Jillian Boehme's Blog, page 5
August 26, 2020
Secret Agent #26
Title: BLACKBEARD’S ACADEMY OF PIRACY AND CULINARY ARTS
Genre: MG Fantasy
Monsters under the bed never scared Jake, but the ones doctors claimed lurked inside his head did. He scratched a phantom itch on his artificial foot, waiting for Miss Hardgrade’s verdict.
“Jake,� Hardgrade said, “you’ve been excused from the ‘How I spent my summer vacation� assignment.�
need to tell what happened.�
She twirled a pencil between her fingers. “All you have is a title page.�
t’s an oral presentation.�
“But this never really—�
know . . . doctors think my brain created an imaginary world to deal with the trauma of almost drowning. But I know I spent my summer with pirates.�
She glanced at his paper again. “Blackbeard’s Academy of Piracy and Culinary Arts.�
“What do they teach—food fighting?� Tommy Fathead shouted.
The class laughed. Fathead usually sucked at quick one-liners. His talent since grade school had been scraping the feet of chairs to mimic the toot of a butt tuba.
Hardgrade’s pencil snapped. “That’s enough.� The class transformed into statues minus the pigeon icing. “Jake, maybe you should wait until you can present something real?�
He stood and lifted his shirt. “Like this giant tattoo of Blackbeard’s flag on my chest?�
Everyone gasped at the white horned skeleton on a black background covering Jake's entire upper body. The dead devil held an hourglass in one hand while pointing a spear at a red heart dripping blood with the other.
“Doctors know I hate needles,� Jake said, “but they can’t explain how I have a tattoo, which required a million needles, when tourists found me washed up on a north end beach.�
Genre: MG Fantasy
Monsters under the bed never scared Jake, but the ones doctors claimed lurked inside his head did. He scratched a phantom itch on his artificial foot, waiting for Miss Hardgrade’s verdict.
“Jake,� Hardgrade said, “you’ve been excused from the ‘How I spent my summer vacation� assignment.�
need to tell what happened.�
She twirled a pencil between her fingers. “All you have is a title page.�
t’s an oral presentation.�
“But this never really—�
know . . . doctors think my brain created an imaginary world to deal with the trauma of almost drowning. But I know I spent my summer with pirates.�
She glanced at his paper again. “Blackbeard’s Academy of Piracy and Culinary Arts.�
“What do they teach—food fighting?� Tommy Fathead shouted.
The class laughed. Fathead usually sucked at quick one-liners. His talent since grade school had been scraping the feet of chairs to mimic the toot of a butt tuba.
Hardgrade’s pencil snapped. “That’s enough.� The class transformed into statues minus the pigeon icing. “Jake, maybe you should wait until you can present something real?�
He stood and lifted his shirt. “Like this giant tattoo of Blackbeard’s flag on my chest?�
Everyone gasped at the white horned skeleton on a black background covering Jake's entire upper body. The dead devil held an hourglass in one hand while pointing a spear at a red heart dripping blood with the other.
“Doctors know I hate needles,� Jake said, “but they can’t explain how I have a tattoo, which required a million needles, when tourists found me washed up on a north end beach.�
Secret Agent #25
Title: The Good Fight
Genre: YA Historical Fiction
Not a soul surrounding the pallet-made fighter’s ring would ever believe Ofelia was starving. There was enough meat on her to make her dangerously ‘thick�, and strong enough to inflict damage with weary fists. Spectators leaning over the crude ring splashed the concrete floor with the contents of their brown-bagged bottles. They cheered and taunted. Her feet were bare, and she felt every puddle of spilled beer. Everything felt wet. Her skin was drenched in sweat and crimson tendrils streamed down one side of her face. It all added to the seeping damp.
She looked more boy than girl before entering the ring. Short black hair, T-shirt nearly down to her knees and large enough to fit two of her in it. Her baggy, black jeans hung from her waist, and she had cuffed them around her ankles. Ofelia pulled her shirt over her head and flung it into a corner of the ring. The air thundered with a commentary of lewd suggestions and propositions. They called for Eights. She was Eights. They loved and hated her all at once.
“Damn, Eights. Why you hidin� all that?!�
“You want a banging, nena?! I got one for you.�
“Break my heart, Eights. Dykes can look like that?�
“Kill ‘em, Eights. I got my rent money on you.�
The jeers continued, two fights in. Eights was sure of it. But their words were no longer decipherable, stretching and blending into one pounding mass of sound.
Genre: YA Historical Fiction
Not a soul surrounding the pallet-made fighter’s ring would ever believe Ofelia was starving. There was enough meat on her to make her dangerously ‘thick�, and strong enough to inflict damage with weary fists. Spectators leaning over the crude ring splashed the concrete floor with the contents of their brown-bagged bottles. They cheered and taunted. Her feet were bare, and she felt every puddle of spilled beer. Everything felt wet. Her skin was drenched in sweat and crimson tendrils streamed down one side of her face. It all added to the seeping damp.
She looked more boy than girl before entering the ring. Short black hair, T-shirt nearly down to her knees and large enough to fit two of her in it. Her baggy, black jeans hung from her waist, and she had cuffed them around her ankles. Ofelia pulled her shirt over her head and flung it into a corner of the ring. The air thundered with a commentary of lewd suggestions and propositions. They called for Eights. She was Eights. They loved and hated her all at once.
“Damn, Eights. Why you hidin� all that?!�
“You want a banging, nena?! I got one for you.�
“Break my heart, Eights. Dykes can look like that?�
“Kill ‘em, Eights. I got my rent money on you.�
The jeers continued, two fights in. Eights was sure of it. But their words were no longer decipherable, stretching and blending into one pounding mass of sound.
Secret Agent #24
Title: Big Bright Thing
Genre: Women's Fiction
The children were crying again. I shoved the pizza bagels in the toaster and rushed to the living room, afraid of what I’d find-a limb tangled in a chair leg, a head bleeding from an impact with the corner of a table.
But Judith and Pomona were just tugging on either side of a tablet, crying over who got to choose which app to play.
I took the tablet away. The crying intensified.
“When we fight, we lose screen privileges,� I said.
“That’s not fair!� said Pomona. was playing with it, and she took it from me!�
As wrong as it was to punish Pomona for something her sister allegedly did, I couldn’t reward her for having a tug-of-war with a two-year-old. “She’s only two,� I said. “She doesn’t know better.�
“She knows better! She’s smiling!�
I turned around to see Judith’s face switch from an amused smile to raging tears. “Judith, I see you’re upset, but you can’t take things from your sister.� Her crying increased in volume, drowned out only by the fire alarm that started blaring in the kitchen.
I pushed past the girls and ran to the kitchen expecting to find a wall combusting from some sort of internal electrical fire, but it was only the toaster oven, emitting black smoke from where the cheese had melted off the bagels and hit the heating coils.
I pulled out the bagels. They had a grey tinge on top.
Genre: Women's Fiction
The children were crying again. I shoved the pizza bagels in the toaster and rushed to the living room, afraid of what I’d find-a limb tangled in a chair leg, a head bleeding from an impact with the corner of a table.
But Judith and Pomona were just tugging on either side of a tablet, crying over who got to choose which app to play.
I took the tablet away. The crying intensified.
“When we fight, we lose screen privileges,� I said.
“That’s not fair!� said Pomona. was playing with it, and she took it from me!�
As wrong as it was to punish Pomona for something her sister allegedly did, I couldn’t reward her for having a tug-of-war with a two-year-old. “She’s only two,� I said. “She doesn’t know better.�
“She knows better! She’s smiling!�
I turned around to see Judith’s face switch from an amused smile to raging tears. “Judith, I see you’re upset, but you can’t take things from your sister.� Her crying increased in volume, drowned out only by the fire alarm that started blaring in the kitchen.
I pushed past the girls and ran to the kitchen expecting to find a wall combusting from some sort of internal electrical fire, but it was only the toaster oven, emitting black smoke from where the cheese had melted off the bagels and hit the heating coils.
I pulled out the bagels. They had a grey tinge on top.
Secret Agent #23
Title: Shadow of the Stars
Genre: YA Fantasy
Levi exited the wooded path leading toward Oliver’s home and a ribbon of golden light drew a band across his eyes. As he breached the final fallen tree, the carcass of which succumbed to the curse of time, he was forced to cover his face with his sleeve. He paid the price of doing so by stepping through a rotted piece of the trunk. Levi staggered, quickly recovered, and shook free the nasty critters that lived inside the decrepit tree husk whose only crime was growing in a climate that received little to no rainfall.
As he spun around to face the Williams’s house again, the sky blossomed in a vibrant swatch of pinks and oranges as the clouds spread here and there. The last of the dying rays tried to blind Levi a second time, but he found his friend. Just like the sky, Levi’s face went pink. Not so pink where it was noticeable at his distance from Oliver, but pink enough that he could feel the very tingle in his toes that forced him to wiggle the sensation out. But it was so common a feeling, the nerves and aches of being close to Oliver grew wise to Levi’s efforts, and instead they worked up and around his legs, to the small of his back, and ended right at his heart which always began to beat faster.
Levi tugged his ball cap lower to shield his eyes. Oliver came back into view.
Genre: YA Fantasy
Levi exited the wooded path leading toward Oliver’s home and a ribbon of golden light drew a band across his eyes. As he breached the final fallen tree, the carcass of which succumbed to the curse of time, he was forced to cover his face with his sleeve. He paid the price of doing so by stepping through a rotted piece of the trunk. Levi staggered, quickly recovered, and shook free the nasty critters that lived inside the decrepit tree husk whose only crime was growing in a climate that received little to no rainfall.
As he spun around to face the Williams’s house again, the sky blossomed in a vibrant swatch of pinks and oranges as the clouds spread here and there. The last of the dying rays tried to blind Levi a second time, but he found his friend. Just like the sky, Levi’s face went pink. Not so pink where it was noticeable at his distance from Oliver, but pink enough that he could feel the very tingle in his toes that forced him to wiggle the sensation out. But it was so common a feeling, the nerves and aches of being close to Oliver grew wise to Levi’s efforts, and instead they worked up and around his legs, to the small of his back, and ended right at his heart which always began to beat faster.
Levi tugged his ball cap lower to shield his eyes. Oliver came back into view.
Secret Agent #22
Title: Halo and the Boomerang Effect
Genre: MG Fantasy
A small starburst appeared near the top of a decorated Christmas tree and began to spin, picking up speed on each rotation. Then it fizzled, like someone had opened a soda can. The starburst brightened, and a girl the size of a snowflake jumped out of the light, onto a pine needle.
“Great, golly, goodness!� Halo yelled. t’s good to be back!�
She glanced through the white pine, hoping to see or hear someone. When no one called out, she ignored the fear growing in her chest. This was her twelfth appearance, so Halo knew she might be the first arrival. No need to worry.
But she might be alone. Stranded in a foreign tree.
Her heart beat sped up. That couldn’t be true. Surely, she was back inside the house at 1414 Winslow Drive with the rest of the miniature tree people, the Treeples. She crossed her fingers and raced along the branch, ducking under a tin soldier ornament. At the end of the limb, she stopped to catch her breath beside a ceramic gingerbread boy with blue icing buttons.
Outside the tree, tall windows framed the front wall of a familiar living room. Halo grinned as she studied the brick fireplace. Right smack in the middle of the mantel stood a photo of Charles and Eloise Johnson, the magical humans who created the Treeples. One, or both, had decorated the tree, unknowingly launching the appearances of Halo and the little people.
“Yes!� Halo punched the air.
Genre: MG Fantasy
A small starburst appeared near the top of a decorated Christmas tree and began to spin, picking up speed on each rotation. Then it fizzled, like someone had opened a soda can. The starburst brightened, and a girl the size of a snowflake jumped out of the light, onto a pine needle.
“Great, golly, goodness!� Halo yelled. t’s good to be back!�
She glanced through the white pine, hoping to see or hear someone. When no one called out, she ignored the fear growing in her chest. This was her twelfth appearance, so Halo knew she might be the first arrival. No need to worry.
But she might be alone. Stranded in a foreign tree.
Her heart beat sped up. That couldn’t be true. Surely, she was back inside the house at 1414 Winslow Drive with the rest of the miniature tree people, the Treeples. She crossed her fingers and raced along the branch, ducking under a tin soldier ornament. At the end of the limb, she stopped to catch her breath beside a ceramic gingerbread boy with blue icing buttons.
Outside the tree, tall windows framed the front wall of a familiar living room. Halo grinned as she studied the brick fireplace. Right smack in the middle of the mantel stood a photo of Charles and Eloise Johnson, the magical humans who created the Treeples. One, or both, had decorated the tree, unknowingly launching the appearances of Halo and the little people.
“Yes!� Halo punched the air.
Secret Agent #21
Title: Destroying Enemies with Love
Genre: YA Fantasy
The heroes had left a dreadful mess. Blood, scorch marks, and goo stained the black stone walls. Villain King Loady’s head rested on his throne of bones while the rest of him spread in bits all the way to the door. In death like in life, Snot’s master had left her with a huge mess to clean up. And she didn’t mean his bloodstains seeping into the carpet.
Snot poked her head out of a crate. Her finned ears rang from all the explosions. The sight of Loady roused nothing but contempt. On the bright side, she wouldn’t have to explain to a corpse why she’d hidden while the heroes had slaughtered his skeletons, disemboweled him, and run off. On the other claw, she now had until sunset to live.
A blue wyvern as long as her forearm fluttered over to Snot. He resembled a miniature dragon save for having two legs instead of four. Giant, tearful eyes, one horn broken off, and flaky scales further reminded her this was no member of the proud and noble draconic race. “We’re all going to die!� he wailed.
“We’ll find a new master, Annoyance,� Snot said, glaring at the wyvern named for his piercing, high-pitched voice. Villain King Loady, may he rest in pieces, had cursed his experimental creations such that if he died, they died with him. It had enforced her loyalty and been typical of the spiteful old bastard.
Annoyance waved at the window. “The sun is setting right now.�
Genre: YA Fantasy
The heroes had left a dreadful mess. Blood, scorch marks, and goo stained the black stone walls. Villain King Loady’s head rested on his throne of bones while the rest of him spread in bits all the way to the door. In death like in life, Snot’s master had left her with a huge mess to clean up. And she didn’t mean his bloodstains seeping into the carpet.
Snot poked her head out of a crate. Her finned ears rang from all the explosions. The sight of Loady roused nothing but contempt. On the bright side, she wouldn’t have to explain to a corpse why she’d hidden while the heroes had slaughtered his skeletons, disemboweled him, and run off. On the other claw, she now had until sunset to live.
A blue wyvern as long as her forearm fluttered over to Snot. He resembled a miniature dragon save for having two legs instead of four. Giant, tearful eyes, one horn broken off, and flaky scales further reminded her this was no member of the proud and noble draconic race. “We’re all going to die!� he wailed.
“We’ll find a new master, Annoyance,� Snot said, glaring at the wyvern named for his piercing, high-pitched voice. Villain King Loady, may he rest in pieces, had cursed his experimental creations such that if he died, they died with him. It had enforced her loyalty and been typical of the spiteful old bastard.
Annoyance waved at the window. “The sun is setting right now.�
Secret Agent #20
Title: Space Shapes
Genre: YA Urban Fantasy
Lucy hesitated, her heart thumping. She took a deep breath and continued into the classroom, her eyes glued to the floor. All these people she didn’t know. That blond-haired boy in front of her was nudging his friend, the two of them laughing in her direction. Lucy cringed. If only she could disappear. Unbidden, a flash of darkness filled her mind; for a split second, only nothingness existed. What was that? She shook her head to get rid of it.
The rows of individual desks in the classroom were almost full. Chatter crescendoed in the room; some students were catching up with friends, others silently organised their papers and books. Where could she sit? Near the back would be best, where she wouldn't stick out.
The chair screeched as Lucy pulled it out. She squeezed her legs under the desk, her knees thumping against it as she positioned herself. The pixie-like girl next to her stared. Grrr, Lucy, enough! Focus on something else.
At the front, “Advanced Level Biology� was scrawled on the whiteboard; at least she’d found the right place.
The room was kind of cosy. No windows, but that made it homely. A tattered old poster of the human anatomy on the left suggested a history of debates, hinting at years of students passing through these walls.
“Good morning, everyone!� Mr Thompson’s voice from the raised wooden platform at the front cut through the noise. Everybody hushed.
Genre: YA Urban Fantasy
Lucy hesitated, her heart thumping. She took a deep breath and continued into the classroom, her eyes glued to the floor. All these people she didn’t know. That blond-haired boy in front of her was nudging his friend, the two of them laughing in her direction. Lucy cringed. If only she could disappear. Unbidden, a flash of darkness filled her mind; for a split second, only nothingness existed. What was that? She shook her head to get rid of it.
The rows of individual desks in the classroom were almost full. Chatter crescendoed in the room; some students were catching up with friends, others silently organised their papers and books. Where could she sit? Near the back would be best, where she wouldn't stick out.
The chair screeched as Lucy pulled it out. She squeezed her legs under the desk, her knees thumping against it as she positioned herself. The pixie-like girl next to her stared. Grrr, Lucy, enough! Focus on something else.
At the front, “Advanced Level Biology� was scrawled on the whiteboard; at least she’d found the right place.
The room was kind of cosy. No windows, but that made it homely. A tattered old poster of the human anatomy on the left suggested a history of debates, hinting at years of students passing through these walls.
“Good morning, everyone!� Mr Thompson’s voice from the raised wooden platform at the front cut through the noise. Everybody hushed.
Secret Agent #19
Title: Shadows of The City
Genre: NA Paranormal Suspense “Lexi’s gone.�
“Hello to you too,� I greet my younger sister, Stormie, without looking up from my client’s notes I am almost finished editing. “How was school?�
said,� Stormie’s voice edges in annoyance. “Lexi is gone.�
Puzzled, I look up to meet my sister’s turbulent hazel eyes. “Lexi?�
“My friend, Lexi. Gone.�
“Can you give me a few more details? At least some context?� I sigh, closing my laptop with a snap. “Where’d she go? Why? Should I be worried?�
Stormie shrugs her slender shoulders noncommittally. haven’t deciphered her last message.�
“Because?� I ask, rapidly losing my patience. Breathe through the nose. Inhaling slowly.
just got home!� Stormie yells impatiently, throwing down her backpack. “Did you expect me to decode in front of everybody on God’s green earth - in school?� she rolls angry eyes to the ceiling. “You must think I’m stupid! Geez!�
thought you might decipher it in the bathroom stall,� I suggest, ignoring the desperate desire to smack my thirteen-year-old sister upside the head. “How long will it take?�
“Will what take?�
“To decipher-�
“That depends on the length of the message!�
“Could you tell me why you interrupted me?� I demand, swallowing the anger boiling up my stomach. was working.�
Stormie rolls her eyes at the word working. thought you might want to know that there’s a real-life mystery at Lakeview High School.�
I slip my computer to the floor, my attention fully on my sister. “No way!�
�Way!� Johnny says...
Genre: NA Paranormal Suspense “Lexi’s gone.�
“Hello to you too,� I greet my younger sister, Stormie, without looking up from my client’s notes I am almost finished editing. “How was school?�
said,� Stormie’s voice edges in annoyance. “Lexi is gone.�
Puzzled, I look up to meet my sister’s turbulent hazel eyes. “Lexi?�
“My friend, Lexi. Gone.�
“Can you give me a few more details? At least some context?� I sigh, closing my laptop with a snap. “Where’d she go? Why? Should I be worried?�
Stormie shrugs her slender shoulders noncommittally. haven’t deciphered her last message.�
“Because?� I ask, rapidly losing my patience. Breathe through the nose. Inhaling slowly.
just got home!� Stormie yells impatiently, throwing down her backpack. “Did you expect me to decode in front of everybody on God’s green earth - in school?� she rolls angry eyes to the ceiling. “You must think I’m stupid! Geez!�
thought you might decipher it in the bathroom stall,� I suggest, ignoring the desperate desire to smack my thirteen-year-old sister upside the head. “How long will it take?�
“Will what take?�
“To decipher-�
“That depends on the length of the message!�
“Could you tell me why you interrupted me?� I demand, swallowing the anger boiling up my stomach. was working.�
Stormie rolls her eyes at the word working. thought you might want to know that there’s a real-life mystery at Lakeview High School.�
I slip my computer to the floor, my attention fully on my sister. “No way!�
�Way!� Johnny says...
August 17, 2020
Secret Agent Submissions One Week From Today
Our Secret Agent is ready to dive in and read YOUR first pages! Are you ready?
.
Ask your questions below!
August 4, 2020
SECRET AGENT CONTEST -- Coming Up!
Hello, writing friends!
Submissions for our next Secret Agent Contest are 3 weeks from yesterday (where has the summer gone?). Here's everything you need to know:
(Please note: This is NOT the call for submissions! The contest will open on Monday, August 24.)
SUBMISSION GUIDELINES (please read carefully):
*To enter, please use .
*THIS WILL BE A LOTTERY: The submission window will be open from NOON to 6:00 PM EDT, after which the bot will randomly select 50 entries.
* PLEASE NOTE: You are responsible for figuring out your own time zone. "Time Zone differences" are NOT a reason for not getting your entry in.
* Submissions are for COMPLETED MANUSCRIPTS ONLY. If you wouldn't want an agent to read the entire thing, DON'T SEND IT. If an "entire thing" doesn't exist, you shouldn't even be reading these rules.
* You may submit A DIFFERENT MANUSCRIPT if you've participated in any previous Secret Agent contests in the past year.
* Only ONE ENTRY per person per contest. If you send more than one, your subsequent entry(ies) will be rejected.
* Submissions are for THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript. Please do not stop in the middle of a
to submit via our web form.
As always, there is no fee to enter the Secret Agent contest.
This month's contest will include the following genres:
MG and YA Historical FictionMG and YA FantasyMG and YA Narrative NonfictionMG and YA EpistolaryAdult Upmarket (NO genre fiction--high fantasy, romance, etc.)
Please ask your questions below!
