Scott Allan's Blog
September 3, 2016
How To Take Back Control of Your Life
For years I wasted my time: Excessive TV watching, playing video games or internet shopping for crap I didn’t need. I’d come home from a 9-5 job and lose myself in worthless activities until the early hours of the morning. So why indulge in time wasting activities?
I was lost and didn’t know what I wanted.
When we don’t know what we want we drift through life like scavengers. We take from here and there, buying into the next popular brand, and dream about becoming famous or retiring life early on a beach in Maui.
But guess what, it isn’t going to happen.
If you’re frustrated, bent, broken, damaged, anxious or just feel hopeless, Ânothing you continue to do is going to change any of that.
Nothing you continue to do will change anything unless you make a decision to do it differently. What you have been doing up until now, if you’re feeling all these things, is manifesting itself into a life of depressive guttural junk. If you are doing work you hate, punching in the clock everyday and just collecting a paycheck at the end and you feel miserable because of that, it’s game changer time.
Most people don’t do what they love to do for several reasons. One is they think its too much work [Yes, its hard work]. They feel invested in their “chosen� profession. I hear it all the time. “I’ve been doing this so long I don’t know how to do anything else.�
It’s an excuse and it is keeping you trapped. Excuses are what we use when we resist the amount of effort needed to make real life changes happen.ÂYour excuses are the fears you are convinced are reality.
Stop with the excuses. Yes, life is hard. But if you live with your head buried in the sand like an ostrich you have nobody to blame but yourself. Get down with the reality of your situation; confront the brutal reality of where you are, and then build that vision of where you really want to be.
Gary Vanderchuk said “Look in the mirror and get real with who you are. Ask yourself what would I do with the rest of my life if I could do anything.� So there it is.
If you aren’t doing what you love, you’re doing work that somebody else loves and they are gaining more profit and freedom from your work. Oh right, let’s not forget, you are getting a paycheck. How would you feel if you were the one signing your own checks? What if I gave you a blank check right now and said “Here, fill in how much you want to be paid this week?�
It comes down to this: “How much do you really believe that you’re worth?� For years I cleared about four grand a month. Not a lot but it was enough to pay my bills. I did other side hustle jobs as well to supplement income, but no matter how hard I worked In this other job, whether they gave me one project or ten, my pay was the same. It didn’t matter. I realized that I was not in control of my financial destiny or anything else of that matter.
When your future is dictated by another person, company or organization, your life is that the mercy of their decisions. You make what they decide; but the flip side is, by accepting what they pay, you are settling for that.
You are completely responsible for how your life turns out. We can’t control many external circumstances, but there are some that we can and those are the choices that matter.
When your future is dictated by another person, company or organization, your life is that the mercy of theirâ¦
Steve Jobs once said: âI have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?� And whenever the answer has been “No� for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.â
I asked myself one day when I was doing the mirror challenge. Looking in the mirror I asked myself, “How far are you willing to go? What are you willing to do that you haven’t done yet? What scares you to the point you feel like running?�
This last question is critical. The answer is crucial. What scares you so bad that you avoid and procrastinate taking action on?� Whatever it is, that is what you need to be doing. Whatever it is you are running from is the ONE thing that can set you free. For years I avoided taking action because of fear. I was hoping that the fear would just “go away.� It didn’t. It stayed and over the months and years materialized into anxiety. My anxiety was a sign that I was running from my true identity.
Do you know who you really are, or are you feeding into the expectations of something else just to make somebody else happy? I know, we all want to be loved and avoid getting rejected. But what about the rejection you are forcing upon yourself? Do you realize most people who fear rejection are actually afraid of rejecting themselves? They are so Âterrified of being accepted that they’ll do anything, even taking action towards stuff they don’t want to do, just to avoid rocking the boat.
I say ROCK THE BOAT, and rock it hard. Make a difference. Don’t settle for the mediocrity being sold out there.
My mentor once said to me: “If you wait for a storm to hit, you’ll get hit hard. But be ready for it and take action when it comes, you’ll get a much better outcome in the end. Your choices determine whether you’ll sink or float in bad weather.�
So the question is: “What are you wiling to do to get your dream off the ground? How far are you willing to go? What would you be willing to do that scares you so bad you’ll do anything to avoid it?�
Whatever your answer is, that’s what you should be doing.
Whatever your dream is, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes. This means doing the things that others refuse to do. That might be waking up really early to write that book or work on your online course. You might have to give up TV for six months or a year. Stop taking luxurious vacations so you have enough cash to funnel your dream. Identify what you want and then decide what you’re willing to give up to get it.
Final Pointers:
Identify the fears that are holding you back.
Make a commitment with yourself today that you are going to do something about this.
Do the mirror challenge everyday. Spend just ten minutes every night and in the morning getting serious about who you are, what you want and what you’ll do to get it.
Be prepared: if you are procrastinating on something, make a short list of actions you can take today.
Finally: Do what scares you, and do it often.
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May 2, 2016
Why You Need to Stop Telling and Start Showing
I know when we get excited about the things we want to do, we talk about how successful we will be once they all get done. Maybe you have an ideal lifestyle you’d like to be leading camped out on a tropical island or living the virtual lifestyle from your laptop. Regardless what your dreams might be, nothing happens unless you actually DO IT.
For many people their to-do list grows bigger but the actual accomplishments remain the same. I have heard of people who died only later on to have their bucket lists of things they were “planning to do� discovered by friends or family. All the dreams written down of goals and passions never seen. Instead of creating, they became busier with life stuff that always prevented them from pursuing what they really wanted.
Telling People What they Don’t Need to Hear
I’ll make a confession. I am a big talker of all the things I want to do. For years I would always fire up a conversation with sentence starters such as: “Someday I’m going to� or “I’ll get to that as soon as I’m finished with…�
But hardly anything got done.
Over the months and years my to-do list of ideas and dreams continued to increase, but what I was actually getting done was very little. I talked about everything as if that special “someday� was just around the corner and soon I’d be quitting my desk job to live a better life.
But life stayed the same.
The years went by as years do. After awhile we look back on our lives in awe and say to people: “Where did it all go?�
Life is short, no doubt. It can be tragic too if you get to the end of it and realize that all the things you had planned to do will never get done; or worse yet, they’ll end up on someone else’s dream list.
So the question is, are you going to tell them how its done or show them how to do it?
I became aware of how much I was just talking when a friend of mine said: “You talk a lot about what you are going to do but you need to show me what you’ve done.� He was right. I had lots of plans with no plan of action.
Stop telling them; start showing them.
I soon realized the power of doing versus telling.
Talking people about a marathon you want to join isn’t the same as running everyday to get in shape.
Telling people about that book you are writing isn’t the same as sitting down with butt-in-chair and pounding out a thousand words a day until it’s done.
Telling people about that course you are planning to take isn’t the same as signing up for it and doing the work.
Telling people about your BIG life plans isn’t the same as showing them how you are living your dreams each and everyday.
Telling people about who much you are going to save this year isn’t the same as having a savings plan and cutting down on expenses a little everyday.
Are you telling or doing?
You can convert from a talker to a doer right now. Catch yourself when you start a sentence with “Someday I’m going to� or “I’ll get a round to it when�.�
These are doorways to excuses that keep you trapped in doing what you have always done instead of what you really want to do.
Here is what I do with my to-do list. Just throw it away or shuffle t somewhere. you don’t need a list of long things to do. Lists are for grocery shopping and how-to manuals.
On a single piece of paper, write down the one idea or goal that is your #1 driving passion. Put this at the center of the page. I would recommend using old fashioned pen and paper instead of software.
Next, imagine every possible step of the journey you would need to take to accomplish this goal. Branch out from the center and write everything down. Yes, this is a mind map. A powerful technique for getting real about your goal. This is the only “list� you need to be concerned with. Spend thirty minutes on this and stay focused until it’s done.
After that, take some time to visualize this thing happening. Don’t mistake this as just lofty dreaming. Visualization is a powerful technique that builds your dream quickly. See your finished product, goal or people celebrating what you have given them in terms of value.
“If you deliver, they will come.� Trust me.
Go back to your list of steps and take action on one of these. What is the first thing you can do? Remember, this should be a small task. If you pick something too big that has multiple sub-steps you won’t get it done as quickly. We want to build momentum here. You can do this by taking small incremental steps.
If you “show� and stop “telling� you will become a person of action. Instead of people saying: “Why doesn’t she just do it?� they will be saying: “How does he do that?�
In one year from now you can be living your dream if you start today.
Are you ready to start your journey?
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April 2, 2016
Crush Your Procrastination by Removing This Word From Your Daily Vocabulary
I’ve always struggled with getting things done. If I had to name the one obstacle that has slowed down my progress in life, it would be procrastination. But why do we procrastinate and put off doing until tomorrow when it could be done today?
The reason: We think that we have all the time in the world. There will always be a tomorrow so we don’t feel the urge to get it done now. We say to everyone we know: “I’ll do it later� when it could, very realistically, be done now. And then later comes and it turns into another excuse to put it off for another time. This is why we use such words as “someday.�
The word someday is, in my opinion, the most dangerous word in our daily vocabulary.
Someday I’ll start saving money. Then someday arrives and you realize you are flat broke with almost nothing to retire on.
Someday I’ll stop smoking. Then someday arrives and you’ve developed emphysema from thirty years of smoking.
Someday I’ll write a book. Then someday comes and you’ve written nothing, but you watched a lot of reality TV.
Someday I’ll stop working so much and spend more time with my family. Then someday comes and your family is all grown up and gone.
Someday I’ll quit the job I hate and do what I love. Then someday comes and you are still doing the same job you hate only now you’re too old to get hired anywhere else.
Someday I’ll start exercising; and then you start having health problems related to lack of mobility that prevents you from exercising at all.
Someday I’ll take that trip around the world; only now you have a family and a full time job you need to keep going to to pay the bills that never end. Guess what; it’ll never happen.
Someday I’ll change my habits, read that book, take that trip, make more friends, start scuba diving, build my online business, or tell someone I love them.
All someday�
Events that never happen except in a dream.
Someday is a trap that prevents us from starting anything. It is a self-lie that only reveals itself years later when it really is too late; time has run out and you realize that all of those some days you promised yourself and others will never happen now.
Someday is an illusion. It doesn’t exist. Think about all the promises you have made to yourself and all of the somedays that have come and gone.
How many chances have already passed you by? How many things did you say you were going to do and still haven’t? Worse yet, how many of those days and opportunities are gone and can never return?
The word someday is reserved for people who will never take action towards their dreams; they’ll stay stuck in whatever fantasy-reality they’ve created and continue to create.
“Someday� is the most dangerous word in your vocabulary.
The only time that matters is now. Today. Everything that has ever happened to you has taken place in one moment of your life. The moment you just had a moment ago has just ended.
You didn’t just grow up “someday.� You grew up in your life a day at a time. But all of those days passed by quickly, didn’t they?
Do you ever look back on your life [even if you are still in your early years and reading this] and wonder “Where did that go?� Trust me; there is no time to waste. I know because in my own life I have wasted a great deal of time believing that “someday� I would do so many things. My bucket list is still full of promises I made to either myself or others. I know I could have done much more if I had set goals better, wasted less time and stay focused on what I really wanted.
Life Isn’t Finished With You Yet
Life isn’t over yet. There is still time to do what you want to do. Are you doing it now?
You only have right now, and there never has been a better time to do it than today. Maybe you want to take a trip around the world someday, but you can’t leave right away because you have to save your cash. Your trip is in the future, yes, but what you do right now is start a saving plan for your trip. If you keep saying to yourself “someday I’ll save the money� you’ll never do so much as buy a ticket.
You want to write and publish a book? You can’t write it in one day so it isn’t going to be published tomorrow; but what you can do is write 500 words a day, or even a thousand on a good day. Now in three months you have your book. So instead of your someday being some far off distant dream, it’s now a more realistic goal because you are working towards it every day step-by-step.
Small daily actions can crush your someday habit.
But what about all the other excuses? The “in the moment� stuff that needs immediate action before the moment is gone. That fleeting second when you have just enough time to make a snap decision before the moment is gone?
Your child smiles at you and you don’t smile back cause you’re in a bad mood. Moment gone. Forget about someday; that moment just came and went. But what are you going to do next time? By recognizing the moments you fail to do what you intended, you can be better prepared if there is a next time. Don’t miss any more moments.
Someone needs help and you hesitate, questioning whether to help them because you might be late for work. Then someone else steps in and takes care of it. Moment gone. You spend all day thinking about that moment you wish you had back.
Life is full of fleeting moments that come and go. It is full of distant wishes that someday might come true IF we do something about it today.
Imagine this: it is your last day on earth. Hard to imagine? Steve Jobs died when he was just 56. Actor Heath Ledgar was only 28. How old are you? Life is ending, and it could be in thirty minutes or thirty years.
The Last Time
There will come a time when your spouse will tell you she loves you…the last time
There will come a time you will get on an airplane…for the last time.
There will come a time you will walk through a beautiful park…for the last time.
You will love, eat and laugh…all for the last time.
And the thing is, we don’t know when this last time will be.
Tomorrow? In five years?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Time is Non-Negotiable
If you had a choice right now, to have back five years of your life or five million dollars, which way would you go? I’ll guess that you want the time back. Five million is a lot of money but your life is worth more than that. Even if you had a hard life, time is the most valuable asset you own. Money can’t buy it back. You can’t negotiate for more time, but knowing this we can do as much as possible with what we have.
Time is an opportunity in the moment
As I pointed out in this post, everything is happening in the moment. Opportunity, choices and the chance to experience something that could change your life for the better.
When I look back I remember a lot of moments that I wish I had made that different choice, not overreacted or gotten angry; we have had times when, instead of seizing the moment we were seized by it and gave into fear or greed. That is in the past. Your future is happening now. And that’s right, it is not in the someday but today.
What choices will you make?
How will you exercise your emotions and temper?
What will you do so you can give more and take less?
The Best Time to Start is Now.
I used my excuse called “someday� to prevent me from starting anything new. When I immediately switched someday to right now, I acted differently. I treated every day as if there were no other. I appreciated those instant moments more than I ever had before. I had a deeper gratitude for the stuff that I knew wasn’t going to last forever.
Gratitude is a gift that we can’t afford to ignore. Develop a deep gratitude for the things you have, and love what you have in your life today.
Do this and you’ll love your life more than ever before.
Value your moments, and do what you can with each one.
What are you waiting for?
What is it you are starting today?
Who are you going to help today?
What difference will your choices make today?
You can do this. Put away the someday excuses. Do it today.
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December 24, 2015
Why Small Goals Matter More Than Big Resolutions
With the new year coming in strong, many people start to think about the habits they want to change in the upcoming new year because that’s what a “new year� is, a time to think about change. It’s an opportunity to wipe the slate clean and start fresh, to start what you’ve been meaning to do all year but just never got around to it. It’s time to startâ¦period.
The problem is, we set ourselves up for failure right away. Let’s say your goal is to start writing your own blog. You’ve been thinking about for months now and everybody tells you to do it because it’s all you talk about. You just haven’t started yet, and all you need is that extra push and you’ll begin. So you decide to make a resolution. It goes like this: I’m going to start blogging from January 1st, and I’ll do it once a week.
Then, after setting up your , installing WordPress and you use a free theme to start with you set out to get some blogging done. No problem. It’s new and fun. You are enjoying the moments o creativity. You writeÂa few posts and then motivation starts to take a decline. You get busy [as we all do] and you miss a week. But that’s okay, next week you’ll double up and write two blog posts. But you struggle because you’ve never blogged before and you’re not even a good writer. You might even it.
Are You Pressuring Yourself to Succeed?
The pressure is on to do. You have a resolution to keep; it’s your big promise for the year. If you stop doing this, you fail, and all the people holding you accountable are going to know. But every time you sit down to write, the ideas aren’t there. You have nothing to say. Then you forget about why you started blogging in the first place. You think about changing your resolution because this one isn’t fresh anymore. But you can’t. You made a few promises that this is going to be the year you make it, finally stop procrastinating, and get some real shit done.
Does this story sound familiar? I know it does for many people. It’s a common pattern when we lock ourselves into tough commitments for the new year. That’s why i stopped making resolutions a few years ago. I’m not saying you shouldn’t because they can work, but here is the problem. We go into it with an all-or-nothing mindset.
For example, I’m going to quit eating junk food on January 1st. That’s it; no more; finished. But how realistic is it? If you’ve eaten sugar and junk for years and your body screams for it at a certain time of day because you’re a sugar addict, making a hard-line decision to suddenly quit won’t matter. Within a few weeks [and for most people a few days into the new year cycle] you’ll talk yourself into eating something sweet and then�
You will have failed. Or so you think. The problem with all-or-nothing thinking and setting up BIG resolution promises is, we hold ourselves accountable to the extreme. It’s like said: “Do or do not. There is no try.� While that’sÂgood advice for a young Jedi, most of us are just trying to get through life and make a few changes along the way so that we can double or triple our quality of living. Changing old ways can certainly do that. Setting a hard-core resolution with no room for maneuverability won’t. You’ll slip up, eat that chocolate cake for dessert because “just one piece� won’t kill you, and then beat yourself up for days for failing again.
The majority of people who make over-the-top resolutions fail after the first two weeks. They take on moreâ¦
This is why we can turn a resolution into a long-term goal that gets results. To do this it does need some planning. But spend a few minutes on your plan and you’ll be able to accomplish anything in the new year, or, anytime of year for that matter.
For instance, my long-term goal for this year is to write 2000 words a day for my blog and books. I’m already doing 1000 words a day, but I do miss the occasional day because of family, other commitments that need my immediate attention, orâ¦some days I just don’t feel like doing it. When I miss a day, I miss a day. I don’t promise to make it up the next day because when you pile up your losses on one day to make up for it the next, you’re putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.
If you fail to meet your goal the first time, how will you feel again if you can’t follow through? Most likely you’ll give up. What’s Âthe point. I knew I couldn’t do it. Then the guilt sets in. You soon find reasons why you can’t do it. You decide to give it another shot from this Monday but your confidence is already shaken. You get busy doing “other stuff�.
Get Out Of the Guilt Game
When I miss a day writing [and I do] I don’t guilt myself and start the verbal beating. I know I can write. Just like, if your goal is to lose weight and you suddenly find yourself eating a cream pie after dropping five pounds, you’ll be tempted to go back to the way things were. Gorging again until all your weight is back.
The trick to getting resolutions done is to make a habit of doing something that contributes to your success gradually over the long-term. If you want to lose weight or write a blog, it doesn’t matter “what� the end goal is; what counts is the “how� of getting there. You’ve heard of or goals? It is the perfect antidote to getting your BIG goals accomplished by doing little stuff.
You want to write 2000 words a day? Start by writing 500 a day. Don’t try for 2000 right away. Build up to it. On one day you might 300 words and not the 500 that you were aiming for. Okay, so what? The point is you did something. The all-or-nothing-approach is a recipe for failure. It’s for perfectionists. This is why I failed for years to do anything or make any changes. Stuck in perfection I couldn’t get beyond the sticking point. Until I started doing little things in a big way.
Build Your Momentum with Small Habits
You know what happen when you roll a snowball down the hill? By the time it gets to the bottom you have a massive ball wth some serious weight behind it. We can get our goals done for the new year just the same. Start small and build big momentum over time. Soon your actions will become that snowball
You want to lose weight? Don’t go cold turkey on junk food, stop eating at fast-food restaurants and avoid all-you-can-eat restaurants all inÂthe same week. Gradually cut back. Gradually take small actions as opposed to one massive “I’m going to do it all this week� approach. HabitsÂformÂafter months of practice; and then you have to keep working at it, but they get easier.
You want to get into shape? Start by doing some simple exercises at home. Lise Cartwright has a book calledÂ
You want to save $5000 this year? Start by putting away $3.00 a day. Check out David Bach’s and start saving small.
You want to write a book? Commit to writing those 500 word a day. If that’s to much, do 300. Break it down into bite-sized actionable chunks that are manageable. Check out Chandler Bolt’sÂ.
Whatever you want to do this year is possible. But avoid the hard-line approach that it has to be done perfectly. Perfection is for people who dream about doing things someday but never get around to them because the time is never just right. Gradual progress over an extended period is far better than massive progress in a short amount of time and burning yourself out.
The time to start is today. You don’t have to wait for the first of the month or the next lunar eclipse to tell you to get going. What is your goal for this year? What do you really want more than anything?
Action Steps
Make your goals for the new year. Write these down.
Then, take the goal that will have the most significant impact on your life. Is it losing weight? Getting into shape? Saving money for that dream trip or a dream house?
Make a list of small steps. these have to be manageable action steps. Do what is possible and don’t try to do too much.
Build up your momentum over the weeks and months ahead. In six months from now, when you look back, you’ll feel like a mountaineer looking down the mountain they’ve just ascendedâ¦one step at a time.
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September 4, 2015
Treat Relationships as Gifted Investments
In family, business and friendship the relationships you have with people are extremely valuable; In fact your relationships, for better or for worse, are valuable to you for several core reasons. Take your relationship with your children for example: It is probably the greatest single investment you will ever make of your time and your life. Every moment you spend with them is precious and the times you spend together won’t last forever. The time you have together is a gift and so, every moment that you can give to this investment is going to pay you back in huge dividends. You could say the same for sharing time with good friends, family or partners.
As someone once said to me, “Time is short, and nothing lasts forever. Treasure the moment.�
You have to shop around for good investmentsthat interest you.
Not every investment is solid. If you play the stock market or you’ve ever bought into mutual funds, you will know that not everything is garnered to earn you a return on your investment. Sometimes you win; other times you might lose out. You might choose the wrong stock option that you thought at the time was a real winner. The same can be said for relationships.
We have all had relationships that just didn’t work out the way we thought they would: a business partnership gone bad, a marriage ends in divorce, or a long-time friends wrongs us somehow. Regardless of how it ended, when you initially placed your bets on this, you were probably expecting a certain outcome that didn’t come to fruition. This is all part of the process of learning to form worthwhile relationships. As we experience our lives with others, we realize that people have different agendas from our own.
Relationships, just like worthwhile investments, are a gamble. Sometimes you win, other times you lose. It doesn’t mean that you should stop trying. There are a lot of good “stocks� out there to be found; you have to keep your options open. If you lose once, and you will, don’t be afraid to keep trying. Some of the best friendships I have lasted me over forty years. I have friends that I have invested in for thirty years through sharing, communicating, keeping in touch, and just being there. My return on these friendships is gold in the bank.
With my children I spend valuable time with them on the weekends. I simply couldn’t invest enough time in this area of my life and, every time I do, it’s like money in the bank [even on the bad days]. In my profession as a teacher, I invest in my students when I provide them with quality teaching; In every relationship, you have that potential for gains as well as losses. And when you feel the relationship is suffering somehow, this is the downturn that you just have to ride out. When the economy is bad, investments suffer; when it is good, you can bounce back and earn even more. The key is to be patient and hold on even when a relationship has hit a rocky road.
Know When To Cash Out
Just as with any investment, you have to know when enough is enough and call it quits. The relationship is no longer contributing in a positive way to either party and it is time to cut your losses and move on. This could be a relationship with your partner, a co-worker, or even a close family member. Family relationships are the most difficult to deal with; we can’t choose family. What we can do is decide just how much time and effort you are going to continue to invest in this relationship.
Do you foresee this relationship getting better? Is it worth your time to throw good money after bad? Has the relationship become saturated or damaged to the point it can never recover? These are the questions you need to ask yourself. And then, based on your personal survey, decide if it is time to back away and give it space. You may be better off placing your valuable time and energy into another relationship that is more respective of your attention.
Stop throwing money into the relationships that are stagnant and find one that is more profitable. Spend more time with a close friend you haven’t seen in awhile; help out your neighbor that has grown too elderly to do the yard work. There are unlimited ways for you to expand new opportunities and forge the strong connections when you cease to invest in the people that no longer need what you have to offer.
The Investment in yourself
The most important relationship you will ever invest in is yourself. In fact, I would recommend spending at least one hour a day doing something for you. There are many ways you can boost your own personal worth because the relationship with yourself is forever; you can walk away from most bad relationships but you can’t escape from who you are! Is there a hobby you have been itching to get into? A new course you want to take online? A movie you have been wanting to see? Do you want to meditate or take up a new sport?
Treat yourself to something nice; spend time getting to know yourself. The investment you put into you is top priority. Why? You have to take care of yourself so you can be of service and benefit to others. People who do regular maintenance on themselves are much happier and in a better position to invest more strongly in the world around them. When we are happy and have taken care of our needs, it fuels your motivation to invest in your other relationships.
Questions for thought
What are your most valuable relationships at the moment? How are you investing in these? What is one thing you could do better to make the relationship even more valuable?
How much quality time do you spend with yourself? What is the one thing you have always wanted to do but haven’t gotten around to? How would this make you feel if you could do it? What positive impact would it have on your other relationships? Whatever it is, make a serious effort to do it. You can give more freely to those people around you when you take care of your own needs as well. This isn’t being selfish; it’s necessary.
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August 21, 2015
How to Banish Resentment
Taking a Swallow of “Bitter Poison�
The biggest destroyer of human relationships is resentment. When we hold grudges against the people that have somehow wronged us, the only person that really suffers is you. While the other party is having a good time and living life, oblivious it the pent up anger and bitterness you are carrying, you are walking around thinking of ways to get even.
What’s more, a single resentment causes great stress and creates a flow of negativity in your life that can last for months, years and even decades later. I’ve known people who were still griping about people they resented in high school…and it was thirty years ago!Just one resentment is enough to hold onto; many people have dozens of these “bitter tags� they have not dealt with.
Resentment is a bitter pill becomes injected into everything you do. It infects your thoughts even when you are sleeping. As Nelson Mandela once said, “Resentment is like drinking a glass of poison and then waiting for the other person to die.� And it is just that. You are so bent on what was done to you by the other party that it can consume your thoughts, taking up valuable headspace that could be used for more constructive and creative methods.
Just one resentment is enough to hold onto; some people have dozens they have not dealt with. I know of one man who has held onto his pain for fifty years and it still eats away at him. He hasn’t let go. He’s still hanging on to the past, believing that if the people that hurt him could be made to suffer and be brought to justice that he would somehow be at peace.
Holding On to Hate
Let’s face it; life is not always fair. People, including close friends and family, are not always fair. You and I are not always fair. I don’t know of a single person, know matter how friendly or good a person, that hasn’t wronged someone at least once in life. It is just the human way; we sometimes deliver injury to those around us either intentionally or unintentionally.
What matters is not getting even with the wrong that was done to us but dealing with it in a mature manner. Will you let it eat you alive while your life is wasting away? Or, are you going to face the pain and accept what was done is never going to change. You may never get that apology or recognition that what was done to you was damaging. The other person could be completely unaware that they did anything or, if they are, it hasn’t registered that this injured the other person.
The Ego in the Way
Your ego is a powerful force. It wants to defend its territory and it will at all costs. It cares nothing for what is right or wrong; when it is injured, it reacts, and it often does so aggressively. The ego wants justification for what has been done; it longs for getting even. Unfortunately this is not the healthy approach; an attempt to get even only buries the injury deeper.
You don’t heal from getting revenge but you cut the wound deeper, not only for yourself but the person you are angry with. There are many cases that you have lost touch with the person you are angry with, or they want nothing to do with you. Either way, you only have one path to take. You have to take care of your side of the street; let the other person take care of theirs.
You Have a Choice
As with most things in life, the choice is always yours. You can stay angry and bereaved, while spreading your misery to every other part of your life; or, you can deal with it, accept it and move onto something new. Now, this is not as easy as it sounds. Someone who has endured years of physical or sexual abuse has a long road to recovery; the pain they feel is deep and unforgiving. And yet, I have encountered numerous people who worked through it, who found a way to over come the bitter resentment and grief. They moved onto create healthier circumstances. They forged deep and meaningful relationships. It can be done, even for the worst of situations.
Time to Move On
Holding onto resentment and continuing your path of angry emotions is not going to make your life any better. You want to make closure with the situation; you need to accept that it happened and waiting for the other person to one day walk up to your home and knock on the door with an apology is unrealistic. It rarely happens. What can you do is accept it, talk about it with someone, and clarify that what happened has had a negative impact on your life. The pain does not have to continue. And if it does, you are only inviting more misery.
Work to forgive the other party, not for their benefit but for your own. The act of forgiveness is not so you can tell them that what they did is okay and you forgive them. In many cases it may not be. You want to move on, and you want closure to the situation. Forgive, accept and clarify that you have done as much as you can to work through this. Now it is time to start living again.
Take-Away Strategies
Make a list of people that have harmed you. Clarify what was done and how it affected your life. This is not a “victim� exercise where you get to play the victim to justify your hurt but rather, to put everything out there, to expose it so that you can deal with it objectively.
Make a list of people you have harmed. Yes, now make a list of people that you think may have been injured by something you did. This puts it in perspective that, even though you may have been wronged, there are undoubtedly people out there have been wronged by your actions. By accepting and acknowledging this you free yourself.
Write a letter to the person you are angry with. Tell them everything. Explain why you are hurt. In the letter let them know that you forgive them. Then, you can mail it if you want to, or you can burn it. Don’t hold onto it. Let it go. Once it is written, if you can no longer contact the person, get rid of the letter. By getting rid of it you are absolving the situation. I know someone who wrote a letter to his father thirty years after the man had died. By getting it on paper you are clarifying what was done, acknowledging that this injured you, and that you are ready to move on.
Remember that by letting go and learning to move on it opens up the doorways for newer, healthier relationships to exist in the future. And this I what we want: To forge deeper lasting relationships with the people in our live that matter, both in the present and the future.
Questions for thought
Have you ever had a resentment that lasted for a long time? Did you deal with it? How did you deal with it, and how did it change you?
Have you ever had someone approach you and tell you they were inured by something you did? Have you ever acknowledged something you did to another that they may have caused resentment on their part? By looking at it from both angles broadens the mind and gets you away from the “victim� mindset.
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Banish Your Resentment
Taking a Swallow of “Bitter Poison�
The biggest destroyer of human relationships is resentment. When we hold grudges against the people that have somehow wronged us, the only person that really suffers is you. While the other party is having a good time and living life, oblivious it the pent up anger and bitterness you are carrying, you are walking around thinking of ways to get even.
What’s more, a single resentment causes great stress and creates a flow of negativity in your life that can last for months, years and even decades later. I’ve known people who were still griping about people they resented in high school…and it was thirty years ago!Just one resentment is enough to hold onto; many people have dozens of these “bitter tags� they have not dealt with.
Resentment is a bitter pill becomes injected into everything you do. It infects your thoughts even when you are sleeping. As Nelson Mandela once said, “Resentment is like drinking a glass of poison and then waiting for the other person to die.� And it is just that. You are so bent on what was done to you by the other party that it can consume your thoughts, taking up valuable headspace that could be used for more constructive and creative methods.
Just one resentment is enough to hold onto; some people have dozens they have not dealt with. I know of one man who has held onto his pain for fifty years and it still eats away at him. He hasn’t let go. He’s still hanging on to the past, believing that if the people that hurt him could be made to suffer and be brought to justice that he would somehow be at peace.
Holding On to Hate
Let’s face it; life is not always fair. People, including close friends and family, are not always fair. You and I are not always fair. I don’t know of a single person, know matter how friendly or good a person, that hasn’t wronged someone at least once in life. It is just the human way; we sometimes deliver injury to those around us either intentionally or unintentionally.
What matters is not getting even with the wrong that was done to us but dealing with it in a mature manner. Will you let it eat you alive while your life is wasting away? Or, are you going to face the pain and accept what was done is never going to change. You may never get that apology or recognition that what was done to you was damaging. The other person could be completely unaware that they did anything or, if they are, it hasn’t registered that this injured the other person.
The Ego in the Way
Your ego is a powerful force. It wants to defend its territory and it will at all costs. It cares nothing for what is right or wrong; when it is injured, it reacts, and it often does so aggressively. The ego wants justification for what has been done; it longs for getting even. Unfortunately this is not the healthy approach; an attempt to get even only buries the injury deeper.
You don’t heal from getting revenge but you cut the wound deeper, not only for yourself but the person you are angry with. There are many cases that you have lost touch with the person you are angry with, or they want nothing to do with you. Either way, you only have one path to take. You have to take care of your side of the street; let the other person take care of theirs.
You Have a Choice
As with most things in life, the choice is always yours. You can stay angry and bereaved, while spreading your misery to every other part of your life; or, you can deal with it, accept it and move onto something new. Now, this is not as easy as it sounds. Someone who has endured years of physical or sexual abuse has a long road to recovery; the pain they feel is deep and unforgiving. And yet, I have encountered numerous people who worked through it, who found a way to over come the bitter resentment and grief. They moved onto create healthier circumstances. They forged deep and meaningful relationships. It can be done, even for the worst of situations.
Time to Move On
Holding onto resentment and continuing your path of angry emotions is not going to make your life any better. You want to make closure with the situation; you need to accept that it happened and waiting for the other person to one day walk up to your home and knock on the door with an apology is unrealistic. It rarely happens. What can you do is accept it, talk about it with someone, and clarify that what happened has had a negative impact on your life. The pain does not have to continue. And if it does, you are only inviting more misery.
Work to forgive the other party, not for their benefit but for your own. The act of forgiveness is not so you can tell them that what they did is okay and you forgive them. In many cases it may not be. You want to move on, and you want closure to the situation. Forgive, accept and clarify that you have done as much as you can to work through this. Now it is time to start living again.
Take-Away Strategies
Make a list of people that have harmed you. Clarify what was done and how it affected your life. This is not a “victim� exercise where you get to play the victim to justify your hurt but rather, to put everything out there, to expose it so that you can deal with it objectively.
Make a list of people you have harmed. Yes, now make a list of people that you think may have been injured by something you did. This puts it in perspective that, even though you may have been wronged, there are undoubtedly people out there have been wronged by your actions. By accepting and acknowledging this you free yourself.
Write a letter to the person you are angry with. Tell them everything. Explain why you are hurt. In the letter let them know that you forgive them. Then, you can mail it if you want to, or you can burn it. Don’t hold onto it. Let it go. Once it is written, if you can no longer contact the person, get rid of the letter. By getting rid of it you are absolving the situation. I know someone who wrote a letter to his father thirty years after the man had died. By getting it on paper you are clarifying what was done, acknowledging that this injured you, and that you are ready to move on.
Remember that by letting go and learning to move on it opens up the doorways for newer, healthier relationships to exist in the future. And this I what we want: To forge deeper lasting relationships with the people in our live that matter, both in the present and the future.
Questions for thought
Have you ever had a resentment that lasted for a long time? Did you deal with it? How did you deal with it, and how did it change you?
Have you ever had someone approach you and tell you they were inured by something you did? Have you ever acknowledged something you did to another that they may have caused resentment on their part? By looking at it from both angles broadens the mind and gets you away from the “victim� mindset.
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August 20, 2015
Transformation and Building Small Habits
The Desire to be Different
For years I wanted to change a lot of things about myself. Most of those changes were personality attributes that I didn’t admire such as my laziness or lack of assertiveness. I read a lot of books and occasionally [when I felt like it] would apply what I had learned in those books. I would make some slight changes at something but nothing that was groundbreaking or substantial enough to be called “real transformation.�
I became frustrated mostly because the term “manifestation and reinvention� were two words embedded into my mind. For me it meant “completely changing everything about who you are� right away. I wanted to be a completely new individual, to think differently and act differently, and to stop doing the things that obviously weren’t working.
I gave up a lot of times when things didn’t change right away. I read all the right books and applied most of what they said. I did this all alone too without sharing my knowledge with anyone. Why should I give away the secrets to building success? Others can find out for themselves what it takes to make it and be self-reliant.
There is a myth that, in order to be complete or to develop change, you have to transform who you are and start acting like who you want to be. I think the words “transform� or “manifest� scares a lot of people. Why? When I hear “transformation� it sounds like enlightenment, and to attain enlightenment is not a easy task. The Buddha is enlightened. I am just “me� struggling with the day to day simple problems and obstacles. So I moved away from transforming and focused instead on just the small changes that could inevitable generate big results.
The 30-Day Challenge for Habit Change
Instead of taking on a huge challenge like completely changing my life in three days, I would take a particular defect that I didn’t like and work on it for 30 days. Cursing is an example. I curse worse than Joe Pesci in Goodfellas. It became my “default language� whenever I felt stress or frustration. It didn’t relieve my stress but added to it.
So, for 30 days I tried not to curse. I failed 17 times, and every time I failed I had to start over again. But day by day this habit shifted. After thirty days I picked another habit to “MASTER�. I continued this for six months, focusing on one habit to implement every thirty days.
Another example: Writing 1000 words a day. For years I procrastinated. I wanted to do the things I was always thinking of doing and yet, whenever I got around to it or I had free time, I watched TV or surfed the internet for the latest gossip news on the Yahoo homepage. Time wasted.
By putting aside just thirty minuets a day I could write 1000 words a day for thirty days. Now I do it everyday and if I don’t, it pulls at me from the inside. I realized that for years I was defatting myself by believing in the myth of transformation, and that to make changes in your way of life you had to overcome your obstacles and challenges all in one day.
It is overwhelming to think this way. Nothing changes overnight. All things are in stages, and those stages can happen in small increments. You don’t have to rush it. You have time. I was always pressed for time. And the older you get, the more pressure you feel.
If you put pressure on yourself to change all your habits, shift your mindset, and totally transform the way you live…in as little as there days, you are going to cause stress. Change happens in time and through the consistent and daily practice of those little things. I have always been an all or nothing kind of person. It had to be done, all at once or not at all. This kind of thinking led to procrastination, and this leads to getting nothing done. I am a firm believer in transforming habits and focusing on change to develop life skills that are weak; but, nothing comes easy and it takes time.
One Action at a Time
Focus on one habit, concentrate on one action, and give that all your focus for a determined amount of time. You will gradually see the changes in your lifestyle and the way you do things. And, you will and can feel better. It doesn’’t have to be all done today.
I have always been obsessed with doing things in a BIG way. If I created a website, it had to be the best website on the net; when i wrote a book, it had to be the perfect bestseller; if I looked for a new job, it had to be the best job in town. My expectations were higher than my talent, and when I didn’t succeed at these things I was depressed and beat myself up. Either I had to have it all or I didn’t want it at all.
Take-Away Strategies and Actionable Items:
Focus on one thing at a time;
See transformation as a long term investment
Integrate these changes in the everyday small actions you take.
Focus on the moment. Stay there for as long a you can.
Integrate the “Baby Steps� in everything you do.
Be Patient…with yourself.
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August 19, 2015
Replacing Worn-Out Habits and Habit Identity
Your habits form the foundation for the quality of life you will enjoy, the happiness you will achieve on a daily basis, and the productivity and efficiency that makes things run smoothly in all the vital areas of your life. Habits are powerful tools that, if managed properly, operates like well-oiled machine to keep you moving in a steady direction that builds success into everything you do.
Your habits can make you or break you and so, when it comes to creating the habits that are in alignment with your objectives and dreams, it is imperative that habits are constructed, practiced and streamlined in such a way that it supports the lifestyle you endeavor to thrive in.
Habits Launch Identity
If we neglect to focus on the habits that could make a difference in the things that matter, we will latch onto the habits of least resistance and master the habits that don’t matter. A habit that acts as your “default habit� formed out of laziness is the path of least resistance and leads to failure; it is the easy way out, and the most logical choice when all the other choices seem complaicated or tough to face. If you fail to identify with your daily habits, they will do what they have always done-run the show from top to bottom.
Your habits give you identity. As Aristoltle put it, “We are what we repeatedly do, day in and day out.� When you practice something over and over again, you master it. This works whether the habit serves to empower you or defeat you. If you think of it this way, there really is no such thing as a bad habit, only a habit that diempowers you when it goes against everything you desire to achieve and be.
People fail when they cannot identify with what habits they have to create to serve their best interests. And how do you fail? By doing the practices that deprive you of reaching your full potential. If you desire to run a marathon, you have to create the habit of exercising, maybe by running a few kilometers every day. But you might have another “default� habit that makes you want to eat junk food every night. If so, exercising and eating junk food won’t work well together. They oppose each oter, not just physically because you can’t exercise after eating a bag of potato chips, but mentally as well. Your mind responds much better when you have eaten something healthy.
Believe You Are “That� Person
Everyone has habits that could do with replacement, regardless of who you are or what you do. habits that served you well ten years ago may now be ready for replacement. But, as you know, changing something takes effort. When you try to replace anything, you are met with a certain level of resistance. Depending on how comfortable this habit makes you feel decides the level of resistance you have.
Over the years I have changed several habits that were no longer serving my higher purpose. I still struggle with certain habits that refuse to let go, or better yet, I insist on holding onto. In many ways it is like growing up with a baby blanket. When someone tries to grab it you will fight to the bitter end to keep it.
If you want to get something done, believe that you are that type of person who gets things done. For example, I am a writer. I write words on paper and then publish them. For years I called myself a writer but the truth is, I only wrote when I felt like it. And that wasn’t often. I knew my habits were not in alignment with what I was trying to convince myself I was.
Did I believe it? No I didn’t. Create an identity for yourself by telling yourself that you are that person that writes everyday. If you want to lose weight [and most people do], tell yourself you are the type of person that exercises and eats well. If you stuff yourself with junkfood and then watch TV, this goes against your new identity.
Once you decide your new identity, you have to take action. You need to do something, even if it is a small step. One small step is better than nothing, and usually, it is enough to get you moving in the right direction. If you taek enough small steps, soon you will be making real progress. You will develop the habit of your new identity.
Here is what you can do:
Decide the kind of person you want to be;
Decide the small steps you are taking to become this person;
Take at least one small step everydaytowards the development of your ideal self.
It is important that you don’t miss a day. If you start missing a day or two, that will become your new habit and you’ll identify yourelf as someone who can’t stick with a routine. Whatever it is you want to accomplish, make a list of action steps you can do. Take time to brainstorm ideas and write down everything.
Don’t get overwhelmed by trying to do too much. My suggestion is to pick two things you want to focus on. For instance, I chose writing more words, and exercise. So I created a new routine where I blocked off time for both. I tried a twenty minute exercise spurt in the morning, and then followed that up with a 25 minute writing session using the pomodoro technique. There were a few days I missed. And those days turned into a week at one point. So keeping it consistent is the key.
Consistency builds Habit.
Habits build success and get results.
Habits and Self-Esteem
People fail in the important areas of their lives, not because they really are failures but, they fail to connect the importance of strong, healthy habits to their emotions. This isn’t just about doing something and getting results. When you do something that inspires change in your life, you feel good about yourself. You boost your confidence and feel great about who you are. When that happens you experience higher levels of self-esteem, which is basically how you feel about you.
When the habits you partake in damage your health, physically or mentally or emotionally, the obvious result is you beat up on yourself. Self-talk tells you “You see, I knew you couldn’t do it! You’re a loser. Everyone else can succeed at this but you. What is wrong with you? Are you stupid?� These words has a powerful impact on self-esteem. You will find your thoughts and feelings at the bottom of the barrel if you talk to yourself this way. By deciding what it is you want, and taking actions to get there, you can feel great about yourself in a matter of weeks.
Self esteem is something everyone struggles with, and especially if you are prone to being controlled by negative behaviours or destructive habits, your self esteem may be suffering. This is how many people become depressed. They seek help through councelling, doctors, aor other means. Although these methods have their place, I’m sure many people could make the changes in their lives they needed with just a few changes to some habits that are damaging their emotional state.
A low emotional state is also a good sign that something needs doing. Like when your car needs a tune up and it makes strange noises to let you know that, the signs that something needs “tuning up� are there. When you learn to recognize it then you can do something about it.
Action Steps Recap
Decide right now what it is you want to do. Write this down or put it into an app.
Sketch out some actions you can take everyday for the next 21 days.
Decide when and how often you are going to do this.
Do it on the first day.
Do it on the second day.
Continue to do it every other day for at least 21 days.
When you are through the first 21 days, take some time out to connect with your emotions. How do you feel? Do you feel invigorated? More lighter, fresher, or vibrant? Their is a relationship between altering your behaviour and your emotional state. When you do something positive for yourself, such as exercising or studying for that degree you have always wanted, you connect it with your new identity.
Your new identity is reinforced by the small actions you succeed in doing everyday. When you stop doing these things, you feel like a failure. To do them is to feel successful. Your emotional state and level of self-esteem will always follow the amount of effort exerted.
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August 18, 2015
Long-Term Planning and the Pomodoro Technique
Benjamin Franklin once said, “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.�
I know that planningsomethingisn’t as much fun as actually doing the thing that you is planning for. This is especially true if you are struggling with your financial future or possible job prospects. Most of us would rather take it easy, go with the flow and “just see what happens.� This is a dangerous way to approach anything in life.
When you go with the flow you just end up being swept away by the current of life and ending up in some place you don’t want to be in doing something you don’t want to be doing. By not putting in the time to plan your life, somebody else is going to plan it for you. When that happens, the rules of the game change. You are no longer in charge of your life; you have given the reigns over to somebody else.
Planning pays. Failure to plan makes you pay.
It doesn’t matter if you are planning for your education, to save some money, futureemployment, or your next vacation, the necessity of planning cannot be avoided.
Several years ago I developed a habit that to this day has proven its worth in gold. There are several things I do to make planning a priority beforeanything else. I set aside the time to plan things out at the beginning of the week. When I first started this, I met with a lot of resistance. Planning was never something I was good at. Ipreferred to just roll with the punches and take things as they happened. I learned a valuable lesson from this: nobody is going to show up and help you unless you take the first initiative to help yourself. In other words, if you fail to take action, action will be taken against you. You will end up following somebody else’s plan and working for their goals instead of your own.
Imagine if you decided to take a vacation and gotinto your car without any sense of destination. This sounds silly but think about it, isn’t this how most of us live our day-to-day lives? By getting behind the wheel of life and plunging forward, ignoring all the warning signs along the way. There is a saying that “done is better than perfect.� Well, maybe its time to create a plan that is only 70% good than wait for the perfect plan that is 100% guaranteed. No plan is perfect, but creating something that is half-assed is better than kissing ass years later down the road.
Don’t Waste More Time Than You Already Have
The time you spendbrainstorming and mind mapping ideas actually saves you twice as much time in the future. Ten minutes of planning a day could save you two hours the next day.You don’t have time for that? How much time does the average person spend watching TV a day? About 2.6 hours. How much time does the average person spend on Facebook and other social media sites? About 1.7 hours. This includes checking in thirty times a day to all those little notifications we get on our smartphones.
So, why does failing to plan lead to failure in other areas of living?
It is in the stages of planningsomething that most of the work is already taken care of. Many things that you want to get done but have beenprocrastinating about can be worked out if you sit down and draft out a plan of attack. Again, just getting this stuff down on paper gets the ideas flowing out of your head. You could save yourself years of grief and waste d time by taking time out today, right now to start piecing together a plan of action.
For example, as a writer, before Iset out to write a novel, I create an outline for the work. The few days or weeks I spenddraftingideas for the book and planning what to writebefore I write it is aninvestment in the project. Thewriting then goes much faster and, by the time I am done “outlining� or planning, the book practically writes itself.You can adjust this strategy for anything.
Before you set out to do anything, have some kind of plan beforehand, even if it is rough. Taking action, just a small step, is better than being paralyzed and doing nothing. And when we waste time on activities that don’t contribute to the quality of our lives, we are setting ourselves up for some serious pain later.
For example, you are creative and you want to express your creativity through art or writing, but you don’t have time? Make a twenty-minute stint where you shut off everything and get started. Write down a sentence. Type a word, or dig out that old recipe you have been meaning to try out [yes, cooking is creative too].
The same formula can be used for putting together a financial plan for your future. You arehang trouble saving money? You don’t know where to begin?You are forty yearsold and have noretirementplan?
25 Minutes and your Problems are Solved
Twenty five minutes of your life is all I’m asking for. Set a timer for twenty-five minutes. Why twenty-five? Because then you can use the technique. Within twenty five minutes you are going to dump all your ideas for taking action on the one area of your life that makes a difference. On paper or using an app for mind mapping such as you are going to get all your ideas out if your head and down on paper.
Do this for twenty-five minutes an then see where you are at. Chances are you’ll feel refreshed and ready to do more after a five minute break. Continue this until can’t get anything else down, or you just simply run out of ideas. Then, choose one of these ideas and put it into action. Make it an action that can be done in less than five minutes. This gets the momentum going.
Next, organize all the other ideas for your theme in the order that you should do them. Do you have to research some information? Call someone? Set up an appointment? Buy a schedule book? Whatever it is, I would do the easy actions first. Get them out of the way, and then focus on the more complex action steps. Break the big steps down if you can; make these your mini-goals.
Remember: If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. No exceptions.
Everything in your life, from a career to health to raising your family, would benefit from a well crafted plan. And again, the plan doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to outline every detail for the next twenty years, but you do need to start somewhere. The best time to start would be right now.
Action Plan Recap
Once again, here is the process I use for working out a“rough� plan for my work [projects] and my life.
Write down the one area of your life that would lead to massive change or have an impact on the quality of your life if you were to take some form of action. Is it your financial situation? Career? Do you want to quit your job and do something else? Do you want to start up a website that promotes your business at home? Write it down.
Do a quick brain dump. For the next 20 minutes, do nothing but write down as many ideas as you can that would initiate action to be taken. Do you have to call someone? Research a topic? You can stop after twenty minutes and look at the actions you have written down.
Take one of your ideas and act on it. Now the key here is, you want to choose something that is easy. It should take you just a few minuets to complete. For example, maybe your goal is to set up a website or a blog. You can actually do this rather quickly by joining hostgator or bluehost. You can get a domain name here. Registration takes a few minutes. By taking a minute action, it starts to build momentum.
Write down your actions in a list and label them in order. Then, make a commitment to do one thing everyday. This can be a mini-action. It doesn’t have to be “write ten blogs by the end of Friday.� Break it down into bite-sized chunks.
At the beginning of every week, set up your action plan for the week. Make a list of six things [action steps] you are going to take to move you towards your goal. I would recommend Sunday evening because it is the start of the week for many people.
So now answer these questions:
What area of your life do you want to take action on?
What actions can you take? Make a list.
What small action can you do right now?
What does this action plan look like in order of importance?
What will you do this week?
This process takes about one hour of work. Or, you can watch the latest episode of Game Of Thrones.
Your choice.
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