VEGAS REALITY SHOWS I'D LIKE TO SEE
ROMAN POLANSKI'S HOT TUB PARTY . . . The title says it all! Direct from the Palms hotel & casino, Polanski critiques some of Hollywood's most celebrated films, while sodomizing a drugged and unwilling underage girl. Get ready for some hot tag team action, when Polanski is joined by celebrity pals Jack Nicholson and Woody Allen -- and special "guest fluffer" Debra Winger. Hey, just keep telling yourself it's not "rape," rape. (Right Whoopi?)
LEAVE IT TO QADDAFI . . . What happens when a Middle East tyrant and religous fanatic decides to chuck it all and open a tattoo parlor in Sin City?? Hijinx ensue when Moammar "Daffy" Qaddafi hits the Las Vegas Strip like a suitcase nuke! Watch as he talks Lindsay Lohan into getting a "Death to the Infidels" tramp stamp; rides his camel through the Starbucks drive-up; and threatens to behead an insolent buffet server . . . and just wait til you meet those wacky newlywed neighbors! (Joy Behar and Kim Jong-il.)
PARANOID CONSPIRACY THEORIES WITH CHARLIE SHEEN . . . Each week a drug-addled Charlie Sheen gives a sixty minute rant about a nonexistent conspiracy while snorting cocaine off a stripper's ass. Forget about who really knocked down the Twin Towers Charlie. We'd like to know why you still have a frigging career?
MY AMIGO GEORGE! . . . "Muchas Gracias!" Is what you'll say, when President George Bush gives some lucky, undocumented worker the day off and performs his job duties. In the pilot episode, Dubya hands out fliers for an escort service on the Strip, washes dishes at a trendy, non-union Vegas eatery, and builds a deck on Dick Cheney's Lake Mead summer retreat.
VINCE NEIL'S LOOZA-PALOOZA . . . Who'd a thought a bloated, middle-aged ex-rock star could still look so good in eyeliner and Spandex?? Vince teams up with fellow has-beens like David Lee Roth and the drummer from the Dave Clark Five (Tommy in rehab) and rocks frat parties and boat shows all over Vegas. Let's face it Vince, you're six months away from opening a "theme" restaurant and a stint on Celebrity Rehab.
MISTY CROSLIN: SIN CITY AU PAIR . . . She'll chain-smoke her way into your heart!! Each week Misty babysits the rugrats of Las Vegas, while modeling the latest in lingerie from Victoria's Secret. The tykes really get an education as Misty shows 'em just where the horse bit her -- and talk about an interesting tatoo: issat really the guy from ZZ Top's beard?? Hey kids! Ready for some arts & crafts? Watch as Misty teaches the tots how to roll a blunt -- and shows 'em the correct form when doing a keg stand. After a long day, the kids get to flake out on an air mattress, while Misty reads them a bedtime story from her favorite book: "Deliverance." The fun really starts when the tykes turn up missing. I don't care what they say Misty. You can move into my trailer anytime!
TOP MEN'S ROOM ATTENDANT . . . Forget those self-absorbed, meglomaniacal celebrity chefs! It's time we paid homage to the true unsung heroes of Las Vegas -- the men's room attendants. Contestants are judged on a broad spectrum of skills, ranging from speed-loading a multiple-roll toilet paper dispensor; to performing jumping jacks in a bio-hazard suit. Celebrity judges include members of the U.S. Senate, and that idiot from Wham.
LEAVE IT TO QADDAFI . . . What happens when a Middle East tyrant and religous fanatic decides to chuck it all and open a tattoo parlor in Sin City?? Hijinx ensue when Moammar "Daffy" Qaddafi hits the Las Vegas Strip like a suitcase nuke! Watch as he talks Lindsay Lohan into getting a "Death to the Infidels" tramp stamp; rides his camel through the Starbucks drive-up; and threatens to behead an insolent buffet server . . . and just wait til you meet those wacky newlywed neighbors! (Joy Behar and Kim Jong-il.)
PARANOID CONSPIRACY THEORIES WITH CHARLIE SHEEN . . . Each week a drug-addled Charlie Sheen gives a sixty minute rant about a nonexistent conspiracy while snorting cocaine off a stripper's ass. Forget about who really knocked down the Twin Towers Charlie. We'd like to know why you still have a frigging career?
MY AMIGO GEORGE! . . . "Muchas Gracias!" Is what you'll say, when President George Bush gives some lucky, undocumented worker the day off and performs his job duties. In the pilot episode, Dubya hands out fliers for an escort service on the Strip, washes dishes at a trendy, non-union Vegas eatery, and builds a deck on Dick Cheney's Lake Mead summer retreat.
VINCE NEIL'S LOOZA-PALOOZA . . . Who'd a thought a bloated, middle-aged ex-rock star could still look so good in eyeliner and Spandex?? Vince teams up with fellow has-beens like David Lee Roth and the drummer from the Dave Clark Five (Tommy in rehab) and rocks frat parties and boat shows all over Vegas. Let's face it Vince, you're six months away from opening a "theme" restaurant and a stint on Celebrity Rehab.
MISTY CROSLIN: SIN CITY AU PAIR . . . She'll chain-smoke her way into your heart!! Each week Misty babysits the rugrats of Las Vegas, while modeling the latest in lingerie from Victoria's Secret. The tykes really get an education as Misty shows 'em just where the horse bit her -- and talk about an interesting tatoo: issat really the guy from ZZ Top's beard?? Hey kids! Ready for some arts & crafts? Watch as Misty teaches the tots how to roll a blunt -- and shows 'em the correct form when doing a keg stand. After a long day, the kids get to flake out on an air mattress, while Misty reads them a bedtime story from her favorite book: "Deliverance." The fun really starts when the tykes turn up missing. I don't care what they say Misty. You can move into my trailer anytime!
TOP MEN'S ROOM ATTENDANT . . . Forget those self-absorbed, meglomaniacal celebrity chefs! It's time we paid homage to the true unsung heroes of Las Vegas -- the men's room attendants. Contestants are judged on a broad spectrum of skills, ranging from speed-loading a multiple-roll toilet paper dispensor; to performing jumping jacks in a bio-hazard suit. Celebrity judges include members of the U.S. Senate, and that idiot from Wham.
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