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The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance
A Clear and Effective Approach to Learning DBT Skills
First developed for treating borderline personality disorder, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) has proven effective as treatment for a range of other mental health problems, especially for those characterized by overwhelming emotions. Research shows that DBT can improve your ability to handle distress without losing control and acting destructively. In order to make use of these techniques, you need to build skills in four key areas-distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook, a collaborative effort from three esteemed authors, offers straightforward, step-by-step exercises for learning these concepts and putting them to work for real and lasting change. Start by working on the introductory exercises and, after making progress, move on to the advanced-skills chapters. Whether you are a professional or a general reader, whether you use this book to support work done in therapy or as the basis for self-help, you'll benefit from this clear and practical guide to better managing your emotions.
This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit � an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.
First developed for treating borderline personality disorder, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) has proven effective as treatment for a range of other mental health problems, especially for those characterized by overwhelming emotions. Research shows that DBT can improve your ability to handle distress without losing control and acting destructively. In order to make use of these techniques, you need to build skills in four key areas-distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook, a collaborative effort from three esteemed authors, offers straightforward, step-by-step exercises for learning these concepts and putting them to work for real and lasting change. Start by working on the introductory exercises and, after making progress, move on to the advanced-skills chapters. Whether you are a professional or a general reader, whether you use this book to support work done in therapy or as the basis for self-help, you'll benefit from this clear and practical guide to better managing your emotions.
This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit � an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.
241 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2007
2,600 people are currently reading
9,344 people want to read
About the author
Matthew McKay
101Ìýbooks288ÌýfollowersMatthew McKay, PhD, is a professor of psychology at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, and author of more than 30 professional psychology and self-help books which have sold a combined total of more than 3 million copies. He is co-founder of independent self-help publisher, New Harbinger Publications. He was the clinical director of Haight Ashbury Psychological Services in San Francisco for twenty five years. He is current director of the Berkeley CBT Clinic. An accomplished novelist and poet, his poetry has appeared in two volumes from Plum Branch Press and in more than sixty literary magazines. His most recent novel, Wawona Hotel, was
published by Boaz Press in 2008.
published by Boaz Press in 2008.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 201 reviews
January 1, 2020
If I only had read the first chapter of the book, I would have given it more stars. The second chapter is very reliant on religion / spirituality, which is incredibly unhelpful for those of us who are not religious and actually have trauma from religion. Also, as a scientist, I found the misinformation and conflation of scientific information to make is seem magical and divine to be extremely dishonest and disturbing. Upon googling the authors of the book, I discovered that one runs a Christian Leadership program. Religious beliefs should be kept far away from medicine, including Psychiatry and psychology. If this man were my psychiatrist, I would complain to the Department oh Health.
October 8, 2011
I've tried out three DBT self-help books, and this one is by far the best. It's well laid out, easy to understand and very user-friendly. It teaches you mindfulness techniques as well as skills for getting through a crisis, improving mood, and getting your needs met in relationships. I've found these particularly useful for coping with stress.
One of the things I like about this book is it doesn't make any assumptions about the reader, or target a particular mental health problem. DBT was originally developed to treat borderline personality disorder, but this book is equally suitable for people who want to learn DBT skills to tackle other issues.
The other DBT books I've read were by Scott Spradlin and by Thomas Marra. The former is very much aimed at people with BPD, and I couldn't relate to a lot of it. It also goes into a lot of detail on some aspects of DBT, but is sketchy about others. Depressed & Anxious was a very difficult book to understand, and I gave up after one and a half chapters.
So if you're interested in DBT, whatever your diagnosis, in my opinion The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook is the one to try!
One of the things I like about this book is it doesn't make any assumptions about the reader, or target a particular mental health problem. DBT was originally developed to treat borderline personality disorder, but this book is equally suitable for people who want to learn DBT skills to tackle other issues.
The other DBT books I've read were by Scott Spradlin and by Thomas Marra. The former is very much aimed at people with BPD, and I couldn't relate to a lot of it. It also goes into a lot of detail on some aspects of DBT, but is sketchy about others. Depressed & Anxious was a very difficult book to understand, and I gave up after one and a half chapters.
So if you're interested in DBT, whatever your diagnosis, in my opinion The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook is the one to try!
January 25, 2013
As a therapist, I'm always on the lookout for self-help books that I can recommend to clients. In the process, I'm often lucky enough to benefit from the material as well. That absolutely happened with this workbook. The authors do a great job laying out the principles of DBT in clear language accessible to any lay person. The pacing of the book makes it practical. Explanations are interspersed with exercises to put new ideas/behaviors into practice. Examples are given throughout to illustrate the ideas. In particular, I appreciated the explanations and exercises targeting distress tolerance. If you or someone you are close to has a hard time getting over unpleasant emotions OR shuts down whenever emotions show up, this is a great book to explore. The Interpersonal Effectiveness skills might be a little harder to implement on your own but would be a wonderful adjunct to therapy.
April 13, 2012
It seems that many people do NOT want to use great books like this to effect change in their lives that ensure a much higher quality of life. This is not the simplest workbook, but doing it, and then asking your therapist to work on sections where you see you struggle is a heck of a lot better than doing nothing! This workbook is excellent! It works if you work!
July 9, 2018
Life changing
I wish I would have read this 20 years ago. To read again and again, practicing every day the worksheets. Enlightening.
I wish I would have read this 20 years ago. To read again and again, practicing every day the worksheets. Enlightening.
August 28, 2022
Someone told me about Dialectical Behaviour Therapy as I was talking about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and the limitations I felt CBT had. I took out this book from the library as I wanted to learn more about the framework of DBT and wanted to see if there were any practices that could help me in terms of personal growth.
I was rather uncomfortable reading this book. The authors do not say if their clients had severe childhood trauma, however, based on the stories they shared, their clients definitely sound like they had a traumatic childhood. This book is better suited for people with serious emotional problems as there were frequent references of people with cutting tendencies or those who threatened their loved ones by saying they will kill themselves if the loved one didn't meet their demand.
Some people here have commented how the authors reference the concept of spirituality. I do agree that I think the word spirituality has no place in therapy. We need to keep therapy secular. At the end of this book, the authors have an excerpt from their book, "The New Happiness: Practices for Spiritual Growth and Living with Intention." Here they define spirituality as, "living a life based on choices and actions that make you feel more connected with your deepest values." They go on to say that this book, The New Happiness, "defines spirituality as a process of doing rather than a process of believing." I think most people would be ok with this definition, however, we just don't even need to use that word. I mean, if that's what it means to you, sure but for me, living my life according to my values is just that - me living my life. I don't need to call it my spirituality or give it any other label. In Chapter 2 - Advanced Distress Tolerance Skills, they do talk about using a higher power, which is basically having faith in something bigger and more powerful than yourself. They claim that doing so can "make you feel empowered, safe, and calm." They do say a higher power doesn't have to be a god and they suggest on page 45 that you can have a higher power that is someone who can make you feel stronger and more confident, however, I do not think making a human a higher power is a good choice. I can see someone like a cult leader who takes advantage of people and manipulates them. Also I doubt that there is any science backing this claim that we need a higher power.Ìý
This book seems geared for people who have serious trouble with practicing self-restraint and emotional regulation so most of the content just didn't seem relevant for me. I did think Chapter 10 - Advanced Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills had some useful concepts. I thought the section on page 244 "Coping With Resistance and Conflict" was informative. They list 5 conflict management skills and they are:
1. Mutual validation. The authors claim that when people aren't listening to you, one of the common reasons is that they feel invalidated. Validating acknowledging their needs, feelings, and motivations. Depending on the context, some situations are not resolved even if you validate the other person. Humans are complex and many are driven by unconscious feelings that we most likely can never understand or help. All the validation in the world sometimes just doesn't work. It would be nice if the authors acknowledged the limitations of validating others.
2. Broken Record. This is basically repeating yourself and not giving someone ammunition. Examples the authors give are, "I just prefer it" or "That's just how I feel."
3. Probing. This is basically using questions to understand people. The key phrase the authors reference is, "What is it about (name the situation) that bothers you?" I can see this being usful in helping to understand the psychology of others as well since you are making an effort to understand what drives them in life. It seems like it would be useful to use in regular conversation as well as a way to deepen a friendship.
4. Clouding . This involves agreeing to some part of what they say and ignore the rest of the argument. One way is to agree or modify words of exaggeration such as "always" and "never." For example person says, "You never support me when I need something." You can respond by saying, "Yes there have been times when I couldn't completely support what you were asking."
5. Assertive Delay . Involves saying that you need time to think before you make a decision.
Chapter 1 - Basic Distress Tolerance Skills talks about using radical self-acceptance as a way to minimize self-destructive behaviours and to increase your distress tolerance skills. They have a list of pleasurable activities that people can engage in such as joining a public speaking group or take photographs. They advise using distraction, which I think is a good point since typically we think being distracted is a bad thing, however, we can use it constructively, especially in times when we are feeling volatile. For example, we can distract ourselves by leaving the situation or by doing tasks and chores. They end with talking about how to self-soothe and they reference the 5 senses as ways we can soothe ourselves such as looking at pictures we find comforting or by touching our pets. In Chapter 2 - Advanced Distress Tolerance Skills, they continue to discuss other techniques for managing stress and that includes visualizing a safe place or having a cue word. When they referenced having a cue word, I couldn't help but think of Frank Costanza's use of the phrase, "Serenity Now!" for when he was experiencing anger.Ìý
My only problem with this book is that I don't think they understand that people with these types of severe emotional problems probably have bodies that are highly stressed and in a constant state of vigilance. They just don't know how to relax on a physical level and so that impacts their daily interactions with people. They can become this way due to various traumas such as abuse in childhood, being in an accident, etc. I've done reading on trauma and read that our nervous system needs to relax and that the behaviours people engage in because they think are relaxing, are actually not relaxing for their body and continues to keep their nervous system on high alert. I found the books "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma," and "Overcoming Depression" by Paul Gilbert to be helpful in understanding this idea. It's like the authors aren't asking themselves what is the cause that drives their clients to be so volatile and that to me is what is lacking in this book. I don't know if it's a lack in theÌýbook or a lack in the framework of DBT. They do reference a technique in chapter 2 page 59 called Feelings-Threat Balance (FTB-Cope) where you assess the level of the threat versus the strength of your feelings. They also reference using self-compassion and mindfulness, however, I just think they don't getÌýthe biology aspect.
Overall I thought this book was ok. I think it's probably best suited for those who are working with a psychiatrist on their issues and have serious emotional issues.Ìý
I was rather uncomfortable reading this book. The authors do not say if their clients had severe childhood trauma, however, based on the stories they shared, their clients definitely sound like they had a traumatic childhood. This book is better suited for people with serious emotional problems as there were frequent references of people with cutting tendencies or those who threatened their loved ones by saying they will kill themselves if the loved one didn't meet their demand.
Some people here have commented how the authors reference the concept of spirituality. I do agree that I think the word spirituality has no place in therapy. We need to keep therapy secular. At the end of this book, the authors have an excerpt from their book, "The New Happiness: Practices for Spiritual Growth and Living with Intention." Here they define spirituality as, "living a life based on choices and actions that make you feel more connected with your deepest values." They go on to say that this book, The New Happiness, "defines spirituality as a process of doing rather than a process of believing." I think most people would be ok with this definition, however, we just don't even need to use that word. I mean, if that's what it means to you, sure but for me, living my life according to my values is just that - me living my life. I don't need to call it my spirituality or give it any other label. In Chapter 2 - Advanced Distress Tolerance Skills, they do talk about using a higher power, which is basically having faith in something bigger and more powerful than yourself. They claim that doing so can "make you feel empowered, safe, and calm." They do say a higher power doesn't have to be a god and they suggest on page 45 that you can have a higher power that is someone who can make you feel stronger and more confident, however, I do not think making a human a higher power is a good choice. I can see someone like a cult leader who takes advantage of people and manipulates them. Also I doubt that there is any science backing this claim that we need a higher power.Ìý
This book seems geared for people who have serious trouble with practicing self-restraint and emotional regulation so most of the content just didn't seem relevant for me. I did think Chapter 10 - Advanced Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills had some useful concepts. I thought the section on page 244 "Coping With Resistance and Conflict" was informative. They list 5 conflict management skills and they are:
1. Mutual validation. The authors claim that when people aren't listening to you, one of the common reasons is that they feel invalidated. Validating acknowledging their needs, feelings, and motivations. Depending on the context, some situations are not resolved even if you validate the other person. Humans are complex and many are driven by unconscious feelings that we most likely can never understand or help. All the validation in the world sometimes just doesn't work. It would be nice if the authors acknowledged the limitations of validating others.
2. Broken Record. This is basically repeating yourself and not giving someone ammunition. Examples the authors give are, "I just prefer it" or "That's just how I feel."
3. Probing. This is basically using questions to understand people. The key phrase the authors reference is, "What is it about (name the situation) that bothers you?" I can see this being usful in helping to understand the psychology of others as well since you are making an effort to understand what drives them in life. It seems like it would be useful to use in regular conversation as well as a way to deepen a friendship.
4. Clouding . This involves agreeing to some part of what they say and ignore the rest of the argument. One way is to agree or modify words of exaggeration such as "always" and "never." For example person says, "You never support me when I need something." You can respond by saying, "Yes there have been times when I couldn't completely support what you were asking."
5. Assertive Delay . Involves saying that you need time to think before you make a decision.
Chapter 1 - Basic Distress Tolerance Skills talks about using radical self-acceptance as a way to minimize self-destructive behaviours and to increase your distress tolerance skills. They have a list of pleasurable activities that people can engage in such as joining a public speaking group or take photographs. They advise using distraction, which I think is a good point since typically we think being distracted is a bad thing, however, we can use it constructively, especially in times when we are feeling volatile. For example, we can distract ourselves by leaving the situation or by doing tasks and chores. They end with talking about how to self-soothe and they reference the 5 senses as ways we can soothe ourselves such as looking at pictures we find comforting or by touching our pets. In Chapter 2 - Advanced Distress Tolerance Skills, they continue to discuss other techniques for managing stress and that includes visualizing a safe place or having a cue word. When they referenced having a cue word, I couldn't help but think of Frank Costanza's use of the phrase, "Serenity Now!" for when he was experiencing anger.Ìý
My only problem with this book is that I don't think they understand that people with these types of severe emotional problems probably have bodies that are highly stressed and in a constant state of vigilance. They just don't know how to relax on a physical level and so that impacts their daily interactions with people. They can become this way due to various traumas such as abuse in childhood, being in an accident, etc. I've done reading on trauma and read that our nervous system needs to relax and that the behaviours people engage in because they think are relaxing, are actually not relaxing for their body and continues to keep their nervous system on high alert. I found the books "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma," and "Overcoming Depression" by Paul Gilbert to be helpful in understanding this idea. It's like the authors aren't asking themselves what is the cause that drives their clients to be so volatile and that to me is what is lacking in this book. I don't know if it's a lack in theÌýbook or a lack in the framework of DBT. They do reference a technique in chapter 2 page 59 called Feelings-Threat Balance (FTB-Cope) where you assess the level of the threat versus the strength of your feelings. They also reference using self-compassion and mindfulness, however, I just think they don't getÌýthe biology aspect.
Overall I thought this book was ok. I think it's probably best suited for those who are working with a psychiatrist on their issues and have serious emotional issues.Ìý
June 10, 2017
This one was a lot of work! I feel like I should get some college credits for this. But it was also very helpful. I feel like I have gotten better at practicing mindfulness to calm myself from panic attacks and other scary situations. And I have learned better to remember to be mindful in the first place. Very helpful book!
January 9, 2018
Amazing workbook! Everything is well laid out and arranged. Subjects are very well explained. The exercises are easy to follow but really make you dive into yourself. The book has helped me be more present in the "now" and to be much more mindful of my actions, my surroundings and my emotions and reactions. I would definitely recommend this workbook to anyone needing DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) help.
June 4, 2021
Wow. This was terrible. This might be helpful for someone very young, or...or...someone who doesn’t read? I don’t know. Everything in here is just super basic. The “mindfulness� crap is ridiculous. I should take deep breaths? No shit, for reals?
I think, at this point in my life, I’ve done so much inner work on my own that books like this just make me roll my eyes. I’ve apparently been doing DBT for years; I was just thinking of it as, like, journaling a lot, doing yoga, and trying to be less of a bitch in general. So, you know, maybe try that before trying this stupid book.
I think, at this point in my life, I’ve done so much inner work on my own that books like this just make me roll my eyes. I’ve apparently been doing DBT for years; I was just thinking of it as, like, journaling a lot, doing yoga, and trying to be less of a bitch in general. So, you know, maybe try that before trying this stupid book.
March 25, 2015
Well worth the read for those wishing to develop their emotional intelligence, and learn news skills to help you cope with difficult interactions and relationships. Whether you have low emotional intelligence (EQ), borderline autistic tendencies, or suffer from anger, anxiety-depression, or other difficult emotions; you will find value in this book.
The book is divided into four main sections that initially introduce you to, then further explore skills for; distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness. This is a “how to manual� full of great insight, knowledge, and practical skills exercises which really do make a difference � if you do the work!
This is an information dense book, and if you are serious then you will likely need to keep reading it for it to more fully sink in (or is that just my limitation!!?). This is a lifelong journey and this book your companion if you need to rebalance your IQ : EQ balance and work on your interpersonal effectiveness skills. There’s no easy way out, and the work needs to be done! This is a very helpful book in my view - and a one which sat on my bookshelf for many years until the time was right.
The book is divided into four main sections that initially introduce you to, then further explore skills for; distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness. This is a “how to manual� full of great insight, knowledge, and practical skills exercises which really do make a difference � if you do the work!
This is an information dense book, and if you are serious then you will likely need to keep reading it for it to more fully sink in (or is that just my limitation!!?). This is a lifelong journey and this book your companion if you need to rebalance your IQ : EQ balance and work on your interpersonal effectiveness skills. There’s no easy way out, and the work needs to be done! This is a very helpful book in my view - and a one which sat on my bookshelf for many years until the time was right.
February 16, 2022
Marsha Linehan created DBT from the perspective of a person who has struggled with mental illness and found ways to heal herself. Although DBT can be rigorous and even rigid, I've always appreciated how Marsha firmly indicates that the standard American family situation exacerbates temperamental sensitivity and trauma responses. In other words, she decreases the blame and stigma placed on individuals with BPD (who inherit the legacy of hysterical women!). DBT is at its best, IMHO, when it is For Us, By Us, to cite the iconic Black-owned hip hop clothing company. I know that DBT is For Everybody, however, I am honestly suspicious of a book on DBT written by three men. Do they have BPD? What brought them to this work? I only trust DBT providers who use their own experiences; this does not happen in this book and for that reason there are times that this book can be condescending.
May 12, 2022
Read this on Suman's recommendation. Important to note that I did these exercises outside the context of therapy. I found them to be really valuable - while the content was not earth-shattering, working through them one by one was more challenging than expected, and I plan to return to this workbook regularly as I work to improve my mindfulness, emotional regulation, and relationships. I'd recommend that anyone give it a try.
October 8, 2020
Lots of exercises, but nothing new fundamentally. It offers hardly any explanation or theory.
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I read the whole book again. It's more like a comprehensive therapy system, the core of it is mindfulness, with some additional communication techniques, Not very different from ACT.
In terms of mindfulness, better to learn mindfulness directly from other sources.
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I read the whole book again. It's more like a comprehensive therapy system, the core of it is mindfulness, with some additional communication techniques, Not very different from ACT.
In terms of mindfulness, better to learn mindfulness directly from other sources.
March 24, 2023
This was a slog. I read it hoping to have an introduction to DBT. I came away with strategy overload and feeling bored and frustrated. 2 stars because I suspect it’s meant to be used as part of therapy and that likely would have made it easier to stick to and follow.
June 16, 2020
C'est un bon livre facile à lire et bien organisé. Il représente une bonne initiation à la thérapie comportementale et dialectique.
July 11, 2022
Amazing clinical resource! Filled with a great amount of interventions and research to support the DBT theory (particularly with trauma).
May 19, 2019
So, I tend to be wary of self-help books, because although comforting to read, the information rarely sticks in my mind. For that to happen, you need to incorporate it into your daily routine or actively change your behaviour. Too many self-help books merely try changing your mindset, which isn't enough. Anyway, when I first discovered this book, I'd never heard of DBT before. I was intrigued and curious about it, especially when it seemed like something that could potentially be highly beneficial for me. I thought that even if it wouldn't be, it'd still be interesting to learn about since psychology as a topic interests me. The fact that this is a workbook also gave me some hope that it might be easier to implement its ideas into my life.
I quickly learned DBT was originally designed to treat or help people with BPD cope. I'm not personally diagnosed with BPD but I do suffer from a series of other mental health issues including anxiety, depression and autism, although I occasionally have BPD tendencies. This book hardly speaks of BPD though, but instead uses the term "overwhelming emotions". I found that very inclusive because after having read it, I definitely see how DBT, or at least parts of it, could be beneficial to a much wider range of people.
My immediate opinion is that I really, really enjoyed the experience of this workbook. Is it perfect? Definitely not. I even considered giving it 3 stars, but thought, after all, it deserved more because of how helpful it is and I'd strongly recommend it to anyone considering buying it. However, my three main issues with it were 1. the writing (which was too dry, repetitive and tedious for my liking), 2. how heavily it relied on exercises instead of explaining the concepts more thoroughly and how to use them in your day-to-day life, and 3. the layout. It jumped around a lot and the order was confusing and irritating. Personally, I also think mindfulness should have been the first chapter. But oh well...
On the upside, this book is full of positive insight, practical ways to cope with distress short-termed and long-termed, how to be more mindful in terms of your thoughts and emotions, and lastly, how to deal with pain and conflict in relationships. Everything it preaches comes from a pretty empathetic place, both in regards to yourself and others, which urges the reader to ideally become more "emotionally intelligent". Also, the terms "wise mind" and "radical acceptance" were both new to me, and I found them incredibly enlightening, so I'll hopefully keep remembering and using them.
I'll probably have to take re-skim the entirety of it and create notes for myself in order to not forget everything it taught me but that's okay. I'd imagine that ideally, it's more effective to use in a therapy setting, but if you for whatever reason can't attend therapy, this is for sure better than nothing!
Also worth noting: When I began reading this book and doing the exercises (not all but shh), which is only a few weeks ago, I was in an extremely bad place. I feel a lot better already and I'll give this book credit for helping me out quite a bit!
I quickly learned DBT was originally designed to treat or help people with BPD cope. I'm not personally diagnosed with BPD but I do suffer from a series of other mental health issues including anxiety, depression and autism, although I occasionally have BPD tendencies. This book hardly speaks of BPD though, but instead uses the term "overwhelming emotions". I found that very inclusive because after having read it, I definitely see how DBT, or at least parts of it, could be beneficial to a much wider range of people.
My immediate opinion is that I really, really enjoyed the experience of this workbook. Is it perfect? Definitely not. I even considered giving it 3 stars, but thought, after all, it deserved more because of how helpful it is and I'd strongly recommend it to anyone considering buying it. However, my three main issues with it were 1. the writing (which was too dry, repetitive and tedious for my liking), 2. how heavily it relied on exercises instead of explaining the concepts more thoroughly and how to use them in your day-to-day life, and 3. the layout. It jumped around a lot and the order was confusing and irritating. Personally, I also think mindfulness should have been the first chapter. But oh well...
On the upside, this book is full of positive insight, practical ways to cope with distress short-termed and long-termed, how to be more mindful in terms of your thoughts and emotions, and lastly, how to deal with pain and conflict in relationships. Everything it preaches comes from a pretty empathetic place, both in regards to yourself and others, which urges the reader to ideally become more "emotionally intelligent". Also, the terms "wise mind" and "radical acceptance" were both new to me, and I found them incredibly enlightening, so I'll hopefully keep remembering and using them.
I'll probably have to take re-skim the entirety of it and create notes for myself in order to not forget everything it taught me but that's okay. I'd imagine that ideally, it's more effective to use in a therapy setting, but if you for whatever reason can't attend therapy, this is for sure better than nothing!
Also worth noting: When I began reading this book and doing the exercises (not all but shh), which is only a few weeks ago, I was in an extremely bad place. I feel a lot better already and I'll give this book credit for helping me out quite a bit!
December 20, 2019
I'm a social worker who has struggled to get on board with DBT for a number of years. It was always explained in a way that felt confusing, overly complicated for clients, and that would require memorization of too many acronyms. I've known that DBT is a popular treatment modality and that certain clients respond well to it, but I was about to give up trying to understand it.
This is the first book that has presented DBT in a way that I can get on board with. I don't know how well the workbook goes without participating in group or individual therapy because it still seems a bit complicated, but in the proper setting I think this book can be a good tool, especially for those who like lists, homework, and concrete things to take away from therapy.
What I liked about the book:
1) It's direct, nothing is sugar coated and people need to hear this stuff
2) It touches on the main points for people who are really struggling (distress tolerance, mindfulness/acceptance/understanding, and interpersonal effectiveness/social skills).
3) The examples used in the book are diverse making it easy for many people to relate
What I don't like about the book:
1) It's not a stand alone book to be used on your own - a therapist is needed to work through many of these things such as suicidal behaviors
2) The mindfulness chapters are too drawn out and repetitive
This is the first book that has presented DBT in a way that I can get on board with. I don't know how well the workbook goes without participating in group or individual therapy because it still seems a bit complicated, but in the proper setting I think this book can be a good tool, especially for those who like lists, homework, and concrete things to take away from therapy.
What I liked about the book:
1) It's direct, nothing is sugar coated and people need to hear this stuff
2) It touches on the main points for people who are really struggling (distress tolerance, mindfulness/acceptance/understanding, and interpersonal effectiveness/social skills).
3) The examples used in the book are diverse making it easy for many people to relate
What I don't like about the book:
1) It's not a stand alone book to be used on your own - a therapist is needed to work through many of these things such as suicidal behaviors
2) The mindfulness chapters are too drawn out and repetitive
January 7, 2016
If it's DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) and you suffer from anxiety, depression, bipolar, addiction etc Get this books. If you learn your coping skills, and emotion regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal relation....
This book and DBT which is a form of cognitive behavioral therapy WILL help you.
This book and DBT which is a form of cognitive behavioral therapy WILL help you.
Read
November 4, 2019I recently did a DBT intensive outpatient program (IOP), but I actually started in a CBT group so I didn't do the entire course of the DBT program. The book has a lot of worksheets, which is basically what I wanted and one of the things I liked most about the IOP, so I'm slowly going to work through the old skills again and the new ones I missed.
May 4, 2014
Fantastic book on how to get mindful, communicate better and get out of your head and the victim mentality.
August 17, 2022
Je n'imagine plus ma vie sans lui... Ce livre/carnet m'a tant aidée et m'aide tellement. Je peux même dire qu'il me sauve la vie.
Si vous avez des problèmes de santé mentale, des troubles de la personnalité... Je recommande x1000.
Si vous avez des problèmes de santé mentale, des troubles de la personnalité... Je recommande x1000.
March 2, 2019
Good techniques, but seems similar to CBT in many ways. Would like to know more about radical acceptance and mindfulness.
January 4, 2023
I found the workbook extremely informative and easy to use. There are several exercises that I’m sure I will come back to for personal use or to recommend to clients:)
Want to read
August 28, 2024shut up it f***ing counts
October 3, 2023
Highly recommend for anyone who wants to have greater mastery over their emotions and behaviors. An excellent supplement to therapy.
May 1, 2020
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley is a self-help workbook that covers the major skills involved in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).
DBT is considered the gold standard for the treatment of borderline personality disorder, but its usefulness is not limited to people with BPD. DBT is very skills-based, and many of the skills are quite broadly applicable.
The introduction of this book indicates that it’s written both for people who are already doing DBT as well as people with no background in DBT but are struggling with overwhelming emotions. For people who are familiar with DBT, you’ll notice that this book doesn’t make a lot of use of the common acronyms for groups of skills; for example, while ABC PLEASE is described, that acronym isn’t used.
The book takes a very matter of fact tone, and provides clear explanations. It is very much a workbook, with written exercises interspersed frequently throughout. The worksheets are laid out simply and easy to follow, and there are lots of thought-provoking questions.
The book is divided into four sections based on the major DBT modules: distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. Each section is further divided into basic and advanced skills.
For each strategy, there are multiple different ideas suggested for implementation, so even if some ideas don’t work for you there are plenty of others to try.
Some highlights of what’s covered:
pleasurable distractions (with a 2-page list of over 100 suggestions)
self-soothing for each of the senses
radical acceptance and nonjudgmental attitude
describing and facing emotions, plus explanations regarding how emotions work
wise mind
how maladaptive behaviors (like cutting) can get reinforced because of short-term rewards
opposite action (whatever your emotional urge is telling you to do, do the opposite)
effective interpersonal communication skills
using assertiveness scripts
saying no
The book also talks about coping thoughts and self-affirming statements, and these are realistic � there’s no delving into rainbows and unicorns territory.
While people with borderline personality disorder would likely get the most benefit from doing formal DBT, DBT in self-help form could have a lot to offer for people with other diagnoses struggling with their emotions. This workbook offers clear explanations and plenty of exercises for the reader to do, so I think it would be suitable for people with no knowledge of DBT.
The tone of the writing is not especially engaging, but it’s neutral and non-judgmental, even when talking about fairly charged topics like manipulative behavior.
Overall, I would say this book is a good choice if you want to give DBT a try.
This review first appeared on
DBT is considered the gold standard for the treatment of borderline personality disorder, but its usefulness is not limited to people with BPD. DBT is very skills-based, and many of the skills are quite broadly applicable.
The introduction of this book indicates that it’s written both for people who are already doing DBT as well as people with no background in DBT but are struggling with overwhelming emotions. For people who are familiar with DBT, you’ll notice that this book doesn’t make a lot of use of the common acronyms for groups of skills; for example, while ABC PLEASE is described, that acronym isn’t used.
The book takes a very matter of fact tone, and provides clear explanations. It is very much a workbook, with written exercises interspersed frequently throughout. The worksheets are laid out simply and easy to follow, and there are lots of thought-provoking questions.
The book is divided into four sections based on the major DBT modules: distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. Each section is further divided into basic and advanced skills.
For each strategy, there are multiple different ideas suggested for implementation, so even if some ideas don’t work for you there are plenty of others to try.
Some highlights of what’s covered:
pleasurable distractions (with a 2-page list of over 100 suggestions)
self-soothing for each of the senses
radical acceptance and nonjudgmental attitude
describing and facing emotions, plus explanations regarding how emotions work
wise mind
how maladaptive behaviors (like cutting) can get reinforced because of short-term rewards
opposite action (whatever your emotional urge is telling you to do, do the opposite)
effective interpersonal communication skills
using assertiveness scripts
saying no
The book also talks about coping thoughts and self-affirming statements, and these are realistic � there’s no delving into rainbows and unicorns territory.
While people with borderline personality disorder would likely get the most benefit from doing formal DBT, DBT in self-help form could have a lot to offer for people with other diagnoses struggling with their emotions. This workbook offers clear explanations and plenty of exercises for the reader to do, so I think it would be suitable for people with no knowledge of DBT.
The tone of the writing is not especially engaging, but it’s neutral and non-judgmental, even when talking about fairly charged topics like manipulative behavior.
Overall, I would say this book is a good choice if you want to give DBT a try.
This review first appeared on
August 18, 2022
Overall, I think this book is good if you're starting out on your journey with mental health and wanting to get better.
I am a veteran when it comes to therapy and there a few things in this book I was not comfortable with.
Although it is not said, DBT is the recommended treatment for those diagnosed with BPD / EUPD. As someone who is living with this diagnosis, there are a few suggestions in this book that I think were reckless.
First, on the subject of distractions, the author recommends creating a sexual fantasy about someone you are attracted to/desire. This is really reckless to me. With BPD / EUPD it is incredibly easy to build up an attachment towards a person and designate them your 'favourite person'. The danger of repeatedly distracting yourself with sexual thoughts about someone who is unavailable is that it will lead to being hurt. That individual may reject you or not live up to your expectations that you've built up in your mind. So yeah, reckless.
Another part of the book discusses manipulative behaviour. A common stigma against those with BPD / EUPD is that we are manipulative. We're not, but the author implies that we are in quite a condescending manor. The example is: two people in a relationship, one is hurt/ feels rejected so tells the other one they will kill themselves. Those with BPD / EUPD struggle to communicate their needs. Most of the people who say they'll kill themselves, and actually will act on that, are not being manipulative, there are just struggling to communicate. So don't paint everyone with the same brush.
Some of the scenarios were inappropriate. One of them was that you had been billed for a repair on your car that you did not authorize. The book presents an option of what to say to be assertive; you thank them for the work and say you appreciate their concern. However you're on a tight budget and (direct quote)
"safety isn't my highest concern right now". So a major symptom of BPD / EUPD is impulsive behaviours and RISK TAKING!! So I think it's pretty stupid to suggest to say that your safety isn't your highest concern.
This book was copyrighted in 2007. I feel that the information is outdated and inappropriate for todays lifestyle and demands.
There are a lot of resources in this book, however there is an overwhelming amount that it asks you to do. The author uses a lot of should and musts, which isn't healthy. Everyone's journey is different and personal to them. What works for some people won't work for others. Go at your own pace and select what works for you. And there is no rush.
I am a veteran when it comes to therapy and there a few things in this book I was not comfortable with.
Although it is not said, DBT is the recommended treatment for those diagnosed with BPD / EUPD. As someone who is living with this diagnosis, there are a few suggestions in this book that I think were reckless.
First, on the subject of distractions, the author recommends creating a sexual fantasy about someone you are attracted to/desire. This is really reckless to me. With BPD / EUPD it is incredibly easy to build up an attachment towards a person and designate them your 'favourite person'. The danger of repeatedly distracting yourself with sexual thoughts about someone who is unavailable is that it will lead to being hurt. That individual may reject you or not live up to your expectations that you've built up in your mind. So yeah, reckless.
Another part of the book discusses manipulative behaviour. A common stigma against those with BPD / EUPD is that we are manipulative. We're not, but the author implies that we are in quite a condescending manor. The example is: two people in a relationship, one is hurt/ feels rejected so tells the other one they will kill themselves. Those with BPD / EUPD struggle to communicate their needs. Most of the people who say they'll kill themselves, and actually will act on that, are not being manipulative, there are just struggling to communicate. So don't paint everyone with the same brush.
Some of the scenarios were inappropriate. One of them was that you had been billed for a repair on your car that you did not authorize. The book presents an option of what to say to be assertive; you thank them for the work and say you appreciate their concern. However you're on a tight budget and (direct quote)
"safety isn't my highest concern right now". So a major symptom of BPD / EUPD is impulsive behaviours and RISK TAKING!! So I think it's pretty stupid to suggest to say that your safety isn't your highest concern.
This book was copyrighted in 2007. I feel that the information is outdated and inappropriate for todays lifestyle and demands.
There are a lot of resources in this book, however there is an overwhelming amount that it asks you to do. The author uses a lot of should and musts, which isn't healthy. Everyone's journey is different and personal to them. What works for some people won't work for others. Go at your own pace and select what works for you. And there is no rush.
April 11, 2019
Lately I’ve been studying the principles and practices of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. DBT is an innovative new approach that is proving itself to be one of the most effective forms of therapy for people with emotion regulation issues and even extreme personality disorders.
One thing I’ve noticed about DBT is that it teaches all the psychological tools most of us failed to receive as children, such as mindfulness, radical acceptance, and various conflict resolution skills. In effect, therapists are attempting to provide as a corrective measure what was lacking as a preventative measure when their clients were young.
Of course there is always more to the story when it comes to individual cases, so don’t take this reductionist observation too far. In general, however, I think it holds true. It supports my conviction about the all-importance of a healthy, nurturing childhood, and how society forces itself to play catch-up later on with many destructive patterns of human behavior all because we dropped the ball when our kids were young.
So my hat goes off to the creators and practitioners of DBT, CBT, and every other form of cognitive and behavioral therapy that is helping people find relief from their troubles. Whole-hearted living is hard work at any stage of life. But it’s so much harder on the back end than the front. We parents need to step up our game, first by dealing with our own issues and then by providing our kids with the tools they need to cope with the unavoidable stress of life in healthy, transformative ways.
At any rate, this is an excellent workbook for people of any age. I’ll be using it myself and getting a few copies to share with friends.
One thing I’ve noticed about DBT is that it teaches all the psychological tools most of us failed to receive as children, such as mindfulness, radical acceptance, and various conflict resolution skills. In effect, therapists are attempting to provide as a corrective measure what was lacking as a preventative measure when their clients were young.
Of course there is always more to the story when it comes to individual cases, so don’t take this reductionist observation too far. In general, however, I think it holds true. It supports my conviction about the all-importance of a healthy, nurturing childhood, and how society forces itself to play catch-up later on with many destructive patterns of human behavior all because we dropped the ball when our kids were young.
So my hat goes off to the creators and practitioners of DBT, CBT, and every other form of cognitive and behavioral therapy that is helping people find relief from their troubles. Whole-hearted living is hard work at any stage of life. But it’s so much harder on the back end than the front. We parents need to step up our game, first by dealing with our own issues and then by providing our kids with the tools they need to cope with the unavoidable stress of life in healthy, transformative ways.
At any rate, this is an excellent workbook for people of any age. I’ll be using it myself and getting a few copies to share with friends.
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