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I know, as much as any of you Delirium lovers out there, that Lauren Oliver didn’t finish Requiem properly. We all craved more, needed closure. (I should know, read my review of Requiem and you will feel my pain.) But there is a reason Lauren Oliver did what she did. Lauren Oliver was a fan fiction writer before she made it big with Before I Fall and Delirium. She left the ending the way it was so that we readers could interpret the endings for ourselves, make an ending ourselves, finish the story. She wanted to leave it open so that her ending wouldn’t be set in stone—what if Julian lovers hated that Lena went back to Alex? What if Alex lovers couldn’t stand not knowing what happened to the two?—and that we could finish it the way we want.
So here is my Requiem ending. I did the best I could. I know someone already beat me to it, but that’s okay. I had the idea to do this a long time ago but never put it into action until I saw someone else already had. I’m timid that way. But I am also a writer, hope to be one in the future, and my ending is different from hers. Though I loved hers, it was a little too perfect, too closed up, the opposite of Lauren Oliver’s ending—too open, too many loose ends. I hope that mine will be in between there somewhere and make many of you who read this smile.

Take down the walls.
That is, after all, the whole point. You do not know what will happen if you take down the walls; you cannot see through to the other side, don’t know whether it will bring freedom or ruin, resolution or chaos. It might be paradise, or destruction.
Take down the walls.
Otherwise you must live closely, in fear, building barricades against the unknown, saying prayers against the darkness, speaking verse of terror and tightness.
Otherwise you may never know hell, but you will not find heaven, either. You will not know fresh air and flying.
All of you, wherever you are: in your spiny cities or your one-bump towns. Find it, the hard stuff, the links of metal and chink, the fragments of stone filling your stomach. And pull, and pull, and pull.
I will make a pact with you: I will do it if you will do it, always and forever.
And even if you don’t, I still will do it.
I have gone too far to give up now.
Take down the walls.

It has been a month after our victory in Portland. But that wasn’t the end. We still have the rest of the United States to conquer—or at least, what is left of it, what hasn’t crumbled into desolation like the Wilds, what hasn’t laid lifeless on the earth like a massive landfill of cities past. Major cities—Los Angeles, Austin, Detroit. But we have help now. Like a chain of land mines going off, after one step, one detonation in Portland, small parties of resisters break out every day, all over the country. The rebels grow stronger and stronger, even though the DFA and National Security Administration fight back. But for the first time, we are winning. Mayor Fred Hargrove is dead. Patrick Riley, the newest head of the DFA, was killed in a shootout near the border. The symbols have been destroyed. There are still many unwilling to succumb to the deliria, to the resistance. After more than sixty-four years of being brainwashed into believing that amor nervosa deliria is a disease, why not? Maybe they are afraid to choose, afraid of choosing the wrong thing. I was one of them once. I understand how they feel.
I also understand how much better it feels to let go and embrace the madness. If love is madness, then let me be mad. I remember how eager I was to take the cure those days that seem long ago now, counting down the days until my procedure, until I would be safe from the clutches of love. I would never dream of living a life like that anymore. Never knowing Alex. Never loving. Like a cured. Like Hana.
She’s here now. We’re still together—me, Julian, Alex, Coral, Grace, Hunter, Bram, Colin, Pippa, Beast, Tack, Cap, Max, my mom� Bee—and now there’s Hana, too. I’m not sure whether I’m happy to see her or not. I’m still angry, I won’t hide it. She� she ruined me, ruined Alex. I can still close my eyes and feel it, feel my fear, remember how I walked up the steps to 37 Brooks, not knowing, feel the burning in my wrists as I was shackled to my bed like some kind of animal. I can feel the hole that eats away inside of me when I relive those moments at the border, as Alex was overcome by soldiers. I thought he was dead. When I ran, stumbling, broken, bleeding, through the Wilds. Alone. I feel that hole close a little every time Alex smiles at me. But it grows a little larger when I look at Hana.
The pain subsides a little when I look at Grace, though. Sweet little Gracie. I never thought I’d see her again. I wouldn’t have, if Hana hadn’t told me, if the Highlands had just burned and Grace had gone with it. I owe Hana for that. And I hate it.
The resistance isn’t sure what to do with her. Hana, I mean. If she ends up like Julian, she’ll be another sign of the resistance’s triumph, the wife of Fred Hargrove a resister. I don’t know how or why she did it, but she escaped, and left Fred to die in the bombing, similar to his father’s death. His house was just ashes in the aftermath. I think Hana is happy about it, too. I see her face twitch, a rare indication of her inscrutable feelings, shrouded by the cure, when the rebels talk about his death. I see her changing. Is it possible the cure didn’t work on her, not completely and perfectly, like it was supposed to?
But then I think about the way she looked, the way she acted, when she confessed to turning Alex and me in to the regulators. I think of her words. I feel freer. It’s been two weeks since she arrived, and I haven’t said a word to her.
I don’t know how she got here, to us. We’ve gone back to Waterbury, moving through the remaining cured cities and trying to take down the walls. I was out with Alex when she arrived. Ironic that I had been telling him what Hana told me—about her betrayal, about her jealousy—when she arrived. Alex took it harder than me. He won’t look at Hana, won’t speak to her. I understand; he was never her best friend like I was. But that just makes it harder for me to accept the truth. She was my best friend. How could she have done that to me?
Jealousy. What an old, ugly, twisted feeling. She took the one thing I had and tossed it out the window.
Hana’s finding it hard to fit in with us, of course, being a golden girl, with everything she ever wanted at her fingertips back in Portland her whole life, but gradually, she is learning. I see more and more of the old Hana come back, piece by piece, see my old best friend. Yet sometimes I still wonder if she secretly longs to run back to a cured city, to resist the deliria� even though she’s found a kindred spirit here.
Julian.
He is responsible for the re-emerging of old Hana.
Once the founder of the DFA’s son, now a passionate member of the resistance, he sees himself in Hana. At least, that’s what I think. They are like Alex and Coral used to be, when I was jealous of them. Always together, always whispering. Two heads of blonde hair, blue eyes, totally in sync. But unlike with Alex and Coral, the sight of them together makes me smile. Because I know Julian will be happy when I let him go.
I haven’t done it yet, if you’re wondering. I haven’t told him. But he knows. Of course he does. He’s not the same boy I saved from his execution. He’s stronger now. He’s changed. Like me, and Alex, and everyone else. He sees the way I am around Alex. He’s seen the signs.
I am not surprised when he confronts me.
“Lena.� He walks toward me, blue eyes flashing, limbs swinging. He reminds me of hope, of love I found in someone when I thought all was lost. I will never love him like I love Alex, I know this now. But I love him like a brother, like my best friend, and I don’t want to break his heart. I wonder if he will beat me to it.
“Julian.� The silence is deafening; my eyes flicker over to Alex and Grace, sitting on a log by a small campfire. Alex is telling Grace a story; she watches him with wide, adoring eyes as he gesticulates and speaks fervently. I nearly smile, but a chilly breeze makes me wrap my coat tighter around myself and meet Julian’s eyes again. I long to end this, to be in Alex’s arms freely.
He runs his hands through his already ruffled hair. “There’s something I need to tell you.�
I freeze. I have heard this before. He had tried having his conversation with me before. But this time, it is different. His hand is not in mine. He stands a slight distance away from me. And his eyes. They are the color of a stormy ocean, not pure blue. I feel it coming, feel his words.
I don’t blurt, “Don’t say it!� this time. I am quiet. He plunges on.
“Lena, I have given you time. And I know you don’t love me. It is because of him. This time I won’t even ask you.�
“I still care about you,� I begin, then realize how much it sounds like I’m mimicking myself. Julian notices, too. His eyes flicker, a flash of hurt, hearing my meaningless repetition. “I’m sorry.�
“Don’t be. I care about you, too, Lena. But I think it’s time we let this go.�
It takes me a couple of seconds to catch on. “Letâ€� what ²µ´Ç?â€�
It’s a whisper. “You and me.�
We stare into each other’s eyes. His blue, mine brown. Acceptance passes through the both of us. He knows I belong with Alex. He’s okay with it.
I breathe out a sigh of relief. “You’ve changed,� I finally say. Then, without a sound, I throw my arms around him. He’s stiff at first, but then loosens up and his arms reach around me to return the embrace. “I’m proud of you, Julian.�
He pulls away first. “One more thing.�
I wait, already anticipating it.
“It’s Hana,� he blurts. Then he stops, eyes wide, waiting for my reaction.
Slowly, I smile. It’s not what he’s expecting. His face uncoils from its tightened expression. “You love her, don’t you?�
“Yeah. I think so.�
I reach for his hand and give it a brief squeeze. “Change her,� I whisper. “Try. Change her like I changed you. Maybe the cured don’t always stay cured.�
Julian and I stand there, smiling at each other, our eyes locked. Then, ever so slowly, he nods, and walks away. Back toward Hana. It’s possible, I think, eyes closed. But no one will ever be the same. Not me, not Alex, not Hana. But that’s okay.
Opening my eyes, I slowly I turn toward Alex and Gracie. Alex looks up as I approach; Grace bolts from her spot beside him and catapults herself into my arms. She hugs me excitedly. “Lena, Lena, Lena! You missed the story Alex told me!� Then she releases my legs and looks at Alex. “Alex, tell it again! Tell her!�
I meet his eyes over her head and smile, biting down shyly on my lip. Grace talks more than ever nowadays, laughter and happiness in her eyes, things vacant from her lonely childhood. She’s like my little sister. I’m happy that she’s happy.
Alex’s hazel eyes sparkle as he grins back at me. There, I see reflected in his eyes, is the old Alex. My Alex. “Okay,� Alex begins, “Once…�

SORRY, THAT'S NOT THE END. MY POST IS A LITTLE TOO LONG. HERE IS THE ENDING:

Grace is curled up fast asleep in my lap when Alex is done. Even though I have already heard the story before, I like hearing the words from Alex’s lips. The Story of Solomon. I remember the real version, the version my mother told me, not the one in the Book of Shhh. It is the same version Alex tells Grace. I still have Alex’s note, too. Still hanging around my neck in the little leather pouch my mom gave me. I won’t let go of any part of him I can keep. Not again. I lost him once. I won’t lose him again.
His eyes drift to mine, flick down to glance at my throat. “Tired?�
“No.� But I lean my head against his chest. I hear his heartbeat thumping in his chest, beneath my ear. Ahead of me, Julian, Hana, and Coral are laughing. Laughing. I’ve never seen Hana laugh since she came to the Wilds. She almost looks� uncured again. And for the briefest second, as Coral, smiling shyly, leans in to whisper something in Hana’s ear, Julian’s eyes flash over to meet mine. He smiles. I feel myself smile back.
Maybe one day� one day, Hana will be free of the cure. She will have changed, like Julian. She and Julian can be happy together. She and Coral can be best friends. And maybe� we can be best friends again, too. Nothing will ever be the same, of course. But I can hope.
I close my eyes as Alex’s arms slide around me, the image of Julian, Hana, and Coral laughing, their hair flying in the wind, imprinted in the back of my eyelids. Mentally I add Alex and myself to the picture. One day, I promise. One day I will learn to forgive Hana.
Everything is still not perfect. We have yet to wipe out the cure and those who resist the deliria. Tack still grieves for Raven every day. He’s different now, harder, the lines on his face more prominent. Nobody knew Raven was carrying their child. Not even Tack. But he is recovering bit by bit. He is still with others who love him, and he will learn to love again, knowing Raven is watching him from wherever she is, with Blue. And maybe one day� Raven Sheathes might exist�
But for now, I settle into Alex and feel his familiar warmth envelope me as I slide into heavy, black sleep. As long as I have Alex, I have everything.
The last things I feel before I fall into unconsciousness are his lips on my cheek and his breath tickling my ear. “I love you.�
I love you, too, Alex. Forever.


PLEASE COMMENT AND THANKS FOR READING! :)

Ahhhh. So much better than the other alternate ending someone else posted on good reads! Even though its sort of the same idea as the other, I like the execution and writing of this one much better. Well done!

Savannah wrote: "Ahhhh. So much better than the other alternate ending someone else posted on good reads! Even though its sort of the same idea as the other, I like the execution and writing of this one much better..."

Thanks. I kind of regret trying to put Hana and Julian together, though. Julian deserves better...

T_____________T Thank you for this, Now i can keep calm. It is way much better if the story ends like that. AND I ALMOST FORGOT THAT RAVEN IS PREGNANT O.O you should've make her alive, i mean i think the people in the city can heal her.

Zsanina wrote: "T_____________T Thank you for this, Now i can keep calm. It is way much better if the story ends like that. AND I ALMOST FORGOT THAT RAVEN IS PREGNANT O.O you should've make her alive, i mean i thi..."

You are very welcome. But I think someone actually "coming back from the dead"--unlike Alex--isn't... a good idea. Raven died for a reason. Let's leave it at that.

Perfection. Thank you, I can now move on with my life! Also I hope you have kept writing, this was very well written :)

Miriam wrote: "Perfection. Thank you, I can now move on with my life! Also I hope you have kept writing, this was very well written :)"


^_^ I'm glad I gave you some closure, and thank you very much! Haha, this is all I wrote for Requiem but I have written other works too.

yes. everything was just super complicated i feel like i can blow up if i Lauren wrote a clear ending.

Wow, very very well done! You should conquer all of Daniel Steele's books next LOL. She always leaves you hanging so I stopped reading her books about twenty years ago because I was sick of coming up with the endings on my own. If I wanted to come up with my own ending, I would be writing instead of reading, right? I didn't mind the way this book ended because you knew she would end up with Alex, not Julian. She never loved him as deeply as she loved Alex. I just read another book (Dear John by Nicholas Sparks) that was the same way. Loving one deeply and truly while just loving someone else on the surface because he is who is available at the moment. It happens. But thank you, I enjoyed this very much!

Karen wrote: "Wow, very very well done! You should conquer all of Daniel Steele's books next LOL. She always leaves you hanging so I stopped reading her books about twenty years ago because I was sick of comin..."

Haha, then Lauren Oliver is just like her. All of her books except one (The Spindlers) leave you hanging in some way. (I don't know about the newest one, Panic, though, because I haven't had a chance to read it yet.)
Oh my gosh, Dear John. Don't get me started on my feels for that book/movie. >.<

Karen wrote: "Wow, very very well done! You should conquer all of Daniel Steele's books next LOL. She always leaves you hanging so I stopped reading her books about twenty years ago because I was sick of comin..."

whatever... but its good that you want to write.

This ending would have bumped up my rating to 4 stars! It's amazing and I love that finally I have closure for this series!! Thank you for sharing it with us :)

Anna wrote: "This ending would have bumped up my rating to 4 stars! It's amazing and I love that finally I have closure for this series!! Thank you for sharing it with us :)"

You are very welcome. :D

Yay I'm so glad I read this!! I thought Requiem ended really abruptly too. This is a much more fulfilling and complete ending. Nice job!!

Melissa wrote: "Yay I'm so glad I read this!! I thought Requiem ended really abruptly too. This is a much more fulfilling and complete ending. Nice job!!"

Yay I'm glad you liked it ^_^

Hey, this is the best ending ever!!! :) Thank you.
I'd love to read your other work too. :)

Greta wrote: "Hey, this is the best ending ever!!! :) Thank you.
I'd love to read your other work too. :)"

You're welcome. ^_^
If you're interested in reading other things I've written, then you can visit here:

Thanks. :))
I'll definitely click on the link :)

Well, I thought Requiem was the best book without closure I have ever read!

Well, the ending left you hanging. Seems like there's a lot to happen. . But all in all, its worth reading. . I've enjoyed it.

Very well done. I am quite appreciative of this. Although I assume Alex and Lena reconcile based on Lauren's ending ,it makes me feel so much better to read it on paper! You did an excellent job. I will say this though: I probably would've put Julian with Coral and left Hana to be by herself. That's what she gets for her worthless jealousy that damaged so many lives!

STOP!!!! That was perfect and I even cried a little. I loved it. I might have yelped a little at the Raven part but it was so beautiful!

Aleja wrote: "Well, I thought Requiem was the best book without closure I have ever read!"


Haha, good that you enjoyed it! I would have to give that title to If I Stay by Gayle Forman.

Sheba wrote: "Very well done. I am quite appreciative of this. Although I assume Alex and Lena reconcile based on Lauren's ending ,it makes me feel so much better to read it on paper! You did an excellent job. I..."

I agree, looking back on this. I think I tried to tie up all the loose ends too perfectly, haha! But I've always hated Hana, so maybe this was my way of trying to forgive her myself -- through Lena.

Maddie wrote: "STOP!!!! That was perfect and I even cried a little. I loved it. I might have yelped a little at the Raven part but it was so beautiful!"

You cried? Awwh, that makes me feel so proud. I'm really glad this made you feel even a little bit better because all the nights I stayed up writhing in angst over that horrible lack of closure resulted in this piece. I'll be honest, I'm a better writer now and this probably isn't the best alternative I could write, but as long as it makes you happy, I've achieved somewhat of a goal ^____^

I SO DONT REMEMBER RAVEN BEING PREGNANT! :0 But that ending was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER! Thank you,i needed that.:)

Sorry Lauren Oliver if ur offended.

Ashli wrote: "I SO DONT REMEMBER RAVEN BEING PREGNANT! :0 But that ending was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER! Thank you,i needed that.:)"

You're welcome! :)

:)

OMG now i dont feel sorry for julian anymore
u will be a great writer one day this was amazing
keep writing and thanks for this great ending

Yusur wrote: "OMG now i dont feel sorry for julian anymore
u will be a great writer one day this was amazing
keep writing and thanks for this great ending"

Thank you :) And you're welcome, I'm glad you enjoyed my alternate ending :)

I've read so many alternate ending's to requiem and till now yours is the one i felt made a awesome ending!your writing is great keep it up! :D

Aishwarya wrote: "I've read so many alternate ending's to requiem and till now yours is the one i felt made a awesome ending!your writing is great keep it up! :D"

Thank you! ^^

That is much better. Now I can finally be at peace. You wrote it really well, Cat. It's almost like it was written by Lauren Oliver herself.

Josephine wrote: "That is much better. Now I can finally be at peace. You wrote it really well, Cat. It's almost like it was written by Lauren Oliver herself."

Thank you, I'm extremely glad I did an accurate portrayal of Lauren Oliver's writing style. Hers is much different from mine, of course, but I feel that its the responsibility of a serious fanfic writer to match its source voice. I'm glad my ending gave you closure :)

You're Welcome. Hey, are you a writer, as well as a reader?

Josephine wrote: "You're Welcome. Hey, are you a writer, as well as a reader?"

Absolutely. I'm an avid writer, and (now that I'm in HS & my free time is very limited) I write a lot more than I read, haha.

Hey, that's pretty cool. I like to write a lot, too, but I probably have a lot more free time, since I'm not in high school.

Josephine wrote: "Hey, that's pretty cool. I like to write a lot, too, but I probably have a lot more free time, since I'm not in high school."

Yeah, I wish I had the luxury of free time. At least school's almost over. Although my summer is so filled with things also regarding to school that I doubt I'll have as much free time as I'd like. It's been a struggle to have time to read or write at all ever since I began high school.

I understand. A lot of times, when I get a lot of homework, I barely have time to finish it, my chores, and eat dinner. What are you reading right now?

Josephine wrote: "I understand. A lot of times, when I get a lot of homework, I barely have time to finish it, my chores, and eat dinner. What are you reading right now?"

Same. I haven't read anything in over a year, unless you count Romeo & Juliet for school, which I read a week ago.

Hm. I'm not the biggest fan of Romeo and Juliet.

Josephine wrote: "Hm. I'm not the biggest fan of Romeo and Juliet."

Me neither. I think I gave it one star, haha.

That's all I would give it. It's an okay play, but it's just so popular that everyone uses the concept, and it gets boring after a while.

I can live peacefully now

Thank you so much!
This closure is a life saver! <3