I literally can't. My head just exploded. This gets my Worst Book of 2017 award. Me, when I finished:
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When people tell me this is a great[image]
I literally can't. My head just exploded. This gets my Worst Book of 2017 award. Me, when I finished:
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When people tell me this is a great book with a great love:
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What is remotely redeeming in the MC? What? She does everything anyone tells her to do. Literally everything. This entire book is people telling her to do shit and she does them, regardless of what. And I mean that in every sense of the word. This woman would jump off a building if someone told her to.
Father wants her to kill herself? 'Yup! Alrighty then!'
Random guy comes up to her and says he wants to give her the moon and stars to weave in her hair? She's all like 'SOLD!' and marries him on the spot.
She sees this random person in a mirror that she's never talked to before and this person tells her to destroy this other person because he wants to kill her. This guy hasn't done anything harmful to her and yet she goes along with it. She's like 'yup! alrighty then!'
Gets in fight with hubby and hubby says in the argument 'you're free to leave anytime' and she says 'alrighty then!' and literally dissolves herself.
And all this shit about her feelings. She does all this because it feels "right". Random weirdo you've never met before tells you to destroy someone and you don't even pause to consider it because it feels right? WHAT?
I just can't even. All the other plot issues pale in comparison to this fucking idiot....more
I gave this a shot. I don't know if it was just me or what but I didn't like it. The constant thinking about sex-sex-sex just wigged me out after a whI gave this a shot. I don't know if it was just me or what but I didn't like it. The constant thinking about sex-sex-sex just wigged me out after a while.
I don't want to sound like a prude bu,t JFC, that's all she thought of. It was sex, food, and complaining. But mostly sex. Like she's spoken maybe two or three sentences to a man and she's thinking 'I don't like my men to have beards but I'd love to see that beard between my legs' type thing ALL THE TIME. Any time he bends over, it's all about his ass.
There's just so much NO going on that I need at add:
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So, the bad (it's all bad):
1) Relationship - WhMy reaction when finishing this book:
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There's just so much NO going on that I need at add:
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So, the bad (it's all bad):
1) Relationship - What relationship? There was no relationship. Hell, he was still married and she thought he killed her father. If that wasn't bad enough, how about the part where his wife is murdered?
All that aside, there is no relationship. No courting. No nothing. The time they spend together is very small and fraught with the frantic (annoying) thoughts. The sex scenes are just awful. Um, he tries to screw her when she's drunk and manfully (pun intended) pulls out when she passes out. And then they have sex a day or so after she's been shot.
2) Internal thoughts - 95% of this book is the thoughts of the couple and the other 5% is the thoughts of the "villain". They just go from 'Oh, I love him/her' and 's/he's trying to kill me' back and forth, right up until the very end of the book.
It's so maddening! I mean, she's literally looking between death and him, and still doubting him. Like 'he's going to kill me!' At the end of this long, boring, pointless, and utterly frustrating book, she's still questioning him.
3) Modern terms - This book is set in the 1800s. I find it off putting to see so many modern terms.
4) Villain - was terrible. Horrible. The only cliche thing he didn't do was to laugh hysterically. ...more
Alex, I'd like to buy HOW THE FUCK WAS THIS BOOK PUBLISHED for 500? Oh, and add in AND IN A FUCKING SERIES, NO LESS for 2000?
I've read some really, reAlex, I'd like to buy HOW THE FUCK WAS THIS BOOK PUBLISHED for 500? Oh, and add in AND IN A FUCKING SERIES, NO LESS for 2000?
I've read some really, really bad books in my time and this ranks up with the best (worst?) of them this year. It's one of those terrible books that deserve a whole lot of moving gifs.
Both main characters are bland. The hero is better than the heroine because all she does is whine. Whine, whine, fucking whine. It's ten times worse because she's whining about things she, herself, has chosen to do.
For example, her great Aunt dies before the story starts and she apparently leaves the heroine with a whole lot of money. So she quits her job because she doesn't need the money THEN COMPLAINS ABOUT NOT HAVING A FUCKING JOB AND LIVING OFF A TRUST FUND LIKE HER PARENTS. There's like pages of her telling us how shiftless not having a job makes her and how she needs a jobs because her parents were such bad people. Um, cry me a fucking river? Oh wait, just drown in that fucking river.
The hero is still bland but, at least, he doesn't whine like a baby over everything.
The biggest problem beside the characters is that this entire story is just telling. We don't see much and what little we do see is completely uneventful.
Like, the heroine makes an appointment for a therapist and the book then jumps to right after the appointment where the heroine just complains about the therapist.
It's so boring. I don't care that the heroine makes "snap judgements" or that she makes a list for the new, bigger house she's going to buy.
This book is terrible. It's horrible. Don't, for the love of god, read this shit pile....more
This book (somehow) managed to hit all my 'piece of shit' bubbles, and the parts that didn't where still terrible. If this had been in the first, oh, This book (somehow) managed to hit all my 'piece of shit' bubbles, and the parts that didn't where still terrible. If this had been in the first, oh, ten Sandra Brown novels I'd read, I wouldn't read another. It was that bad.
You get that lovely romance where the hero hates the girl and still wants her, so he's completely nasty to her. He thinks she's a murderer and he still wants to shag her. And, naturally, she falls head over heels in love with him. Who would fall in love with a guy who thinks they've killed an elderly man in cold blood? I'd be worried about the man who'd be okay with all that.
And then he's just a stalker. He literally just follows her around and calls her a liar and a murderer before forcing himself on her for kissing, then cursing her and stalking away for five minutes. Rinse and repeat.
Then there's the whole racist thing with the black best friend who plays around with Voodoo dolls (literally poking them into these dolls and buying curses.) Of course, this best friend needs to have a white girlfriend who reminds her that this is the South and no respectable white man will say he's seeing her.
At one point, this respectable white man is coloring a picture of the flag with his daughter and she shows him the patriotic colors she used. Not kidding.
If all that weren't enough, the "bad" guy is just thrown in as an afterthought. He has barely anything to do with the plot and the author never puts the two together in any way. This was the author trying to be "clever". Bleh....more
No words can describe how horrifically bad this book is. Hell, no words can describe how horrifically bad this series is, and now I'm thinking that peNo words can describe how horrifically bad this book is. Hell, no words can describe how horrifically bad this series is, and now I'm thinking that perhaps the author is some kind of deranged psychopath and the local police should look around for any sign of unsolved homicides.
Let me start of with the sweet, loving words of Marc as he tries to woe Faythe with his manliness on page six:
"'You don't outrank me yet,' he spat. 'So put your shirt on -- you're saying on two legs. And this time see if you can keep them together.'"
Fucking right! Why the fuck would Faythe not want to be with Marc when that's all he pretty much says to her for the whole fucking book. Clearly, the love he has has bled for her has through the pages of this awesome series and warmed the cold, hard lump of a woman's heart who had this silly notion that love doesn't consist of taking the most childish, petty, cheep shots at a woman because of your hurt feeeeeeelings.
Since I don't think it's possible to describe how terrible this is, let me paint a fun picture for you:
"Freakin' AWESOME! So I just made this heroic rescue of myself from the clutches of these ebil people! Granted, I WAS put on a ground floor room with only one guard who conveniently took off my cuffs with a key he conveniently had on him. And, granted, I've said through this whole series that werecats can hear everything that goes on in a house but sh! I'm not telling this guys. Luckily, my ONE guard was easy to overpower. Whew!
"And, okay, so the window on my ground floor room wasn't locked and it was easy enough to tackle the random, wandering guard (clearly, having a guard stationed outside is too much) who conveniently fell for my womanly charms. After which, I conveniently saved my two boi toys.
"But now I need to figure out where to go! I know the ebil villain has guns where we have only one or two and said ebil villain has many, many guards (that conveniently were no where around the person they were supposed to guard) but ... Mhm ... I KNOW! I KNOW! I'll hid in the same cabin they'd just arrested me from an hour or two ago and stay and fight with all of my ... five or ten people against an army with guns! Fucking good plan!"
I know why we've never heard of werecats before ... They're all fucking stupid....more
WTF did I just read? In one gif, this story (this whole series) is like:
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For gods sake! This series made Twilight look like a romantic comedy. HWTF did I just read? In one gif, this story (this whole series) is like:
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For gods sake! This series made Twilight look like a romantic comedy. How terrible does a series have to be to make Twilight look like a good, balanced relationship?
I mean, WTF! I'm so SO! sick of Kay apologizing to Nash. Nash! Go jump off a fucking cliff. I'm done with you. As far as I'm concerned, you should be in jail.
You know, I'm so utterly baffled that anyone *ANYONE* would be okay with Nash after what he did in book three. Is this our rape culture's best example? Let's forget that he tried to rape her on multiple occasions to sell those memories to that demon so he could get high? How is that different from trying to force a girl into prostitution? She's supposed to get over him trying to whore her out in six weeks?
And that guy had a knife to her back. She shouldn't have to apology to being forced into that.
And that whole Tod thing? Gag me with a fucking spoon. It's amazing how she forgets that he was so fucking willing to have her killed for an ex he hadn't seen in years and who wouldn't've even been able to have a relationship with anyway.
The worst part is? I can't stop reading this series. It's like every chapter sinks this story into new, horrific depravity and, like a train wreck, I can't stop watching....more
This is a hard book to rate and properly review. If I were to pick a rating based on plot, I'd give it a one star. If I were to pick a rating based onThis is a hard book to rate and properly review. If I were to pick a rating based on plot, I'd give it a one star. If I were to pick a rating based on story, I'd give it five.
Poor Amanda is having a bad life. She's getting possessed by the demon Naamah (supposedly the second wife of Adam that he rejected. Third times a charge, I suppose.)
First things first. This book has no plot. I'm using the term plot in the more finite definition of it -- as in, plot is the external events and story is the internal/emotional events.) The plot reads like a diary, basically, with some blackouts thrown in. It is definitely not horror or anything close to a thriller.
The first half is consists of her picking up all her bad habits and raging that people are stupid (basically.) It didn't draw me in, though it didn't push me away either. There's only really one event that has any kind of emotional charge other than her whiny "why do people care if I smoke" thing and that's when she snuffs her cigarette on her hubby's arm.
This book just didn't work. It feels like an overly ambitious character piece. It has the feeling of The Tell-Tale Heart but it didn't work for this book because there is an actual plot in that story AND it's a short-ish story.
Since we start out with Amanda when she's getting possessed, we have no background to draw from. We don't really bond with her. We have no outside VP to see how what she's doing is totally unusual. Is she always bitchy and we're supposed to ignore it or is something else happening? There's nothing in the story to bounce this off of. We have to take her at her word but she's supposedly getting possessed so who knows right?
Which brings up another pet peeve of mine: the author, I think, realized this. The POV goes from limited to the "all knowing" and back again several times to explain how, exactly, this is different from her regular self -- that totally ruins the whole thing, though.
One of the reasons I love Stephen King so much is that he deals with possession in such a masterful way. Take Christine or The Shining. We see the struggles they're facing before the possession and the possession of each is related to said struggles. In Christine, Arny is trying to become an independent person but he doesn't know how and was never shown how. He latches onto the first powerful thing that comes into his life but, unfortunately, he doesn't realize that that isn't independence.
We're given POV from several different, carefully chosen, people that are all on a kind of spectrum in Arny's life. You have the girlfriend who doesn't know him before he got Christine. His parents (told through the other two.) Arny himself. And his best friend, who totally sympathizes (and could've been in the same boat) as Arny....more
I really liked this book. It was short and sweet, and I didn't think an author could fit SO MUCH SEX into one shot ass book and still have something lI really liked this book. It was short and sweet, and I didn't think an author could fit SO MUCH SEX into one shot ass book and still have something like a plot.
I usually don't pick up audible books that are so short but this might change my mind on that. I really love how the author took the character from a plain lump of flesh and made her character arch very strong. Certainly, sex had to do with it but I still enjoyed it....more
Overall, it was a huge mess of 'wtf isn't there supposed to be a plot in here somewhere?' The problems with this book are so numerous that it's hard tOverall, it was a huge mess of 'wtf isn't there supposed to be a plot in here somewhere?' The problems with this book are so numerous that it's hard to figure out where to start.
Characters: I hated them all, save for Emma. Everyone else was cardboard. I have no idea why half the 'inner circle' of friends was even there. They had less effect on me then window curtains. Hell, Rosswell's only function in this book seemed to be a driver. He never even put up a fuss. Oh, Mackie wants to leave. Awesome!
Mackie was worse, though. He was incredibly angsty and freaking jerk when it came to the women. We're told he's supposedly in love with Alice yet he can't bring himself to talk to her? Then we meet Tate, who's younger sister died a couple days before, and he's trying to kiss her and tell her he likes her? And he does this when he knows (view spoiler)[her sister is still alive (hide spoiler)]? And then, it that wasn't bad enough, he turned around and asked Alice to the party, basically because Tate wasn't in the mood to start a relationship with a guy she never really talked to?
Oh, and we have that lovely triangle.
The "protagonist" wasn't actually in the book for much of it and the parts that she was were incredibly melodramatic that it hurt. Like, complete with laughter as she explained her plans to him. What little there were of them.
I hated the Morrigan the most, though. I really, really, really, really hate it when authors are lazy. I'm thinking, because this has faeries in it that she was trying to go for the Morgan leFay type thing but she wanted to be 'original' so she decided to drag in the Morrigan.
The Morrigan's portrayal is everything I hate about YA authors using mythology to make it trendy (I guess.) The author tries to rectify this by giving on one sentence description of what she was in the past. The Morrigan, in Celtic mythology, is half the time three goddesses and half the time one. And she's pretty much the exact opposite of the Morrigan in this book. Playing with dolls? Are you serious?
The Plot: There was no plot. The author confuses angst with actual action. All Mackie does is be sick and angsty for half the novel (going home early and all) and then is healthy and angsty.
It just didn't make any sense what-so-ever. The whole set up made absolutely no sense at all. At one scene, the ebil villain says she doesn't need the town folk to believe in her. She just needs the pain and angst. Yet she also tells them that this town has more of that than anywhere else? What? A sleepy small town USA has more angst than any of the wars going on for the past century or two?
WTF did I just read? What is this steaming pile of cat shit?
This book is the WORST world building I've ever encountered. It's so bafflingly bad that IWTF did I just read? What is this steaming pile of cat shit?
This book is the WORST world building I've ever encountered. It's so bafflingly bad that I'm stunned and speechless. Did the author even attempt to consider the implications of ANYTHING? It took me thirty seconds to see the huge and OMG plot holes in this world building.
I'll give you the first example that came to my mind (because it's basically the whole book and that would take too long.)
We have here a 'pride' of cats. There are two ways that one is 'made' into a werecat. You're either born into it or are scratched and survived. Right out of the gate we encounter the first big-fucking-plot hole. Female werecats are *only* born, not made, and they are incredibly rare. The author states, for example, that there are only eight unmated werecats females in north America before all this started. They are then wed to unmated male cats destined to be the alpha's and their one goal in life is to have a girl.
Are you seeing the problem? No? How about this: prides consist almost entirely of born werecats. She has three or four brothers and their territory is spread over several states. How is this possible? If prides consist of born males, how is it possible to have a pride larger than ten or twenty at the most? How have they not devolved into incest and horrific genetic problems thereby?
The 'scratched' werecats are called strays and are (for the most part) considered to be terrible, terrible people (for some reason.) She never actually explains why this is so it's basically just a stupid plot devise. One of those 'just add water' things. Wam! Bam! Insta-supa' villains praying on innocent, virginal girls! ...more
I hated this book. I literally hate it. I hated everything about it, except for Kat. I hated all the characters. I especially hated Cole. Fuck [image]
I hated this book. I literally hate it. I hated everything about it, except for Kat. I hated all the characters. I especially hated Cole. Fuck Cole. Go jump off a fucking bridge. I DNF @ about 85% because I just couldn't.
If I was faced with a knife wielding bandit (because who doesn't face these guys all the time, right?) and he said 'give me one good thing about this book or I'll kill you', I'd say 'give me the fucking knife! I'll stab myself to death via my eyeballs for I read most of this acursed thing and it was THAT BAD.' (I'd be channeling a bit of Nero's mum there but the situation warrants it!)
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This basically sums it. It's cliche upon cliche upon CLICHE. Is there something in this book that isn't a complete cliche?! Even the whole ghostly zombie thing is a cliche. Here's a hint: it works the same as very other zombie, with the tiny added spice of them having to fight them in "spirit" form.
We get Cole and his PURPLE eyes. I swear to god, if I read any more about his goddamn purple eyes I ... I ... Well, it'll be bad. He even dumps her for her "own good".
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Which is completely insane because she's a fucking idiot. Hm. So your go outside with only a drunk friend and you see tons and ton of Zombies. Do you A) run back into the protected out and alert the whole tribe of zombie killers (because this is their fucking home base and everyone single person involved is at this party?) or B) run off into the woods like a fucking idiot? Huh. I'll let you guess that one.
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Then we get insta-love, a triangle, the good boy who turns out to be evil, school bullying, AND a superpower girl with a "destiny". And this destiny pretty much makes her incredibly powerful with all the special powers and shit. I hate destinies. Go jump off a bridge with Cole, Destiny.
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But all this is a bit more trivial to me. The thing I hated, hated, HATED about this was the insta-love. Or, rather, the insta-lust. This drove me up the wall. That's all she could think of. Every time she saw him. No, truly. They had visions of each other making out. Tons of them, with one single vision that had nothing to do with sex.
Every time she saw him, she became speechless. It didn't matter what she was doing. I swear to god, every time she saw some knew part of him, she swooned. This in addition to every thing else. She literally spends the first weeks/months at this school just staring.
There's fucking zombies knawing on her and she's breathless when she sees his purple eyes or how wide his shoulders are or how awesome his stomach is or his nipple ring. FFS!
I SO wanted to tell them to get a room. It was that bad. But all these kids are underage and it's fucking horrible. I don't want to read that. It's disgusting. But that's all she thought about. It was sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, and more sex. There's zombies hunting her. Her teammates are dying. The zombies killed her entire family, but all she can think of is his wide shoulders? Fuck that.
This felt like a failed PR that was turning into a YA series. It truly does.
This review is for the audible version and I'm halfway through it. Where is this great and awesome book everyone else seems to have read, cause I wantThis review is for the audible version and I'm halfway through it. Where is this great and awesome book everyone else seems to have read, cause I want to read it. 'A Discovery of Witches' is not anywhere near awesome. It's ...
Well, besides the tea, the amazingly old wine (really, I never read an fiction so obsessed with wine before), and yoga, you have an exercise in ... boring writing. Nothing happens. You get a decent first chapter and then ... nothing.
Okay. Maybe that's not true. You get the perfect heroine. A true portrait of a Mary Sue. She's beautiful. She's the best at everything she does (excels at school (thanks, photographic memory), is awesome at drama, and somehow lands a tenure at that school.) Where witches have one, maybe TWO, powers, she has them all, save one or two. That's NOT an exaggeration. These awesome powers conveniently didn't really peak until now, thank god? I was a-gogg at her note taking in the library with her photographic memory, though.
Her man is perfect. Perfectly handsome, rich, old, wise, and has a freakin' castle (probably two.)
Since I bought the audio book, I find I must invent ways to make this book interesting. For the first ... 300 pages, there was no real conflict. The author just had people staring at her. Before Mr. Perfect whipped her away to the castle, do you know what "conflict" was involved? You see, everyone wants this book. They're content on just watching the heroine (as she exercises, does yoga, drinks tea, reads, etc -- she's FASCINATING.) After 300 pages, she decides to try to recall the book. It doesn't come up. So another witch sorta taunts her. He doesn't even swear at her and he's a good 10 feet away, but Mr. Perfect is there to react to nothing. Witch goes away. She goes to Librarian to ask about the book and they say the book is lost, has been for 150 years, and this ... this was the thing that got Mr. Perfect going. He literally goes to her and stands between her and the Librarian (very much like he expects the other man to take a swing at her) and says "this is TOO dangerous! I'm getting you out of here!" NOTHING! HAS! HAPPENED! (I mean, I know SOME Librarians are scary but come on!)
So, back to ways to make the book interesting! I've decided it's like this vamp is reacting to invisible micro-waves or something! Ghosts, perhaps! My imagining is so much better then the book. Now, whenever this insane thing goes off because of lint, I feel the power to keep going -- if for no other reason than a good chuckle. He makes less sense then those crazy, homeless guys who rant about the end of the world. I mean, at least you sorta know what those guys are ranting about. This Mr. Perfect... there's nothing there. It's so weird.
Still... I don't know how the rest of you managed to get to the ending... Strong, brave readers... ...more
Alisi � wants to read too many books �
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