I made it to page 8, and by then I had probably written 16 pages of notes. It's probably better for all of us if leave off permanently.
As18 April 2025
I made it to page 8, and by then I had probably written 16 pages of notes. It's probably better for all of us if leave off permanently.
As with so much of modern life, there seems to be a strong tendency to speak of autism as if it were one thing. It's not. Not only is there a full spectrum of diagnoses, which may reflect different levels of support, but there is a full spectrum of if you will under the spectrum of presentations for each of the criteria. We use "autistic' the way we use "athletic:" we know there are innumerable activities, and a vast range of time commitments both during a given year and over a lifetime, and so on. We use "autistiv" or "athletic" to skip over the hours-long conversation we could have about what fits our definition and go straight to the point we want to make. You can legitimately argue for the inclusion of everything under "sensory issues" or "routine" but let's skip from diagnostic criteria to therapy kinds of supports. And then, 5 minutes into that topic we quit in disgust because you can't talk about support out of context, you have to talk about what works best for 5 year old kids with speech delays who don't want to share in kindergarten, seperately from how to help adults with full time jobs who have trouble making new friends.
What happens is, someone looks at their own life and assumes other lives are the same (doesn't everyone have visual snow? doesn't everyone imagine in photorealistic detail?) or a researcher looks at a small sample of people and sees in unusual interest in train schedules crops up and assumes (everyone who is autistic has a deep interest in trains, rather than, as often seems to be the case, a deep interest in everything.
There isn't one autistic gene, there isn't one autistic brain, there isn't one kind of autistic sensitivity (although tags in shirts seems quite common). A book like this is out of date before the first copies hit the shelves because 8 billion people have a lot of variation, and unless one is systematically documenting things in a very detailed sort of way, no one knows how much this trait on average differs from a neurotypical average, nor how much it differs on average between any other two groups, although it's a safe bet that the ingrown range is greater than the difference between two group averages.
There, see? This is why I couldn't get past page 8. Your mileage will almost certainly differ.
When she's talking about her research and giving her chick list of how female autism can look, she is compelling andThis is kind of hard to nail down.
When she's talking about her research and giving her chick list of how female autism can look, she is compelling and funny and you understand why she would be a great speaker and why her Asperkids books are so popular.
And then there are segments on bullying she endured in school and on intimate partner violence and that is just excruciating because it is so visceral.
But it is also hard to read in other ways that aren't important, but just a little grating. Bits that pulled me out of the narrative entirely. At least a couple of times she mentions her IQ, which is pertinent in that one reason females with autism are not evaluated and if evaluated, not diagnosed, that is, they ate overlooked in part because they're smart, often very verbal, and well behaved. So it makes sense to pull from her life to illustrate a concept. Yes. But she brings it up more than once and doesn't give the number. Maybe it seemed like it made more sense to avoid a specific number in favor of a range, which is fine, but she doesn't exactly do that either.
Likewise, in the school section, she talks about her mom being kind of flabbergasted at stuff the child doesn't know or doesn't understand, stuff which seems so obvious to the mother. So yeah, her mother found her odd and without a recognized female phenotype of autism, the mother has no context for why her only child is like this. Again, this is totally central to the point of the book: Cook is alone with her mom for years and she doesn't have friends and her mother doesn't get her, so she throws herself into academics and performing and such for validation. I get it. But more than once she mentions being this performer on command for adults, and how it pissed off other kids the way she was showing off. Every time this comes up she gives a "but it wasn't showing off" because of the adult validation imperative. Multiple times, which I did not count. Until I am just gobsmacked that she doesn't understand that it doesn't matter to the other kids what the motivation is or who asked her to do it: it is still, explicitly, well within the connotation and denotation of "showing off." To be fair, this is one of the traits of autism: not getting it, I mean.
Last one, several times she refers to the things that other people are astounded that people with autism don't just understand. Things which people can't even explain properly because they do just get it, and it's never been explicit anywhere. And autism spectrum or not, that's always a thing that fascinates people. But we all assume other people are like us, so you might not realize until your 50s, to take an example at random, that when people say "I could see it in my mind" they aren't being metaphorical. They literally mean that they have a clear, precise image in the head. If you're aphantasic and have no visual imagination, you might not have realized that other people could really do such a thing. Right with the concept, and she talks about this in different anecdotes. And then, when she's writing about something, she says in effect, people with autism can't do this kind of detailed strategizing and tactical planning. Whoops! I have no idea how common or rare this ability is, but there are definitely people with autism who can do that. I can't, but some people are really good at it, which comes up a lot in gaming.
Okay, I am done with that, it's just some things that vexed me.
More importantly, when differentiating between the boy and girl phenotypes, Cook describes looking at the criteria and working out what the trait in question is for and then looking at things girls do that serve the same purpose even if it isn't "lining up their cars" or "studying traintables" and it's really some brilliant thinking on her part, and it is described so clearly that you get it. Girls without brothers probably don't even have cars. It's elegant.
There's a lot of good stuff about things she did for her kids when they were diagnosed, and stuff she does for others. I think she probably is a fabulous mentor for people with autism, and an amazing example of people studying what they think is important, rather than what researchers think is important from the outside.
Whether it is down to the original text, the translation, the author's age, the interplay between these possibilities, or something else e23 July 2023
Whether it is down to the original text, the translation, the author's age, the interplay between these possibilities, or something else entirely the book was not my cuppa. And I kept bumping up against the author or others involved in the book speaking of people with autism. Actually, it might be down to when this came out, too, or the emphasis on people with high-support needs, too, but that was making me buggy. Sure, there are characteristics, but nothing condition shared by many millions of people is going to be monolithic.
So, not really my style, me not being the target audience, and my recent dive into books by adults who are much lower in support needs, etc. makes this just not the right book for me. For a parent of a child with high-support needs in a community with a dearth of services, providers, or resources I have no difficulty believing it is a godsend.
I love an irascible old person, although in this case just barely older. And I love stories about people who don't quite understand how social interacI love an irascible old person, although in this case just barely older. And I love stories about people who don't quite understand how social interaction works. Honestly picked this up for humor and so was unprepared for so much sadness.
Elseforum there was a question about whether Ove was on the autism spectrum. My answer was yes, but I don't think the author was trying to write a character on the spectrum. Sonja's father and Rune are presented with many of the same characteristics, as if this is how all men used to be. Whereas all women were just naturally good at making friends. There are other aspects of characterization and plot which are stereotyped and off-putting to me. And yet I enjoyed reading it. Go figure.
As I mentioned in a comment, Libby suggested with all the autism books. It isn't about autism, althougj executive function does get some attention. BuAs I mentioned in a comment, Libby suggested with all the autism books. It isn't about autism, althougj executive function does get some attention. But much of the 21st century world gets some attention. Price has brought together a lot of research, paid particular attention to those most at risk, united it with a simple (but not shallow) message. It's about how to navigate life through the urgent issues. How to cope with every damn thing in terminal stage capitalism while respecting our specific needs which may include physical and/or mental health issues, disabilities, or marginalization for appearance, presentation, race, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, etc.
Everyone is dealing with something. This book is an opportunity to check in with ourselves to see how well our lives are working for us. And if they aren't, some small, pragmatic steps to improve them. To be clear, there aren't any prescriptions and nothing is required. There are a few tips, some ways to evaluate different aspects of our lives, but mostly I feel like the book took a lot of things I kind of knew about and showed me how to put them together to think better. Price must be a brilliant professor, because I have been gently guided to having some particular insights into aspects of my life, which invariably were followed on the next page by that thought I just noted.
I have a lot to think about, and I'm looking forward to it. Sometimes it feels as though everything demands an opinion, preferably outrage, and then a contribution to the fight. Maybe that's just my inbox, though. I need something to think about that isn't the erectile in frustration that shopping for flossers has become.
Quality reporting shifting the conversation around people on the autism spectrum from disability to normal variation found in the popu03 June 2023
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Quality reporting shifting the conversation around people on the autism spectrum from disability to normal variation found in the population.
But it makes me incandescent with rage that all the attention has gone to pleasing rich white parents of young boys while the girls, transgendered, racial and ethnic minorities, poor, rural and adult populations are underdiagnosed and pushed to the side again. Why, yes, this is exactly the same pattern as in ADHD which, fun fact, has a very high level of comorbidity with autism.
And the rage tires me out and distracts me, and requires soothing cat time, or falling down a rabbit hole on the internet, or something. Which means I can only read a little and this is already the third or fourth time I have had to return it and check it out again.
***
Ultimately Garcia has done a great job of showing both the current situation and the activism, mutual support, and clever solutions that are shaping the future of autism in the US. There is much to be hopeful about. Many adults in groups disproportionately not diagnosed in childhood are now being identified or are identifying themselves. Apparently many people are diagnosed when their child is. These newly identified adults, and the swelling ranks of adults who were diagnosed as children, are finding the right questions to research, and demanding greater focus on accommodation and support. Almost nothing is known about aging with autism, for example. There is hope and bloody-minded persistence to back it up, which is all to the good.
Three geeky friends in their last year of high school have the chance to attend SupaCon together, because one of them is a vlogger who landed a film rThree geeky friends in their last year of high school have the chance to attend SupaCon together, because one of them is a vlogger who landed a film role that went big. There is so much fandom in the best possible way: new friendships, new experiences, new romance. There are struggles, laughter, tears, etc., and lots of bonding. Unusually for a contemporary romance, we don't get two POV characters alternating their two versions of the same romance, but instead we get two POV characters who are best friends, alternating their two separate romances. But really, this is much more a romance between two young women and fandom-at-large. There's cosplay, and games, art, and comics, vloggers and big studio film promotions, writers and the adoring readers who stand in line for hours to get a signature. It's also very much a story about young women and the culture they have created and enjoy. It doesn't pass a reverse-Bechdel I don't think, which is such a refreshing change. Seriously it's the most girl-powery thing since Spice World and the same heady mix of empowering and just plain fun.
Review of the book: perfect. Reverse Pretty Woman is fun, the characters are interesting and different, the personal struggles legit hurdles, hotness,Review of the book: perfect. Reverse Pretty Woman is fun, the characters are interesting and different, the personal struggles legit hurdles, hotness, etc. all good, rich, multifaceted, and I love that the heroine is on the spectrum and doesn't have any friends, because I was asking for it.
Hoang displays marvelous empathy with her characters: she wants them to be loved and she shows how they are loveable, despite social awkwardness, inapHoang displays marvelous empathy with her characters: she wants them to be loved and she shows how they are loveable, despite social awkwardness, inappropriate statements, etc. And Esmeralda is the most worthy Cinderella for a story.
And although arranged marriage is maybe not my favorite trope, the dignity Hoang permits her characters to have is just the best. And now I am sad that there are no more Hoang books for me to read yet.
Awww. I love that Hibbert writes about a diverse cast, including non-neurotypical people. It's wonderful to see characters with autism getting some loAwww. I love that Hibbert writes about a diverse cast, including non-neurotypical people. It's wonderful to see characters with autism getting some love.
Love the play list and the songs throughout. It would be fun to see other romance novels also namechecked in a book, when it is noted that a character reads. Such a light and fun read, all bright and sparkly and warm: very well-suited to Eve.
Big old snarl at GoodReads for failing to save my first review.
Chester and Gus - Cammie McGovern I am so emotional these days that just reading the blurb made me tear up. What a good dog! I liked that it was writChester and Gus - Cammie McGovern I am so emotional these days that just reading the blurb made me tear up. What a good dog! I liked that it was written from the dog's perspective, and that Gus was so uncommunicative. Library copy ...more
Highly recommended to anyone interested in autism. Mom NOS is also a fan.
Reading the memoirs of parents who's children have autism, one of the things Highly recommended to anyone interested in autism. Mom NOS is also a fan.
Reading the memoirs of parents who's children have autism, one of the things you notice is the broad spectrum of reactions. For a lot of parents, like Collins, there is an acceptance that "this" is how this child is. It may be very different from other children, or not. But for a given child, "this" is normal. Other parents seem to view their child's behavior as apart from the child himself, so that "this" isn't the child but a symptom of a disease the child has.
I think Paul Collins is probably a very good father, and I enjoyed his book....more
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