Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ

Hi all, not sure if this is the right folder to post in but hope mods will move it if not... I'd like a range of opinions on this.

I write thrillers in which the lead character happens to be lesbian and yes the books do involve f/f romance. Lots of profanity, not much sex, definitely not erotica (sorry!) - they are thrillers.

I have only just started publishing them and am shocked by the amount of abusive messages I get on FB or people who complain about the character being lesbian. I have several a week I need to hide/ban from my FB page and have had to request Amazon to delete a review for being offensive (which they did). It's like I have managed to get onto some sort of organised hate list.

I keep copies of the messages and posts (they may form a book in themselves one day...) and I get messages like these - have cut out the profanity:

"I want my money back you ****. If I had known this book would be pro gay propaganda I wouldnt of bought it."

"Halfway through the book I suddently realised **** was a woman and I felt sick. You should have to declare in the book describtion that this is a gay book so people dont buy it."

"Your book was offence to god and nature. You ruined a good story by attacking the church and promoting your political ideas..."

And on, and on. As this is now becoming more than just an isolated thing, I get really angry about it (but I am not the confrontational type). How should I be dealing with it? This is what I do:

- if it comes on my FB page I hide the post and ban the person. I do not engage.
- if it comes on Amazon I tolerate it if I think the criticism is mostly literary rather than anti-LGBT (eg like this: "Some rather unlikely circumstances, a lot of four-letter words, and a lot of pro-lesbian polemics...Otherwise, not too bad.")
- but if the review is based almost entirely on hating the fact the main character is lesbian, then I have complained to Amazon and they have taken the review down. (I do support free speech, though not hate speech?)
- after one really ugly attack I thought OK, I will change the cover of my first book and put the flag on it, and I started doing that (on Kobo/Nook the cover has the flag in the top right corner) but then I thought, no, why should I?!

Should I react differently?
Should I engage with these jerks?
Should I let their reviews stand?

It makes me sad and angry, I guess I just should ignore it.

Thx in advance,

TJ

PS I should say I also get many lovely reader comments and posts and they are the majority which keeps me sane.

/author/show...

Sadly, I think engaging the haters in any way is useless. Nothing you say is going to change their views and it would just add to your stress. I commend you on your logical actions.

~smooches~

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. It's debilitating creatively and robs you of any faith in humanity, diversity and compassion. I stopped reading reviews, as well.

I kind of feel if I don't respond, then they win.

T.J. wrote: "I kind of feel if I don't respond, then they win."

More like if you DO respond, they win. That's how trolls work.

Even noticing what they say is what they are looking for.

T.J. wrote: "I kind of feel if I don't respond, then they win."

The question here is what is being won? I think you are taking reasonable steps by blocking posters you find offensive and asking Amazon to remove inappropriate reviews. The comments that you posted above show people with certain prejudices being made unhappy because of their own thinking, nothing more. Leave them to it.

I do take the point and that's been my approach until now. A friend I discussed this with quoted to me "The Only Thing Necessary for the Triumph of Evil is that Good (people) Do Nothing" and said my approach is akin to doing nothing. He's speaking from the moral high ground because recently he got on television for a citizens arrest of a bicycle thief when everyone else was just ignoring this guy clipping locks and loading bicycles onto a truck.

Maybe he's right and it's worth the angst to confront this head on. Are there any examples of people taking that approach successfully I could learn from? Or just examples where it backfired...

T.J. wrote: "I do take the point and that's been my approach until now. A friend I discussed this with quoted to me "The Only Thing Necessary for the Triumph of Evil is that Good (people) Do Nothing" and said m..."

It seems to me that you are taking reasonable action when posters actually cross a line. I certainly wouldn't say you are doing something akin to nothing. But to answer your question, I have seen a handful of stories where direct confrontation has backfired and none where it has been successful.

T.J. wrote: "I do take the point and that's been my approach until now. A friend I discussed this with quoted to me "The Only Thing Necessary for the Triumph of Evil is that Good (people) Do Nothing" and said m..."

If he's not dealing with the same thing you are, then his point has no weight to it. Angry people on the internet aren't the same as a single person committing crimes, no matter how it's sliced.

Lysistrata wrote: " Angry people on the internet aren't the same as a single person committing crimes, no matter how it's sliced..."

That is very very true. Internet conflicts tend just to result in flame wars, where face to face has a greater chance of 'peaceful resolution'. I think I'll continue the 'proactive passive' approach, thanks!

I wish there was more you could do, but I agree with everyone else. I think everything you're doing now is highly appropriate: complaining to Amazon about inappropriate reviews so they're taken down, hiding inappropriate posts on FB, reporting inappropriate Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ posts if you get any - those are all good active things. Unfortunately beyond that, not much else to do.

I agree you should ignore the trolls, unless you enjoy masochistic conversations. And, don't let it bother you. It's impossible to debate stupid, bigoted people, especially those of 'faith''.

What you are doing seems sound. Do not engage. Can you tag the books to people know going in that here there be lesbians? (I have no idea how that works.) I haven't gotten nasty reviews myself (other than a trans phobe) so wonder if people avoid my book to start with. You might also think about who your audience is and what's the best way to reach them (and avoid the trolls). Sorry you have to deal with this. Good luck.

My condolences T.J.. I would be dispirited by those comments, and while it's more anecdote-to-anecdote rather than a substantive comparison, I wonder if female authors face that kind of harassment more often than male authors.

I only have three books out (all gay), and I've never received a homophobic review, nor has anyone reached out to me to say they found the book disgusting, offensive, etc.

I HAVE had religious and just plain immature comments pop up on my blog, and lately on my author FB page, but those have all been related to a particular post about LGBT culture or politics (and more recently related to a few of my posts related to racism and immigrant rights).

I delete and ban. I agree with folks above. You can engage in intelligent, respectful debate face-to-face (sometimes), but all bets are off in the Internet world of zero accountability. Based on the comments you shared, I don't see how any of those people were looking to engage in a conversation. At best, you could publish a response that they probably wouldn't bother to read.

Lysistrata wrote: "T.J. wrote: "I kind of feel if I don't respond, then they win."

More like if you DO respond, they win. That's how trolls work."

Keep in mind it's often not a "they" so much as a single person with a lot of screen names. Rational thought is not the order of the day. You will rise above this.

Just a follow up and thanks to people for the advice. I experimented with a version of the book on Nook (for some reason three of the 'complaints' I got were from Nook readers...) with a flag on the front cover to see if that would help.



Over the last month sold exactly the same number of copies as previous months and no abuse/complaints.

Thinking of adopting it on covers for this series on other outlets as well if it will save me the grief of dealing with bigots.

Cheers

TJ

Ack. Sorry you have to deal with that. I'd be angry, too.