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“People with a style of denial and blaming are definitely on the list of unsafe people to avoid.”
― Henry Cloud, Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't

“Staying in an unhealthy relationship that robs you of peace of mind, is not being loyal. It is choosing to hurt yourself mentally, emotionally and sometimes, physically.”
― Kemi Sogunle, Beyond the Pain by Kemi Sogunle

“Healthy people understand that others have the capacity to choose to end relationships and it serves as motivation for them to learn to relate in healthy and loving ways. However, when we are driven by shame, we don't just fear losing a relationship, but we live in terror that if we let anyone really get to know us, we would never be desired, pursued, or loved. In us, that fear can be worked out in the development of unhealthy denial, workaholism, perfectionism, chameleon-type behavior, and sadly, even revictimization... When we live in denial or present a false self out of fear... we will do anything to be accepted by people... When we begin to tell the truth about what happened to us we also begin the process of turning about from this type of idolatry... When we begin to tear away our layers of illegitimate shame... When our own vision is not distorted by our shame we can discern what was our responsibility and what wasn't.”
― Wendy Mahill, Growing a Passionate Heart

“How could I ever have considered marrying him? One year as his wife, and I'd have become one of those abject, quaking women who look at their husbands when someone asks them a question. I've always despised that type, but I see how it happens now.”
― Mary Ann Shaffer, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

“Woe to the deer who is courted by the charismatic wolf, or to the fly who is not immune to the sweet, sultry songs of the spider.”
― Nenia Campbell, Bleeds My Desire

“Tell me, is there someone in your life who's been sharing your life too closely? A friend or a loved one? Is there someone who's been taking up your time and not giving any of it back?”
― Alexandra Kleeman, You Too Can Have a Body Like Mine

“It’s sad to see how many relationships start as just a distraction from boredom, a cover up so they don’t have to ever deal with the true pain below”
― Evan Sutter, Solitude: How Doing Nothing Can Change the World

“From what I've seen, love isn't about mutual respect. It's more concerns with control than sacrifice. And I wonder whether it's better or worse when love finally walks away.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Perfect

“As I was growing up, no one in my family got their needs met through respectful negotiation and compromise.”
― Olga Trujillo, The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder

“That was a very big part of our relationship. Making sure Nicky felt okay. That he was happy, making sure he was having a good time.”
― Taylor Jenkins Reid, Daisy Jones & The Six

“I had loved JP in all of the ways that it’s unwise to love another person. Dido on the pyre. Antony in Alexandria. Bitch in heat.”
― Abigail Dean, Girl A

“Friends do not cast shade in order to shine. Remember that. I used to put up with my closest friends throwing shade all the time, because, I WANTED THEM TO SHINE. But then I learned that when you give other people the space to shine at your own expense, you're slowly committing suicide. True friends mutually desire the other to shine without the need to cast shade or throw the other under a bus.”
― C. JoyBell C.

“Just say NO to complicated, dead-end, unhealthy, and toxic relationships.”
― Stephanie Lahart

“Critical thinking is a threat to unhealthy systems, and questions make people think.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships

“Remember the nature of knowing insider information. It's like a drug. It makes you feel both superior and special. But what if those rumors are false? And even if they are true, you didn't experience them firsthand, and there is most likely a slant to the story you know nothing about.”
― Mary E. DeMuth, The Seven Deadly Friendships: How to Heal When Painful Relationships Eat Away at Your Joy

“Passion is always a mystery and unaccountable, and unfortunately there is no doubt that life does not spare its purest children and often it is just the most deserving people who cannot help loving those who destroy them.”
― Hermann Hesse, Gertrude

“Oliver, it transpired, was addicted to alcohol and cocaine, and Gabriel was addicted primarily to Oliver; then, as an inevitable accompaniment, to Oliver’s own addictions, at first for Oliver’s approval, and later â€� as tended to be the case â€� because he couldn’t stop doing them.”
― Abigail Dean, Girl A

“When you get to be my age, you gain a heightened awareness of time . . . how limited it is, and you tend to move toward social interactions that are meaningful and away from negative, trivial people who are downright toxic.”
― Sarah Jo Smith, The Other Side of Heartache

“Unhealthy relationships keep our self-esteem low.”
― Sam Owen

“This feeling of lessening disturbance, coming from within myself, unexpected, was profoundly disturbing. As I sat still, growing less and less alarmed by the situation, I knew that I had to move fast, as fast and as far as I could within this small, cramped house.”
― Alexandra Kleeman, Intimations: Stories

“It was a relationship between a young, inexperienced girl and an older man used to getting what he wanted. He'd come to her when she was vulnerable and convinced her that he was the only one who cared about her, and she'd believed him. And he did care about her, but he cared about himself a whole lot more.”
― Emily Poirier, Vampires Don't Need an Invitation

“The people around you are mirrors, I think to myself. The dog is paddling in the lake, I watch her lap at the water. You see yourself reflected in their eyes. If the mirror is true and smooth, you see your true self. That's how you learn who you are. And you might be a different person to different people, but it's all feedback that you need, in order to know yourself. But if the mirror is broken or cracked or warped, I continue, taking another drag, then the reflection is not true, and you start to believe that you are this bad reflection. When I look in Courtney's eyes, I see a crazy, overbearing woman, with unbearable good fortune, who is trying to ruin him. I pause. I love him, but he hates me, that is what I see. I will have to tell Courtney to leave. I can't live with him anymore.”
― Caitlin Moran, How to Be a Woman

“Pity, I would have called it, but it wasn’t pity. It was something far scarier and more destabilizing, something I would never let myself name so long as I needed to feel superior to their pain.”
― Alex McElroy, The Atmospherians

“If a person disregards your feelings, ignores your needs and treats you in a damaging way, distance yourself.”
― Dr. Amaya Sharma

“The social and cultural preference for marriage has obvious negative effects for single people, but it also harms the married. A desire to retain marriage's preferential status is on of the most cited explanations for why people remain in unhappy marriages.”
― Marcia A. Zug, You'll Do: A History of Marrying for Reasons Other Than Love

“So you miss her. Easy to miss someone and love them and know they’re an evil bitch all the same.”
― Eleanor Wasserberg, Foxlowe

“Negative people can be like emotional black holes, sucking the joy out of any room they enter. It's like trying to have a picnic in a thunderstorm â€� not exactly a recipe for fun. So, instead of getting caught up in their storm of negativity, why not bask in the sunshine of positivity elsewhere? Surround yourself with people who radiate good vibes and uplift your spirits. Life's too short to dwell in pessimism when you could be dancing in the sunlight of optimism.”
― Life is Positive

“Our relationship was now more duty than dream, our love the kind bound by codependence, necessity, and obsession.”
― Karie Fugett, Alive Day: A Memoir

“In my head, Eugenia's words repeat on a loop: We don't give our unconditional love to the things that hurt us. "I have loved this company with my whole heart, the whole time," I go on. "It has saved me, and healed me, and broken me in half. I've given the employees and the customers all I can. And now I just don't know if I have anything left to give." ...

... "I loved my CEO classes. I love the people I work with, and I love the work, too. But lately, it hasn't been loving me, my body, my mind. I'm not showing up as my best anymore,

”
― Clare Gilmore, Perfect Fit