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“Aristotle said a bunch of stuff that was wrong. Galileo and Newton fixed things up. Then Einstein broke everything again. Now, we’ve basically got it all worked out, except for small stuff, big stuff, hot stuff, cold stuff, fast stuff, heavy stuff, dark stuff, turbulence, and the concept of time”
― Zach Weinersmith, Science: Abridged Beyond the Point of Usefulness

“When they realized they were in the desert, they built a religion to worship thirstiness.”
― Zach Weiner

“Everyone lives a lie. Pick a lie you like.”
― Zach Weiner

“Oh my God. For most of eternity, I won't exist. That leaves two options: live forever or destroy the universe. Hm... I may have to quit my day job for this.”
― Zach Weiner

“Augie. You're a good girl," said Dad. This was more hope than truth. "You're nine and a half."
"NINE," she corrected. She hated how adults never rounded down to the nearest integer when talking to children.”
― Zach Weinersmith

“Any time freedom is allowed it will be abused. This is not a flaw in freedom (else police states might be more desirable) but a flaw in humanity.”
― Zach Weiner, Polystate: A Thought Experiment in Distributed Government

“Dawn rose, like a jerk.”
― Zach Weinersmith, Bea Wolf

“If people spent as much time studying as they spent hating, I’d be writing this from a goddamn moon-base.”
― Zach Weiner

“99% of gifts from God are gag gifts.”
― Zach Weinersmith

“If you suspect that you suck, you will probably suck. This is called the self-fulfilling prophecy. If you suspect you are great, you will probably suck. This is called the Dunning-Kruger effect. There’s an obvious deduction to be made here, but you probably missed it.”
― Zach Weinersmith, Science: Abridged Beyond the Point of Usefulness

“However, a well-developed sense of ethics and a well-developed stock portfolio are not always tightly correlated.”
― Zach Weiner, Polystate: A Thought Experiment in Distributed Government

“Jeez. Relax. You're a monkey barely out of the trees. Look at you! You had to be trained to not shit yourself. And it took years. Now you're thousands of miles from the savannah, wrapped in plant fiber and animal skin to keep warm, and you're walking around grumbling about how some other monkeys don't like what kind of monkey you are.

Go climb a tree or jump in a lake. Howl at the moon! Dig a wild flower and gift it to a monkey you like! But for God's sake, don't spend your short little monkey life sad. That's like finding out you only get one piece of fruit, then picking the moldy apple below the tree!”
― Zach Weinersmith

“A natural monopoly is, in short, when a service or good is provided most efficiently by a single provider. Tullock’s claim is that a natural monopoly will (naturally) be run in an inefficient manner. If this is the case, government intervention may well be warranted. However, what if we consider the government of a geostate as having a natural monopoly over coercion?”
― Zach Weiner, Polystate: A Thought Experiment in Distributed Government

“The squire located a few common fauna -â€� a frog, a newt, and an amphisbaena. One of those animals may sound unfamiliar, so if you’ve never seen a frog, it’s like a goat, but with the head of a lizard and the body of a grasshopper. The newt was a cauldron-ready cooking newt, and the amphisbaena was pretty much your run-of-the-mill amphisbaena.”
― Zach Weinersmith, Augie and the Green Knight

“Make no more clouds.
I have drawn the rainbow here.”
― Zach Weinersmith, Bea Wolf

“Okay," she said. "I'm going to start with four basic principles of civilization. 1) Ethics is based on consent. 2) Victims shall not mete out justice themselves. 3) Government serves the will of the people. 4) Giant unwashed beards are gross.”
― Zach Weinersmith, Augie and the Green Knight

“Applied war is where the money's at. I don't mean that figuratively. Defense is 140% of the UVE budget. Offense is twice that. This is possible because there is no budget for math education.”
― Zach Weinersmith

“There are exactly three numbers: 0, 1, and âˆ�. The use of anything else is a form of dandyism.”
― Zach Weinersmith, Science: Abridged Beyond the Point of Usefulness

“we tend to share things because they convey information to other people that we would like them to know, either about us or about the world. But, in general, that isn’t what great art does.

...people who master the viral will be the ones likely to have full time careers. So, the art we get will be more and more viral, less and less good...

art becomes ever more about [merely] displaying one’s views to the observer.”
― Zach Weinersmith

“YOU CAN ONLY BEHEAD PEOPLE WHO DESERVE IT, IF THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE SOLUTION”
― Zach Weinersmith, Augie and the Green Knight