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To tell this event correctly, I need to tell you about my friend, who we will call ‘John.�� John and I were big into roleplaying games back in the day, playing tabletop games such as Star Wars, Shadowrun, AD&D, etc. Even though the characters I invented came a dime a dozen, John insisted on sticking with a small hand full. One particular character he repeatedly used we will call ‘Hero.�� Everyone else we played with on the weekends would change characters just as often as I would, but not John; he was Hero almost every time.

Let’s skip to adulthood, where we both moved away but kept in contact. We would still play video games together, mostly space games, and one day I pitched the idea to John that we should collaborate on a book together, a chance to relive our glory days of storytelling. He agreed, so I got to work drafting up a plot line. Shortly after, we decided to write the same scene from the plot and compare notes to figure out how our different writing styles would mesh. This worked out well because I learned a few writing tricks from him, and he critiqued the plot. During this time, it was also agreed we would use ‘Hero�� as the main character because we both had a pretty good idea of what the character was like. The agreement was we would bounce chapters back and forth, I would write one, and he would write the next.

Over the next few months, I continued pushing out more chapters, but John never put forth anything new. He had access to everything I wrote but rarely commented on it. We continued communicating, playing games, and talking, but his interest in contributing dwindled. Life got in the way, is what I assumed.

Three years later, and many edits later, I have two novels; yes, the book was so long that I had to break it into two parts. I send him a copy and a few others of the first draft of the book, explaining that this is what I plan on publishing. Oddly I never heard anything from him, so eventually, all the kinks get ironed out, and the first novel went live.

A month after publishing, John asked if I could change the main character’s name. He has been trying to read the book but is struggling to separate himself from the character in the story. He explains ‘Hero�� is essentially his alter-ego, and he can not see the character doing some of the things he does in the story, making it impossible for him to read the book. His biggest problem is the age gap romance in which the main character finds himself. He does not want anyone who reads the novel to associate the character with him.

At this point, the first novel is basically unknown; only about 50-ish digital copies are floating around on the internet and a handful of hard copies; to family and friends. My friendship with John is more important than any book, so I changed the main character’s name and republished it.

Even though I completely understand the reason, why is this still bothering me?

He stopped giving you feedback, and after you publish it suddenly he wants you to change a main component? I can see why it's bothering you. It's your work, too, not his.

Michelle wrote: "He stopped giving you feedback, and after you publish it suddenly he wants you to change a main component? I can see why it's bothering you. It's your work, too, not his."

True, but John uses the character's name/alter-ego for email aliases and video games all the time; clearly, he has a deep connection with it. He did mention after the fact that he did not expect me to publish and wished I had asked him more directly if it was okay first.

After three years, I was excited to be finished finely and eager to publish. When I stopped getting feedback about the book, the character 'Hero' took on a life of their own and, in my opinion, became a different character entirely. I never got attached to any character I created, but I have seen authors do that. I once saw Annette Curtis Klause wear a black leather jacket and claim it was 'Simon's' from her book 'The Silver Kiss.' I thought that was the oddest thing when I was younger.

Was I being short-sighted in this? Should I have contacted him to double-check that it was okay to use the character name before publishing?

It's just my opinion, and I am certainly no authority, but absolutely not. It's not your fault he took your character's mantle upon himself. That seems a little bizarre. The bottom line is that it was your work, not his.

I’m sorry you had to deal with this. I’m not sure you did anything wrong. After all, it was John who ghosted the project and discontinued giving feedback. I suppose you could’ve made a more pointed effort to make sure he was ok with how it turned out before pressing the publish button, and I’m not sure how much effort you put into getting his feedback once it was clear you were on your own. But what’s done is done. I do think it’s slightly unreasonable for him to continue to associate the character with his own character, but you are a good friend for changing the name. I doubt that’s actually going to make a difference in the long run, he will probably still associate with and disconnect from the character regardless of what they are called. Just my 2 cents.

As an rpg player myself I understand why it is still bothering you. If your friend is very connected to his character, it is an important part of him as a person. He should have talk with you about his concerns at the beginning.

If he is using the name as his alias or username in games, it became like a nickname. Some people call me by my character’s name, years after we stopped playing regularly. So in some way it is him you are writing about. I know it’s a work of fiction but it is based on someone’s psyche. It’s like basing a character on someone you know and using their nickname. Even if they say it’s ok at first, it will backfire later.

My high school friend is a fantasy writer. She writes Polish urban fantasy and is quite well known in my country. In her first novel the main character is based on one guy from our class. At first she used his name, but she decided to change it before publication, because she couldn’t contact him (pre fb times). I’m there too, but you have to know what you’re looking for to recognize me.

I understand both sides of the story. I think communication is the key. Your friend failed to communicate his feelings about all of this. It’s possible that he was embarrassed or simply didn’t sort his mind until it was too late. But it doesn’t mean that you can’t talk it out now and try to find a compromise if it’s possible.

I have two further questions:
Would you be able to change the character’s name now?
Is it possible that your friend is on autism spectrum? ( I ask because some patterns in his behavior seems very familiar and I’m a highly functioning aspergirl myself).

he did not expect me to publish and wished I had asked him more directly if it was okay first

First off, that's out of line. BUT... Assuming the character's name is very identifiable, you chose to use a name that you knew was very much that of a character your friend identified with. In a universe of near infinite choices, you chose that. So yeah, I can see his point though he could have said something sooner.

I do have a question - did you never ask "hey John, what's up? You ok? Thought you'd be into this?" I mean, people get depressed, they get anxious, they go through rough times - it's odd to me that you didn't indicate any communication aside from about the book.

Also, is the character's name highly identifiable? Here, you just call it Hero which is utterly generic and it's hard to see John's case. But if the name was actually unique or close to it, I can see where he feels you're writing something that's very like him.

Aga wrote: “I have two further questions:
Would you be able to change the character’s name now?��

The main character’s name has already been changed, and the book was republished at the beginning of this month. Given the book had only been available for one month, combined with my obscurity as an indie author, I highly doubt the change will have any impact.

Aga wrote: “Is it possible that your friend is on autism spectrum? ( I ask because some patterns in his behavior seems very familiar and I’m a highly functioning supergirl myself).��

My friend has no ailments or at least any I’m aware of. Although, I think you’re right about the psyche aspect. The character and himself are two sides of the same coin. Because I never grew attached to one character, and constantly invented new personalities is why I didn’t foresee the potential problem.

I think some of the issues was how unfaithful my version was. I pulled aspects from the original I liked and extrapolated those features so many times that the novel version was unrecognizable. When ‘John�� saw my version, he was probably offended because it was nothing like how he would have written the character. Hand sight is always 20/20; ultimately, this was perhaps the best route. I just wish he had said something sooner.

The funny part about this dilemma is all the feedback about the novel I have received so far is not about the main character. The readers I have engaged with will tell me how much they love the supporting female character and how they despise the villain. When I ask about the main character they only reply, “That poor guy can’t catch a break.��

Rick wrote: "I do have a question - did you never has "hey John, what's up? You ok? Thought you'd be into this?" I mean, people get depressed, they get anxious, they go through rough times - it's odd to me that you didn't indicate any communication aside from about the book."

John and I talked quite a bit during this time, online mostly, but anytime I brought up the book, he was busy, had not gotten around to it, or seemed disinterested. In his defense, he was busy because his job had him in other countries a lot. After a while, I talked about what I had been working on less and less, so I could see how it surprised him when he received a complete novel.

Rick wrote: "Also, is the character's name highly identifiable?"

Yes, the character name is unique and clever, so I was happy he suggested using it when we started. It fits the genre of the novel quite well. In addition, I assumed we would be working on it together, so we needed a main character that we both understood.
Maybe when I saw him slipping away from the project, I should have changed the character's name, but that felt dishonest. I wanted to honor his contributions, little as they are, by keeping the main character's name the same. I saw it as a homage to my friend, but that's not what happened because I changed the character too much by that point.

I think that the name change will help. Now "the Hero" can develop freely the way you decide. Creative collaborations are tricky and you handled it well in the end.

It’s possible your friend will be glad someday that he had helped you creating the character in a way. Just be sure that he understood it is a totally new hero now. Talk, talk and talk even more, it’s usually a good idea.

Michael wrote: "...I was happy he suggested using it when we started..."

Ah, I missed this. I think this undercuts the basis for his concerns a lot and while you were nice to accommodate him (friend > book) it feels like he was at least a bit unreasonable - suggest using the name, duck out on working on the book, object to how the book turns out.... Meh.

You've done absolutely nothing wrong and have tried to accommodate your friend, although people can always find something to be offended by these days...

The take-aways are that you've learned how to write and can apply those skills to a new project. Collaborations can start out as fun but they never work for novels (in my experience). Screenplays can work - especially comedies - but there's too much inner voice to a novel and that is deeply personal to every writer.

In fact, maybe that's why he lost interest? He felt your voice taking over through your greater commitment to the project so saw less of himself in it... perhaps?