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“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa

“Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.”
― Frank Zappa

“If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”
― Frank Zappa

“If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”
― Frank Zappa

“A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.”
― Frank Zappa

“Information is not knowledge.
Knowledge is not wisdom.
Wisdom is not truth.
Truth is not beauty.
Beauty is not love.
Love is not music.
Music is THE BEST.”
― Frank Zappa

“Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny.”
― Frank Zappa

“I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.”
― Frank Zappa

“Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.”
― Frank Zappa, The Real Frank Zappa Book

“Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read.”
― Frank Zappa, The Real Frank Zappa Book

“Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'
Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?”
― Frank Zappa

“There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.”
― Frank Zappa

“Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts. Some of you like Pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read.”
― Frank Zappa

“A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.”
― Frank Zappa, The Real Frank Zappa Book

“The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.”
― Frank Zappa

“It's better to have something to remember than anything to regret.”
― Frank Zappa, The Real Frank Zappa Book

“My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.”
― Frank Zappa

“Art is making something out of nothing, and selling it.”
― Frank Zappa

“Music is the only religion that delivers the goods.”
― Frank Zappa

“There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.”
― Frank Zappa

“Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.”
― Frank Zappa

“I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're cute, maybe you're beautiful. I just want to tell you somethin' â€� there's more of us UGLY MOTHERFUCKERS than you are, hey-y, so watch out.”
― Frank Zappa

“The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced.”
― Frank Zappa

“Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?”
― Frank Zappa

“Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex.”
― Frank Zappa

“I'm vile and perverted.
I'm obsessed and deranged.
I've existed for years but very little has changed.
I'm the tool of the government and industry too.
For I'm destined to rule and regulate you.
You may think I'm pernicious, but you can't look away.
I'll make you think I'm delicious with the stuff that I say.
I'm the best you can get... have you guessed me yet?
I'm the slime oozing out of your TV set....”
― Frank Zappa

“There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.”
― Frank Zappa

“All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.”
― Frank Zappa

“You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer.”
― Frank Zappa

“Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.”
― Frank Zappa