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I've only seen the extended edition of Lord of the Rings, and I prefer it. It has many more callbacks and references to the books, and allows for the story to grow better. There ARE a couple of scenes, especially in Return of the King, that didn't quite fit (like the Three escaping from the crack in the mountain, having to SWIM through skulls). But these are by far the better.

I've not yet seen the Hobbit extended editions

I loved the extended editions of LOTR. Even the added bonus material is fascinating. I find myself watching them every year or two - the first two especially since the 3rd one did drag on a bit.

The Hobbit though...I was disappointed in the extended versions, probably because they'd already stretched the story to fill three long movies and the added stuff was probably best left on the cutting room floor, especially the awful song the goblins sing. I really enjoyed the theatrical version of the first film but parts 2 and 3 seemed too long even in the theaters.

I will watch the theatrical release if that's my only option.

But if I have any say at all, extended editions all the way!
I've watched those so many times, that I get irritated about the missing scenes in the theatrical releases now.

I love the extended versions of LOTR.
The Hobbit, I've never seen the extended editions but the whole thing got too long and silly to begin with to me. The Hobbit is a short book and light on action. It only needed to be one movie.