Support for Indie Authors discussion
Fun
>
What are some weird things you have written as a kid?
date
newest »
newest »
Mod
As a young teen, I wrote a long story over many months about myself and my best friend at the time when we were adults. I wrote that we shared a flat in London, had the exact jobs we hoped to have, and over the course of this long, rambling story each dated various guys based on whoever we were crushing on at the time, including both celebrities and boys from our school. Funnily enough, I found it buried in a folder on a hard-drive just the other week and read some of it. The writing was not good (I didn't really expect it to be!) but it gave me a laugh at least :)
When I was twelve, I saw an episode of Reading Rainbow with my younger siblings about making a picture book. It inspired all of us to write our own books. I was the only one who finished it (written over the course of 8th grade). I was quite proud of my sword and sorcery fantasy adventure. When I wrote a fantasy novel as an adult, I included this short story (even kept my original typos) as part of the back matter. It's a terrible story, but it will always hold a special place in my heart.
I wrote a first person short story in class about an alien kid who would “X� people with his mind and they would cease to exist. In the end, overcome with remorse, he x’d himself. My teacher threatened to quit after that.
When I was about 12 or 13, I wrote what was supposed to be a very emotional story about a man who falls in love with a mysterious and exotic woman. Turns out, she's a time traveller from the future and the big twist was that she ended up being her own mother. The incestuous nature of this never occurred to me until years later. I never finished the story, but still have it in a box somewhere. I don't think I'll ever be brave enough to read it again because the writing will no doubt be as cringy as the plot.
More weird things I wrote: When I was still in elementary school, I used to write a variety of crazy songs in my journal. One was in the perspective of a Vietnamese potbellied pig (and specifically a Vietnamese potbellied pig). The song went like this: "Rubber ducky, you make rolling in the mud so fun. Oink oink! Don't forget you are my favorite thing in the world!"
There were also a bunch of random times when I chose to goof off in fifth grade. I once wrote this song about life throwing you lemons. Some of the lyrics went like this: "When life throws you lemons, then make lemonade. Add lots of sugar to your lemonade. Add some ice to cool down your anger!" Yeah, that already tells you everything you need to know about the song.
What's even worse is that I wrote this even crazier poem about farts; it's gross, tone-deaf, out-of-context, and makes William McGonagall look like a lyrical genius. Here's how the poem went:
"The fart
is a work of art.
It makes you say yuck.
But really it gives you lots of luck.
It makes you do 1 million tricks.
It also makes you do some licks."
I even drew a sloppy picture of a butt with the poem, and there was a "fart metir (meter)" attached to it. Yeah, my childhood was ridden with potty humor and craziness.
When I was a freshman at U of F, I wrote a short story about a cigarette. I don’t remember the story too well but it was something like this. The poor thing’s heart was aflame, and after being licked on and sucked on its flame was crushed out by the smoker.
Rob wrote: "When I was a freshman at U of F, I wrote a short story about a cigarette. I don’t remember the story too well but it was something like this. The poor thing’s heart was aflame, and after being lick..."that poor thing
I wrote about a Little Rain Drop. That was my first Children's story.
When I was about thirteen I wrote a poem called “Thou Shalt Not Write with a Red Pen�. My Dad hated red pens. I do remember my English teacher having a bit of a giggle when I handed it up.
When I was about 15, I was at school in the UK and wrote an entire play in Shakespearean language in a little red notebook. Whenever my class was boring, I would escape to the restroom and write and sing my compositions that became the original soundtrack. It was a love story and musical, however I lost the notebook after school while world traveling. Darn.
Here are some of mine; there is a reason why I have never published any of these:
1. When I was in third grade, my classmates and I were required to write stories for "Pack Rat Day;" we had to write about fictional characters who hoarded certain things. My story was about a boy who hoarded pet chickens, but the thing was, his mother was frustrated with the fact that he was hoarding so many chickens, so one day, the boy discovered that the mother came home from work carrying a frying pan, hoping to cook all the chickens. I have vague memories about the exact ending of the story, but I remember writing that the boy stuffed all the chickens into a cardboard box, hoping to hide them, and somehow managed to safely hide the chickens. I am still quite surprised as to how I came up with such a crazy idea.
2. One time in fourth grade, my classmates and I had to take a quiz about making inferences from what we had just read. I have vague memories about the passage, but I remember it was about a boy and a girl who owned horses and seemed to have been brother and sister (we had to infer both of those facts). Anyways, there was this open response that went something like this: "What is the relationship between the boy and the girl?" Obviously, I did not know what the word "relationship" meant in that context---the prompt was probably just asking about kinship and whether or not they were brother/sister, but I thought "relationship" meant how well they got along, and since the brother and sister were kind of arguing and teasing each other, I scribbled the phrase "Their relationship was terrible" in response to that prompt. Of course, I got points marked off, and my parents found out. XD XD
3. When I was around six or seven years old, I wrote this story in my journal called "The Candy Chickens." In summary, it was about these two chickens named Pip and Mime, who lived in a fictional place called Candyville. This was a magnificent village where they only ate candy. However, a villainous chicken called "Veggie Chicken" had built a giant robot intended crush Candyville and replace all of its sweets with vegetables. Of course, the Candy Chickens were enraged and chose to fight the robot. They were able to defeat the robot by squirting poisonous frosting into its mouth. After that, the robot shriveled up (or "triveled" up as I spelled it at the time), and fell apart. Yeah, I had quite a childhood.
4. There was this one time in fourth or fifth grade when I was just messing around with my friends and family. I decided to write this song about how much I hated doing laundry. I still remember all the lyrics. It goes like this:
"I really hate/, laundry day/, you don't even get all the pay/, it makes you say why? why? why?/ I wish I had a piece of cherry pie/, you have to fold, fold, fold until you're old/, it's worse than a bunch of dirty mold."
5. When I was 11 years old, I decided to write this little comic for my father's birthday. Since he enjoyed Star Wars and liked chickens, I decided to write a Star Wars-themed comic where all the characters were chickens. The cover had illustrations of Kylo Ren and Rey (as chickens, of course) having a lightsaber battle and both had internal monologue. Rey had a speech bubble that said "I wish butt boy was gone" and Ren had a speech bubble that said "I hate you poo poo weirdo."
But it doesn't stop from there; my story literally had nothing to do with what actually happened in Star Wars. Long story short, it was supposed to reveal the backstory of Kylo Ren. He kidnapped these three baby chickens and tested them in order to see if they would qualify as stormtroopers. The youngest chicken was stupid, weak, and slow, believing that 2+2=22. The second was average, having moderate speed and strength. He answered the question what does 2+2 equal correctly, but he just took an entire hour to calculate that. The third was the strongest, smartest, and quickest of the three, being able to answer math questions quickly and correctly.
Then the story went on to reveal why Rey (a hen, duh) and Kylo Ren hated each other; the backstory behind their rivalry was incredibly stupid: literally, the reason why Kylo Ren hated Rey was because Rey ATE HIS CELERY!!! Additionally, Rey united with Finn and Poe to create Cluck Force---a force intended to fight against Kylo Ren.
6. Like any other little kid, I really hated homework. I expressed such thoughts in one of my journals. I literally wrote, "I HATE homework. Why do we have to do homework when we work hard at school? Well, people say that homework is practice for learning. Why don't we practice at school? Homework kills trees! It also makes you spend less time with your family. I think I should try to convince the government to take away homework."
7. My desire to write and publish a book started way back in elementary school; even though some of the things I wrote were utterly stupid, I still wanted to publish. Anyways, when I was in fifth grade, I was hand-writing and illustrating a story called "Strange Things Happen." The story was about a girl who was born with purple skin. This girl made friends with a girl who was part potato and a boy who loved cockroaches and pickle juice. This story was supposed to detail a series of strange things that happened in HTAED school, like Elmo dolls invading the classroom, students' brains growing eyes and slinking out of their heads, etc. HTAED was seemingly an acronym for the ideals the school supported, but in reality, the girl discovered that HTAED spelled backwards was DEATH and the principal, who was her real father, was causing these evil schemes to happen.
8. In a lot of my journal entries from second grade, I would always write the word "favorite" the same way I would pronounce it: "fravrote." "My fravrote things," "my fravrote part," "my fravrote thing---" it was endless!