Lancelot Schaubert's Blog
April 26, 2025
Cold Brewed 001 � Hard Water
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As Mark 9 and I thought through the best way to share the tenth(+) anniversary release of Cold Brewed into print, we realized the tiniest fraction of this audience saw it live online when we released it in our early twenties. We decided to re-release it serially online, since it doesn’t format well for e-readers outside of […]
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April 24, 2025
Daddy Issues are Overrated
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When my dad hooked back up with the babysitter he���d originally cheated on mom with, my siblings and I didn���t hear from him for a month. I was eating at a Texas barbecue joint a block from Times Square when that carpenter and millwright finally returned all of my ignored calls. I paced in the […]
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April 16, 2025
Why They Rejected You
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Three case studies on pieces of mine that were rejected often prior to publication as well as a list of typical reasons for rejection, intended as a metaphor for life. They answer to “Why they rejected you� is simpler than it seems: I find it a shock at this stage in life that I have […]
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April 7, 2025
Open Letter to JB Pritzker for My Brother’s and Southern Illinois’s Tragic Flood
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Dear JB Pritzker —� Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this (and for all of you who shared it widely enough to reach his desk). I write to you today on behalf of a subject nearest and dearest to my heart: Little Egypt, Southern Illinois during historic floods. If you’re reading this and not JB, […]
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March 29, 2025
The Secret Joplin Tunnels
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A decade ago, Mark Neuenschwander (photographer of these photos) and I delved the secret tunnels beneath Joplin, Missouri���s downtown district. We delved the Joplin tunnels with the knowledge of a couple members of City Hall. We had prior experience:��do not delve these tunnels. Do not risk your life. They are��extremely��dangerous when there is any hint […]
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March 22, 2025
There’s pride. And then there’s pride.
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My colleague and friend Dr. Shane J. Wood wrote a piece recently on Pride that reflects the state of my mind the last few years. I started this piece as a comment on his work and once it eclipsed 1,000 words, well� here we are. It seems to me part of the problem in our attempt to distinguish […]
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March 16, 2025
What is an antagonist? Or “How to Outline via Villains�
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“What is an antagonist� originally sold to Writer’s Digest as “An Outline for Pantsers.� Teasing out the logic of an antagonist helps me understand how to outline both works I’m writing and works I’m trying to research or remember. We’re focusing on narrative works today, to be clear. Fiction, narrative poetry, memoir, film, etc. Though […]
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March 9, 2025
What is a poem? Or “How to Think about Writing and Reading Poetry�
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“What is a Poem� was Originally published in the Poet’s Market by Writer’s Digest Books under the title “Schematic for Sculpting Language.� As a young man, I complained I didn’t get poetry. The poetry world seemed broken in two: those who rhymed and those who didn’t. Rhymers chose their path either out of too much ignorance (“all I […]
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February 22, 2025
Does George R. R. Martin write grimdark?
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I have often said though I cannot directly recommend George R.R. Martin���s��Song of Ice and Fire, if I discover you���ve read it, I���m happy to talk about it at length. Similarly, I personally will never watch the TV show��Game of Thrones because I���m painfully aware, after how I spent my late teens, there are simply […]
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February 8, 2025
Schaubert’s Laws of Fantasy Religions
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