ŷ

Anu's Reviews > Protecting Caroline

Protecting Caroline by Susan Stoker
Rate this book
Clear rating

by
48159983
I'm busy till the weekend, and it's much easier to read shitty books in class. It's also a lot easier to point out why a book sucks, than to point out why it doesn't. I don't know; I think books I like warrant more time to write more cohesive reviews than the crap I don't like. So sue me.

Ugh. Plain Jane meets the most devilishly handsome man she's ever met, and he saves her from a bunch of...bad things, and they live happily ever after. Well, I hadn't read that before. Just another sloppily put together romance novel about two empty shells of characters who think there's really not much to life other than looks. I kid you not, because both the MCs in this clusterfuck seem to legitimately think so.

Caroline is your average brown-haired chemist; she's just an average girl from an average family. And whatshisname is well, ripped as a motherfucker and "obviously" hot. And yet, they still have time for some over-the-top insta love BS. I'm a very frequent flier, and I've sat next to some incredibly good-looking men on the flight. I've had idle conversation with most of them, but never, during the course of such conversation felt the urge to surrender my body, soul, and undying love and loyalty to them. Then again, if my life were a romantic story in the sense of this book and its likes, I wouldn't be reviewing shitty books at midnight.

Unrealistic as the books in this genre I've read so far have been, this one takes all the cakes. Chemist and Navy Seal thwart terrorist masterminds. Now that would be something. Not. Both the MCs have a very, er, childish line of thought. Case in point, the heroine thinks that It couldn’t be good to be trapped in a plane thousands of feet above the ground with people hell-bent on causing trouble. Like, I'm so awed by her quick thinking. And it is her that the people in this book have to rely on for saving them. Also, the only point of making her a chemist was so that she cold sniff out whatever it was the terrorists were using to control their passengers. Clearly, subtlety isn't the author's strong suit.

As Navy Seals save the day and Caroline gets a mini orgasm thinking about the fact that she incapacitated a "freaking terrorist" by tripping him, I'm left wondering why I still haven't considered writing such utter shit as an alternate career option. Even as people are being rescued after the event of the terrorist attack, Caroline's first ridiculous thought is that all the other passengers are attractive, and she's ugly. Even the shallowest of persons I know wouldn't think that. She also thinks it's a good idea to lie to the authorities about the events surrounding a terrorist attack. She gets kidnapped and tortured and all that, and I still don't think she was punished enough. Getting into more details would only be painful for both you and me, reader.

If I had a penny for every time the word blush was mentioned in this, er, badly written writing assignment, I'd be seventeen pennies richer. I'm too tired to convert that to rupees, but that was never the point of this statement. And yet, even my terrible joke fares so much better than the feeble attempts at humour made by the author. Do I have to make the point about subtlety again? If I have to hear the word drug being used instead of dragged again, so help me god. I yelled at a classmate for writing "common" instead of "come on" today, so know that I take this seriously.
50 likes · flag

Sign into ŷ to see if any of your friends have read Protecting Caroline.
Sign In »

Reading Progress

September 29, 2016 – Started Reading
September 29, 2016 – Shelved
September 29, 2016 – Shelved as: hate
September 29, 2016 – Shelved as: contemporary-romance
September 29, 2016 – Shelved as: drama
September 29, 2016 – Shelved as: freebie
September 29, 2016 – Shelved as: awful-male-characters
September 29, 2016 – Shelved as: bad-grammar
September 29, 2016 – Shelved as: bad-writing-editing
September 29, 2016 – Shelved as: pms-made-me-do-it
September 29, 2016 – Shelved as: romance
September 29, 2016 – Shelved as: tries-too-hard
September 29, 2016 – Shelved as: what-was-i-thinking
September 29, 2016 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-14 of 14 (14 new)

dateUp arrow    newest »

message 1: by Asghar (new)

Asghar Abbas haha, how can you hate this book? I mean look at its cover :P

Another stellar review. I am amazed and impressed that you can read novels in class :)

and don't apologize for reading these type of books. For they give us your funny reviews that never fail to cheer me up . Bravo.


message 2: by Crisanda (new)

Crisanda And here is why I strictly avoid books with shirtless six packs on their covers. Maybe it's not right for me to judge books by their covers, but really, if you can't try to come up with an original cover, why would your story be original? Though, perhaps, tripping resulting in decapacitation could be considered original.


message 3: by Crisanda (new)

Crisanda *incapacitation.


message 4: by Abubakar (new)

Abubakar Mehdi Well, why are all the characters so hot and horny in these books? I'd love to read about an obese asexual man exploring bdsm at the tender age of 38. Wouldn't that make some damn good story, eh?


message 5: by Gretel (new)

Gretel @Abukabar Mehdi

That sounds freaking interesting. In the hands of a good author, this could become gold. And if not, at least it would be something different.


message 6: by Abubakar (new)

Abubakar Mehdi Definitely Gretel, as Toni Morrison "If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then yet you must write it." I guess one of us will have write it, if no one else is up for such an adventure.


Friend to God You people read some funny stuff


message 8: by Gretel (new)

Gretel Don't tempt me or I might do it. ;D
Actually, why the heck not? Oh dear, another project...at this rate doing stuff 24/7 won't be enough.


message 9: by Anu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anu Asghar wrote: "haha, how can you hate this book? I mean look at its cover :P

Another stellar review. I am amazed and impressed that you can read novels in class :)

and don't apologize for reading these type o..."


Yeah, I didn't notice the cover when I started it; I enjoy desecrating shitty books, but I must draw the line somewhere. :P
As the senior-most kids in college, we have this unwritten understanding with teachers that if we don't get caught, it didn't happen. Makes reading in class fairly easy.

Haha, once again, thank you, Asghar! :D


message 10: by Anu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anu Sapphire wrote: "And here is why I strictly avoid books with shirtless six packs on their covers. Maybe it's not right for me to judge books by their covers, but really, if you can't try to come up with an original..."

I repeat, I did not see the cover of the shitfest before I started it. And do trust me when I tell you, I judge books by their covers also. We all do. Yeah, I never knew that tripping someone could make them fall! Guess you learn something new everyday. :P


message 11: by Anu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anu @Abubakar, Gretel. Guys, we need to make this happen! Please! I am willing to contribute in all ways to make this a reality. This book would outsell every so-called erotica book of this day and age!


message 12: by Anu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anu Inam wrote: "You people read some funny stuff"

It's bloody hilarious, honestly. Also, it's a lot easier to practice my own creative writing skills which such books; the content is absolute bollocks.


message 13: by Do Your Reading (last edited May 28, 2023 01:37PM) (new) - added it

Do Your Reading Gretel wrote: "@Abukabar Mehdi

That sounds freaking interesting. In the hands of a good author, this could become gold. And if not, at least it would be something different."


Actually Pepper Pace writes mostly romance novels about unconventional heroes. Some of them where the FMCs are quite good looking 😁 and the heroes are either homeless, scarred, handicapped, disfigured, shorter than the fmcs among other things. My only problem with some of her books is the editing.


Do Your Reading This review is absolutely ridiculously hilarious. 😂 Next time I travel I'm going to check if a "Caroline" or a "Matthew Wolf" is sitting next to me and start laughing like a jackass.
On a side note, I actually liked this book. 😊


back to top