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“Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.”
― Steven Wright

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”
― Steven Wright

“The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.”
― Steven Wright

“When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.”
― Steven Wright

“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”
― Steven Wright

“Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.”
― Steven Wright

“I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.”
― Steven Wright

“You can't have everything ... where would you put it?”
― Steven Wright

“If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?”
― Steven Wright

“The early bird may get the worm, but it's the second mouse who gets the cheese.”
― Steven Wright

“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.”
― Steven Wright