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Some people have that, she ponders, a repeat motif, some defining aesthetic tic that somehow makes them feel protected.
That’s all it was. A distraction. I overrode all my instincts when I said yes. And I think I did that deliberately, because I’ve been following my instincts for so long and making good decisions for so long, and a bit of me just wanted to see what would happen if I ignored them. If I was a bit reckless. You know, like when you’re driving down windy roads and you deliberately close your eyes for a second, just to see what happens. So that’s what I did. And now, well, here we are.�
She looks at all the messages that she’s been sent over the past few days from people she hasn’t seen or thought about for years and years, but who all love her and care about her, and she wants to reply to them all, but she cannot, she doesn’t know what words there are or how to arrange them or what use it would be anyway, so she shuts down her messages and stares instead into the darkness of the night,
