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Entry: 20/3/12 18:37I don't want to be immortal.
So many people will wonder why. Why would I want to age? Why would I want to die?
It's not that.
It's that I don't want to stay the same while everything around me changes.
I don't want to watch everything around me die. Everything, everyone I love.
Is it that hard to believe?
I want, in fifty years, to be wrinkly, and old, and tired. I want to be surrounded with children and grandchildren listening to me telling stories about me as a foolish teenager, and then a foolish young adult, and then a foolish adult, and then a foolish mother, and finally- a foolish grandmother. I want to screw up but know that even if someone leaves me, eventually I'll meet them again. I don't want to live of everyone around me is dead.
No. The last thing I want to be is immortal.
---
It's gonna start, soon.
I can do this. I can do this. I can stand in front of six hundred people and sing. I can DO THIS.
But who am I kidding? I can't do this! It's already happening. Something will go wrong, I know it will. I'll lose my voice. The mic will stop working. The guitarist will be sick. I'll forget my lines and stand there, embarrassed, on stage, alone, with the spotlight on me. I'll go to the bathroom and miss my performance.
Something's about to go terribly wrong.
I look at the audience, trying to find my parents. Maybe if I can find Dad, he'll give me a smile and then I'll know it'll be alright. Or one of my friends- Haggai'll crack a joke to ease the tension, and Guy will remind me that all that matters it that my friends know how good I am, and Ariel will just be silent, like always, send me a shy smile and then turn away. He's always like that. And Tamar will tell me that it doesn't matter anyway, that I should just focus on how hard the math test tomorrow is gonna be, and try and get through this. And Maya will remind me of Will, or Buffy, or Tessa, or Spike or some other character we both love and encourage me to act like I know they will.
But I can't find my parents, and I can't find my friends. And it's too late anyway. Curtains up. It's show time.
Entry: 20/3/12 23:04
I guess it's over now. I survived.
I guess I can cry now. Everyone's alive.
I guess I can hurt now. Not everyone remembers why.
I guess that I've changed now. All I've got left is to live my life.
Entry: 21/3/12 15:01
Is it silly? Yes.
But do I still want to kill myself over the 80 or less I'm gonna get? Yes.
Entry: 27/3/12 20:16
Oh, is my life a mess or what?
You can always tell, by the state of my hair.
Entry: 29/3/11 5:26
I stayed up all night. I wish I knew why. I didn't fall asleep. I was up till past midnight on my computer, then read. Usually I would've crashed. But I had a feeling I'd have nightmares. So I didn't.
I'm starving, of course. But I don't want to EAT. I can't get that under control, but I've got to. If I don't I'm gonna starve every day till break.
Gonna go back to my books now, I guess.
Entry: 29/3/11 6:11
When I told them, they laughed.
Well, not really. But they were skeptical. How can you be in love with someone you've never seen? Someone that isn't even real?
At the time, I didn't have an answer. But I do now.
You don't love someone because of what he looks like, right? You love someone because of who they ARE. And how can you not fall in love with him. Smart, handsome(apparently), talented, and he appreciates art, music, poetry. I fell in love with him through the words.
And so what if he's fictional? Them brooding over some celeb, or some guy from a TV show or movie, isn't any different.
So, yes, I fell in love with a character from a book, a character I've never seen.
So what? Let me brood in piece. I leave you be when you brood.
Entry: 4/4/12 5:59
Sometimes I get nightmares.
I never wake up screaming or shaking. I'm just suddenly awake, the memory of last night's images echoing in my head.
My subconscious can be very creative.
And mean.
I didn't know those kind of thoughts exist in me!
As funny as it is, the dream took place in my current school but had many students from my old one. I'm guessing that's from seeing three girls from that school yesterday afternoon-evening. There were also girls from this school though.
This is the first time I have this nightmare. Some parts of are repetitive and some are just one-time mares. And they're all downright terrifying.
In one part of the dream, I'm trying to find the library but know I'm looking in the wrong place. I end up meeting the vampire Voldemort, eating a feast of dead meat near the science labs- or at least where they're supposed to be, as I never actually looked at them. I tried to ask for directions for the library, but all Voldemort did was growl and try to bite me. I floated down and ran like hell- straight into a gym class somewhere I've never seen before. Nobody was there yet, and I was sitting down. A girl from this class came in and insisted on teaching me a dance. When I fell down gracefully my gym teacher came in and told us, "very nice, we'll be working on a dance for that song as well." The room started filling up. I don't remember much, just that when I got out I had to go to find the library. So harry potter dispatched Ron and Hermione and headed up the tower- just to meet Voldemort again. He was almost finished with the feast and was red- covered with animal blood. His blue skin was like a Native American's now. I floated up to him again and he smiled in the utmost creepy way and leaned forward to bite me.
I ran and stumbled, waking up calmly.
((He couldn't actually get to me. That was the scariest part. He was holding bones of some animal in his hand and he couldn't get to me without finishing his meal. I knew it, but when he returned to his meal, I was still terrified.))
Entry: 4/4/12 10:00
I get that I don't always tell the truth, but it hurts when you assume I always lie.
Entry: 10/4/12 11:52
It happened again. Why is it always me? Why do they always pick in me?
I stood strong. And for once, I wasn't alone.
But I'm not choking because I feel loved. I'm choking because I want it to STOP. I don't understand why so many kids have the need to bring other people down, to bully them... In the end, it's their life that's ruined, and they bullies don't even realize it.
I hate it.
http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/8...
Entry: 30/4/12
So this guy came to school today.
Our teacher invited him. Instead of dividing into boys and girls and talking about our feelings growing into teenagers, we spent our Education class sitting in our classroom and seeing short films.
Needless to say, we were excited and happy.
The guy started by saying he'd spent half of his life abroad. When he came back to Israel in 2005, after living in California and Boston, he was surprised - but it was good surprise.
Because Israel had gone through some major changes. The lifestyle much fancier and much more common, cities like Modiin were built, and we had progressed.
Israel is number one in the world in medical discoveries. It also has the seven major Nobel prizes, and all in all 22% of all Nobel prizes, and is one of the most advanced countries in the world, technology wise and otherwise. Israel even invented the disc-on-key.
And then there's the Middle East Conflict. Even if you ignore the fact that Israel isn't all of it, though it is part of it, people believe they know everything about the Palestinians, when they usually know nothing. For example, people see a picture of soldiers examining an ambulance at a checkpoint. An old lady is infront of it, looking sick and weak. Crime against humanity, right? But you're forgetting why they have to stop the ambulance in the first place. Palestinian extremists have in fact used ambulances in order to get explosives through the border. They have killed.
And then there's the Wall, the same one I see everytime I go to school. Why do you think it's there? In order to keep them in? No! It's there in order to protect us. I'm not saying every Arab is evil. I had an Arab friend for a while(we didn't stay in touch once I stopped seeing her regularly). I'm saying that the Arabs who are are also very dangerous, and our country has the right to defend itself and its population from harm.
I won't even mention Coldplay and the crime they committed against all Jews and Israel in particular a while back.
Before I finish my entry, I'd like to smash a few myths that apparently exist about Israel:
1.ISRAEL IS HUGE
This so wrong it's hilarious. Israel is tiny, with Italy being 13 times bigger than it, Germany times 16, Alaska time 80 and India times 150.
2. ISRAEL IS A DESERT
Not true. Israel is the only country in the whole world which has a desert, snow mountains, green mountains, seas and the lowest place on earth(!) within 22,145 squared kilometers.
3. ISRAEL IS A RELIGIOUS COUNTRY
Not true. Less than 29% consider themselves religious in Israel one way or the other. (and yeah, I'm part of the minority. Deal with it)
4. ISRAEL IS A DICTATORSHIP RUN BY ITS ARMY
NOT true. Like, at all. Israel is the only real democracy in the Middle East and our army's called "Israel Defense Forces" for a reason. It's meant to defend only, and is one of the strongest and best armies in the world.
5. ON ISRAEL THEY RIDE CAMELS FOR TRANSPORTATION
I didn't believe it when I heard, because it's so ridiculous. Even if I couldn't see the highway out of my window, numbers can prove it: in Israel there are 17,900 kilometers of road, and on them travel no less than 2,300,000 vehicles, 78% of them private vehicles. Two of them owned by my family.
6. IN ISRAEL WOMEN WEAR KAFFIYEHS OR SCARVES (on their heads)
Not true. Israel is now in fact considered a fashion capitol, just like London, Paris and New York. Our fashion designers are famous around the world and our models star on fashion magazine covers worldwide.
And if we got there already, so do Israeli actors and actresses(especially one I particularly like named Alona Tal ) and directors, as well as artists and writers etc..
7. BECAUSE OF THE SETTLEMENTS(lack of a better word) THERE ISN'T PEACE
Not true. The problem is that Israel EXISTS. In the Palestinian eye, Jerusalem and Tel-Aviv are settlements as well.
8. MILLIONS OF REFUGES AREN'T ALOUD TO RE-ENTER ISRAEL
Not true. When the British still ruled here, they urged Jews and Arabs to leave the mixed cities, but where the Jews refused, the Arabs agreed and left. Even though there are 320,000 (and only 320,000) Arab refuges, somehow people keep forgetting to mention there are 820,000 Jewish refuges from Arab countries in the Middle East.
Then there's how we only eat humus and pitta bread, when I in fact haven't had a pitta in almost a year cuz it's bad for my diet; Israel doesn't really want peace, which is the most ridiculous thing I've heard since the car thing; Israel is a primitive country(so not true, so, so, so not true); and Palestine has always been Arab, when it in fact, has never been Arab, even if the most common language was Arabic.
And finally, I'd like you to send this on. Because my country and me have nothing to do with each other and yet everything to do with each other, and people can't keep shouting at our ambassadors. Learn to learn or keep quiet.
Entry: 30/4/12 18:04A few more words.
I just have to say that together with the research and the actual typing, it took me over an hour to write the previous post.
Now that I finished with the numbers, I'd like to tell you what Israel is for ME.
For me, Israel is stone.
Praying for rain.
Trying to do what's right. Trying to get what we deserve.
Loving my country, willing to fight for it.
Crying with my country. Crying when we got Gilad Shalit back, because he was not only the child of two anymore, but of all of us.
It's smiling at the rain but hiding from it. It's grimacing at the HOT sun but longing for it constantly.
It's imperfection when it's perfect.
It's brilliant young and old minds working together to save the world. It's people yelling at you on the street because you didn't recycle.
It's all these faces that look nothing alike but are one people.
It's the rudeness and the caring.
It's people pushing behind me at the line.
It's people buying bottled water even though it's exactly the same as the tap water, it just says Eyn Gedi on it.
It's 7 million people(and more) standing still twice a year, remembering other people's pain and loss.
It's one day when everyone's dressed in white, trying to be pure and to forgive and forget.
It's every yard in Israel having a barbecue during Independence Day, because that's what we do.
It's walking in a mall with some of your friends and everything's in English.
And it's the food.
And it's Grade Eight 2, sitting together in front of a movie they've all seen before yet concentrated and quiet, because everybody else wants to watch.
And it's sandals.
Entry: 10/5/12 16:46
Sometimes I just get this urge to write.
When I do, I usually just comment on GR, or continue a story of mine, and it fades away. But sometimes it nags me and bugs me till I write what it's telling me too, and I'll throw it away cuz it wasn't what it told me to write, eventually, at all.
And the same goes with singing.
Entry: 15/5/12 20:23
I got into a fight yesterday.
I happens a lot, actually. Well, not for a while(thank God) but when it does- it's like something possesses me. I'm not me. I'm not a violent person. I slip my tongue, but actually physically hitting someone? Not me. Even this one time, I hurt myself in the process.
But I'm not proud of what I did yesterday. That guy was a douche, but he just didn't understand.(when will I stop looking for someone who can? Nobody can. It's my problem to deal with, and I'll deal with it on my own, like everything else.) And so I ended up hitting him. And me, upset, can only result with one thing: extra chipper me. Because I can't be too serious for too long. That will show too much. And when I'm serious, I scare people away. I need people. So I won't.
And I guess the point is, I have anger management problems.
Entry: 18/5/12 19:20
And isn't it completely comprehencible that there's his one girl who's not ever alowed to be upset, or sad, and if she is, she's either going to need to cancel whatever she's been looking forward to since morning or she's going to be SCREAMed at for not wanting to talk about why she CRIED, or just shut the hell up and smile.
And the SCREAMS. They never stop, do they? Constantly all the SCREAMING. If it isn't at HER, then it's at HIM, and if it isn't at him, it's one another, and if it isn't that, well it's HER on HIM or HIM on HER and then THEY're asking themselves where HE and SHE get it from, because it sure as hell isn't THEM, wonderful, calm, peaceful people as they are.
And if it takes her over a second to get to the door of her room, well then, they SCREAM out her name, againandagainandagain until she calls out "What?!" for the third time and all THEY want is to SCREAM some more and then ask her why she isn't in the shower yet, please do, Shabbat is coming in, we wouldn't want a WHOLE FRIDAY to go by without a SCREAM or to, no sir, yesir.
((there will be a contniuation. Wait for it))
Entry 18/5/12 19:20(continuation)
And all those times she prepared speeches, sometimes even wrote it down but no, SHE'll never speak them, for whenever she tries THEY, one of THEM, finds a way to make it all seem so ridiculous and childish , and of course it is, she's fourteen, what else would you expect? And don't worry, after a long enough life you'll be paranoid like us, no thank you, I'm cynical and hurt enough as it is, and is this what it feels like to go mad? Is it?
And if SHE dares think one of these questions in her HEAD, she asks herself, Silly girl, what other fourteen-year-old do you know asks themselves these sort of questions? So SHE hides them from HERSELF and tells that inner voice - always bugging the outside HER - to SHUT UP. And when SHE says she doesn't WANT to be normal, she can't help but question this EVERY time, don't you want to fit in?(of course she does, but will she?)
And when she CRIES, isn't there supposed to be someone you want to tell all about it? The one person(or two or three, really) you can always cry on their shoulder, no matter what? And yet, as many friends as she has, learning to hug and touch and care again(in that order), all she can do is ask herself Is this girl going away for good because she and I barely spoke today because I read so much during break? But I just HAD to finish the book, besides, she's not going away, that's just your abandonment issues(or whatever) and really you're just being silly. And oh, those looks, they don't want HER in this conversation, or at all, and of course she always wants to talk, nobody would ever notice her if she didn't.
And when will she stop LYING about caring? And maybe the truth is she doesn't care. Maybe she's just putting on a show for herself...
And why does she sometimes look so sure of herself and sometimes blushed like a tomato, really even redder, when someone says SHE's got POTENTIAL?
And why is it she can't eat when she's hungry but when SHE doesn't eat suddenly something's so wrong? And why does everyone complain about HER being like that or joking about that and then they do that exact same thing?
And THEM. They're the king and queen of double talk. And what do they know? Or do they, and she's not unique at all, just another girl with a pencil and a few questions about life that everyone asks?
Is she really smart at all?
And shouldn't she know better than to dream or care?
---
I guess crying never does help. But it always does. Oh well. I'll try next year.
Entry: 29/5/12 16:27
There's too much air, I can't breathe.
Entry: 30/5/12 17:01
Staring at the clock, just to see it change from 17:00 to 17:01.
-
Rereading old books, because you forgot what happened in them, and suddenly calling out, "Oh wait, I remember that!"
-
Listening to a song you really liked as a kid and suddenly understanding the lyrics.
The quirks of a teenager.
Entry: 31/5/12 16:01
It didn't take me long to feel left out again.
I don't know why. Maybe it's just me, maybe I really am too pushy, to mean, for anyone to really like me. Maybe it's just me, but should I just learn to shut up and bug off once in a while? Don't I talk too much? I talk too much, don't I? But are you all bothered by it? I'll stop, promise! After all, all I want is to fit in...
Entry: 6/6/12 16:18
So I recovered from my disease... straight into my final test in math. But I'm OK, so that's all that matters. And the test was OK, except for where I accidently wrote 8 instead of 16...
And that basically concludes the year for me.
Entry:: 8/6/12 15:39
85.
No more, no less.
You're messing with me.
Entry: 12/6/12 18:50
I wouldn't know about that.
-
Five. No more, no less. And Ariel didn't even tell me. I think I'll miss him. More than I thought I would until now.
Emmi. Ofir. Even Tamar. All gone.
-
Just one final test left: The report card itself.
-
20th. I just need to survive till the 20th, then I can finally cry.
Entry: 14/6/12This is my last Thursday.
There isn't anything particularly special about Thursdays. I've always liked them, though. Maybe because it's the day nothing happens in. There's that taste of the weekend's coming! in the air, but it isn't so strong that it simply takes over everything else. It's a quiet day, no driving around.
This is my last Thursday, and I'm breaking all my rules.
It wasn't calm, of peaceful; it wasn't the taste of weekend in the air, but the taste of summer; and tonight, there's going to be driving around.
This is my last Thursday.
Good luck, Ofir. Showtime. Break a leg. You can do this.
Entry: 15/6/12 13:20
Let this lead me wherever it will.
-
I don't always get it.
I'm not the smartest. People are always shocked to find this out because I am smart, but they don't seem to get that the fact that I'm louder doesn't mean I
m cleverer. There are so many people better than me. But only the strong survive. And in high school, the louder, the stronger.
So I forgive you. I know you didn't mean to insult me. I know you were telling the truth the way you saw it, and that's what I asked from you. Thank you. But maybe you should think, the reason that you don't always feel the way you do isn't the place. It's you.
I reinvented myself two years ago. I came to a school where no one knew me and no one cared about me, took all my quirks and pains, and became something more. People know my name now. I'm not afraid of anyone anymore. I do my best to fit in, do my best to stand out. I'm not normal, but sometimes I wish I was. A lot more than people might think, actually. I wish I knew what people mean when they talk about things so far away from my world. I hate feeling left out. I'm just another girl, after all, and because of how I present myself, how I talk, how I show off, how I smile constantly, I think people forget that. I have a greater understanding of myself than most people do my age, but that doesn't mean a thing. I still let my bad parts take over. More than what you might hope to in a religious, nice, polite(?) girl like me. I let my demon run wild. That's another demon of mine.
I'm slow sometimes. I'm mean. I cry.
(God, do I cry.
Did you know I cry?)
I poor my heart out to people who don't wanna hear. I talk to much.
(God, do I talk.
I think you know that I talk.)
I'm self absorbed and have no tact whatsoever. I'm pushy. So, so pushy.
I'm far from perfect.
Does that mean I can't be loud?
Entry:15/6/12 15:16
You will crash, and burn, and fall
You will lose then have it all
Some may stand by you forever
As long as you remember
Sometimes, angels fall down.
Entry: 16/6/12 23:15
I preformed tonight. Apparently, there are two Mes.
Entry: 20/6/12!!!! 16:54
That's it. God. I'm done.
No more school for two whole months. I got out with a great report card, though not amazing, especially for me, and I'm planning on meeting up with friends over the summer.
But there's that thing in my chest again! So maybe it's time to cry. I'll just let myself do that now. I promised myself I would.
And I'll be back on the 27th of august. Even if not all of us are going to come back.
Oh, and yeah, I got 100 in Arabic. If anybody doubted my language skills, you're SOOOO wrong.
Entry: 21/6/12 18:14
I never write with a pen.
I prefer pencils for many reasons. The major one being, you can erase it, and in order to correct mistakes done with a pen you have to cross it out, and it looks all ugly. Therefor, a person who writes with a pen, assumes he won't make mistakes. And when he does, he doesn't care if he corrects his mistakes in an ugly way. A person who writes with a pencil, knows he will make mistakes, like any other human being, and is prepared for when he does. A person whom writes with a pen but has the white stuff you use to erase ink which's name I do not know, doesn't think he'll make mistakes, but is prepared in case he will. And someone who has a pencil but forgot his eraser... he's just irresponsible.
And if you don't believe in all of this, it's possible I just like pencils because I'm used to them. And I hate change.
Entry: 21/6/12 22:46
I'm so sick of people assuming that because I live where I live I must be rich. I'm upper middle class, just like every other kid in our classroom. Deal with it!
I don't even like tehinna.
(for those who don't get the pun, the Israeli slang word tahoon means rich in a bad way, and tehinna is a spread made out of sesame. I hate it, but it's a very popular food among Israelis.)
Entry: 24/6/12 16:56
Will you ever know me/ will you?
Entry: 24/6/12 23:23
One: awesome date/time.
Two: MIB3 was great.
"Wow, that was close."
LOL
entry: 28/6/12 11:52
I'm scared.
No, terrified.
Maybe being so talented is a curse.(especially when I don't believe it when it comes to art. So many people are so much better than me and she says I'm the most talented person she's ever taught? Yeah right Abba. I don't believe you. She never said that.)
P.S. Abba means Dad in Hebrew.
Entry: 30/6/12 22:48
I need to be approved. I need to know you're there. And I need you to explain to me everything, because otherwise I fear I don't know.
And I hate feeling stupid more than anything else.
Entry(to blog!): 30/6/12 23:20
What's age? Age is but a number. And what does it mean? Nothing. Does it tell you how clever a person is, how much he knows in one subject or another? Does it tell you about the immaturity of said person, or if person is good or not to the people he interacts with? Does it tell you if this person knows how to express himself, if he feels comfortable around people? Or even how much said person weighs, what height he's at?
No.
Can you tell a person's age just by looking at him? Many people say to me I look older than I am. (This has been going on since I was three.) My mother looks younger than almost sixty, and therefore what she looks like is what I consider looking almost sixty. My father without his beard, which he has shaved off and grown back a couple of times or more since I started school, looks forty and with his beard, looks about fifty, when in fact he IS sixty. All in all, there is no such thing as looking an age. It's all just a bunch of... there is NO nice word I can use here!
Crap.
Entry: 2/7/12 2:50I wish... I wish those sort of people didn't exist. It would be so much easier if they just kept to themselves.
Entry: 2/7/12 19:41It's the BEST of both worlds...
Entry: 3/7/12 19:45Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Willow the Awesome Witch.
Faith the Evil Slayer.
Entry: 3/7/12 20:34I wonder what goes on in my brother's head. Must be a strange world. Even for a boy.
Entry: 3/7/12 20:35I completely forgot to tell you. Two days ago(Sunday) I went to see Ice Age 4. Not as good as MIB3 or Ice Age 3, but pretty awesome.
Keke Palmer was in it. I like her. Also her character.
Entry: 4/7/12 13:32That ANNOYING sound there seems to be on EVERY starship in EVERY TV show when there's an emergency.
Also, how come they all speak English? Doesn't anybody else find it odd?
I wondered about how everyone spoke English too when they meet in outer space!
At least in Startrek it made "Sense". That translator thing. But in other shows, it's just plain weird!
Mod
Entry: 7/7/12 about 17:30. The first thread you're suppose to go to, the one you're supposed to introduce yourself in but I never did till now?LOL I've been on this group for months now and I haven't commented or even looked at this folder! Oops...
>Your name?
Secret: My name isn't really Pirl. It's a beautiful name, but I don't want any perverts to figure out who I am and find me.
So I call myself Pirl.
>What do you like doing on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ?
I basically RP and sometimes write reviews on my books. I sometime post some of my writing, especially in this group, but my computer crashed and all my major projects got erased, so any stories that I started posting are gone.
>Why did you join the group?
I have absolutely no recollection. Maybe because I consider Sarah a friend on GR, maybe I got an invite from some random person, and maybe - just maybe - I found it on my own. All I know is I joined it and am super active, checking it regularly.
>Any hobbies away from the computer?
Well, yes. Except writing, I also sing, and perform (my own songs as well as covers multiple times a year. I'm a fan of books(duh) and like shopping for music and clothes and shoes and make-up and books, but not for sports or any physical activity.(despite my 85 this year in gym, a miracle as far as I'm concerned, physical activity is my enemy as long as it's not diet related.) I also like talking, D&D, annoying people and Sims 2 and 3. Oops, that's on the computer. But still.
I like Arabic, and History, and Harry Potter, and Vampire Academy, and Will Herondale, and Spike, and Buffy. (Duh. The last two go together. Not to mention if it weren't for Angel they would BE together.) And Willow, Buffy's best friend. And How I Met Your Mother. And Castle. And Doctor Who. And Charlieissocoollike. He's funny, look him up.
Yep. There's so much more, but you can just read my blog. I'll add this, I think.
Well, it's about time you gave a proper introduction! :)You have very eclectic interests. My family likes Castle. My parents were into Buffy. I liked the original Dr. Who, but haven't seen the current. The original had pathetic visual effects and costumes but that was part of the fun.
Yeah, Charlieissocoollike said they were "Adorable, which is just a way to say they were pathetic" if I recall correctly.The new series is cool. Season four is the best.
And I did introduce myself. First post. Look up.
Entry: 8/7/12 00:13Supposed to be there for, me(!)
When I'm falling down, is the world spinning round, me(!)?
When I'm falling down, is it all about, me(!)?
When I'm falling down, will you be around?
Well, it is always good to get more biographical information. I read your very interesting first post. --amazing young woman!
Mod
Entry: 8/7/12 19:08Hey, Imma*. How was your day? You feeling good? How're your knees?
Yes, Imma, I'm feeling great. I had a good sleep and I woke up refreshed. How was my morning? Oh, it was very enjoyable. I made plans with a friend for tomorrow. I wrote a bit. Yeah, I know it's been a while but I really think that ever since I found out that everything I wrote in the last six months is gone forever I've been getting back on track. Yes, thank you for noticing, this my hair is nice today!
Oh sure, I'd LOVE to do the dishes. I'm so glad you didn't open our first conversation today with an angry tone, complaining about the ton of dishes** left by various OTHER people in the house. It's always such a delight when you're calm and reasonable like this.
*Word for Mom in Hebrew. Actually, technically, in Aramaic Hebrew.
**Should take you about five minutes to wash them all.
PS. Post 40.
Entry: 9/7/12 19:35BLEGH.
Also, God bless ____.
Lol, my mother can be like that. Sometimes. A lot. Yeh, mainly because we live with probably the two most laziest males in the world. And me myself I am pretty lazy.
Entry: 10/7/12 00:14old, new, and also burrowed and blue
new and improved but I miss the old you
I mean the TARDIS you stupid old fool.
Also first time judging a competition. Wish me luck.
Entry: 10/7/12 05:22Today will NOT be my best day.
Mod
Message 29: Is this about a friend who's changed?
Messge 30: What happened on the 7th?
Thank you! Someone at least understands.Actually it's just a few random thoughts.
Actually, in Israel the date goes day/month/year. Then notice the time it was written at.
Mod
Oh, mkay.
So that was from today for me, yesterday for you? (It's still the 10th here.)
Always interesting to read your posts, Pirl! I hope judging the contest is a great experience for you.
Cheyenne wrote: "Which part is the thank you to?Oh, mkay.
So that was from today for me, yesterday for you? (It's still the 10th here.)"
My mother.
-
Yep.
Barbara wrote: "Always interesting to read your posts, Pirl! I hope judging the contest is a great experience for you."thanks.
Entry: 12/7/12 (:D) 16:54You say the tiniest thing and it sets
I play it in my head a thousand times and I still don't understand what I did wrong.
And why does it have to be this way? What did I do? I asked an innocent question. A second ago you were all joking and stuff and the next thing I know - I mean, what the hell?
And no I don't want to learn!
Entry: 13/7/12 01:21 (:D)I don't know you people. Who are you?
Strangers in my bed, literally!
The July 12 entry. In a situation like that, the other person is obviously not an easy person to deal with if they go from joking to getting set off by an innocent question. If you have to think that hard about what you did wrong, then he or she must have some issues. Hopefully, they are good at apologizing when they aren't so moody.
It's my dad. I don't think he knows he even upset me that much, or at least doesn't care. He then went and tore my poster apart- that cost me money! - and didn't even pay me my 70 NIS back.
Family can be the hardest to figure out. Sometimes we hurt the ones we love the most. I hate breaking things and ripping things up! And even if you get the money back, there is still your labor and effort that you put into it.
Entry: 14/7/12 21:01I have an idol.
I call him Dad.
As many people observe after they know me for a while of me quoting him again and again, I have a very complex relationship with him.
Admiration, but also, I think of him as my dad, and treat him as such - with disrespect.
You could look up his name, probably. You may not find him, as there is another "him" who's a jazz musician- another career he was very likely to have- but if you look hard enough, you will. He is very important in the Jewish Yeshiva world, a rabbi, if you were wondering. He's a very smart person. In junior high, I think, he taught himself to play guitar, and I always think of him as the best musician and expert of music I know. In high school, in addition, he began to write poetry. Then, in college, he studied philosophy, and eventually ended up in Israel, where he became a student and finally, a rabbi. A Talmudist, a Kabalist, and still studying today, he has taught me much about life through the bestest stories, and though sometimes mean, I do love him very much.
He's the one I look like. No one else got his colors in the family. I've got much in common with him, and so much more to learn - and though I have inherited many traits from my mother, I am very interested in almost everything. My fear of being called stupid has made me so curious to know, to understand everything. Well, almost. And he treats me, mostly, like I can understand. If I ask him a question, he will explain to me in great detail, and when I ask, he will explain the answer as well, and then explain the explanation for a bit, too. He always tries to get the best for me, and though I am horrible at times, he at least tries to be patient with me.
He has a temper. After 34 years of raising children, close to 35, he's experienced, but sometimes impatient. He can be very calm about things that I'm afraid he won't be. For example, he doesn't care for credit cards: No child can be perfect in all things, but everyone has his strengths. He knows that, and he knows that he doesn't know everything and that there is always much too learn from other people's wisdom.
All in all, I don't know who I'd be if I grew up anywhere else. I wouldn't think people are stupid, probably. Not all people, but many people. And I wouldn't be so interested in many things I am interested in, not to mention the knowledge I have in those fields.
And I don't think I'd have the same view on the things I would've done either way.
My dad's a special man.
He was the founder of the first Yeshiva with both sexes in it in Israel. He had many gay students over the years, and has recently written a paper permitting, sort of, being gay, Halachicly (Halacha meaning Jewish law).
I think you would admire him very much as well, if you ever met him.
I'm 44 and it is only been in recent years that I have gained as much insight into my father--very intelligent and complex man that he is. You certainly have a head start on me. It sounds like your dad can be patient and sometimes when you least expect him to be. It's neat how he does really explain things to you. It sounds hard when he has a temper. You understand so much and hopefully that means that you know that there are times when it is NOT you that he can over react.
I was hoping to see a new entry that everything is okay. I sure hope that is the case.
Entry: 20/7/12 17:47-17:48 (turned just as I was writing the time)I guess I am. You know. I look good in this skirt, and the top is awesome.
I just wish I could say the same about my hair.
And GOD, does that annoy me. I hate when people do that. I only do it when I know for a fact that they haven't seen it.
AND SHE ISN'T EVEN ANY GOOD.
Entry: 22/7/12 13:16You know how it is when someone annoys you over something you do all the time?
But I actually have a system that makes sense. She just comments whenever.
Entry: 23/7/12 21:46I HATE MY COMPUTER.
And in that mood...
Tell me if you can see that. Because I can't.
Entry: 23/7/12 22:50The man for me will love me more than I love myself,
And will never, ever, understand, why I hate the parts I do.
Below an that mood... I can't see what may be a picture or icon.
☀Ignite Your Creativity☀
Books mentioned in this topic
Will Grayson, Will Grayson (other topics)Delirium (other topics)
So I'll update this once in a while...
I actually HAVE a blog. I dunno if it will be parallel or not, but there's a link on my page to those who want to read it... :)
----
I just wanted to say hello.
You don't know me. Maybe a little, from what I've told you myself.
I'm 14. My real name shall remain hidden, though many detail on me are hidden within my different RP groups. I have been many things throughout my short life, but I have always been a writer at my core.
I am tall, with curly, frizzy brown hair. It has red, bronze and purple highlights that you can see best in the sun. My skin is pale, and I have absolutely NO idea where I got it from. My fingers are short and chubby, and I'm a little chubby myself, though I'm on a diet. I keep breaking and swallowing chocolate like crazy. My eyes are a kind of brown you can't really define- I like saying it's a chocolate brown, but it has some red in it. They're also very small, but almond shaped. I wear glasses, because I couldn't manage putting contacts in. I believe my lips are the most attractive thing about me- they have the perfect shape, in my eyes.
I'm always smiling, but if you ever look deep enough, you see that I'm sad. I've never had a real friend, besides my books. I tell everyone my secrets, yet no one seems to take them- or me- seriously.
I'm lighthearted and lie to my parents constantly. I cry sometimes, late at night, but I don't really know why.
I talk a lot without saying anything important, and then I slip something so deep in that no one seems to understand it.
My sense of humor is very odd and has many sides to it.
I draw, take pictures, sing and play chords on the piano. I like solving riddles, the kind that make you think about the meaning behind the words. I love music. I hate PE and any kind of physical activity more than anything.
I spend most of my time these days wasting it.
There is so much about me people just choose to ignore. They know it all, as I keep nothing hidden, but that just makes then ignore it all. You know what they say- the best hiding place is in plain sight.
My world can flip over twice, and I will stand tall. I always manage to, somehow.
Anyway.
Hello.