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To All The Girls I've Loved Before


ÌýÌýÌýÌý Maybe it's because I grew up in a family of girls, but Ihave always had lots of girlfriends. I know Julio and Willie weren't reallysinging about the friend kind of love, but I think the line is stillappropriate.    All my friends are no longer girls. They're women. Notladies, either, because none of us would conjure up high heels, crossed ankles,delicate laughs, or formal clothes. We can do that, but we'd rather not. We runaround in sneakers, sit crossed-legged, laugh so loudly we get kicked out ofrestaurants, and are more comfy in track pants or jeans. ÌýÌýÌýÌý My women pals are large (not necessarily in size, but inlife), smart, loving, and unique. We talk about everything, from food to sex toother pleasures and pains. We discuss our husbands, or man friends, or otherwomen, or television and movies. We recommend the latest books we'rereading. We love to all finish the same novel and then see the film version.ÌýÌýÌýÌý Some of my friends are blood related. They're my sisters. Ilove being with them. They're funny and often wild and always interesting.Conversation never lulls. In fact, it's surprising we can hear each otherbecause we all talk at once. Our family get-togethers are absolutely nuts. Wedo recognize that it's difficult for some of the significant others to take,but if they hang around long enough, they are loved so fiercely that, even ifthe relationship doesn't last, the family connection often does. We have thehugest laughs you've ever heard and we indulge in laughing every few minutes.ÌýÌýÌýÌý One of my sisters died nine years ago, and her laughter still rings in ourears, and we still see her mooning us from the car as we caravan down thehighway. We still watch her dance on the deck or sit on the balcony watching aseagull float by.ÌýÌýÌýÌý One of my closest friends is my cousin. We've known eachother since birth, just like a sister, and have that flow of shared genesbetween us on top of our enduring friendship.ÌýÌýÌýÌý I remember writing a poem a long time ago stating that thehighest compliment I can give to one of my friends is that they are like asister to me. Because for me, sister means joy, love, and hope.ÌýÌýÌýÌý Some sisters are related by marriage (and continue even if the marriage didn't). Some have grown upwith me. We met in high school or in our first year of teaching. We haveliterally gone through every twist and turn in the road that can be imagined.We've watched each other change and grow and learn. Others were met later alongthe path, but have no less a place in my heart and in my life. ÌýÌýÌýÌý They've helped me through divorce (now that's anotherstory), child rearing, loss of loved ones, difficult times. They've been thereat the celebrations and crossroads. Happily, I've been there for them, too, or atleast I've tried.ÌýÌýÌýÌý We support one another, praise or critique when deserved orneeded, raise a glass or two or more in tears or laughter. We can bitch andcomplain without feeling censored or misunderstood. We can disagree withoutlosing each other's respect. In fact, sometimes it only heightens our esteem.We can be annoyed with another, because we can be real. It doesn't shake thatdeep abiding love.ÌýÌýÌýÌý I realize and never take for granted that I am especiallylucky. I have lots of women friends. I adore them. They help me laugh, cry,think, learn, and grow. They demand that I be honest and true, not just tothem, but to myself as well. As the saying goes, they insist that I be the bestI can be.ÌýÌýÌýÌý To all the girls I've loved before, I still love you now. 

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Published on January 24, 2012 12:49
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