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I’ve had this book for a long time. After a particularly difficult family incident, I finally decided to read it.

I really enjoyed the word-pictures of the different types of emotionally neglectful parents. Well, “enjoyed�� probably isn’t the right word, but I found that part really engaging and I felt understood. I related to almost every type in there, and the stories really hit home.

But then, I was surprised to find the self-care section boring. Is it because I’ve already heard all this stuff a million times before, or is it because I can’t stand help? I think the former but I guess it’s hard to say for sure.

Two tidbits that stood out for me:
- people who aren’t very adept with emotions often just experience anger, when really there’s a complex tangle of emotions under there that they don’t know how to tease apart.
- some people are so averse to nurturing of any kind that they can’t even enjoy food, only use it as fuel, and other people enjoying it makes them really uncomfortable. I dated a guy like that, and I found it so baffling when I was with him, but this explains it.

Overall, I found this book really eye-opening. As recommended, I’ve started asking myself how I’m feeling whenever I think of it. I didn’t make a chart about it though.