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Touching His Robe: Reaching Past the Shame and Anger of Abuse
Survivors of sexual abuse and assault often find themselves feeling like the woman who touched the hem of the Lord’s robe to be healed: desperately needing the Savior’s help, but feeling too full of shame and pain to approach Him.
When seeking help, survivors are generally counseled to forgive, but instead of bringing relief, this message often increases their shame and pain. Forgiveness is not the only step towards healing, nor is it the first step.
Touching His Robe shares scripture anecdotes and metaphors that will help answer questions such as, “If God is real and He cares about me, why did He allow this to happen?� The author encourages readers to at first just touch His robe, and guides them on a journey to help them come closer to embracing Him.
Leslie G. Nelson enjoyed a close personal relationship with the Savior that helped her through many difficult personal trials, but when memories of childhood sexual abuse surfaced, she found herself ashamed to approach Him. In Touching His Robe, she shares the insights gained on her journey with the sensitivity and clear communication she acquired during years of teaching women and youth at church and while working in a halfway house, juvenile detention, and a group home for abused children and teens.
When seeking help, survivors are generally counseled to forgive, but instead of bringing relief, this message often increases their shame and pain. Forgiveness is not the only step towards healing, nor is it the first step.
Touching His Robe shares scripture anecdotes and metaphors that will help answer questions such as, “If God is real and He cares about me, why did He allow this to happen?� The author encourages readers to at first just touch His robe, and guides them on a journey to help them come closer to embracing Him.
Leslie G. Nelson enjoyed a close personal relationship with the Savior that helped her through many difficult personal trials, but when memories of childhood sexual abuse surfaced, she found herself ashamed to approach Him. In Touching His Robe, she shares the insights gained on her journey with the sensitivity and clear communication she acquired during years of teaching women and youth at church and while working in a halfway house, juvenile detention, and a group home for abused children and teens.
172 pages, Paperback
First published July 25, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
September 8, 2014
In Touching His Robe: Reaching Past the Shame and Anger or Abuse, Leslie Nelson, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, shares her struggles with anger, shame, denial, suicidal ideation as well as the nearly overwhelming drive to self-harm as she works to overcome the abuse she suffered as a child. In her empathic and compassionate way, she illustrates her own methods of coping as well as trying to reconcile some of the “Big Questions� a survivor might feel, especially those who find themselves at odds with God. Using scriptures as a tool to help provide answers, she gives insight into complex issues such as why God allows evil things to happen to good people, why God does not want us to suffer, and why the perpetrators of abuse will be dealt with and punished.
I found some of her points of view so interesting, I jotted notes as I went along. This quote from her therapist “Pain needs a witness,� was something I’d never heard and will stay with me. (There were many little gems in the book; this is just one that struck me as particularly profound.) There was also this quote from Richard Mollica, Ph.D. that I found particularly inspirational: “Every human being is born with the strength to heal. No amount of violence or torture can destroy that capacity. No barbarism or savagery can crush the ability to recover and rebuild.� (Mollica has worked with thousands of survivors of the most extreme torture and is the director and co-founder of the Harvard Program in Refugee Trauma.)
Nelson candidly shares her experiences with the therapeutic process, emphasizing and re-emphasizing to the survivors of sexual abuse: It is not your fault. Ever. It is okay to feel anger, and you do not have to forgive your abuser. (She does talk about forgiveness quite a bit, what it means to her, and why it is a continuing struggle.)
Although the subject is coping with sexual abuse, this book is more than that and may be helpful for those who wish to gain insight into what the survivor of abuse may be struggling with. Nelson gives advice on what not to say to survivors of abuse and other types of trauma, which is so important. People mean well, but saying the wrong thing can sometimes be worse than not saying anything at all to someone suffering. Leslie Nelson skillfully writes with extreme sensitivity about a very tough subject, and I applaud her for sharing her story to help others.
I found some of her points of view so interesting, I jotted notes as I went along. This quote from her therapist “Pain needs a witness,� was something I’d never heard and will stay with me. (There were many little gems in the book; this is just one that struck me as particularly profound.) There was also this quote from Richard Mollica, Ph.D. that I found particularly inspirational: “Every human being is born with the strength to heal. No amount of violence or torture can destroy that capacity. No barbarism or savagery can crush the ability to recover and rebuild.� (Mollica has worked with thousands of survivors of the most extreme torture and is the director and co-founder of the Harvard Program in Refugee Trauma.)
Nelson candidly shares her experiences with the therapeutic process, emphasizing and re-emphasizing to the survivors of sexual abuse: It is not your fault. Ever. It is okay to feel anger, and you do not have to forgive your abuser. (She does talk about forgiveness quite a bit, what it means to her, and why it is a continuing struggle.)
Although the subject is coping with sexual abuse, this book is more than that and may be helpful for those who wish to gain insight into what the survivor of abuse may be struggling with. Nelson gives advice on what not to say to survivors of abuse and other types of trauma, which is so important. People mean well, but saying the wrong thing can sometimes be worse than not saying anything at all to someone suffering. Leslie Nelson skillfully writes with extreme sensitivity about a very tough subject, and I applaud her for sharing her story to help others.
September 2, 2014
As someone who has had to counsel many people who are struggling with early childhood abuse, either sexual, verbal or physical, I found this book to be a refreshing short read that gave many good thoughts regarding healing. Leslie Nelson speaking from her own past has thought the topic through and sought out counseling, therapy, and religious answers to the hurt and pain that she has experienced.
One main point that she makes several times is that healing is a process and takes time. There is no a simple quick fix for your pain. Often times it can take years to come to a point where you feel total release of the past.
She offers many insights into the topic, but maybe the best insight ties right back to her title. If you are feeling pain, shame, distrust, guilt or whatever you may need to take the courageous step of walking after Christ and taking an opportunity to simply reach out and touch the hem of His garment with the desire to be healed.
As the woman in the Gospel of Luke who had the bleeding disorder for twelve years, she took a courageous step of making the Teacher unclean by touching his garment. Imagine her fear when Jesus stopped and asked, "Who touched me?" She was afraid that her boldness would come back to just bring her more ridicule as she had received for the last twelve years. But she took another bold step and came forward and said, "It was I." Jesus did not condemn her for her actions, but instead gave her a gracious loving response and told her that her faith had made her well. Jesus desires to bring healing to all of us no matter the horror or pain of our past. We need though to approach Him seeking forgiveness and healing.
There were a few things that Leslie mentioned about how to deal with Anger that I didn't quite agree, but you as a discerning reader will know what you are comfortable with or not.
I did appreciate her comments about forgiveness and her desire to remind us that forgiveness has a different definition for all of us. She was very assured in her thoughts though that forgiveness does not mean that the abuser is absolved of their actions. She rightfully reminds us that the abuser still has to face the consequences for their action. Her chapter on this subject is very well articulated.
As a lay person herself I think you will find that Leslie's thoughtful process and writing will bring a breath of healing to your soul as you deal with your past.
I know that I am going to recommend this book to many of those that I have counseled with.
I prayerfully consider you take and carefully read and ponder Leslie's words.
One main point that she makes several times is that healing is a process and takes time. There is no a simple quick fix for your pain. Often times it can take years to come to a point where you feel total release of the past.
She offers many insights into the topic, but maybe the best insight ties right back to her title. If you are feeling pain, shame, distrust, guilt or whatever you may need to take the courageous step of walking after Christ and taking an opportunity to simply reach out and touch the hem of His garment with the desire to be healed.
As the woman in the Gospel of Luke who had the bleeding disorder for twelve years, she took a courageous step of making the Teacher unclean by touching his garment. Imagine her fear when Jesus stopped and asked, "Who touched me?" She was afraid that her boldness would come back to just bring her more ridicule as she had received for the last twelve years. But she took another bold step and came forward and said, "It was I." Jesus did not condemn her for her actions, but instead gave her a gracious loving response and told her that her faith had made her well. Jesus desires to bring healing to all of us no matter the horror or pain of our past. We need though to approach Him seeking forgiveness and healing.
There were a few things that Leslie mentioned about how to deal with Anger that I didn't quite agree, but you as a discerning reader will know what you are comfortable with or not.
I did appreciate her comments about forgiveness and her desire to remind us that forgiveness has a different definition for all of us. She was very assured in her thoughts though that forgiveness does not mean that the abuser is absolved of their actions. She rightfully reminds us that the abuser still has to face the consequences for their action. Her chapter on this subject is very well articulated.
As a lay person herself I think you will find that Leslie's thoughtful process and writing will bring a breath of healing to your soul as you deal with your past.
I know that I am going to recommend this book to many of those that I have counseled with.
I prayerfully consider you take and carefully read and ponder Leslie's words.
November 3, 2019
This is such an important book and I thank the author for her empathy and authenticity in describing her journey of healing.
This is not a book of advice or counsel or one seeking to stand in for therapy. It's a woman sharing both her spiritual struggles and the spiritual insights she has gained, as she is trying to heal and be healed from wounds of sexual abuse.
She hasn't finished that journey yet, as she writes herself, and so whatever she has to say doesn't come from a place of authority. It never feels like she is talking down to her readers, pretending to have knowledge that she doesn't, etc. It's more like she is a friend, with a lot of compassion, who shares with you some of her tough questions as well as her beautiful insights into the scriptures.
Those insights are wise and profound, with the power to touch anyone struggling emotionally (or perhaps not struggling at all), not just victims of childhood abuse. Her insights really are applicable to the whole range of human brokenness, I think. Those struggling with depression or disorders or addictions, in short anybody desperate for the atonement / wholeness in Christ will get something out of this book.
Her main premise is that we don't have to feel or be perfect to approach the Savior, that he understands, even our anger, which may at times be directed at even himself or at God. That forgiveness and healing take time and that that's okay. In a strange way, her book also felt like it was listening... Not counselling, but listening. What a nice change!
I appreciate the balance she achieves in being both deeply personal and yet never going into too much detail.
I think the book could have benefited from a better editor. The e-version I read was full of spelling and grammar mistakes. There are some repetitions, etc; some things just feel "unfinished" somehow. And personally, I'm always hoping for more of a theological spin in any religious book, though I understand the need for experience-sharing here.
But I really loved her scriptural insights and fresh interpretations. Abigail being a type of the Savior being my favorite one!
This is not a book of advice or counsel or one seeking to stand in for therapy. It's a woman sharing both her spiritual struggles and the spiritual insights she has gained, as she is trying to heal and be healed from wounds of sexual abuse.
She hasn't finished that journey yet, as she writes herself, and so whatever she has to say doesn't come from a place of authority. It never feels like she is talking down to her readers, pretending to have knowledge that she doesn't, etc. It's more like she is a friend, with a lot of compassion, who shares with you some of her tough questions as well as her beautiful insights into the scriptures.
Those insights are wise and profound, with the power to touch anyone struggling emotionally (or perhaps not struggling at all), not just victims of childhood abuse. Her insights really are applicable to the whole range of human brokenness, I think. Those struggling with depression or disorders or addictions, in short anybody desperate for the atonement / wholeness in Christ will get something out of this book.
Her main premise is that we don't have to feel or be perfect to approach the Savior, that he understands, even our anger, which may at times be directed at even himself or at God. That forgiveness and healing take time and that that's okay. In a strange way, her book also felt like it was listening... Not counselling, but listening. What a nice change!
I appreciate the balance she achieves in being both deeply personal and yet never going into too much detail.
I think the book could have benefited from a better editor. The e-version I read was full of spelling and grammar mistakes. There are some repetitions, etc; some things just feel "unfinished" somehow. And personally, I'm always hoping for more of a theological spin in any religious book, though I understand the need for experience-sharing here.
But I really loved her scriptural insights and fresh interpretations. Abigail being a type of the Savior being my favorite one!
October 29, 2014
There is something in this book for EVERYONE. If you are hurting, angry, unforgiving, lonely, depressed, or need any form of healing in your life, READ THIS BOOK! The words on the pages are not magic but Leslie's insight into the scriptures and her wisdom gained from experience are well worth the time it takes to read. If you are like me, you will want to go back and re-read sections and reflect on God's word as you allow the Holy Spirit to work in your life. This is not the first book I've read by Leslie and hopefully it won't be my last. I can't write a review without making mention of her incredible writing ability. Leslie chooses her words carefully and articulates her ideas in a way that promotes understanding and clarity. This book in particular had such a profound affect on me--I just can't say enough good things about it.
August 3, 2014
Touching His Robe
Reaching Past The Pain And Anger Of Abuse
Leslie G Nelson
Copyright 2014
A lot of power is packed into this small book. It would be an invaluable tool for anyone who has suffered abuse. This book will help you to deal with the shame of abuse. We are remined that often times when people are saying that they forgot the whole horrible thing that happened to them that in fact they might be repressing the memories, and we are also reminded that being angry about what happened as long as we do not let that anger turn into sin.
This book reminds those that suffer from abuse they need to forgive and let go, but letting go of abuse is not something that often happens.
I would recommend this book to victims of abuse and to those who have/had loved ones who were abused. There is a lot of power pzcked inyo a relatively short number of pages.
I give five out of Stars...
Reaching Past The Pain And Anger Of Abuse
Leslie G Nelson
Copyright 2014
A lot of power is packed into this small book. It would be an invaluable tool for anyone who has suffered abuse. This book will help you to deal with the shame of abuse. We are remined that often times when people are saying that they forgot the whole horrible thing that happened to them that in fact they might be repressing the memories, and we are also reminded that being angry about what happened as long as we do not let that anger turn into sin.
This book reminds those that suffer from abuse they need to forgive and let go, but letting go of abuse is not something that often happens.
I would recommend this book to victims of abuse and to those who have/had loved ones who were abused. There is a lot of power pzcked inyo a relatively short number of pages.
I give five out of Stars...
July 20, 2015
Touching His Robe is a moving story about one survivor's journey of healing child sexual abuse. This account is deeply personal to me as I am a survivor as well. It's really made me question some of things I thought were true and belief that God wasn't there for me. Knowing something that is soul deep painful and acknowledging it as such is an entirely different matter all together. I applaud the author for her candor and insights to a very personal experience. I encourage other survivors and their partners to real this book.
September 10, 2014
I am not an deeply religious person but I am a survivor and I felt a very deep connection with a lot of what is being said in this book. After only just finishing it this morning I already want to go through it again and mark the passages that really spoke to me.
In more than one spot I had tears in my eyes because I know those feelings, I felt that way, I saw myself reflected in what I was reading. Thank you Leslie.
In more than one spot I had tears in my eyes because I know those feelings, I felt that way, I saw myself reflected in what I was reading. Thank you Leslie.
November 25, 2014
Touching His Robe is a must read for those who have experienced sexual abuse and for those who know someone who has experience sexual abuse. It helps that the author has been through the same and knee how to relate to the reader. I personally think the book to be quite useful. I felt the author knew me and knew exactly what feelings and thoughts I have had for many years. In a way to me, the book was therapeutic. I highly recommend it. Five stars
August 9, 2019
Wow, this book is amazing. I want to get more in-depth, but don't have the time, and honestly, it's really personal. I just want to say that I've been struggling spiritually for 5.5 years since experience a triggering trauma at church and this is one of the first things that has really helped me. It's helped me not feel alone in my struggles and journey, has given me resources I desperately needed but didn't have the ability or time to find myself, and has given me hope for the future. I'm not out of the woods yet, but since starting this book, I have felt my spirits lifting a bit higher for the first time in far too long. Thank you, Leslie, for being willing to be so honest.
If you or anyone you love are struggling with the after effects of abuse or assault (or even trauma, really) in any way, this book will help you!
If you or anyone you love are struggling with the after effects of abuse or assault (or even trauma, really) in any way, this book will help you!
June 14, 2021
I know Leslie and her family when she lived in Utah. I knew some of her past, but didn't know how bad it was. Definitely eye opening and inspiring! I am grateful for her insights and her healing. I have family who I want to share this book with, they, I hope can find peace in knowing that healing can be achieved and that God will never leave them. It is as much for me as it is intended for them, to help them through their dark times.
April 8, 2016
Good read!
This was a great book on understanding what someone that has been abused physically goes through and how to heal!
This was a great book on understanding what someone that has been abused physically goes through and how to heal!
November 26, 2016
It was well written, but a little pat for my taste.
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