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Tracy wrote: "Regarding the peanut butter issue. At first I was annoyed (I'm the mom with the kids with the life threatening allergies) but then I thought maybe she was using that to demonstrate the lack of actu..."

Yes, I can see that now too. How do the schools your kids attend handle the allergies (and informing other parents)?

1. Has anyone read Frankel's other books that gave you an idea of whether you would like this one?

Nope, never heard of her before this but I very much enjoyed the writing style and would check out former/future books.

2. This book was the October 2018 pick for Reese's book club - does that affect your expectations for the book? (I happened to get an email about this from audible today with the list.)

Nope, I've read two other Reese books one was a 5 star read and the other I seem to be the only human in the world made angry by that book. So right now Reese is 2 for 3 with me.

As I very, very much enjoyed this book for the writing particularly. (view spoiler)[sometimes the parents choices bothered me and I felt like there were transitioning issues that they didn't really address that seemed like an odd choice to avoid.

I think how trans people are treated in school very much differs from place to place. My nephew councils trans teens as a large, large, large part of his job and even within his city the kind of support these kids varies very much by where specifically they are and how supportive the family is and how much they're willing to learn what their options are and advocate for them. (hide spoiler)]

In elementary school I had to do a lot of talking to administrators ( it's all so common now that I don't think it's so necessary anymore). Peanut Butter was eliminated from the classroom, which made some parents pretty mad. I figured they could give their kid peanut butter the other 16 meals a week. My kids had many, many allergies, though so there were all kinds of accommodations needed. The school they also let me keep treats in the school fridge for when there was a special occasion, or provide the treats for classroom parties.

1. Has anyone read Frankel's other books that gave you an idea of whether you would like this one? I have't read anything else by Frankel.

2. This book was the October 2018 pick for Reese's book club - does that affect your expectations for the book? No, I think Reese picks popular books, which may or may not connect with me personally. It's just another group/person recommending this book to me. :)

Monkiecat wrote: "I think this book is more for showing that you can't "parent the trans away" - it's a book about parenting a trans child written by the parent of a trans child, and I do appreciate that the author ..."

Thanks for this reminder!

Lauren wrote: "Going back toward the beginning of the book... what did y'all think about the conversation with the teacher about peanut butter? Do schools really have that restriction?

I'm also curious about th..."

I know a woman who literally cannot be in the same room/area as peanuts or any derivative thereof. She could go literally die from her throat swelling shut, similarly to many who are sensitive to bee/wasp stings, seafood, etc. I am aware of classroom teachers who have banned any peanut products in their classrooms due to such extreme sensitivities, as well as schools that have banned them. It is a real concern...

KF-in-Georgia wrote: "Lauren wrote: "Going back toward the beginning of the book... what did y'all think about the conversation with the teacher about peanut butter? Do schools really have that restriction?"

A lot of s..."

That is such valuable information...what a great soapbox! :)

I am currently awaiting arrival of my copy of this book from Better World Books and hoping it arrives yet this week so I can join in this discussion. Having read all the comments, I am very anxious to read it now!

1. Has anyone read Frankel's other books that gave you an idea of whether you would like this one?

I have not, though I am interested in doing so, depending upon my experience with this one.

2. This book was the October 2018 pick for Reese's book club - does that affect your expectations for the book? (I happened to get an email about this from audible today with the list.)

I really do not care who recommends a book except for a couple of people/celebrities. I believe Reese Witherspoon has selected some books I would feel are excellent reads, but I do not follow any one person's recommendations. (Oprah and Obama are the only two I kinda listen to...)

I rarely research a book prior to reading it. I prefer to know very little about it so I can be as objective as possible in determining my own reaction to it. That said, I always enjoy reading others' reactions just so I can guess what my own might be... Now you all have me even more intrigued than I was! :)

Brandy wrote: "1. Has anyone read Frankel's other books that gave you an idea of whether you would like this one?

Nope, never heard of her before this but I very much enjoyed the writing style and would check o..."

I'm curious... which of Reese's other book club picks did you give five stars, and which one makes you angry?

Lauren wrote: "And we haven't talked about Roo yet... he is an interesting character. What did y'all think of his controversial school project?"

I felt bad for Roo! I think he was trying to be a supportive big brother while also navigating his own issues. He seemed really challenged by the move and having his life uprooted and he didn't really get the support he needed to cope with it. His school project ... seemed like something a teen boy would do for shock value without fully thinking through the implications.

I am about 2/3 of the way through this book. I love these "assigned" reads, because I pick up a book I may not normally choose. That applies to this book. So far I am enjoying it. I love a book where I can get wrapped up in the characters, and this is one of those.

I have never read any of her books before.

I'm not sure what Reese's book club is, but would be interested to find out!

Lauren wrote: "Amanda wrote: "Lauren wrote: "Borrowing this question from The Modern Mrs. Darcy - "In the novel, we see how secrets both bring people together and put distance between them. How do we see both dyn..."

I definitely thought (view spoiler)[ it was a cry for help. To be completely honest, I actually thought he was gay and unsure of how to tell his family, and this was how he decided to go about it. Apparently that was not the case. (hide spoiler)].

Kali wrote: "Lauren wrote: "And we haven't talked about Roo yet... he is an interesting character. What did y'all think of his controversial school project?"

I felt bad for Roo! I think he was trying to be a s..."

I agree - it might be interesting to read a book from Roo's perspective as well...

Amanda wrote: "Lauren wrote: "Amanda wrote: "Lauren wrote: "Borrowing this question from The Modern Mrs. Darcy - "In the novel, we see how secrets both bring people together and put distance between them. How do ..."

Amanda- I thought so too for a quick minute. Poor Roo, just trying to understand and be supportive.

I finished this one yesterday and it was really good. The writing took a minute to get used to, but I felt like it was strong writing.

How'd everyone feel about Grumwald and Stephanie? I cannot believe Penn kept that original and going for so many years. I personally started losing interest in that storyline towards the second half of the book.

Britany wrote: "I finished this one yesterday and it was really good. The writing took a minute to get used to, but I felt like it was strong writing.

How'd everyone feel about Grumwald and Stephanie? I cannot b..."

I'll admit I wasn't following the development of that story too closely. I think it was useful as a way to tie in the theme/lesson though, as Monkiecat explained in message 37. I'm also having trouble remembering what Penn's original book was about, that he had worked on for so long. I don't know if they really got into those details though.

I’m inhaling this book today! About halfway through and love her writing style as it seems to reflect actual thought processes and fragmented conversations. Perhaps it isn’t as typical of narrative prose as you might be accustomed to, but It seems so much more realistic to me.

This would be such a fraught situation with no easy straightforward solutions, IMO. Though I can sense trouble brewing by not divulging the truth, exactly how would you do that? Rosie and Marginny’s awkward initial conversation was proof of that, I think.

I love the fact that this book is exposing so many underlying truths about Claude/Poppy’s situation which would apply to any such child. It really makes me think...and I admit that I am just grateful I never had to deal with such a thing. We were very poor so moving would certainly never have been an option, and we were stuck in a rural midwestern U.S. area that was much more unaccepting. It would have been tough. I doubt my ex-husband could have even begun to accept his own child in a similar situation... So many aspects of societal interactions to reconsider...

Lynn wrote: "I’m inhaling this book today! About halfway through and love her writing style as it seems to reflect actual thought processes and fragmented conversations. Perhaps it isn’t as typical of narrative..."

I'm glad you're enjoying it - thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Thanks for everyone's participation so far! As we're getting close to the end of the month, I'll ask one more question for the group (but if anyone else has questions, ask away!).

Would you recommend this book to all reader friends (or people you generally might recommend books to) or just specific people/groups?

I think there is a range of people I would recommend this too, but especially teachers, and those who have a family member going through difficulties with gender identity or transformation. I'm not sure if I would recommend it to trans folks, though. On the one hand it could be good for them to see a parent's perspective, but also it might create guilt/other issues they might not need added to their plate... What do y'all think?

I would recommend this to anyone and everyone, but especially parents and/or those who are not parents but may be in the future. What do you think about recommending it to teens?

I loved Penn’s story. Grumwald and Stephanie. Just saying that or reading it makes me smile and chuckle! I loved his way of changing it to include recent events, etc. How clever and unique!

Lynn wrote: "I would recommend this to anyone and everyone, but especially parents and/or those who are not parents but may be in the future. What do you think about recommending it to teens?

I loved Penn’s s..."

I think recommending it to teens makes sense. Glad you liked Penn's fairy tale!

I loved it. I'm not sure I can articulate why, but it just left me with a great feeling. I enjoyed the writing style right off the bat, but then when I saw the comment that pointed out it's a fairytale I was like "YES! That makes so much sense!"

Despite being closer in age to the kids, and not being a parent myself, I really enjoyed Penn and Rosie's love story, and then them taking on it all as a team... even when it got to the point that they weren't necessarily seeing eye to eye.

Certainly a book I would recommend to others!

I’m a little behind in the book challenge and just finished this book a few days ago! I really enjoyed the book and fell in love with the characters!

As far as who I would recommend this book to, I’ve already recommended it to my book club who have decided we will read this book in the fall.

As a kindergarten teacher, this book made me stop and think about how I would have approached Poppy and her parents. As a teacher, I’m interested in supporting the whole child, not just their academic needs and want all children in my class to feel safe and loved! This book would be a great read for teachers and a great starting point for a discussion on how to make ALL children feel welcomed into our classrooms!

Late to the discussion here, since I just finished this book off last night. I didn't notice it was the book of the month pick until it was too late to get a copy in time from the library. I really enjoyed it though, and thought it was very interesting, although like others have mentioned above, I wasn't a huge fan of the writing style in some parts (ie. Claude at age 3 really didn't "sound" like a 3-year-old).

I can't speak for other schools, but the ones that I went to always had an explicit policy when it came to severe allergies, and especially peanuts. We were not allowed to bring any peanut or nut products, and this was made clear. There wasn't an attitude of "Well, it's common knowledge so we assume you know" like in the book. I'm sure that approach raises all kinds of liability issues if something were to happen.

I also thought Roo's video was a pretty interesting part of the story. My first impression was that he was trying, albeit not in the best way, to show some of the issues that LGBT people might face in the military. He did it in a way that would clearly be unacceptable in a classroom though, so I'm not entirely sure what his plan was there.

Like others have mentioned above too, I liked the Grumwald/Stephanie storyline at first, but I kind of lost track of it after a while. By the last third or so of the book, I couldn't remember it clearly enough to really keep track of what was happening, which is unfortunate because I felt I'd missed out a bit.

I was also on the fence about the whole Thailand part of the story. It was a cool idea and a great way for Rosie and Poppy to see how people like her were accepted elsewhere, but I also found it a little out of place with the rest of the story and it lost my interest a bit.

In general though, I thought the book was a very interesting one and I would definitely recommend it. I loved seeing how the different members of the family reacted to Claude/Poppy, and how it didn't shy away from showing the confusion and how difficult many of the decisions were.