Elanke's Updates

"where to even start?

•firstly, this book was entirely too damn long. there were so many chapters that just seemed to drag on & on for no reason other than to reach a word count. a clear example i can think of of this was orion’s funeral chapter. so much of the content of the chapter could’ve been cut out and wouldn’t have made a difference to the story. a lot of fanfic writers seem to think the more words=a better story but that is the furthest thing from the truth. when writing every word needs to count and if it doesn’t add any value to the story, TAKE IT OUT!

•there were certain elements included in the story that i just feel did not need to be there. what was the point of them being in a catholic school? anytime religion was brought up it just sort off offset the tone of the story and felt like something that was wedged in there. and in the later chapters the wolfstar sex scenes started bordering on gratuitous which i usually dont have a problem with but when your chapters are so long they’re a whole chore to get through im really not in the mood.

•i have never hated sirius black in any fic than i do in this one. every time he opened his mouth i felt like punching him in the face. sirius is my all time favorite marauders era character so for me to dislike him the way i do here is saying a lot. from the beginning of the story he got on my nerves. wdym you have to play your music at full volume blast just because you have mommy issues. remus has mommy issues but you didnt see him going around inconveniencing his friends at the slightest turn. this fic made me realize how insufferable the marauders probably were and if i had them in my school i would’ve probably hated their guts

•speaking of cringe nicknames all the nicknames in this were actually SHITE. daisy, cherry, snatchy-WTF WAS THAT ONE?!?! it made me wanna throw my phone across the room anytime anybody used them. also the origin of moony was sooo icky

•this is the biggest issue in the book in my opinion: lottie & roger’s relationship WTF WAS THAT??!?! they started dating when lottie was SEVENTEEN and roger was like TWENTY SEVEN and nobody said anything about it. they were all weirdly in support of it and peter was demonized for calling out the weird age gap LIKE WHAT?!?! i thought i was losing my fucking mind reading anything that concerned them

•speaking of people being villainized lets talk about the shit way moira was treated in the book compared to the rest of the female characters. firstly none of the female characters were given any sort of character development or were made to be fleshed out, which is usually a pattern in marauders era fanfics but it has never been so prevalent as in this one. wdym lily evans passed up on an opportunity to go to OXFORD to play housemaid for them?!?! and at the end where they said she was going on tour with them?!?! what about her school?? her education?? we never even learnt what it was she was majoring in. lily was basically a glorified groupie and moira was made to be villainized because she had dreams and aspirations for herself that didnt just involve being a marauders fangirl. like why was she getting shitted on cause she wanted her bf to have better friends?? and the way sirius spoke to/about her most times?? peter & moira ought to have double tagged him and jump his ass.

•last issue i dont like how giles is basically erased from the book after he graduates from school. remus remembers he exists in the last chapter and we get some half assed closure for him. hopefully the author does better on this in part 2.

•tonya & tomny were icons and were very easily the highlight of this book

all in all the book was fine. i was expecting this life-altering piece of literature with the way marauders fans talk about it and the only thing i really got from it was muggle au marauders fan fic dont really work case it always seems to be trying to work in some of the magical elements and it throws the whole book off.

3.5⭐️⭐️⭐️&��ܴǳ�;