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Suddenly

A man may die, nations may rise and fall,
but an idea lives on.
John F. Kennedy

Cramming the last piece of toast into his mouth Terry Jones grabbed his jacket and left his apartment for the office.

He’d had the option of a high-rise within walking distance when he was first assigned to Relocations; his reasons for turning it down had seemed sound; cost = astronomical, space = minimal. Now, and not for the first time, he wished he’d taken it. That morning he’d set his alarm earlier than usual in the hopes of beating the rush hour traffic, problem was he never really managed to keep to his schedule (poor time management or lousy schedule?) and he found himself, yet again, bumper to bumper and yet again, late for work.

Brian Olsen made the final adjustments to his tie, jacket and hair before leaving the men’s room and heading to his desk; all the while diligently maintaining an erect 6ft 6in posture, a copy of today’s Times clamped under his right arm, his brief case gripped firmly in his right hand, and as he strode he repeated his mantra over and over in his head ‘today I will excel, today I will exceed all expectations, today I will excel, today I will exceed all expectations�.�

Rain Morgan, stared at the free drinks machine for a few moments before selecting a cappuccino with sugar. Her actual name was Rainbow Sunset, her mother having one her odd moments, but she preferred Rain. She was quickly joined by Debby Jenna and Phillippa Djukovic; just time for a quick debrief of Phillippa’s date with Simon Brookes from Finance.

Peter Illyffe, the divisional manager for Relocations 1, left his office and headed for the usual 8:30 briefing in meeting room 3, aka the cupboard due to its lack of size and windows. His staff fell in behind, a well-rehearsed troupe, that is everyone except Terry Jones who was still driving fruitlessly round and round the car park.

The room filled quickly; those lucky enough to get in the door first grabbed a seat at the table, Peter at their head.

“Morning everyone,� he said, to which there were the usual responses of “morning, morning Peter,� a few nods and coughs and a silky “morning, Boss� from Brian, tall even when sitting down. “No Terry, I see?�

This too was greeted by the usual responses, initial silence, then embarrassed coughs or ums�. followed by a clear and unequivocal “he’s not in yet, Boss� from Brian. Peter made a note in the top corner of his meeting notes, as usual.

“Ok, everyone got a copy of today’s agenda?� general nods everywhere, “good, ok � item one then � the recent merger with Alderson’s. As per our meeting yesterday morning I’ve checked up the line and can confirm that Alderson’s Relocations are being wound down and we will ‘inherit their workload�.�

“Relocations are being relocated.� Phillippa’s quip was not altogether unexpected; there were a few groans.

“Thank you Phillippa,� said Peter.

“How big a workload we talking?� asked Rain.

“Approx half again our existing workload,� replied Peter.

“Will we be getting more staff?� Rain again.

“No,� said Peter.

“But how are we meant to cope with that?� asked Debby, saying what the others were thinking.

“By ‘working smarter�,� Brian jumped in, borrowing one of Peter’s ‘phrases of the moment�, “and if some people spent less time at the coffee machine talking then we’d get a lot more done.�

“Who’re you on about?� demanded Debby, realising too late that by asking the question she had singled herself out. Peter made another note at the top of his meeting papers.

“Moving on� said Peter, sounding tired, “there will be a further meeting at 2pm today with the team from Alderson’s so we can ‘manage the handover� smoothly. Rain and I will attend that. Another quick point, the company will no longer be providing free drinks.�

There was a collective gasp, then “Why’re they changing it?� asked Debby, “I mean we’ve had free coffee for years now.� For some reason her mouth seemed to be working overtime this morning, in the absence of Terry it could be deemed she had assumed his mantle.

“As you all know we’re facing ever ‘stiffer competition� out there, which is one of the reasons we’ve been merged with Alderson’s. The Efficiency Department has identified that the company could save almost £100,000 a year by moving to a ‘pay for your own� drinks environment.�

“Can we bring a kettle and make our own drinks?� asked Phillippa.

“No,� replied Peter, “that would mean providing kitchen facilities � an added expense.�

“What about a flask?� asked Brian.

“Flasks are OK,� said Peter, flashing him a grateful smile.

“If you can drink anything from a flask,� muttered Rain.

“Everyone, now, come to order, please.� Peter was becoming irritated and the strain of not showing it was telling on his stress levels. At that point Terry opened the door and slipped into the room, “Ah! Mr. Jones, glad you could join us.�

“Sorry I’m late,� said Terry “couldn’t find anywhere to park.�

“There were loads of spaces when I got here at 8:00,� said Brian.

“I got held up in traffic,� offered Terry, his expression hopeful.

“Then might I suggest you leave earlier,� replied Brian, “we all make the effort to be here on time, it’s only ever you who’s late.�

“Thank you, Brian,� Peter interceded. “OK the final point, we’ve had a report from C.I.T, the Counter Intelligence Team,� he elaborated, staring pointedly at Phillippa over whose head most things of import were known to sail, “that we have a ‘heightened terror threat� as a result of our merger with Alderson’s.� He waited for the information to sink in then continued by way of explanation, “Apparently we’re now the 3rd largest provider of labour resource in the EU so it makes us an even bigger target.� Phillippa looked on the verge of tears, possibly at being singled out for the stare, the rest were demonstrating variously dismay or affected disinterest but no-one spoke. “So everybody please ‘stay alert, stay vigilant� and re-watch the compulsory DVD ‘Terror and Counter Terrorism�. Remember, ‘we’re all in this together� and it’s up to each and every one of us to …‘keep the workplace safe�.�

Terry winced; he was convinced that Peter’s insistence on speaking in inverted commas and quoting the company watchwords at every opportunity had a damaging effect on his psyche.

“Did anyone see the news this morning?� asked Rain, too brightly. “There was an explosion in the town centre.�

“Yeah,� chipped in Debby, “near Macheson’s.�

“They said something about 20 casualties,� Rain added, “it’s awful�.

“Did they say who it was?� asked Terry.

“It’s a bit early for that kind of info,� snapped Brian.

“I dunno,� defended Terry, “they sometimes give a warning.�

“That’s the Red Freedoms,� said Debby, “the Black Hands don’t give a warning.�

“Which could imply the Black Hands,� said Terry, settling in for a natter on the merits and demerits of one terrorist organisation’s way of doing business versus another.

“OK,� interrupted Peter, forestalling further chat, “Any questions?�

“Parking,� said Terry, opportunistic as ever, “when are they doing something about parking?�

“As we said yesterday and the day before and, oh yes, as we’ve been saying every day in all these months since you joined us, they aren’t going to do anything about the parking, thank you, Terry.� Peter stared round the table, lingering on Phillippa, as if daring any more utterances.

“When are they going to fix the tower clock?� she asked, making a sterling effort to fight back tears.

“And they aren’t going to fix the clock, either, Phillippa. As we’ve already said it will cost too much to repair. Any more questions?�

Silence.

“Good, back to work all of you, except you Terry, if you could just stay back a minute.�

The others filed out of the room and closed the door behind them.

“You were late again Terry.�

“I know but it was the traffic�.�

“Traffic is not an excuse, Terry,� said Peter, “you should know to factor that in to your plans. Also, as I recall, Human Resources offered you an apartment close by when you joined us, a much sought after facility that had only come available due to the unfortunate demise of your predecessor.� He fell silent, possibly in recognition of human frailty and the fact that the previous occupant had thrown himself ungratefully off the 7th floor balcony of the much vaunted facility. “You are paid to be here between the hours of 8:30 and 5:00. It’s up to you to get yourself here on time.�

“Yes,� said Terry, for once recognising a time when the less words said might be the better.

“Everyone else manages to be here. I have to come from further away than you so I leave earlier. Brian always gets here at 8:00.�

“I know,� Terry murmured, humbly, while thinking 'yeah but Brian hasn’t got a life�'

“And he doesn’t leave his desk until 5.45 whereas you are packed and out the door by 5:10 if you can get away with it.�

Again, Brian hasn’t got a life …“I always do my hours…�

“Do you want to see your clocking in sheet?� asked Peter. Terry ducked his head; he knew what it would show. “The thing is Terry, it’s not working out for us; I think we need to move you on.�

Terry grimaced “I’m sorry Peter, I promise I will get here earlier in future.�

“I’m afraid it’s too late, Terry, Galaxy has already collated your data and raised it with Human Resources. They’ve spotlighted you and put in the transfer request.�

“You mean I’m already on the List?� asked Terry. “That was quick.�

Peter gave him a look; he was a strange one and no mistake, “Should come through in a few days. …Obviously you can’t be on site when it comes through, that would create a conflict of interest so your employment with Peter Brookes will be terminated this morning.�

Terry placed his head in his hands; his date with Cathy in Finance had just gone down the pan.

“I’m sorry, Terry but you knew your stats were in the system. It was only a matter of time before Galaxy highlighted you. You know the drill; it’s out of my hands.�

“I know, I know,� said Terry.

“I’m afraid I have to escort you off the premises.� Terry nodded. “Straight from this meeting.�

“Right now? Don’t I get to say goodbye to anyone?�

“Afraid not, you will be clocked out …� Peter flicked through his paperwork, �5 minutes from now. Sorry but there’s nothing I can do.�

“Yeah, I know,� said Terry, “I know how the system works.�

Cheers

Arun