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Portia Porter

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Portia Porter is a divorce lawyer. Her practice is entertaining. Portia has worked with clients who are splitting hundred-million-dollar estates � and with clients whose only asset in divorce is their sanity. Portia holds a Ph.D. (The University of Chicago) and a law degree (The University of Virginia). Before opening her divorce practice, Portia was an associate at Sullivan & Cromwell, one of the top New York Wall Street law firms.

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Portia Porter This book is inspired by people who stiff divorce lawyers.
It was written by a divorce lawyer who learned what is in these pages through painful exper…m´Ç°ù±ð
This book is inspired by people who stiff divorce lawyers.
It was written by a divorce lawyer who learned what is in these pages through painful experience. Really!

My friends who are not lawyers couldn’t understand.
“Wait just a minute! You are still a divorce lawyer, aren’t you? Telling people how to stiff yourself? You tell people where you keep your spare house key too? That a joke?�
“You do not understand,� I said, “It’s a safety matter. Imagine you own a gas station, and one day . . ..�
That got them talking about owning gas stations, which got them distracted from thinking about stiffing lawyers.

My friends who are divorce lawyers, though, did not get distracted at all. They erupted in outrage at my proposal to betray the location of vulnerable chinks in the bill-payment armor of our profession:
“We ought to report you to the State Bar for aiding and abetting fraud,� threatened my friends who are lawyers,
“It’s interference with the contracts, what you are doing. You want the profession to suffer for your private amusement!�
“Listen to me,� I said, “Have you read ‘Getting to Yes,� in law school . . .� but they did not want to get to anything.
“You are betraying our professional guild!� complained my divorce lawyer peers, “It’s an ethics breach! It’s treachery! We are writing you up!�
Divorce lawyers can be a hard-headed (as well as hard-hearted) bunch.
I realized that my professional peers were seriously determined to report me, even though they at least dimly realized that what I proposed was neither unethical nor illegal. Maybe my mother was right, and my divorce lawyer friends are not, in the end, really my friends.

My mother, always dependable, said: “No, I get it. It’s like . . . imagine you are minding a gas station and three masked teenagers come in and try to rob you for the thirty bucks that’s in the register.�
“Exactly,� I said.
“And then they get all spooked and shoot the rusty rifle they dug up somewhere and smash two thousand dollars-worth of glass, and one of them shoots another in the leg, and then they all end up behind bars.�
“Yep,� I said. “Sort of like Donny.�
“I remember Donny,� said my mother. �... And you feel bad for these no-goodniks because they are, like kids and do not know what they were doing.�
I was not sure if she was still with the metaphor or actually talking about Donny. In any event, I was glad that I did not have to resort to the hopelessly careworn example of the hapless bull in the china shop.
“Right on,� I said. “Donny. I wrote about him. But it’s upsetting to the Union.�
“Write it anyway!� she said. “People are going to stiff divorce lawyers either way; always have. This might at least guide them to do less damage to themselves? . . . Tell the Union to like it or lump it!�
Well, dear reader, although the lawyers� guild will have to lump it, I avidly hope that you like it.(less)
Average rating: 4.4 · 104 ratings · 51 reviews · 3 distinct works
Can You Stiff Your Divorce ...

4.49 avg rating — 53 ratings — published 2016 — 6 editions
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Alienation of Affections: A...

4.38 avg rating — 29 ratings5 editions
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Beaver vs. Beaver, a legal ...

4.23 avg rating — 22 ratings4 editions
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Quotes by Portia Porter  (?)
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“Am I suggesting that you must feel sorry for divorce lawyers and prepare to pay every penny of their fees? Of course not! You deserve justice, and the lawyer can be lured into delivering said justice at a seriously discounted price!”
Portia Porter, Can You Stiff Your Divorce Lawyer? Tales of How Cunning Clients Can Get Free Legal Work, as Told by an Experienced Divorce Attorney

“It was the time of year that makes every poet’s heart sing and every lawyer question their life choices.”
Portia Porter, Can You Stiff Your Divorce Lawyer? Tales of How Cunning Clients Can Get Free Legal Work, as Told by an Experienced Divorce Attorney

“Divorce is distressing. One does need moral support. Divorce lawyers are professionally adept at persuasively taking your side. A good divorce lawyer will have no trouble agreeing that an errant husband’s adultery killed the marriage and that he is, consequently, tyrannical for holding against his wife her own tiny indiscretion, which was a mere meaningless one-time fling with a friend. Divorce lawyers are the professional adepts at proxying for the kind of emotional support often given by best friends. Attorneys are ready and able to provide you with emotional alliance. But let me ask you: are you ready to pay a divorce lawyer’s hourly rate for emotional support? Why not use lawyers for legal work and reach for emotional support elsewhere? Many people are much better suited to comfort you. Most of them work cheaper or even free: therapists, clergy, primary care physicians. Your mother is often a good choice, and always free. Your best friend may be a good choice—unless your spouse is sleeping with your best friend. Facebook is full of “supporting each other in divorceâ€� groups. Talk to your mother. Talk to your friends. Talk to the fellow-sufferers on Facebook (but do be careful not to give out too many personal details). These resources might not heal all of your emotional scars, but unlike your divorce layers, they are cheap or even free. They will cost less even if you become quite a successful practitioner in the art of stiffing an attorney for his fees.”
Portia Porter, Can You Stiff Your Divorce Lawyer? Tales of How Cunning Clients Can Get Free Legal Work, as Told by an Experienced Divorce Attorney

Topics Mentioning This Author

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Wanderlust Challe...: November 2023 - Kingston Spell Out 60 22 Nov 15, 2024 09:33AM  
“It was the time of year that makes every poet’s heart sing and every lawyer question their life choices.”
Portia Porter, Can You Stiff Your Divorce Lawyer

“Lawyers forever overestimate their own intelligence and underestimate their clients'.”
Portia Porter, Can You Stiff Your Divorce Lawyer

“It was the time of year that makes every poet’s heart sing and every lawyer question their life choices.”
Portia Porter, Can You Stiff Your Divorce Lawyer? Tales of How Cunning Clients Can Get Free Legal Work, as Told by an Experienced Divorce Attorney

“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
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“I’ve read that one out of twenty-four people is a sociopath, and if you ask me, the other twenty-three of you should be worried.”
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