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** spoiler alert ** *Original Review 9/14/19*
I feel like the anime will probably stop with this volume because 5 is still ongoing. I'm kind of annoyed that the thing that happens in all yaoi manga fucking happened, but they talked about it and the character apologized. Although, it's still a fucking shitty thing to do and I like that character way less now. This shit is stressing me out so much now. It feels like so much is falling apart and I don't WANT IT TO.

*Reread 2/2/21*
Jokes on past me the anime only had 11 episodes so it ended with volume 3 basically lol. But this volume is basically the entirety of the movie which I just watched and wow I LOVE THIS SERIES.

God one of my favorite MafuUeno scenes happens in this volume. I hope it's in season 2 because it was not in the movie (most likely cause they wanted to keep the movie focused on the older boys). All the boys start growing into themselves in this volume. Ue kind of figuring out how to love and communicate. Mafuyu learning to speak out and growing into and with his music. Haruki dealing with his insecurities with his mediocrity and his desperation to please. Akihiko and his inability to move on and discover himself without Ugetsu. Ugetsu's being able to finally let go of Akihiko and not continue to cling to his love and drag him down. Kizu's writing is SO GOOD. Everything is falling apart so they can fall back together in the next volume.

I'm happy the movie changed up the language of that one scene a bit. It definitely made the overall tone better and it helped get the real point of the scene and Akihiko's spiral come across better. The movie didn't change anything else beyond that though, which is good. The immediate apology, regret, Haruki's desperation to be needed, and Akihiko's own realization plus the aftermath?? so fucking painful. And UGH. Akihiko and Haru!!! My boys. I absolutely ADORE Kizu's writing. It's so freaking good. There's just so many good lines about inadequacy, letting go, and loneliness. It's so RAW and painful and beautiful. Reading Akihiko, Haru, and Ugetsu's storyline for the second time as well as watching it has made me see so much more than when I was quickly devouring it the first time around. I'm absolutely obsessed with them. I just want to wrap all of them up in a big ole hug. And all of their growth! It hasn't happened in this volume but I'm riding on that movie high lol. I can't wait to get volume 5 in my hands!

*Reread 12/6/2021*
I love the toxicity. I also love Ugetsu so fucking much and idg how people can hate Ugetsu for being toxic, but forgive Akihiko for it? I hope we get an arc for Ugetsu where he begins to love himself and maybe finds a lil romance too? Also Haruki's sadness and feeling like he doesn't belong hurts so much. God, what a painful volume.

*Reread 6/15/2025*
Akihiko pisses me off this volume lol. He's such a brat!! But good I love this volume. My heart hurts for all of them.