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Us mods want to read your stories! Post the LINKS to them here. :)

And here anyone can comment on your things :) We mods will always be around to read them but more than one opinion helps so feel free to comment!

Of course :)

Hi, Me and my friend are doing a project and i need someone who can edit for me and tell me what to improve, so here is the link:
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...

can you email that to me at INGRID596 So i can reply quicker?

Hi Ingrid, send me your full e mail id?

[email protected]

I sent it you.

great!

I have the prologue and first two chapters of a tentatively titled book called Demon Strike that I need to edit and finish up. I have most of it done, though I need to make a few changes to it. Here's the link, /story/show/...

Hi. Here are a couple of short stories I have written. Please feel free to review and provide constructive feedback.

1. Chainful Aspects - [about 1000 words] http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/321682-short-stories?chapter=1

2. Silly Factor - [about 1500 words] http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/321682-short-stories?chapter=2

Thanks.

This is only the first chapter to the new book I'm working on called Like The Stars, but the rest will be up in July. Link: http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3... Here's the description:

Beth Ollis never took her future seriously until her sister Kaylee was diagnosed with HCM, a disease that would most likely kill her at a young age. Now, Kaylee will never meet the One, and it scares Beth to think she might end up with the same fate. In order to avoid that completely, Beth tries to find love in just about every possible place, only to realize it doesn't work that way.

Beth must go on a heartbreaking journey to learn that there is no reason to go searching for love - it will come to you.

Please put your comments on the story, not here please

This is my story that won an award for Reader's Choice on Miss Lit :)

is this a published work?

I added the second and third chapters to Like The Stars. Please give this a quick look and comment on the story letting me know what I can improve! (Please don't comment on this topic) http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...

I would love to hear what you think:

I have two books (not completed) up on goodreads! Here is the link to Finding Hope >> http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...
And the other is called Mon Ange, which means my angel in french, its in english though dont worry!!
>> http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...

I really need someone to read and check over my work on Finding Hope if anyone is interested? Only 1 and a half chapters !

I'd be happy to look at it. You can send it to [email protected]

Amanda Brenner

Jessica already took a look at, I just wanted to get a few more readers to give me some feedback before I decide how to move forward...

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...

Thank you;
Dan

I read the first chapter and glanced over the rest. It looks like a good start for a first draft. Good luck with it.

Amanda

***NOTIFICATION***

This thread is meant for people who would like feedback on Unpublished works. If you have a published work please check out the Announcements, Promotions, Marketplace, and Bulletin Board folders.

Authors posting published works on this thread are subject to having their post removed by a Moderator.

Ok, so I'm reposting Like The Stars because I'm getting ready to write my next book and I want critiques on this one first so I can incorporate what I learn from LTS into my next book. I want brutal honesty in all the comments. Also, it's completely unedited so don't critique line by line, please; I just want big picture critiques, like comments on what works or doesn't in a character, in a scene, in the plot, things like that. Thank you guys so much! It's much appreciated! (Comments on the story please, not here)

Link: /story/show/...

/story/show/...
Is my short story about the Belfast blitz in WW2 when Rosie is evacuated.
But these are my humourous poems too,
/story/show/...
AND
/story/show/...
They are all completed and I would love to know what you think of them!

I've posted one short story I've written (divided into 3 sections), and could really use some feedback! Please check out my short story and let me know what you think!

/story/show/...

looking for some feedback

/story/show/...

I'm looking for constructive feedback and/or comments on a short story I've written. Critics are also welcome.

Link: Short Story - The Book Library

Olleh wrote: "/story/show/...
Is my short story about the Belfast blitz in WW2 when Rosie is evacuated.
But these are my humourous poems too,
https:/..."

Hi Olleh! I took a quick look at all of them for you.

-The Evacuation: The opening section is a little rough, be carful with your tenses. Also, try to include a little more background information because not all readers have the same knowledge (why is 1930 important? and where is Belfast?). Other than that though it just looks like you need to read it out loud to fix some fluidity issues, as this is a diary it should flow when you read it out loud (also this will help you catch in errors). You are headed in the right direction though :)

-I like hamsters...:
Very cute little poem. It has a nice rhyming pattern that makes things light and fun, but towards the end you slant rhymed carefully and clumsily, and I think this throws the reader off a bit because the rest of it is so nicely rhymed. Also, you have a nice rhythm going but towards the center/ end it gets a little off and this disrupts the flow.

-Humorous Limericks:
This one was nice to read, a silly and goofy poem. One thing to note though, you may want to go back and read though it out loud and check your rhymes. I'm not sure how you are pronouncing Niger but the way I have heard it said it doesn't rhyme with tiger because the sounds the -er ending makes are different.

Sean wrote: "I've posted one short story I've written (divided into 3 sections), and could really use some feedback! Please check out my short story and let me know what you think!

/st..."

Sean, I didn't read all of it, just the first couple chapters. It seems disjointed in places and the beginning confused me. I understand we went back in time from it but it was odd, if that makes sense? You seem to have a good direction, but the way you phrase things makes the writing choppy and slightly confusing in places. I am not the best at comma usage so I can't say exactly where they should go; however, I would pay special attention to this when you write, as your readers will pause slightly at commas and this can make things confusing. Nice idea overall though!

Warren wrote: "looking for some feedback

/story/show/..."

I took a look at the first chapter (as if I sat down and read the entirety of every work that got posted here you guys wouldn't get feedback asap). This seems to have great direction and I am interested in reading more. However, the way you described him waking up was odd. If his eyes were closed, how did sweat fall into them? Also, try to describe more of his surroundings clearly. Formatting wise you need to separate out the dialogue (for one it makes it easier to read and two, it makes it clearer who is speaking). I would read though it out loud (so you will hear where things don't flow/make sense). Another thing, in the summary of your piece you have she in there instead of he. Good luck and thanks for posting your piece here!

Irene wrote: "Warren wrote: "looking for some feedback

/story/show/..."

I took a look at the first chapter (as if I sat down and read the entirety of every wor..."

Yeah i just cut and pasted it out of the word document i have it in and it did not carry over the formatting i had set for the dialogue. Thanks for the feedback, i really appreciate it.

Warren wrote: "Irene wrote: "Warren wrote: "looking for some feedback

/story/show/..."

I took a look at the first chapter (as if I sat down and read the entiret..."

Ah, yes Microsoft Word and the ŷ������ posts here are two different programs so the formatting won't carry over. However, you can look at the (some html is ok) link and then reformat your work here so it looks the same as it does in your word document.

Looking for some extra feedback!!

/story/show/...

Thanks :)

Ashleigh wrote: "Looking for some extra feedback!!

/story/show/...

Thanks :)"

I read though your piece and then the comments already posted. I don't think there is much to change as the things I would comment on Lizze already brought up and you dealt with. There are a couple of places that aren't as fluid as I would prefer, but I believe this is your writing style and not an actual error. However, I would read the piece out loud (and even backwards, as that really makes you think) to double check for mistakes.

Here's the prologue to my novel "Legendary Dragon Queen". It's still a work in progress and is only a first draft. I'm open to feedback.

Here's the link:
Legendary Dragon Queen - Prologue - Terrors

Shlomo wrote: "Here's the prologue to my novel "Legendary Dragon Queen". It's still a work in progress and is only a first draft. I'm open to feedback.

Here's the link:
Legendary Dragon Queen - Prologue - Terrors"

Hi Shlomo! We Mods are currently participating in NaNoWriMo (check it out here: ). My brain is on overload right now and I don't want to give you a bad critique, so unless someone else comes a long this is going to have to wait till the end of November, sorry about that.

Irene wrote: "Shlomo wrote: "Here's the prologue to my novel "Legendary Dragon Queen". It's still a work in progress and is only a first draft. I'm open to feedback.

Here's the link:
Legendary Dragon Queen - Pr..."

No worries at all. I was thinking whether I should put up the post within Nanowrimo folder, but I remembered this would be relevant place.

Anyways, I'm also participating in NaNoWriMo and I only wondered if anyone interested would give me a feedback on what I wrote. I'm still good with post November, unless there are any non-Nanowrimos over here.

Links to some short stories i have written and posted on my profile page.


"Stormgate Avora" (Sci-fi) ~
/story/show/...


"The Warmonger's Mythbane" (myths & legends) ~
/story/show/...


"The chronicles of Darkkon" (sci-fi) ~
/story/show/...

...

There are more, if you would like to read them.

Ever-After (a fairytale re-telling)

The Emerald Gateway (COSTA book awards 2013 - short story entry)

Alice & the wizarding world of wonderland (fun!)

The crimson portal (sci-fi)

Lucinda Xx :)

A Feeling for which to Forever Reach

Where the mind bears the realization of the effect of its own selfish desires, a light within the intension to cause only good, begins to manifest. Physically it is felt running through the body, arching at toes and finger tips, fluxing over the curvature of the eye, jumping upon the surface of the skin. As the feeling of that desire to show love and no more, wells up from within. A calm coherence of gentle emotion pours over the mind, entering a place inside that believes in no end. This knowing of awareness, which only faith in love and truth can cause to arise, is the only true worth in the existence that is or will ever be. Once in it, I am sorry for every selfish thought, that I was too weak to keep enclosed. From which actions, not forged in the emotion of this light, have furthered the darkness through which each of us suffers. As only when interacting from within the purity of love, does the world truly know life.

By David Domon
I need book reviews, preferably before the violence over the issues that plague our world begins. Contact me and I will email you it for free. Though know that it is not for the light of heart.

Hii :)

This is my book and I really need to know if I made too many mistakes or not:



Anyone care to have a look? I ll email free version!

David wrote: "A Feeling for which to Forever Reach

Where the mind bears the realization of the effect of its own selfish desires, a light within the intension to cause only good, begins to manifest. Physically ..."

Hi David! This thread is for unpublished works so if you are looking for reviews check out the bulletin board and/or promotions folders, they would be better suited to what you are looked for.

Giorgos wrote: "Hii :)

This is my book and I really need to know if I made too many mistakes or not:

..."

Hi Giorgos! As I told David above, this thread is for unpublished works. If you are looking for readers for a published work check out the bulletin board and/ or promotions folders, the audience you are looking for reads those folders.

/story/show/...
/story/show/...

/story/show/...
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT..HONEST!

A story of domestic violence and revenge.Poor Trudy and her desperation.
This story came 2nd in my first story comp.
The theme was "I accidentally killed my best friend/pet etc.
I wrote this to show the desperation of an abused person.It was an accident though,wasn't it?
Click to read.

This was my other entry.
/story/show/...
WHERE'S MY DOLLY?
The innocence of a child who believed her dolly was dead.

Poor Melanie,where did her new dolly go?Click to see what happened.
I'm thinking of developing them both further and try to get them published.

/story/show/...
this is my story about a 14-year-old girl who goes to camp with her best friend and regret's for meeting some of the people she meets

Hi willow, I think you would get much greater feedback if you posted this in the "SW member blogs" folder. That's where book bloggers tend to prowl and look for new material to read and review. :)

Anytime :) That's what us moderators are here for!

I've been trying to find some people to review my writing so far and tell me whether or not it is good, I'd like to know if I should finish it and publish it or not. Any critique would be helpful!

/story/show/...

Are you guys looking for specific types of stories, (ie. shorts, couple chapters, concept ...) or are you open to complete books? Free of charge of course.

I started writing another YA book, this time a romance, on Miss Lit--and it's here if any of you guys are interested in checking it out: