"2.5 stars. This was emotionally exhausting "

"tiktok feminism you will pay for your crimes"

"This is the most difficult review I’ve ever written. So much so I had 4 attempts at writing it, and in the end scaled back much of what I wanted to say (including 17 of my most important themes and issues), to just a core few. Unlike Harry I deliberately tried to moderate what I have to say, which is incredibly challenging when reviewing this memoir. It is also especially challenging but important to keep your review concentrated on what is actually written in this book (including its publicity) and for that reason, I have made great efforts to set aside what I know and what I'm hearing, because to review this honestly it is important to ignore the rumour mill and the other news stories, and set aside your own perceptions. So my comments are based on what Harry has written in his book and in part his media circus surrounding its publication. All in the name of privacy.

The reality is this. I too can highlight the many holes and inaccuracies in Harry’s stories, dates, and his own conflicting verbiage. I too can lash out at his many frivolous and insulting remarks that were so unnecessary and excruciatingly petty. I too can argue that many of Harry’s claims are based on his perception and personal choice and do not come with a fact base or credible evidence. However, my dislike of this fictional story goes much deeper, is much more fundamental and gets to the heart of someone’s character, their motives, and principles or lack of. Now you can see why I struggled with this so much, yet much of my own personal views will remain private.

Regardless of which side you take on this, everyone that cares enough will find this all very sad. I am sure there are lessons to be learned on all sides in this family saga, and no shortage of regrets. Yet one thing I know for sure, we will never get to the real truth because one side will not resort to the petty and sometimes damaging allegations made by Harry, in this book. So William is nothing but an easy open target because he is part of an establishment that “never complains and never explains�, even when his wife is subjected to abuse from the media (much more than Meghan over the years).

The themes and core issues

Whose privacy rules and standards do we follow and when? By writing this book Harry has sought worldwide media attention. He has signed a multiple book deal, featured in the Netflix series and engaged in a number of nonchallenging interviews, which is completely contrary to what he espouses which is privacy. And by doing so he has denied the Royal Family the privacy he supposedly craves. He has broken the privacy rules with regards to the late Queen, the now King, the future King, his stepmother, his sister-in-law, his friends, wider family, and his army colleagues - just about everyone really and that I find incredibly hypocritical. He even has the audacity to complain about his mother’s former butler, Paul Burrell, in the book when he is doing much worse- in his book. This is sheer hypocrisy on a monumental scale.

Whose safety do you really care about? The second issue I have is that Harry left the UK to allegedly keep his family safe. I say allegedly because the narrative keeps changing. Even after reading the book, I am still unclear what the current version of events are and what his story is today. At what point will he be or was he telling the truth?

Here is my deep concern. By publishing a kill count of 25 Taliban fighter’s aka chess pieces (in his own words) he has increased the risk to himself, his family, and many others in military service. I find this abhorrent and immoral, because every death is someone’s child, father, brother, or friend, and even in war we should respect that. What prudent person publishes a tally? My GR friends may recall, I recently read Diamond Eye, where the MC was a female sniper and whilst a heroine in the eyes of many, she actually kept a body count of her kills which did not sit well with me, for the same reason. Respect. Who does that? Yet once again Harry takes no responsibility and has since tried to change the narrative by blaming the press for manipulating his words despite the fact that this sordid comment is written by him in his own memoir.

Diana had two sons, remember that when reading this story. I for one will always remember the heart-breaking image of Diana’s two sons walk behind their mother’s coffin. A life changing event for the boys she loved, which caused mental health issues for BOTH sons growing up, something they jointly opened up about and campaign for. Yet Harry does this publicly to William.

Whilst the pain is evident in Harry's story, I ask myself, what mother, and particularly Diana, would be pleased and supportive of a son who has consciously and deliberately set out on a campaign to work against the other. By writing a book that will be forever in print and with allegations that don’t stack up in my opinion, Harry has created this impossible situation for Diana’s eldest son, knowing that William won’t or can’t respond. Does Harry believe that the mother he refers to often in the book would be proud?. William is a soft open target for Harry, which is why I have lost so much respect for Harry having taken this course of action. It would appear he is emotionally obtuse or ill advised or both. Either way someone is on the receiving end and its Diana's eldest son who she was very protective off as the future King. A life she knew would be dedicated to 'service' and 'duty' while Harry had much less restrictions and more freedom. See here is the different lens to 'Spare'.

Have you ever tried to warn a family member against their choice? It is not easy but what does a loving sibling do when you have deep concerns? You do what William did - voice your reservations, but unfortunately, this seems to be what sits behind much of this sorry affair. Harry doesn’t want to hear or accept it. From what Harry has shared it would appear these conversations did not go well, and neither son comes out blameless, particularly the one when William allegedly grips Harry’s shirt. A lesson I hope all will learn from. Time will tell who was right though.

There was one point in this whole saga that had me seething and sad and its when Harry claims that William recently says …I love you, Harry, on our mothers life I love you� God you can hear the anguish felt by William in those words. Yet Harry admits to throwing it back in William’s face, and then this guy claims he wants a reconciliation. Sorry Harry, as was your response - I don’t believe you and bleep bleep to the rest of what you said here. Disgraceful.

I’m in a minority here on GR, by rating this a �1� because most people I know who have a problem with Harry’s behaviour, integrity, and motives for writing this book have chosen not to waste their money or time on it. Which potentially provides a distorted view of UK public opinion, in particular.

Comments about the book’s writing style and structure

Had Harry thought about what he wanted to achieve from the book, he might have structured the book differently and placed greater emphasis on what was important for us to hear and what was important for the narrative he wanted to share. Instead this came across as an emotional download and mental dump of Harry’s lifelong grievances, and aimed at anyone who had an opposing view. This does not make him a victim, instead the pendulum swung the other way and this overload for the reader just painted him as vengeful and spoilt in my eyes. Yet we do know from our own history that Harry had some genuine issues with the press for example (the press also managed his image during his years of alcohol and drug abuse -which he admits to in the book) but all this was lost amongst so much needless complaints and insults directed towards others, and I just reached saturation point, with little accountability accepted or owned by Harry.

Let me explain what I mean about having an objective. For example, if you wanted reconciliation then share the wrongs in a considered and constructive way and explain what it is you hope to fix and then let your actions support that. If you want the world to know you are at peace with yourself, then remove these rantings, because this book has achieved the opposite. If this story was to expose the media as part of your unwinnable war against the press, then why attack William the way you have?. By trying so hard to paint himself as victim, he created too many so called ‘enemies� that in the end you could see why some people like me could conclude that the common problem here is in fact �. Harry. I am deliberately leaving Meghan out of this review.

In terms of writing style, the book felt as though it was written by many different authors. Clipped sentences were replaced with more descriptive prose and much longer sentences, which seemed at odds with a book that had so many chapters. However, it was a stroke of genius to narrate your own story. A very clever marketing accomplishment that no doubt will have lured people and captured the sympathy of many readers. Even I was moved in the early chapters when I relived Diana’s death in particular, but when the venom kicked in and the objectivity was notably missing. Harry lost me.

Had a level of sensitivity and maturity been applied to this story I might have responded differently. Had he shown some restraint and not made such unnecessary and insulting remarks about other people, I might have had some sympathy for the unsavoury press coverage he receives. Had I not believed in my heart that this was financially motivated, then I would have reacted differently. Had I not found the level of hypocrisy so distasteful, then I would have appraised this differently altogether. Had I not read Harry’s own words then I might never have been aware that this was in some part or largely driven out of revenge or jealousy, for his older brother and an accident of birth that he was born second. And finally, had Harry applied some level of objectivity then I might have respected some of what he was saying. For example the royal family have chosen a different approach to dealing with the press instead of Harry’s unwinnable war and his 20+ lawsuits. They want to rise above it and often ignore the stories written about them and advised Harry to do the same. Not only does he disagree with them, but he actually accuses them of planting the petty stories, he refers to in his book. Really - just sit back and think about it!!!

Unfortunately one of my biggest issues with this book is its credibility. Is the book to explain the narrative? or is the narrative being written to suit and sell a book and his story now?. Had Harry come out at the beginning and stated his case or even hinted at the hurtful and damming accusations he is now making about his family. Had we been given a glimpse of this story he is now pedalling, (with the exception of the media) then the book might have felt more credible, his version more believable. Instead, it feels like it is only after his proposals to become a part time Royal were rejected that he has decided to be angry with his family so much so that he needs to tell the world about it. You would want out of this situation altogether if all this were true - not negotiate a different ‘Royal� role that would allow you to pursue the celebrity lifestyle and fame that this couple appear to crave. I know what I think but it is up to you to draw your own conclusions.

There was something to be said about the mystery and speculation surrounding the RF which allowed people like me to keep an open mind, because I thought there was more to it than what we were being told. Harry has dispelled any of those doubts. There is nothing of substance and no significant revelations that would go any way to justifying and explaining Harry’s betrayal of his family and their privacy.

In summary

Harry claims to have secured his personal peace, but at what cost? The cost of betraying his family, army colleagues, friends, and the institution of the monarchy whilst at the same time compromising the privacy and potentially the security of others, including his family. Publishing his body count was immoral and insensitive to those impacted and his military colleagues. The way he has attacked William, feels disproportionate to anything William might have done and if there was something else then I’m sure Harry would have told us. So all of this has exacerbated an already strenuous relationship and makes any kind of reconciliation unlikely, but certainly more difficult.

In my view, his gripe over being a ‘spare� is disrespectful to the institution and the tax payers who support it, Many of us who have witnessed Harry's indulgent and privileged lifestyle over the years, when he was 3rd in line to the throne, will find this discourteous. Harry has had life handed to him on a silver plate, had the best of everything, and lived in some stunning homes. Yet he is that out of touch with the 'public mood' in the UK and so blinkered he would hope you would see him as a 'victim' and justified in ripping his family apart because he has had disagreements with his family, he was born second and had a smaller bedroom in Balmoral castle for example. Enough. Please, no more.

Some readers will feel empathy for Harry’s statement that the RF will someday regret not being there for him during the second most difficult period of his life because they failed to defend him publicly. Yet they DO NOT defend themselves, their wives, and the wider family because it is their motto to ‘never complain, never explain�. Not some elaborate plan to oust a couple that could have offered so much. Not a case of treating couples differently as they would have you believe. Perhaps the RF need to reevaluate this motto they live by. Perhaps not because by in large it has prevented them from being embroiled in petty skirmishes with the media, that Harry himself seems intent on having when he’s not using them to support his book or to his own ends. Instead, they have risen above it and not challenged the stories, and if Harry really believes the RF would invest time in sharing stories with the press over lipgloss, a flower girls dress or whether a prince should wear a beard - then I fear for him. So, by publishing this bitter book that is heavily weighted against and critical of William, Harry has likely created the second most difficult time in Williams life and this course of action was deliberate and venomous. You are right, there will be regrets someday and it will be for writing this book. Hopefully you have now exhausted your bile. Now ‘spare� us any more of this!!!

And to remove any notions of bias, as a pro royalist. I am not a Royalist or in favour of keeping a large royal family. Some maybe because of the charity work they do and the causes they champion like William's 'Earthshot' programme, which is the stuff we really should be focused on. I also have issues with the lives of some of the RF but I am not here to comment on those. I am here to respond to Harry's book, his one-sided oxymoronic self indulgent story and his unverified allegations.

So please ‘spare� us anymore of this. Please enjoy your life in America. I sincerely wish you do something meaningful with your life, instead of swapping financial support from the RF with money gleaned from attacking the Royal Family. Having listened to Harry’s story, I have come out of this believing the real victims here are William and Kate. William who conducts himself so well publicly, but is restricted by protocol and Kate who has always remained dignified and classy. A wonderful ambassador for the RF. If only they could tell their side of the story. Yet Harry would have you believe Williams story is out there and this is Harry’s chance to tell his - what an insult to everything we have seen, witnessed and endured. Spare us please. Go live your life.

And no more memoirs for me. I found this too challenging but I stand by my considered views that I deliberated over for a long time, although it has still pained me to express them, because Harry was once my favourite Royal."