easy feat. I think everyone who comes out of those types of situations unscathed are very, very lucky.
If you don't try and save your marriage, you are a coward.
If you try and save your marriage with desperation, you are needy and clingy, and that's almost worse.
The main character of this book, Evvie Muldoone, is the latter. At least, that is how I'm seeing her perceived in these reviews. I saw so much of myself in her that I could not hate her character. Nor did I hate the character of Ben.
Evvie is someone who feels too much and dreams too big. Someone who probably needs to see a psychiatrist but has always refused to go as the result of one bad experience. Her husband, Ben, has begun to find solace with another woman and tells Evvie he is seeking a divorce. To people like Evvie (and me), this is unacceptable. She believes they are meant for each other, and so they will come back to each other in the end.
The only problem is that Ben does not see things this way. He revels in the fact that Lauren is the exact opposite of Evvie. She would never crawl through someone's window and force that person to take her back. But Evvie is driven by a love that will not die; a kind of madness. She is one of those people who sees herself doing things she cannot stop.
When it becomes increasingly clear that Ben will not come back to Evvie, she does one last thing that has irreparable consequences. This is where the book gets a surreal, but I can see how someone with her unhinged mental state could do what she did. Evvie meets two guys on the subway (your first warning alarm) who claim that they reunite couples for a living. Even after they tell Evvie they are ex-cons (another warning), something about them just seems so gentle and kind to her. Mind you, she first meets with them in daylight. Anyone can change their stripes at night. They tell Evvie it will all just be a bit of acting, a bit of theater... they ultimately kidnap her and Ben at his workplace and force them to swim naked in a river and then take them to a warehouse.
The ironic thing is that for a while Ben really does seem to want Evvie back. Throughout this whole ordeal he can only think of their times together and how Lauren is now a distant memory. But this whole thing has the exact opposite effect on Evvie. She finally realizes that she only wants him to be happy, and he'll never be happy with her. She also realizes how much she needs help, and after telling Ben that she was the one who hired the men, she lets him drive her to the hospital and checks herself in.
When she sees him in the last chapter she wishes that he knew her now that she is a better person. It's a familiar pang for me... so many people only saw my crazy side, and I just wish I could prove them wrong now. Life doesn't work that way. Evvie finds peace, and Ben has a daughter with Lauren.
I think a lot of the negative reviews on here may also stem from the fact that Evvie and Ben are in their mid-40s. But, seriously, have you ever known an adult who was not flawed in some major way? I think it's a misconception that these people should know how to handle themselves with dignity and grace. In the end, we all have two-year-old flesh. We want what we want when we want it. And letting go of a marriage and a love... it's no easy feat. I think everyone who comes out of those types of situations unscathed are very, very lucky.
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