So� Tell Me About Your Mother�
I remember when I first qualified for Writers Guild insurance, I was amazed and elated that the mental health coverage was spectacular. I raved about it to a writer-friend, and she laughed. "Of course it is," she said. "Writers are all crazy!"
Made sense to me. I've been on and off a therapist's couch for about ten years now.
Now the obvious response to that would be an incredulous, "Ten years?! Aren't you fixed yet???"
It's a reasonable question. The short answer is no, but the longer answer is that I don't think any of us are ever fixed. (Except maybe those of us who are cats and dogs� but that's something else entirely.) We all have our mishegoss, and for me, working through it and trying to become a better person is an important part of making the most out of life.
I know people who hate the idea of therapy, who find it self-indulgent and useless. Some of it is. If therapy is a place you go to talk about yourself and look for simple validation, that to me is self-indulgent and useless. However, if you're looking at therapy as a weekly catalyst for change, a place to evaluate yourself, challenge your beliefs, and find active ways to improve� to me that's invaluable.
Still, ten years is a little extreme, so I want to clarify that while it's true I've had the same therapist for all that time, I have not seen her every week for the whole decade. I've gone in spurts, anywhere from three to eighteen months. I always start when I'm dealing with something that has me in a mental tailspin, and keep going until I feel like I've reached a new plane of understanding. Then I stop, and have gone as many as 20 months without it. I know it's 20, because my therapist � whom I adore � has a policy that she can't hang with an ex-patient as friends until he or she has been therapy-free for two years. We've promised that when I reach that plateau, we'll have a whole social play-day together.
20 months is the closest I've gotten.
I'm fine with that. I'm a big fan of therapy. Having a great therapist is like having a great mechanic. Whenever I need a psychic tune-up I go back, and by the time I'm done my brain is purring happily and I'm good for several thousand more miles.
I understand therapy isn't for everyone. The benefits I get from therapy are the benefits some people get from religion, or yoga, or Ironman triathlons. I'm all for that � whatever gets you into that space where you can focus on yourself in a kind but critical way, evaluate who and where you are, and take strides towards becoming truer, clearer, and therefore better to yourself and the world around you.
How about you? Are you a therapy person, or do you find clarity in other ways? What works best for you, and what have you tried that didn't work at all?
