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In dreams, space and time distort in a non logical way. It is as if the mind in dream-state becomes a god that can create or destroy the environment, therefore adapting it to the situation it is dreaming about.
We find the same kind of transformation effect in Alice in Wonderland. Alice moves but doesn't really move, and, if she stays in the same place for too much time, the world changes around her. For example, after falling in the rabbit hole, in which she's not really falling but rather drifting slowly down, but maybe it is the tunnel that is moving up, she lands in a room. Then, when she gets stuck in the room because she couldn't solve the riddle needed to get out, she falls in the lake and from there after wandering a little bit in the forest she opens a door and finds herself again in the room. She never really physically leave the room, it's more that somehow the room disappeared from around her to reappear in front of her. The room, how to go into the small door, is a puzzle. After failing to solve the puzzle and wandering around and gaining knowledge, accepting herself and her new changeable nature with the help of wise masters, when she's ready to solve it the door to go into the room is presented again.
That is, we know today after several decades of cognitive research, typical of dreams and of learning processes through which our mind can memorize informations and solve mathematical or logical problems: if we fail one way, rest and think a little bit, and after a while try to approach from a different point. It is more difficult to solve a puzzle if we keep staying in the puzzle. It is amazing that Carrol writing of almost 200 years ago reflects so well this recent discoveries.




This was my first essay due to being late in subscribing to the course.
These where my peer reviews:
peer 2 � This is a hard topic to discuss: the act of being and not being, disappearing and re-appearing. It has led to a few run-on sentences that were hard to follow at times. Your first paragraph got me really excited to read the rest. It was really well worded and put together. Keep that up! It's important to get your reader engaged from the beginning!
form
peer 3 � As I am no native english speaker, I cant properly judge this, but seems very elaborated to me. Sentences seem to me grammatically correct and the words properly used. Argument was very well and clearly described.
peer 5 � Sentence structure can be improved upon (long and run on sentences) - especially where relating examples from story. Structure of argument and grammar were pretty good.

Content:
peer 2 � I really liked your discussion. It was interesting and not something I had thought of. I would have liked a citation regarding cognitive research to back up your statements.
peer 3 � Yes, there are concrete details from text supporting well elaborated essay about both Lewis´ books. The argument makes sense, and reveals the significance of the insight about puzzle solving allegory. I really appreciate this aspect, it was new to me. I really like this essay and student´s point of view.
peer 5 � Last paragraph brings in sources from outside the reading which is against instructions (sorry! got called out on this myself last week), consider stating as fact that intelligent person would know. Examples helped drive argument clearly and persuasively.


Any additional review is welcome

Miriam

Your central idea in this essay is very good.

However, before getting on to your writing I think you need to clarify the sequence of events you describe. Alice cries and creates a lake of her tears. But she doesn't really end up in a forest and she doesn't really end up back in the same room, but in a similar place. Could you check the sequence of events and then let's talk about your writing.

I am not sure without looking at these chapters again exactly what happens.

I have some suggestions about how to make your writing stronger but first I need to be sure about the sequence of events.

Also, in your last paragraph you refer to "cognitive research" and you imply that you are thinking about research that relates to dreams and dreaming. Can you be be more specific? What research?

I think you are right by the way - dreams do have a strongly repetitive aspect to them as if, like Alice, we are trying to solve problems that need to be reiterated in several slightly different ways.

We never really get solutions in dreams - or if we do then only rarely - but we do seem to get constant repetitions of scenarios that are similar but never quite the same, just as as they are for Alice.

Miriam, this is a very intelligent, in-depth analysis of the events that Alice encountered. You were able to give a reason why the events occurred the way they did. Frankly, reading the book just gave me a headache. But you, apparently, understood the reason for all the unexplainable events -- the events that have no logic to them. You found the logic, and I am impressed. I would give you 3 for content.

As to form, generally, your sentences are clear and understandable. Here are some areas where I can articulate improvement:

1. "non logical" is a compound word, therefore it needs a hyphen: non-logical.

2. Your second sentence will be clearer with commas: "It is as if the mind, in dream-state, becomes a god that can create or destroy the environment..." Also in this sentence, "dream-state" is not a compound word, therefore it does not need a hyphen.

3. "For example, after falling in the rabbit hole, in which she's not really falling but rather drifting slowly down, but maybe it is the tunnel that is moving up, she lands in a room." The word "rather" is unnecessary, as it is a modifier that means, "to a certain degree." Your idea would sound stronger without the sub-modifier. Also, the second "but" seems to stop the reader in his thought process, because you introduced a "but" -- a condition. If you replace it with "or," the sentence will go on it merry way. And it will be clearer if this clause was on its own aside, either in parentheses or dashes. I prefer dashes. Thus, it will read like this: "For example, after falling in the rabbit hole, in which she's not really falling but drifting slowly down -- or maybe it is the tunnel that is moving up? -- she lands in a room."

There are other places in the essay where you need to put commas. The basic principle is to separate your ideas, phrases and clauses. I am an advocate of short sentences. One idea, one sentence.

As for your reviewer who claims that you cannot cite outside sources, I am sure you know by now that he/she is wrong.

I am looking forward to David's evaluation. I think he is right that your structure could have been stronger.

Fay wrote: "Miriam, this is a very intelligent, in-depth analysis of the events that Alice encountered. You were able to give a reason why the events occurred the way they did. Frankly, reading the book just g..."

thank you Fay, this was my first experience with essays of this type in English (or any other language). Thank you for spotting my grammar mistakes, not being my first language sometimes I find myself translating rather than writing in the correct English form and that is how those strange phrases and convulsed sentences come out.

David wrote: "Miriam

Your central idea in this essay is very good.

However, before getting on to your writing I think you need to clarify the sequence of events you describe. Alice cries and creates a lake of ..."

thank you David :) I would love to know your other ideas about it, if you have time. I forgot to copy here the citation to the cognitive research on dreams and problem solving.