this is actually the greatest gift from the universe i'm not sad anymorethis is actually the greatest gift from the universe i'm not sad anymore...more
i've said this before and i'll say it again - FRIENDS TO LOVERS NEVER HAD A BAD TRACK!!i've said this before and i'll say it again - FRIENDS TO LOVERS NEVER HAD A BAD TRACK!!...more
(written for my top 10 books of 2021 countdown on where it's ranked at #4)
series closers always frighten me. thinking back to when the rav(written for my top 10 books of 2021 countdown on where it's ranked at #4)
series closers always frighten me. thinking back to when the raven cycle ended and i cried on and off for a week (still do now), and how i’m still actively procrastinating reading bronzed beasts and cry wolf. stepping into the unknown is scary. its tough to say goodbye to a place where you’ve built a home for your heart, isn’t it?
i expected the same from the closing of the simon snow series and of course it hurt. not to be Dramatic but snowbaz is my life source, the chicken soup for my soul. but beyond that, i was left with an overwhelming sense of love and warmth.
we started with an ending and now we end with a beginning. of new hopes and possibilities. more adventures, more tears, more banter, more communication (finally some good! fuckin! food!). we started with a book about magic and ended with a book about people. so to sum up awtwb with one word - perfect.
the series might be over, but we carry simon, baz, and the watford gang with us, in part because of how well so many of us /know/ them. we saw them through their journey, we know that they’ll be alright after waving goodbye. and so will we.
hey simon, hey baz, i had the time of my life falling in love with you.
also there's a line i removed from my original review because i exceeded the word limit by leaps and bounds, so i will say this now: awtwb is basically a book about kink negotiation in this essay i�
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dec 2021 reread: yes this is my third time rereading don't worry about it
“is this what people do? get as close as they can and then push closer? burn each other’s faces into their eyelids? let each other into every gap? and then what? then just tomorrow, and more?�
its been over a month since i read any way the wind blows and i still don’t quite know where to begin. but let’s try with 2015.
in 2015, i first read carry on and fell in love with simon and baz. young cel built a home in those pages. a constant reread with my comfort characters living within, i loved them so much i would have hung the moon and stars for them.
and then wayward son came along. a book that i didn’t expect would happen. didn’t quite dare to dream of. but it did and i ended up having a weird relationship with it. i loved it and its exploration of trauma, it made me feel seen and i cried reading parts of it. but god i have wayward son ptsd and never reread it since because of how much it felt like a knife to the heart. too beautiful, too real.
(mild awtwb spoilers from here on but mostly feelings!!)
any way the wind blows feels like an ending because technically, it is. i, like many of us, am usually weary of change, of what comes next, of leaving a place or a book that i’ve grown to be comfortable with and stepping into the unknown.
there were chapters that broke me, and then held me and put me back together. i cried very hard through most of it. its very character driven, so there was lots of talking about their feelings. like actual talking which is one of my favorite things. the love. the longing. the aching. how it starts at the ending but they’ve been there all along.
so many lines live rent free in my head now. *chefs kiss* delicious. so many lines that I just had to pause to process, to sit with my feelings for a while. how real they sounded, how tender it was.
all the little callbacks to the previous books, i think they hit the hardest for me. so did the revisiting of watford - a place that very much belongs to simon and baz, where their story first began. in some ways, awtwb felt like a love story to carry on.
circling back, i was scared to say goodbye to the watford gang. but what i now know is it it also feels like a beginning with new hopes and possibilities. more adventures, more tears, more joy, and i think we’re going to be alright.
6 years later, as any way the wind blows closes out the simon snow trilogy, i feel like simon and baz hung the moon and stars for me. and i thank them for it.
"this is what people do. they get close and try to stay there. they stay."
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rtc if i ever stop crying over this which is probably never
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*pre-read thoughts*
this book isn't even out yet and its already emotionally damaging me...more
dec 2021 reread: jane su if you read this im free on thursday night and would like to hang out. please respond to this and then hang out with me on thdec 2021 reread: jane su if you read this im free on thursday night and would like to hang out. please respond to this and then hang out with me on thursday night when i’m free.
rtc when I finally stop spontaneously bursting into tears...more
“why do you have to prove anything to anyone?� “it's just how it is, how it's always been. in order for them to let me be a brujo-� “you don't need a
“why do you have to prove anything to anyone?� “it's just how it is, how it's always been. in order for them to let me be a brujo-� “you don't need anyone's permission to be you, yads.�
what do you do when you try to summon the ghost of your cousin to prove that you are a real brujo, but accidentally summon the wrong ghost and perhaps maybe start to fall in love with said wrong ghost?
what a fucking delight!!! all of it! learning about the latinx culture, dia de los muertos, and its rich and vibrant history. i loved the characters so much and i will scream that with my whole chest. brave and earnest yadriel, with his heart of gold. fiery and badass maritza who chooses to forge her own path her way. and then you have our chaotic ghost julian, the literal embodiment of the sun. i fell in love with him alongside yadriel. he hasn’t been dealt with life’s best cards and yet he loves and protects his friends and family with all he’s got. he wears his heart on his sleeve and is so fiercely loyal and passionate and here he is, rocketing into my list of favourite characters.
i really enjoyed how this book ventured into the territory where it addressed yadriel’s navigation of his conflicting feelings towards his family. his family embraces him and claims to accept him but at the same time, throwaway comments feel like they are pushing his true self away. the constant push and pull mixed with warring feelings of love yet hurt despite wanting to belong to one’s family is very complex to navigate, but it’s something that u think many of us can relate to.
yadriel is also the first character i met who wears a binder and that was really important. it highlights how there is no fixed blueprint of what constitutes being trans. trans people are diverse and they are all equally beautiful and valid. trans voices are important.
my heart felt so warm and hopeful throughout this book. maybe its about ghosts but i have never felt more alive. i also cried a few times but no one is surprised.
“life, ari, can be an ugly thing. but life can be so incredibly beautiful. it’s both. and we have to learn to hold
what do i do with all these tears
“life, ari, can be an ugly thing. but life can be so incredibly beautiful. it’s both. and we have to learn to hold the contradictions inside us without despairing, without losing our hope.�
aristotle and dante dive into the waters of the world has been out in the universe for a while now. i cycle back and forth between whether i thought a sequel was necessary. sometimes i felt the ending of the first book was perfect, sometimes i wanted just one more chapter. either way, it became one of my most anticipated books of the year, but i was also afraid. come release day, i inhaled it all in one go.
technically, i only cried once. because i burst into tears at the first page and never quite stopped until the end. were they tears of joy? nostalgia? relief? sadness? honestly i don’t know so let’s say a mix of all. sometimes i wasn’t even sure why i was crying but oh boy they just kept coming. i felt so much of everything.
ari mendoza is one of my favorite characters and getting to live inside his head has been amazing. its as simple as that. its a scary yet comforting and beautiful mind to know.
book one, the line that many of us know all too well: words were different when they lived inside of you.
ari’s journey captures that thoughts that many of us had, at one point or another, tumbling around inside our heads. many of us queer teens can relate to him, we find pieces of ourselves in his narrative. witnessing those thoughts come to life is an indescribable experience - sometimes painful, but there’s relief too.
so, the sequel. i don’t know for sure, i’m processing. i finished it, sobbed my eyes out, hugged it, but there are also things that made my brain go �huh. hmm.� i also have like a thousand lines highlighted.
what i do know, is that my love for ari and dante, for book one, is so strong it’s practically indestructible. and that’s enough for me.
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*pre-book thoughts* randomly thought about how we're going to get this book in just a few more months and started tearing up because that's just the kind of human being i am i guess...more
i have reread this a perfectly reasonable number of times thank you very much
“love, henry has found, has a way of growing
"i miss you like a home."
i have reread this a perfectly reasonable number of times thank you very much
“love, henry has found, has a way of growing backwards. you fall in love with a person in the present, then every person you’ve ever been gets to fall in love with every past version of them.�
the world has spun a couple thousand times since rwrb came out, since the first time we met alex and henry. now, in the bonus chapter, we glimpse snapshots of their life since then, and moments that will happen as the world spins on.
it feels like both comfort and home.
june once told alex “maybe there’s more than one dream for you, or more than one way to get there�. we watch how that holds true time and time again. as the world spins, dreams pan out, change, and we see how that’s okay. alex is reminded he doesn’t have to do it—something i needed to hear again.
alex once wrote to henry “give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart�. we watch as they do give themselves to the world, watch as they make history, a legacy taking shape beneath them. and then, getting to rest. choosing to step back and live quietly. to savour second and minutes and first and nights, all rolled into a lifetime just for them.
alex and henry make their own history for just the two of them. no more waiting by the door. originating with two boys curled up side by side, alex against henry’s soft spine. a legacy of living for love.
even in the bonus chapter, history is pivotal—the process of being uncovered. we uncover emails and proof we’ve always existed. and now, a chance for a new kind of history to be discovered one day: two boys in texas who loved each other. going down in history, loudly at first, then quietly. with all the time in the world.
a legacy, simply, that there was a boy. and there was a prince. and they were in love. the boy in his bed, the boy in his childhood home, the boy in texas. because love does grow backwards.
because history, no matter how loud or quiet, is in itself revolutionary.
two homes side by side, now one.
“you and me and history�, now “you and me�.
and the world will keep turning, henry will go on with alex forever, and us? we’re going to be okay....more
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