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Me, being fly. *coughs*This week, I be fly.

Too fly to really deal with Friday Feedback.

Too fly to use proper grammar, apparently.

Too fly to sound as if I could ever even really be fly.

(I entertain myself, you know.)




At any rate. That *points up* is me, being fly. Okay, not really. That was me trying to show someone the color of my new pink sunglasses.

They fly.

No? Really?

Fine. Whatever.

It's been a fun,ÌýhappyÌýweek. Included in the fun, is the fact that The Pull of Gravity was named to the Bankstreet list of .ÌýI am HUGELY honored (and thrilled to see a few Ìýfriends' books in there, too!). Then, there was the whole film option thingy I was talking about Ìýif you missed it. Whether it happens or not, it is kinda fly to be chatting on the phone with a Hollywood producer, don'tcha think?

And, then, maybe there's some other stuff, too, super top secret CIA-like things, that I'm not at liberty to discuss yet.

Plus, my boys are on vacation, and they're both happy, and my hubby is a gem, so, I'm just waiting to get hit by a bus. >:(

But I digress.

Friday Feedback. Here we go. You know the rules. Okay, fine, if you don't, they're . Today, I'm revisiting an old WIP (Work In Progress) I hadn't touched or looked at in more than a year. I started to rework the opening again the other day, so I'm posting it here. It's a real "" rework, so, you know, take it with a grain of salt.

photo credit: SciencePhotoLib.
Delias hyparete metarete � Common name � Painted Jezebel

Ìý

Chapter One

It is believed that the Jezebel’s brightly-colored underside
serves as a warning pattern to predatory animals.

The butterflies arrived on a Saturday, but I waited till Sunday to open them. I needed Max’s help with the greenhouse.
It was late April, and I’d been dating Max Gordon a few weeks by then. That particular day stuck with me because of how he built the greenhouse, and also because of what Aubrey said.
It’s funny how my mind goes back to that spot each time, to how Max helped me, and to the stupid little thing that Aubrey said. As if I had heeded it, it might actually have changed the course of things. With Mom, and Aubrey, and Ethan.
Max was at my desk, working on the frame, and Aubrey and I sat together on my bed, tackling the smaller boxes with the butterfly larvae.ÌýWell, I tackled, while Aubrey lazed about, bored and inattentive.
It bugged me how Aubrey always used to like the butterflies almost as much as I did, until she started hanging around with those other girls. ---
Happy Friday! Post your stuff in the comments for feedback. - gae

The Pull of Gravity has been optioned for film.

Don't throw confetti or sound the party horns just yet.


First, I know this may be news to you, but itÌýisn'tÌýnews to me. I've known since last summer there was interest.

In fact, the Producer and I haveÌýemailed and Skyped on and off for months and we seem to be dilly-dallying and taking our sweet time about getting the option agreement signed, even as the film plans forge ahead.

(I tell you this: Lawyers are their own worst clients. Author/lawyers, likely worse than the worst).


So, I know I don't sound uber excited.

But, I am.

But, here's the thing:

A movie option is a very Iffy thing. Like that, with a capital I.

IF they raise the money, and IF they get the right people, and IF blah, blah, blah, etc., etc.,ÌýTHEN a movie will (might?) get made.

I know a bunch of writer friends with stalled or dead option deals. It's just the way that it goes.

So, it's not that I'm not flattered and excited, because,Ìýtrust me. I promise you,ÌýI am.

It's just that it's all very pie in the sky.

Now, I likeÌýpie.

And, there's no better placeÌýto enjoy some nice pice than inÌýthe sky.

(why not?)


You just can't count on it. Not yet.

But, what I can count on?Ìý The newsÌýbringing me some laughs.

"I want to play Scoot. Sure, I'm a middle aged
black guy, and he's a sickly white teen. . ."For a facebook addict like me, the best thing about good
(or fun or exciting)Ìýnews
is sharing it
with my ridiculous virtual friends.Ìý

True story: I typed virtuous by accident first, instead of virtual.

And,Ìýtrust me on this, my facebook friends are anything but virtuous.*


But they are funny and sincere, and, on the high and low days, especially, a source of constant comfort and entertainment.


So, yeah, good news is fun, like, say, if you have a movie option on your book.


But it's really only fun if you have good peeps to share it with, and join in the fun. Which I do, and am grateful for every day.*



- gae

* if you are under the age of 19, and because we are not always virtuous on my private page,Ìýplease join me on my public facebook .

If you are over the age of 18 and want to join me on my private page, .

Me, emerging from the water yesterday. . . So, um, I had this busyÌýthing,
and then this other paid-work thing, and also this other cool book thing, and then another cool book thing,

and then the weather was nice
and my friends lured me
out for a swim and,

well,

I totally forgot all about .

Yep. That's it.

Mea culpa. I forgot.

I've got nothing better to offer than that. *hangs head in shame.*

*Glances sideways to check swim weather for next Friday... ;)*

- gae

Las month, TPoG was in the fabulous in Indiana.

This month I feature another awesome group of 8th graders from Megann Tresemer's class fromÌýHolmes Middle School in Cedar Falls Iowa.

It's hard not to LOVE them when they found this perfect resting spot for TPoG:

Yoda never gets tired of this book. ;)



According to Ms. Tresemer,


"Yoda held the book in between classes. Students loved holding him while I read aloud. He had quite a calming effect!"
ÌýÌýAnd better than that, here's Yoda reading aloud to the kids:

Hah! Come on, I mean, how can I not give them brownie points?! :)

But enough about them, let's hear what they had to say about TPoG:
I asked, is TPoG a good read aloud? If so, why? If not, why not?
Anna:Ìý "What made the book a good read aloud was that it included a boy and a girl as the main characters." Morgan: "It made us want to keep reading.Ìý We didn't want our teacher to stop reading at the end of the chapters."
Meghan:Ìý "I think The Pull of Gravity was a good read aloud because the author made us care about Nick and Jaycee and made us want to find out more about how they were doing."
Mitch:Ìý "It was a good read aloud because there were good endings to chapters. The suspense made you want to keep reading." But, he added, "What didn't make it a good read aloud was the unanswered question at the end about ..." Sorry, I edited out what he said because it contained aÌýspoiler. But I hear you, Mitch. You're not the only person that storyline frustrated. You know where to find me. We can talk... ;) And, a super duper **BONUS ALERT**ÌýMs. Tresemer weighs in on what made it a good read aloud for her!Mrs. Tresemer: "What made The Pull of Gravity a good read aloud was that it had a male and female main character, their voices were real, and it had funny parts in amongst the serious. The Star Wars references were so fun for me to read aloud!Reading aloud, I did change some of the swear words, but the kids could always tell when I wasn't saying the word that was on the page. Also, I skipped over some of the making out on the bus. I just told them today that I didn't read all of that, so I'm sure many of them will be checking out the book to read what I skipped! J I think the girls enjoyed the romance between Jaycee and Nick, but because it came through Nick, it wasn't too flowery for the boys. I think they secretly enjoyed it, too. Also, many of my students had read or a teacher had read aloud to them Freak the Mighty by Rodman Philbrick last year, and we had many connections between the two books that we could talk about."Wow, thanks for that. I'm often curious what the teachers edit when they use it as a read aloud. :)
Okay, onward! IÌýasked who their favorite character was, and why: Mitch says, "My favorite character was Scooter. He was a realist who wasn't put down by the truth." I love that, Mitch! Yes, yes he was! Ilsa: "I really liked Nick's mom because she was mean at times but she was also comforting. That is something a lot of moms are like, I think." Nick: "Jaycee was my favorite character because she's weird but in a way that works."
And, Jordan agreed: "Jaycee was my favorite character because she said things straight up as they were. She had kind of a weird personality, but it fits her." And, he wasn't the only one: Michaela: "Jaycee was funny, and I liked how she could read Nick's mind. She's just kind of like different. That's cool." Morgan: "Jaycee is really up front about things. She doesn't really care about what people think about her. I don't like it when girls try too hard."
A brief break to see Ms. Tresemer's class being awesome.
So, did you have a favorite part? Kristin: "My favorite part was when they were kissing on the bus with the candy lips because it fit their personalities." *sigh* Me, too, Kristin. Me too. Michaela: "I liked the part when they woke up and they didn't know what happened to the bus. It was really intense."
Lupe: "I didn't like when it said Scooter died and then there was the flashback to the funeral because I was like, what?"
I hear you, Lupe. I get mixed reactions on how it was handled. Some people love it, and some people, not so much. Apologies. (I wanted you to experience how it can take you by surprise even if you are expecting it, you know?) Ilsa: "I loved the part about the water tower and when he's delirious."
Kayla: "I liked it when they see Nick's dad andÌý (womp, womp, womp, spoiler deletion ;)) Ìýat the restaurant because it was a nice twist. I didn't see that coming."
How about Of Mice and Men? Did it make you want to read it, or not so much? Madison: "The Pull of Gravity made me very much interested in reading Of Mice and Men."
Woohoo! *throws confetti!* Okay, guys, anything else you want to tell me about The Pull of Gravity? Jordan:Ìý"There should be a sequel. I want to find out more about Scooter's dad…how he (womp, womp, womp, spoiler deletion). I just feel like there's more you could dig with between Nick's dad andÌý (...) and then what happens between Nick and Jaycee and if his dad ever comes back."Well, Jordan, Mitch agrees: "You had better have a sequel coming to answer the unanswered question." Let's leave Mitch with the last word! :)


A HUGE thanks to Ms. Tresemer and her awesome 8th graders for welcoming The Pull of Gravity into their school year. -gae

The lovely C.E.D. in her writing shed! Look, it's
really a shed! :)I am so lucky to have the fabulous Carole Estby Dagg** today, author of the historical middle grade novel, .

tells theÌýtrue story of Clara Estby and her suffragist mother who, in 1896, left their home in Mica Creek, Washington to walk to New York City to win a bet of $10,000Ìýto save their family farm.

It has been included on the 2012 with significant feminist content!

Did you hear a similarity in the author's and character's names? That's because Clara was Carole's Great Aunt, and her mother, Helga, Carole's Great Grandmother.

The research Carole did for the book is astonishing, and you can read all about it .


I invited Carole (and all my -- peeps) to join me when they can for Friday Feedback, and Carole is kind enough to be popping in to talk about How to Begin.

So, here you go, in Carole's own words:


According to the king in Alice in Wonderland, telling a story is simple:

"Start at the beginning, go to the end, then stop."

Easy for the king to say.

I must have written at least twenty opening chapters for my first book, starting at different points in the narrative, narrating from different points of view and with different voices. Books for writers offered conflicting advice or advice which conflicted with my memory of how someÌýwell-known authors had opened their successful books:

Start at a high point of action and explain how your characters got there later.

Don't start with high action; let your readers get to know your character first.

Start with conversation.

Don't start with conversation.

Never start a book or a chapter with your main character waking up.

Never start with the weather.


I gave up on books about writing and instead pulled random books from my shelves in the study to see directly how successful writers had started their books; here's a sample:


"One hundred thirty-six days before.
The week before left my family and Florida and the rest of my minor life to go to boarding school in Alabama, my mother insisted on throwing me a going-away party."
- Looking for Alaska, by John Green


"It was a dark and stormy night.
In her attic bedroom Margaret Murry, wrapped in an old patchwork quilt, sat on the foot of her bed and watched the trees tossing in the frenzied lashing of the wind."
- A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeleine L'Engle


"It was almost December, and Jonas was beginning to be frightened. No. Wrong word, Jonas thought. Frightened meant that deep, sickening feeling of something terrible about to happen."
- The Giver, by Lois Lowry


There is no lake at Camp Green Lake. There once was a very large lake here, the largest lake in Texas. That was over a hundred years ago. Now it is just a dry, flat wasteland.There used to be a town of Green Lake as well. The town shriveled..."
-ÌýHoles, by Louis Sachar


"June 21, 1895
Bombay, India
'Please tell me that's not going to be part of my birthday dinner this evening.'
I am staring into the hissing face of a cobra. A surprisingly pink tongue slithers in and out of a cruel mouth while an Indian man whose eyes are the blue of blindness..."
- A Great and Terrible Beauty, by Libba Bray


Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.
-ÌýHarry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, by J. K. Rowling


One book starts with a weather cliche,Ìýanother with conversation. Most introduce the main character in the first three lines, butÌýnotable exceptions start with setting. So what are the rules?

Are there any rules? It's enough to make Schroeder bang his head on the piano.


It hurts to put a doodle draft out in the world for comment, but because Gae is a dear friend, I'll do it for her. Here's one take at an opening for my current work in progress, a middle grade historical novel tentatively titled Northward Ho!

*Warning alert: Carole's own questions for Friday Feedback (my usual one's being: does it hook you, why or why not? What works? What doesn't work? But, hey, go with hers ;)*

"What else I should have told you aboutÌý my main character? Which details were useful, which were not? Should I have had conversation or interaction with other characters sooner? Too much setting? Any other suggestions?

(You know the rest of the rules. If you want the same feedback, place a brief excerpt in the comments and Carole or I will chime in -- maybe both if you're (un) lucky! ;))

Enjoy Carole's excerpt!:


November, 1934 - Little Bear Lake, Wisconsin


ÌýÌýÌýÌý Trip Johnson dragged a hatchet across the yard toward a pumpkin as big as a pickle barrel. She stumbled over an icy hillock of mud where her mother's roses had been uprooted to make way for potatoes. She trudged past the skeletons of pole beans clinging to the trellis where sweet peas used to climb.

ÌýÌýÌýÌý Wind howled and tossed the tire swing, slapped the shutters, and whipped her skirt around her knees. It snatched phrases from her twin sisters's recital duet which escaped through the crack in the parlor window and swirled them into the eddies of wood smoke from a dozen near-by chimneys. If Trip had not been the only unmusical Johnson she could have been inside with her sisters, warm. She would not have to attack that gosh-awful pumpkin like a lumberjack.

ÌýÌýÌýÌý She raised the hatchet over her head and heaved it down with her full weight of seventy-three pounds behind it. The blow reverberated up her arms and clear through her shoulders to her jaws. After several more assaults she finally hacked off a piece light enough to wrestle into the kitchen.

***

Huge thanks to Carole Dagg for doing Friday Feedback with me today! If you guys need more rules, click on this linkÌý.

*Carole Estby Dagg is the author of The Year We Were Famous, an historical novel based on the true story of a teen and her mother who walked four thousand miles across Victorian America to save the farm and prove women could do it. Under the supervision of a bossy cat, Carole writes in Everett, Washington, and a converted woodshed on San Juan Island.

Who is (at) the (Local Author) Fair-est of them all?

Er. Okay, fine, never mind.

But I am. At the South Huntington Public LibraryÌý this Saturday, March 31, 2012, from 1 - 4 pm.

Come play with me there.

Bring a piece of writing or a query letter, and, if I'm not too busy fighting off fans (*coughs*), I'll help you edit or revise, or just sing your praises.

Or tell you a knock-knock joke.ÌýÌý

Do you know the one about the interrupting cow?




Plus, I have new swag. Who doesn't like swag?

Here's me in my swag crown:



Ìý(yes, I'm an idiot. It's okay. Really).

See you there. Deets are .ÌýClick the and come.

Saturday. 1 - 4. South Huntington Library.

Hope to see you there!

- gae

"How is it already Friday again?"Seriously.

I'm not ready for Friday Feedback again. But, alas, here I am!

You're welcome. Or something like that.

Yesterday, I was in a local school, Port Jefferson High SchoolÌý-- first with the 9th graders who had just finished their unit on Of Mice and Men, and then with the Literary Club, a small but awesome group of kids and their awesome teacher, Carla.

Among the things we talked about were some of the basic rules of writing. You know, show vs. tell, and how to use (or not use) dialogue tags.


To prove my point, I brought along one of my favorite tools, a snippet of Elmore Leonard's 10 Rules of Writing. See, there it is at #3.

You'd be surprised at how much time and energy new writers expend trying to figure out how to creatively say "said." You've seen it:

"I really love you," John whimpered. "I need you. You know that," he urged.
"I know, but I can never reciprocate," Myra choked out, through her tears.
John shook her. "You must! You must leave him and love me!" he barked, emphatically.

Yeah, I named her Myra, and overexaggerated things. What's your point? ;)

Anyway, what you quickly see is the endless effort in creative dialogue taggingÌýactually has the opposite effect as intended: it pops your mind out of the action (as you try to figure out how the heck the character sounded as they whimpered or choked or barked, emphatically, no less).

The truth is, except for VERY judicially, you are only ever supposed to use say or said as a tag. And, except when really (essentially) needed for clarity or emphasis, let your action show HOW the words are said.

So, bored with my own excerpts (come on, my writerly friends, come be a guest on Friday Feedback -- hey, I think I do have a guest author NEXT Friday!) I decided to see if I could find a particular excerpt from one of my WIP's (Works In Progress for those not in-the-know) to illustrate Elmore's 3rd rule.

For those brave enough to play along this week, feel free to post a dialogue excerpt -- and let us know if, based on today's post, you went back to edit! -- or whatever type of excerpt you want. In case you don't know them, once again, here are the rules:
If you do, you know the rules:

� Does the piece "hook" you enough to make you want to keep reading. If yes, why? If no, why not?

� What doesn't work for you (if something doesn't) and why?

� What does work for you, and why?

� If you want the same feedback, post 3 -5 paragraphs in the comments and I (and maybe some of my writer or reader friends) will chime in.

If you want more rules than that, read .

Happy Friday, all.



Excerpt from Frankie Sky:

Later that night in bed, I ask her, "So, why did you do it, Zette?"
"Do what?"
"Kill Roger."
She laughs. "I didn't kill him, Beans, he died. Didn't you see it? He keeled right on over and died. His heart gave out. All that crappy food. I can't help it if he died." I give her a look. "He should have eaten better." She cracks a smile again, even though she's trying to keep a straight face.
"Zette!"
ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý "What? It's been like seven years. I got bored of him. He was a very boring man."
"You did?" I know she's mostly joking, but the information worries me. I'd never thought of Lisette as the type to get bored of someone. "I mean, you made him. If he was boring you, couldn't you just have fixed him? Or divorced him. Couldn't you have gotten divorced instead?"
"Divorces aren't very Catholic, Beans."
"And killing him is?"
She bursts out laughing, and I'm feeling like I'm going to cry. But she sits up, reaches over and grabs a brush from her night table, and pulls me up and over, so that I'm sitting between her legs. She always does this when I get agitated, starts to brush my hair. Lisette says she loves to brush my hair because it's straight like silk, instead of wavy and crazy, like hers. But her hair is gorgeous, and mine is brown and boring; her hair is full of body, like the models' hair in fashion magazines.
The brush is precious to her because it's a part of an abalone shell set her grandmother gave her for her birthday. An antique, that comes with a mirror and comb. It's beautiful and special like Lisette. I always love when Lisette brushes my hair, because it makes me feel like she loves me without words. In the weeks after Simon died, she brushed it all the time. It was one of the things that saved me.
"I told you Beans," she says, as she strokes, "I didn't kill him, he died."
"Well, what if you get bored with me?" Tears well in corner of my eyes, making me glad my back is to her.
"Don't be silly. I never would."
"But what if you do? What if you have a real boyfriend, or a real husband, and they're more important to you? Or what if you find a new friend? A better friend. A friend who doesn't have so many problems, like I do?"
"You don't have problems, Beans." I twist and look at her and she rolls her eyes, and turns me back around. She starts brushing again. "You don't. I mean, your brother died, so of course that's hard for you. But you're fine. Besides, your hair is pretty and fun to comb, so how could I ever get bored with you?" She taps me on the shoulder with the brush, then hands it to me. "Here, now you do mine."
We switch positions. "Well, promise me you won't," I say.
"I won't. I promise. Plus, we have our hearts, remember?"
I grasp the half heart locket that rests beneath my nightgown. "Yes, I remember," I say.
- gae

Welcome to Friday Feedback. Come on! Be brave. You know you want to... :)

If you do, you knowÌýthe rules:

� Does the piece "hook" you enough to make you want to keep reading. If yes, why? If no, why not?

� What doesn't work for you (if something doesn't) and why?

â€� WhatÌýdoes work for you, and why?

â€� If you want the same feedback, post 3 -5 paragraphs in the comments and I (and maybe some of my writer or reader friends) will chime in.Ìý

If you want more rules than that, read .

Today, I'm tossing up a piece of a vomit draft.

Sorry about the gross-out term, I learned it from my classy writer-friend (he really is way, gold-toe-socks classy, which is why it's funny that I learned it from him).

Btw, this is Jim's book (see what I did there? I dropped his name from James to Jim thereby showing off that he's my goodÌýfriend):Ìý



It won the second Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. It's not YA, but you can read it. There's aÌýgrouchy old guy who kidnaps his 15-yr old granddaughter forÌýa road trip (read to see why),Ìýso you'll relate to it, even if you're still a YA. It's an excellent read. So, yeah, go buy that book, out in now.

Anyway, according to the ever-reliable and eloquent Urban Dictionary, Jim didn't make the term up. A vomit draft is, "A very rough draft; Not much thought given to the full essay/article/story, the purpose is just to finish it, not judging what is being put into it. Just do a vomit draft, just get it done."

Yep. That's about right. In fact, the piece I'm putting up today is something I began a few months ago on a whim (triggered byÌýcombining some coolÌýarticles I had read) and am only about 30 pages in. Since this is the current opening, and I never allow myself to revise those till the end (*coughs*), it really is unedited. Whether this stays at all, whether it changes, or whether I even ever finish this particular manuscript, totally remains to be seen.Ìý So far, it's narrated by a 16 year old kid named Kyle, who lives in Brooklyn, NY. The working title in my computer is Jumper, though I guarantee that will not stay the name.

So, give me some feedback, and then post yours.

Happy Friday, all.

1.ÌýÌýÌýÌý Jane Doe

The girl sits on my bed in my t-shirt and a pair of my plaid pajama pants â€� both way too big Ìýâ€� and stares at the floor. Her long brown hair, still damp, hangs over her vacant face. She's pretty much been doing that since she got here.I watch her from my bedroom door, unable to shake the way she looked when Dad first walked in with her, hair and clothes coated in aÌýlayer of grey-white dust as if she climbed in through a chimney."I'll be right back," I say, but she doesn't answer. She's showered now, her clothes in the wash, except for the wings that hang from the back of my desk chair. Yeah, you heard me. Wings. The white costume kind, like little kids pull from a dress-up box, or wear for a play at church.Ìý "Okay, then," I try again, but I seem to be talking to a ghost. I leave her there, wordless,Ìýhead back to the washerÌýtoÌýmove her stuff into the dryer. As I pass through the living room, I hear Dad, still on the phone in his office, talking in hushed voices.Dad's regular voice is anything but hushed. The whole world has been hushed for days now, the city blanketed in eerie quiet. Even, here, in the Heights, everything has changed. I stop and stare out a north-facing window. Nearly a week since the towers collapsed, and the burnt smell still clings to the wind, wafting across the East River, dragging its endless cloud of foggy ash.- gae

Me and my head, upside down like I like to be.So, a little twist on Friday Feedback this week.

Rather than posting an excerpt, I'm going to just roll aroundÌýin some gorgeous sentences here,Ìýand maybe toss up one or two nice ones (?) of my own. Because that's where my head is at this week.

You can put up a gorgeous sentence of your own, too, or put up a whole excerpt for feedback... your choice, and I'll give the usual feedback.

In case you don't know the rules, .ÌýRemember the limit is 3 -5 paragraphs.

Anyway, back to the rolling.

I am definitely a "writing over story" person. In the books I read, and the books I write.
I'm not sureÌýthis isÌýa good thing (it's certainly led to a million rejections that read: "The writing is beautiful, but..."), and, it's not to say I don't try my hardest to write an interesting story, or that I don't want the same as a reader, because I do!

It's just that, I cannot force myself to readÌýa crappily-writtenÌýstory, no matter howÌýbrilliant the plot twists may be.ÌýAnd, I don't care so much about a story'sÌýlack of high stakesÌýif the words are filling me, speaking to me where I live.


Certainly, judging from book sales at large, I am in the minority:ÌýMost people will opt for a big story any day over craft. I mean, I haven't read them myself, but I hear the Twilight books (or the Davinci Code) didn't sell on the strength of their gorgeous writing.


A good story is obviously not overrated.


And yet.

I long for them, the words that, strung together, amaze you.

The sentences that steal your breath away.

It happened to me again today. I am reading , which I've been trying to get to for two years. A few pages in,ÌýI stumble upon this:

"In truth, he could find no comfortable place to sit in the company of her illness. He would find guilt and shame no matter how he behaved. She was going to die and he was not; in the undeclared war of marriage, it was an appalling victory."Ìý

I suppose, if you are a young adult -- my main audience here -- and/or have not experienced the inherent love-hate vicissitudes of a long-term marriage, and the fear of losing a spouse -- those words might not accost you, eviscerate you, kick you in the gut, like they do me. I suppose they may not stay with you forever, as you wonder if you will ever write a sentence with such impact.

But, such gorgeous sentences pepper my favorite YA novels, as well. TakeÌý, by Francisco X. Stork;Ìý, by Mary E. Pearson; or, of course, , by Marcus Zusak.


Here's a little gem from the YA novel I'm reading now, , by A.S. King. It's just such a simple concept, a whole novel in a few brief sentences if you ask me:

"The thing you don't see while you're still here on Earth is how easy it is to change your mind. When you're in it, and you're mixed up with feelings, assumptions, influences, things seem completely impossible to change. From here, you see that change is as easy as flicking a light switch in your brain."

Or this little tidbit from one of my favorite YA's, , as the protagonist is talking to her father about identity and fitting in:

"I wish we were more like flowers." I traced a finger over an orange petal shot through with a curl of yellow. "Zinnias and marigolds are different but look how nice they are in the same pot."

He sighed.Ìý "Amen to that."

I mean, I read that book more than a year ago, but the moment created by those few sentences have stayed with me...

Here's a small section from my manuscript out on submission Frankie Sky that I like:


"I blink back tears that sting my eyes, and squint through them at Simon's stone frog. The flowers that encircle him melt into a rainbow blur. For now, they're fuchsia dianthus and periwinkle forget-me-nots, but when those die back, the bleeding hearts will open, grow tall and leggy, draping their pink and white teardrop buds. Those will last for the rest of the summer, and in fall, Mom will surround him in lavender asters, and bright orange potted mums. And, in winter when everything is dead, she'll arrange a bright array of mirrored gazing balls. Say what you want, my mother is good at her grief-appropriate gardening."Or here's an evocative passage from a rough manuscript I'm working on called In Sight of Stars (the protagonist Klee, and his girlfriend Sarah, are on the observation deck of the Empire State Building):"I move beside her, tilt my head back, and watch the illuminated mist swirl by. It's disconcerting,Ìýfeels as if the whole building sways along with it. IÌýclose my eyes against it, but then open themÌýagain, willing theÌýgratesÌýto give way andÌýrelease us,Ìýsending us spiralingÌýthrough the cloudy night sky, like Icarus falling from the sun."So, how about you? Got a line to share. A few choice sentences that stickÌýwith you, evoke emotion when you think of them? Make you wish you wroteÌýthem instead? Or better yet, one or twoÌýyou wrote, that you're willing to share with us here, now?- gae
*if you're looking for my women's blog, you can find it here: ** follow me on Twitter: �

That's me in the middle, with the kids from Jennings Middle School.
I love those guys.Ìý
Happy Monday!

Oh, yes, oh yes, it is!

Why? Because today is the first in a new First Monday of the MonthÌýseries on my blog called The Pull of Gravity Goes to School. Yeah, original title, what's your point? :)

Over the past six months, I've been luckier and luckier to have my book get picked up by schools in one capacity or another -- into the curriculum, as a choice book or summer read, or as a read aloud -- and, let me tell you, I am grateful!

I'm also unbeliveably fortunate to live in a time that allows me to pop into a classroom half way around the country. Through the magic of Skype, I've been to classrooms in Michigan andÌýIndiana, and am about to pop into one in Pennsylvania this week. Of course, it's my absolute favorite when I can be there in person, but, either way, being in a school or a classroom with my target readers is one of the most rewarding experiences I, as a YA author, get to have.

As such, on the first Monday of each month, I'm going toÌýhighlight some of these visits on my blog. I've asked the students some basic questions about the book and have gotten some amazing responses. In fact, I've gotten so many awesome responses, please know there's no way I can use them all. I will highlight them the best I am able, with the feature each week morphing, depending on the types of responses that roll in.

So, without further ado,Ìýthis week, goes to Jennings Middle School in Indiana, whereÌýawesome 8th grade teacher, ,Ìýread it aloud to her studentsÌýlast month.ÌýLet's hear whatÌýthey had to say!

Look how happy they are! Coincidence or TPoG? ;) Was TPoGÌýa good read aloud? Why?

David: Yes... the fact that Ms. McGriff is good at reading. I mean, the book is good either way.

Jason: No, because I had already read it myself and didn't wanna listen again.

Katelyn: Yes. BecauseÌý... we read it every day. If I was just reading by myself, I doubt I would have had enough time to read it in my own time. It was just a really good book!

Kristen: Yes... normally, when teachers readÌýa book out loud they are extremely boring and I don't enjoy them. But when I heard Pull of Gravity I could read it again and again...

Brianna: Yes...my teacher read with really great expression like she was the characters of the book. I felt like I was watching a movie.

Star: At first, I'll be honest... I didn't think I was really going to like it. At all. I really don't like it when books get read aloud in class. But as I listened to the book, I started to like it. I like it a lot, to be honest. I love the imaginative and colorful character Jaycee. Nick seemed kind of whiny at first, but in the end I liked him a lot and felt as if I understood him. The Scoot could probably be my favorite character...

and, last but not least, the classic, award-winning answer of the day:

Jacob: Yes, because it took up more time in class so we did not have to do work.







:)

Speaking of favorite characters, who was your favorite character, and why?

Heather: Jaycee because of her personality. She's so prepared and smart. She makes the middle and last part of the book come alive!

Skylar: Jeremy because he's so honest.

Star: My favorite character was the Scoot. Even though he knew he'd be facing death at any time, he still evaluated an excellent plan and saw to it that it was excuted. He seemed so funny with all those Star Wars references . . .

Shelbi: Jaycee... she didn't care what people thought of her. If they didn't like her, it was their problem.

Keragan: Nick, because he gets very nervous when he was around Jaycee and he also is embarrassed by his dad.

Notice the troll buttons... :)
AÌýlot of readers don't like the dad. Or, at least they get mad at him. Who wasÌýYOUR least favorite character, and why?

Heather: Nick's dad because how could someone leave their family just to lose weight? That was stupid. If I was Nick, I wouldn't read his emails either.

Jasmine: Jeremy, because he didn't care about anything or anyone, just himself.Ìý

Ham Stacks: Well . . .I reckon Nick's dad because he lied to Nick and was a veryÌýlowsy dad.

Jacob: Jeremy, cuzÌýhe seems kind of mean.

Ìý
Briana: ... I liked them all. Each character played their own part in their own way.

Michelle: The news reporter because he was annoying.

Kelsey: I liked all the characters.

Katelyn: Nick's mom because it seemed like she didn't really do much to help out with anything. Like she wasn't involved.

Did you have a most favorite or least favorite part?

Zachary: (most) -- when they were wrecked they were knocked out.

Kristen: (most) -- when they started the big trip. I think that was everyone's favorite part.

Jacob: (least) --when they kissed it was very disrespectful of their surroundings. They are too young to be doing that.

Nicholas: (least) -- the Scoot dying was the saddest so it was my least favorite.

Hannah: (most) -- When Jaycee got sick at the hotel and Nick was taking care of her until she felt better.

Ham Stacks: (least) -- when Jaycee and Nick kissed. It was completely shasta mcnasty. Ewwwww,Ìýgrowdy. (a direct quote ;));

Kameron: (least) -- when Scooter died;

Makayla: (most) --Ìýat the end on their way home, it was kind of a mystery where the bus driver went.

and, drumroll for the brownie points:


David: (least) -- when the book ended.

:)

Believe you, me, I loved them back. :)


So, maybe most important to me, did any part of the story make you laugh?

Catherine: Yes, when Jaycee had the wax lips!

Nicholas: Yes, the part about the thermometer.

Courtney: Yes, I laughed just about every time Jeremy spoke.

Cheyenne: Yes, I forgot though.

And, finally,Ìýthe most dreaded question of all... did you learn anything you didn't know from The Pull of Gravity?

Aaron: about the disease Scooter had.

Jacob: no!

Kelsey: It made me want to read Of Mice and Men. I think I will some time.

Star: I honestly couldn't tell ya.



Huge thanks to Ms. McGriff's class at Jennings Middle School for doing this with me!


- gae