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Entry: 11/1/13 10:12Also:
And also: WOO!!! 500 POSTS
Entry: 11/1/13 21:53Yeah... confusion
I'm under way too much medication.
Night.
Entry: 12/1/13 8:58Well, if there was any doubt, it's gone.
I dreamed about him twice last night. And I kissed him.
I was not expecting that.
I think the person who is so greatly missed would be flattered. I like the way it builds to the end of the poem.I don't like feeling confused. Sometimes it is nice to be punchy though as in the early stages of needing sleep(remember the funny video).
I will watch the video in a bit.
I was reading a book and there was an excerpt about an amazing Rabbi. You may want to contact him as he would be such a wonderful person to associate with provided your parents would approve. I think he is probably from a different tradition. He is so loving and even youth of Jewish descent who identify with being atheist feel comfortable with him. He works with youth with a lot of issues so he may find your work with At Risk Children to be very interesting. I believe he is from Italy but living in America. I am not sure often he has been to Israel. On the web site that I think is for his congregation, there is a group of people holding up a sign that I hope I copied correctly. It reads "Do a Mitva for Israel."
Here is the contact information for Rabbi Zippel at the
I am sorry that you were not able to make your drama class(and was the only who missed). I love that you have a passion for drama!Beautiful winter scenery pics!
2 Rainbows!!
Bummer about not meeting with friend to prepare for Jewish Thought class.
It's okay that you lied about the hot chocolate. I watched someone eat the hot chocolate across from me today in my home. I had a delicious herbal tea that is supposed to be rich in antioxidants. I love the smell of it too.
It was probably Mitzva though. That's the word in Hebrew for the things we do because of God (keep Shabbat, eat Kosher food etc.).
I don't think I will contact him. But thanks anyway.
Thank you!Well, I wanted to share the information in case you were interested in contacting Rabbi Zippel. By the way, the book he was featured in was Your Mark on the World by Devin Thorpe. I like reading about inspirational people.
Entry: 18:52 14/1/13Happy birthday to my nephew! And happy birthday to my brother (tomorrow) .
My birthday is still far away...
Thanks for the help with coming up with an idea for the "big sister" activity, Abba!
Entry: 14/1/13 22:00Oops. I messed up last post.
Entry: 15/1/13 13:46Home sick. Hungry. Just made a video. Wow. I'm taking this whole vlog thing much more seriously than I thought I would.
Entry: 15/1/13 21:30EARTH IS DESTROYED
WHAT DO YOU DO?
...
I DIE YOU IDIOT
Entry : random night thought, 15/1/13 23:17We all have our stories. But we have the choice - either to be defined by those stories, or to define them ourselves. I want to be the latter.
Entry:16/1/13 7:04I shouldn't be treated like this. I shouldn't. And to hear you say "I hate you " - well, that shouldn't happen EVER.
FUCK YOU.
The Entry on the 15th, almost 11 hours ago, is true. I agree.
Entry: 16/1/13 14:41is not MY video, but a great, 3 hour long video.
Entry: 16/1/13 22:24I MADE ANOTHER VIDEO, WHAAAAT?
What I drew at art today:
Close up:
Entry: 17/1/13 18:26FINALLY I GOT MY ROOM BACK
Entry: 17/1/13 19:06OH MY GOD DARCY I LOVE YOU LIZZIE AND DARCY KISS NOW AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Entry: 17/1/13 19:07HOW DO I LIVE WITH MYSELF NOW DDDDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WHAT I MEAN WHAT WHAT
THE FEELS, THE FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS
I hope everything is okay. I have some catching up to do as I was away for a couple of days.
I checked out the art work. I am not an artist in that medium. I thought it was quite stunning visually.
only 3 in a class! A small school can be very good or it can be the worst. You must have been such a cute first grader as it sounds like you had a lot of day dreams. It is probably good you didn't even realize you were being bullied, on one hand. If this is when you started internalizing negative feelings(although it appears that may have come more in the next school), it may have only been worse if you let them know that they got to you. On the other hand, you can sometimes become aware of a situation to help it improve.Forgiveness and acceptance. Such lovely words. It sounds like you have been surrounded by some great people in your more recent schooling experiences. 117 out of 120 is a huge ratio of like to dislike!
Hsbsixbsisneidb kalaoaje dansxkskaksLovely artwork!!! ;D it's so cool!
I'll watch your vlogs that I missed soon by the way... When I get time :)
Entry: 18/1/13 14:36It's like, it wasn't enough that LBD was #Feels. No. You had to add TVD.
Delena. I am so. Like whoa.
Entry: 18/1/13 16:14A list of thoughts:
-----
She could give love, but not make herself love.
Thankful
For the little things
That I live here -
and not there
That life is good
And I'm mostly healthy.
They told us we should be thankful
So I am.
For the clothing
that I'm wearing
For the hats
For the socks
That life is good
And I'm mostly healthy.
They told us we should be thankful-
So I tried.
For my books
For my friends
For a goodnight's sleeping
That I'm not dead
That life is good
And I'm mostly healthy.
They told us we were ungrateful
So I lied.
For the big things
That I must be loved
- I think I'm loved
For my teachers
That life is good
And I'm mostly healthy.
They told us lies "for our own good"
And we thanked them.
For the music
And the thing I always forget -
Don't look at me like that
I bet you forget them too
That life is good
And my body's healthy.
But what about my soul,
What about the whole?
What about the family
What about what's left of me
After a summer night's dream
After fallen stars beam
Who am I to be thankful
For what you keep reminding me
Was never mine at all?
For the shoes
For the big, big people
Who are so small in our lives.
But you should know anyway -
That I'm thankful.
That's exactly it, isn't it? That the pain is of unknown origin simply makes it worse; I can't imagine what I did to make it happen; after all, what could have caused this? The only thing I've done is wait for it to pass; it didn't. Before, I was eating... after, I was participating... after, I was eating... after, I was crying.
Happy is peaceful - angry is loud - sad is painful - pain's always around.
After last night - I found I LIKED her. I couldn't believe - she was so NICE, honest, beautiful, how could he dare do that to her? How - who - what kind of MONSTER - SHE WAS SO NICE!
It was an urge. It was a need. It was her - her and not her, a piece of clothing attached to her skin - it was a dream she dreamt when she slept and the nightmare of living. It was the way she let things get to her when it was really a had idea, it was the pain no one saw, the one she hid from herself until came the moment. It was the moment she wrote and let the words change her in a way she hated and yet longed for- she never wanted this, she'd always wanted this, it's complicated - like breathing.
For someone who liked being alive, she sure thought about death a lot.
Or maybe she just wanted to be remembered.
Why does it keep coming back to haunt her? Will it ever STOP haunting her? Will that pain (the one in her chest, following her around) ever stop?
It was nice - nice to wake up and remember, nice to know somebody cared about her, nice to feel the breeze as she thought of last night - and smiled...
Who thought this morning would seem like a lifetime ago? It was like she had changed, but she knew, inside, she hadn't. She wanted to have been different - but nothing changed. She was still herself, no matter how much she wanted - needed - to change. It hurt her to think of how stoic she always was. If she could change - perhaps she would try - she just didn't see it.
She never wrote about I. Only about herself. It hurt too much not to.
She forgot that it was her own father- she no longer viewed him as such. She could merely scream inside her head : 'God, please, oh God, please have mercy on me. Please don't kill me. ' She held her breath as he screamed and shouted, then screamed some more. He destroyed and made it very clear that it was her duty to clean up. She didn't shed a single tear.
It was when she left, long after she left, that she cried. Her stomach pained just thinking about it. She let herself forget where she needed to be and simply cried. The pain was intense.
Inside, she was bleeding. No one was watching. No one was listening to her cry out. Nobody cared.
Entry: 18/1/13 20:58So tired. I need to sleep more.
Entry: 19/1/13 11:16How does it feel/ to be/ different than me?
Entry: 19/1/13 19:29THE FACT THAT YOU JUST HATED ON ME EXPRESSING MY OPINIONS DID NOT HELP WHATSOEVER
AND I HATE THAT YOU MADE ME CRY.
Freedom of speech and expression should be very welcome here.I really like the development of the poem that was posted earlier. Yes, we need to be our own kind of grateful to be really grateful at all.
I just watched the video.I hope it helped to share your anger.
Taylor Swift is a role model and very talented in my estimation too.
About Americans and Canadians having the same accent.. Well, I guess that is true of some regions. I know that I don't realize notice people are Canadian when I talk to them unless they give a tale tale sign such as saying "Aye" at the end of a sentence or Zed instead of Z(which they do when I ask for their postal code when I am working or email address).
Well, I think Taylor Swift has been very blessed with a good life. Her cat doesn't have it too bad either. She has been a target by some. I think it would have been harder to have been her prior to moving to Nashville when the students were rude and did not understand her than for her to receive criticism now. She has not done anything as far as a scandal and has a lot of people who respect her so she can hopefully realize that is just an opinion of someone who is very likely just trying to be clever and maybe make a name for himself at her expense.
I haven't watched that guy's video because judging by your video ... I don't think I want to watch it.I love Taylor Swift. I could feel the anger radiating off my phone while I was watching you... And I feel angry too D:
Entry: 20/1/13 20:25Watching "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty".
What...
Entry: 21/1/13 21:51Looking forward to a major gathering tomorrow!
Also, Cookie-Ception:
I'm glad that we are getting to know you more here at GR from your blog, creative writings, and vlogs.I hope nothing bad happened to make you feel unwanted.
I am checking out the video titled cookie-ception. I hope the major gathering goes great.
You made me laugh when you showed the cookies that were 2 cookies baked together. I like your hair in front that length. I think you have it tied up in back.You are actually making me hungry. Me want cookies!
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Books mentioned in this topic
Will Grayson, Will Grayson (other topics)Delirium (other topics)
I miss you
I do
But I don't know how to tell you
I think that
I like you
But I don't know how to tell me
I confuse you
With dreams
But I don't know how to sort you;
What can I
Do to
Fix the way I think of you?