Jillian Boehme's Blog, page 9
November 4, 2019
Talkin' Heads #2
TITLE: DESIGNING GHOSTS
GENRE: Adult Paranormal Mystery
Middle-aged single women Veronica and her BFF Roberta are discussing men, marriage, and the lack of good men to marry.
“Well, I wouldn’t say I was desperate,� Roberta said, “but at our age, the ocean is drying up. There’s not as many fish in the sea as there were ten years ago. Now all that’s left are the cranky old crabs and bottom feeders. You landed the last good catch.�
“I didn’t land him,� I said. “That sounds like I plotted to ‘get my man�, like in a Jane Austen novel or something. Riley and I just fell for each other; neither of us was even fishing. So you’re in a dating dry spell, no biggie. The next round of divorces should be clearing, and soon, your dating pond will be well stocked with good catches again.�
Roberta sighed. “I know, it’s just, well, forty-five is a hard age. I always thought I’d be married and have 2.5 kids by now...�
“You hate kids,� I said.
�...driving them to soccer in the minivan...� she continued.
“You hate minivans,� I said.
�...and at the point in my marriage where my husband and I are comfortable, even a bit bored, but content with life,� she finished.
“You hate being bored and really really hate boring sex. And you’ve been married. Twice. They didn’t work out. I think you enjoyed the weddings more than the marriages.�
“Of course I did,� she said, with a shake of her pretty red hair. “What woman doesn’t want to wear a fabulous dress and be the center of attention at a celebration just for her?�
GENRE: Adult Paranormal Mystery
Middle-aged single women Veronica and her BFF Roberta are discussing men, marriage, and the lack of good men to marry.
“Well, I wouldn’t say I was desperate,� Roberta said, “but at our age, the ocean is drying up. There’s not as many fish in the sea as there were ten years ago. Now all that’s left are the cranky old crabs and bottom feeders. You landed the last good catch.�
“I didn’t land him,� I said. “That sounds like I plotted to ‘get my man�, like in a Jane Austen novel or something. Riley and I just fell for each other; neither of us was even fishing. So you’re in a dating dry spell, no biggie. The next round of divorces should be clearing, and soon, your dating pond will be well stocked with good catches again.�
Roberta sighed. “I know, it’s just, well, forty-five is a hard age. I always thought I’d be married and have 2.5 kids by now...�
“You hate kids,� I said.
�...driving them to soccer in the minivan...� she continued.
“You hate minivans,� I said.
�...and at the point in my marriage where my husband and I are comfortable, even a bit bored, but content with life,� she finished.
“You hate being bored and really really hate boring sex. And you’ve been married. Twice. They didn’t work out. I think you enjoyed the weddings more than the marriages.�
“Of course I did,� she said, with a shake of her pretty red hair. “What woman doesn’t want to wear a fabulous dress and be the center of attention at a celebration just for her?�
Published on November 04, 2019 08:02
Talkin' Heads #1
TITLE: The Alphabet From A to Zero
GENRE: Adult Caper/Thriller
Zed Argonne has sold his winery for $3M, brokered by attorney Arthur Spurrier. Argonne has phoned Spurrier to note the problem.
“The money for the winery.� Argonne came across as bemused. “You said it transferred this afternoon, right?�
“Right. I got a message around 3:00 that everything was set. That’s when I called you.�
“Just to be clear, by ‘all set� you mean the money transferred from your escrow account to my investment account, correct?�
“Right. I got confirmation. I even viewed the account to triple-check, using the code you sent.�
“The code I sent.�
Spurrier felt the world tilt ever so slightly on its axis. “Two days ago. You said it was a one-time code that would allow me to confirm the balance in this account.�
“Ohhh, I forgot. How, exactly, did I send you this code?�
“In email. I even replied to the mail to tell you I received it.�
A long silence. Long enough for Spurrier to feel the jungle creeping back in. Tripwires on the trails. Safe as long as he didn’t move, didn’t breathe, didn’t disturb the night.
Argonne broke the peace, drawl gone. “May I presume, by your lack of response here, that you’re starting to comprehend the problem?�
Spurrier put his hand behind him, feeling for the solidity of the wall. “There must be some mistake.�
“Indeed. Whose, I wonder?�
“Um, I�. I�.�
“I hear the sounds of a dining establishment seeping through what I’m sure is your latest iPhone. Are you out to dinner?�
“Yes, but I can—�
“With your wife, or someone you’re trying to get into bed?�
“My wife.� Spurrier snapped the answer at him.
“Well, then. Since you’re not going to get laid tonight, perhaps you might get a doggie bag, head back to the office, and�.� He paused, one second, two. “And find my f***ing money.�
GENRE: Adult Caper/Thriller
Zed Argonne has sold his winery for $3M, brokered by attorney Arthur Spurrier. Argonne has phoned Spurrier to note the problem.
“The money for the winery.� Argonne came across as bemused. “You said it transferred this afternoon, right?�
“Right. I got a message around 3:00 that everything was set. That’s when I called you.�
“Just to be clear, by ‘all set� you mean the money transferred from your escrow account to my investment account, correct?�
“Right. I got confirmation. I even viewed the account to triple-check, using the code you sent.�
“The code I sent.�
Spurrier felt the world tilt ever so slightly on its axis. “Two days ago. You said it was a one-time code that would allow me to confirm the balance in this account.�
“Ohhh, I forgot. How, exactly, did I send you this code?�
“In email. I even replied to the mail to tell you I received it.�
A long silence. Long enough for Spurrier to feel the jungle creeping back in. Tripwires on the trails. Safe as long as he didn’t move, didn’t breathe, didn’t disturb the night.
Argonne broke the peace, drawl gone. “May I presume, by your lack of response here, that you’re starting to comprehend the problem?�
Spurrier put his hand behind him, feeling for the solidity of the wall. “There must be some mistake.�
“Indeed. Whose, I wonder?�
“Um, I�. I�.�
“I hear the sounds of a dining establishment seeping through what I’m sure is your latest iPhone. Are you out to dinner?�
“Yes, but I can—�
“With your wife, or someone you’re trying to get into bed?�
“My wife.� Spurrier snapped the answer at him.
“Well, then. Since you’re not going to get laid tonight, perhaps you might get a doggie bag, head back to the office, and�.� He paused, one second, two. “And find my f***ing money.�
Published on November 04, 2019 08:01
October 31, 2019
TALKIN' HEADS -- SUBMISSIONS NOW OPEN!
Go to enter your lead-in and 250-word excerpt. Remember--TALKIN' HEADS focuses on passages that are DIALOGUE-RICH.
GUIDELINES:
*Submissions will be open from 9:00 AM to 9:00 PM this Thursday, October 31.
*Submit an up-to-30-word lead-in plus 250 words of dialogue-rich story. (Look for a passage that is *more than 50 percent dialogue.)
*³§³Ü²ú³¾¾±³ÙÌý.
*This will be a lottery; the bot will choose 20 entries at random after the submission window has closed.
*Entries will post on Monday, November 4 for public critique.
PLEASE NOTE: The lead-in is important because it will help us to understand what's going on in your scene. If you want the most helpful feedback possible, please don't neglect to include this!
GUIDELINES:
*Submissions will be open from 9:00 AM to 9:00 PM this Thursday, October 31.
*Submit an up-to-30-word lead-in plus 250 words of dialogue-rich story. (Look for a passage that is *more than 50 percent dialogue.)
*³§³Ü²ú³¾¾±³ÙÌý.
*This will be a lottery; the bot will choose 20 entries at random after the submission window has closed.
*Entries will post on Monday, November 4 for public critique.
PLEASE NOTE: The lead-in is important because it will help us to understand what's going on in your scene. If you want the most helpful feedback possible, please don't neglect to include this!
Published on October 31, 2019 06:00
October 28, 2019
Call for Submissions: Talking Heads
Image by from
Hello, writer pack!
It's been a while since we've had some in-house critique. Let's have another round of Talking Heads, where we focus on dialogue.
Let's face it--dialogue can be tricky. It needs to sound natural while still moving the plot forward or revealing important things about our characters.
The best check for natural-sounding dialogue, in my opinion, is reading it out loud (I highly recommend this!). But another check is to let other eyeballs read the ramblings of our characters.
So here you go! The details:
*Submissions will be open from 9:00 AM to 9:00 PM this Thursday, October 31.
*Submit an up-to-30-word lead-in plus 250 words of dialogue-rich story. (Look for a passage that is *more than 50 percent dialogue.)
*Submit .
*This will be a lottery; the bot will choose 20 entries at random after the submission window has closed.
*Entries will post on Monday, November 4 for public critique.
PLEASE NOTE: The lead-in is important because it will help us to understand what's going on in your scene. If you want the most helpful feedback possible, please don't neglect to include this!
Published on October 28, 2019 07:40
October 21, 2019
Library-thon Winner
Congratulations to DAWN CREAL, who actually checked before the release date that STORMRISE was at the Fairfax County Library in Virginia. Thank you, Dawn! Dawn will receive a signed copy of STORMRISE.
Thank you to everyone who requested STORMRISE at your local libraries. (And it's not too late--your library requests are always greatly appreciated!)
Published on October 21, 2019 07:08
October 15, 2019
Hook the Editor: We Have a Winner!!
And the winner is...
#5 -- PERSEPHONE'S WALTZ
Congratulations! Please email me at [email protected] for submission instructions.
And a huge round of applause for all 5 entrants! It takes courage to throw your work out there, regardless of outcome. Every time we open ourselves to the helpful critique of others, we grow as writers.
Here's to growth! Thank you all for participating.
#5 -- PERSEPHONE'S WALTZ
Congratulations! Please email me at [email protected] for submission instructions.
And a huge round of applause for all 5 entrants! It takes courage to throw your work out there, regardless of outcome. Every time we open ourselves to the helpful critique of others, we grow as writers.
Here's to growth! Thank you all for participating.
Published on October 15, 2019 06:06
October 10, 2019
The STORMRISE Library-thon
Friends!
One of the most exciting things in recent weeks has been discovering copies of STORMRISE at libraries across the country (yes, I really do spend time researching things like this)--even as many as a dozen copies in a single library system! It's thrilling to know that my book will be in the hands of readers through their local libraries, and I'd like to continue to spread the love.
Wanna join me -- and have a chance to win a hardcover copy of STORMRISE in the process?Â
Welcome to the STORMRISE LIBRARY-THON! Here's how it works:
1. Request STORMRISE at your local library (usually this can be done online).*2. Send a screenshot of your request to me at [email protected]. FOLLOW ME on Instagram.
That's it! The contest will run until 11:59 CDT on Friday, October 18, and I will announce the winner the following Monday.
*If your library already has a physical copy or audiobook of STORMRISE, you can still enter! Just send me a screenshot of the listing in your library's card catalog. Please note--physical copies or audiobooks only for libraries who already have STORMRISE.Â
Thanks for helping STORMRISE spread its wings and fly into your neighborhood!
One of the most exciting things in recent weeks has been discovering copies of STORMRISE at libraries across the country (yes, I really do spend time researching things like this)--even as many as a dozen copies in a single library system! It's thrilling to know that my book will be in the hands of readers through their local libraries, and I'd like to continue to spread the love.
Wanna join me -- and have a chance to win a hardcover copy of STORMRISE in the process?Â
Welcome to the STORMRISE LIBRARY-THON! Here's how it works:
1. Request STORMRISE at your local library (usually this can be done online).*2. Send a screenshot of your request to me at [email protected]. FOLLOW ME on Instagram.
That's it! The contest will run until 11:59 CDT on Friday, October 18, and I will announce the winner the following Monday.
*If your library already has a physical copy or audiobook of STORMRISE, you can still enter! Just send me a screenshot of the listing in your library's card catalog. Please note--physical copies or audiobooks only for libraries who already have STORMRISE.Â
Thanks for helping STORMRISE spread its wings and fly into your neighborhood!
Published on October 10, 2019 08:30
October 9, 2019
COME SEE ME THIS WEEKEND!
Dear ones! If you're anywhere near Nashville or Knoxville, I'd love to see you.
I mean, this is one of the things I've dreamed of--putting faces to names and voices to words. I truly hope some of you can make one of these events.
1.
I'll be on a panel with illustrator James Barry on Saturday, October 12, at 2:00 PM in the Nashville Public Library Teen Studio. My portion of the talk will include a reading from STORMRISE, and there will be Q&A afterward. A signing will take place at 3:00 at the Signing Colonnade.
2.
I'm especially excited about this festival because it's been organized by teens. Bring on the teen readers and writers! Here's my schedule:
1:15 PM -- Jillian Boehme Author Talk (including a reading from STORMRISE)
2:15 PM -- Fantasy Panel with 2 other authors
3:00 PM -- Signing
And there you have it! Please (please please) let me know if you're planning to be at one of these events, because I'd love to meet you. (Feel free to email or DM me if you'd rather not post your whereabouts publicly!)
I mean, this is one of the things I've dreamed of--putting faces to names and voices to words. I truly hope some of you can make one of these events.
1.
I'll be on a panel with illustrator James Barry on Saturday, October 12, at 2:00 PM in the Nashville Public Library Teen Studio. My portion of the talk will include a reading from STORMRISE, and there will be Q&A afterward. A signing will take place at 3:00 at the Signing Colonnade.
2.
I'm especially excited about this festival because it's been organized by teens. Bring on the teen readers and writers! Here's my schedule:
1:15 PM -- Jillian Boehme Author Talk (including a reading from STORMRISE)
2:15 PM -- Fantasy Panel with 2 other authors
3:00 PM -- Signing
And there you have it! Please (please please) let me know if you're planning to be at one of these events, because I'd love to meet you. (Feel free to email or DM me if you'd rather not post your whereabouts publicly!)
Published on October 09, 2019 09:27
October 8, 2019
HOOK THE EDITOR: Guidelines
Presenting: Our 5 finalists!
Elayne Becker will be reading and commenting on all 5 entries, and will choose her favorite to receive the 10-page critique (winner to be announced next week). In the meantime, you are all invited to offer critique!
Guidelines for Critique on MSFV:
Please leave your critique for each entry in the comment box for that entry.Please choose a screen name to sign your comments. The screen name DOES NOT have to be your real name; however, it needs to be an identifiable name.  ("Anonymous" is not a name.)Critiques should be honest but kind, helpful but sensitive.Critiques that attack the writer or are couched in unkind words will be deleted.*Cheerleading IS NOT THE SAME as critiquing.  Please don't cheerlead.Having said that, it is perfectly acceptable to say positive things about an entry that you feel is strong.  To make these positive comments more helpful, say why it's a strong entry.ENTRANTS: As your way of "giving back", please critique at least 2 of the other entries.
*I can't possibly read every comment. Â If you ever see a comment that is truly snarky, please email me. Â I count on your help.
Enjoy!
Elayne Becker will be reading and commenting on all 5 entries, and will choose her favorite to receive the 10-page critique (winner to be announced next week). In the meantime, you are all invited to offer critique!
Guidelines for Critique on MSFV:
Please leave your critique for each entry in the comment box for that entry.Please choose a screen name to sign your comments. The screen name DOES NOT have to be your real name; however, it needs to be an identifiable name.  ("Anonymous" is not a name.)Critiques should be honest but kind, helpful but sensitive.Critiques that attack the writer or are couched in unkind words will be deleted.*Cheerleading IS NOT THE SAME as critiquing.  Please don't cheerlead.Having said that, it is perfectly acceptable to say positive things about an entry that you feel is strong.  To make these positive comments more helpful, say why it's a strong entry.ENTRANTS: As your way of "giving back", please critique at least 2 of the other entries.
*I can't possibly read every comment. Â If you ever see a comment that is truly snarky, please email me. Â I count on your help.
Enjoy!
Published on October 08, 2019 09:05
Hook the Editor #5: PERSEPHONE'S WALTZ (Fantasy)
Title: Persephone's Waltz
Genre: Adult Fantasy
Holy Maiden Ysabel has four months left to live. Then she stops the assassination of Dark Lord Kaine, a trans man leading a rebel army. In gratitude, he rescues her from becoming a human sacrifice—by kidnapping her. Hades X Persephone meets the humor of Terry Pratchett and the world-building of N.K. Jemisin.
I have four months, three weeks, and two days left to live. Yet here I sit, wasting a precious hour in a meeting with the Council of Cardinals. I need a smoke or a stiff drink. Not both; I learned from bitter experience on my knees in the outhouse that redleaf and alcohol do not mix.
While my eyelids droop, Cardinal Rakir finishes, “…As the maid said to the bishop.� All four cardinals laugh.
“What did you think, Holy Ysabel?� Rakir smirks.
I widen my eyes. “Oh, it was dreadfully entertaining, but I fear the Sun God has not blessed me with a wit equal to you gentlemen. Why did the bishop tie up the maid? Did she do something wrong?�
Rakir laughs even harder. I keep a vapid smile on my face. Just tied hands and a blindfold? At least take advantage of the increased reactiveness from sensory deprivation with a bit of hot wax and ice. Amateurs.
When I first dug up a dusty document proving that as a Holy Healer, I was entitled to join the council, the cardinals found the presence of a woman made it awkward for them to brag about their conquests during worktime. So I pretended to be too virginal to understand sexual innuendo if it mugged me in a dark alley. I’m still being excluded from the wheeling-and-dealing in their drinking sessions, but they don’t “forget� to tell me when to show up at the Cardinal’s Chamber to cast my vote.
Genre: Adult Fantasy
Holy Maiden Ysabel has four months left to live. Then she stops the assassination of Dark Lord Kaine, a trans man leading a rebel army. In gratitude, he rescues her from becoming a human sacrifice—by kidnapping her. Hades X Persephone meets the humor of Terry Pratchett and the world-building of N.K. Jemisin.
I have four months, three weeks, and two days left to live. Yet here I sit, wasting a precious hour in a meeting with the Council of Cardinals. I need a smoke or a stiff drink. Not both; I learned from bitter experience on my knees in the outhouse that redleaf and alcohol do not mix.
While my eyelids droop, Cardinal Rakir finishes, “…As the maid said to the bishop.� All four cardinals laugh.
“What did you think, Holy Ysabel?� Rakir smirks.
I widen my eyes. “Oh, it was dreadfully entertaining, but I fear the Sun God has not blessed me with a wit equal to you gentlemen. Why did the bishop tie up the maid? Did she do something wrong?�
Rakir laughs even harder. I keep a vapid smile on my face. Just tied hands and a blindfold? At least take advantage of the increased reactiveness from sensory deprivation with a bit of hot wax and ice. Amateurs.
When I first dug up a dusty document proving that as a Holy Healer, I was entitled to join the council, the cardinals found the presence of a woman made it awkward for them to brag about their conquests during worktime. So I pretended to be too virginal to understand sexual innuendo if it mugged me in a dark alley. I’m still being excluded from the wheeling-and-dealing in their drinking sessions, but they don’t “forget� to tell me when to show up at the Cardinal’s Chamber to cast my vote.
Published on October 08, 2019 09:04