Paul Sating's Blog
November 22, 2019
2-Failures-For-Each-Success: A Timely Lesson in Not Quitting
This weekend I went to a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fight night in Tacoma � and was pulled back from the edge of giving up on writing.
Me? Thinking about hanging up the typewriter?
You bet!
Books sales have dropped off the face of the planet. I can never find the time to invest in the marketing required to find new readers now that my podcast audience has dried up. I’m currently writing the fourth, yes, fourth novel since July 5th of this year and am losing creative steam because of the crisis of confidence from the book’s sales for RIP, making a previously enjoyable project about as enticing as a trip to see the mall Santa when you don’t have kids.
The situation isn’t helped with a current battle with unemployment—a harsh reality that can force cracks in even the most secure and confident of people.
The compounding effects of bad breaks and misfortune have me entertaining a lot of thoughts of giving up this dream of a successful publishing career. As enjoyable as creating is, there’s so much more to life than sitting behind a keyboard, inside the house—I’m an outdoor person—sacrificing time, money, and mental energy when it feels like no one is interested. Hell, writers exist in a world of $5 cups of coffee or $7 craft beers; where people balk at paying $3 for a full novel that will outlast a hundred coffees or beers (drinking while reading awesome fiction is not recommended).
Why continue giving up mornings to write when I could get much-needed sleep; sacrificing lunch breaks to try and figure out the Amazon ad bidding secrets when I could, oh, I don’t know, try to unwind before returning to the work that bleeds my soul dry; or forgoing free nights to cram social media posts in between dinner, walking the dogs, and preparing for the next day, instead of spending that time with family? It’s all too much.
Why Not Quit?
I was on the edge of doing that this weekend.
Then, I met Charon Spain.
Well, I didn’t meet him, but he crossed my radar when I looked at the fight card for that night’s MMA event. You see, out of the 9 bouts, all fighters except for two had less than 10 professional fights to their name. One guy was 11-3 and was fighting for the championship. The other guy with more than 10 fights? The aforementioned Charon Spain.
And what a record he had! Coming into the night, Charon’s record was 16-33 in 49 fights. Yes, 49 professional fights; three times as many as the next closest competitor—who was fighting for the championship belt, remember?
The fact that Charon had the guts to fight in that many battles initially caught my attention. His poor record is what made me call him “my champion� before the fights even started. I like rooting for the underdog.
I mean, come on, people. This is MMA; one of the most physical, bloody sports in the world. Not only had Charon fought 49 times professionally, but he’d lost twice as many times as he’d won. Now, I don’t know the nature of his losses, but I’ve watched enough MMA to know he was probably in pain more times than not. Thirty-three times!
There is a soft spot in my heart for a person like that, a person without quit.
Time To Fight
If you’ve never been to an MMA event, you most likely don’t know that introductions for fighters include where each fighter trained and prepared—sort of giving props to those who helped them get where they are. During Charon’s introduction, the announcer stated he “trained independently.� That’s right, Charon Spain has no gym, no trainer. He was preparing for fights out in Yakima without a coach or a dedicated gym/fight school. Charon had prepared for this night all alone.
Yes, it endeared him even more to me. (He ended up being the only fighter on the 18-fighter card without a gym.)
This guy walked to the ring alone, stripping down to his ring attire, knowing that 2 out of 3 times he loses (and probably gets his ass kicked in the process—remember, this is MMA). Not only was he out there alone, but he’d been alone throughout his journey. No one there to push him on. No one around to encourage him when he might have doubted himself. No one to pull him back down when he got too lofty in ambitions and confidence.
I mean, how can you not root for someone like that?
Charon received a lukewarm welcome from most of the crowd while his opponent’s friends/family jeered him from his corner of the ring.
I cheered louder for him.
No Quit
See, here’s the thing about my champion. Charon Spain taught me a lesson that night he didn’t know I needed.
Every writer goes through a period where they just want the self-inflicted pain of trying to reach their writing goals to stop. Publishing is very hard, doubly-hard if you’re an Indie author because you’re doing most (if not all) of the work that takes an idea to something a reader holds in their hands 8,000 miles away. It’s an exercise in vulnerability; you put yourself out there and rarely does the world provide positive feedback, preferring to give unhelpful comments about your art or, worse, silence.
Too many times, you bleed on the page, and no one cares.
That’s why I’ve been toying with the idea of quitting. It takes so much to do this right, and if you don’t have the right friends or the right type of luck, it can feel overwhelming, depressing, and hopeless.
That’s been my writing journey throughout the spring, summer, and into the fall of 2019.
U-Turn
But then Charon Spain, intervened, teaching me a valuable lesson through his own passion and dreams.
He could have quit well before reaching 49 pro matches. He could have stopped each time an opponent knocked him down or choked him out. When his record first hit that unceremonious mark of two losses for every win, he could have put the gloves away forever.
Think about it; for every time he succeeded at something, he failed twice.
And that made me examine my writing journey, right then and there, while he fought.
Right now, let’s be honest, I’m failing. I have more real-life friends (and I don’t run in big circles) than total reviews for my four books on Amazon—and those reviews mostly came from people involved in my projects early on, the truly supportive people. That means most of the world doesn’t care enough about my stories to take a few minutes to tell the world they enjoyed them. RIP isn’t selling and there could be a million reasons why, reasons I have to decipher in between job hunting and trying to survive. Novel Idea to Podcast: How to Sell More Books Through Podcasting and Chasing the Demon move a little bit each, but 12 Deaths of Christmas is in free-fall since pulling it out of being exclusive to Amazon. The audience I leaned on in the past dried up with the conclusion of my fiction podcasts and I don’t have the resources to reengage them. It’s all so overwhelming.
But then, when I look at it through Charon’s 2-failures-for-each-success model, I see inspiration. I write because I love it. I want to be able to support myself from it because I want to do more of it, not because I want a home in the mountains (though that would be nice). But it’s not going to be easy and there are going to be times when I get knocked down, or put in a chokehold.
There will be moments in your writing journey when you think you have momentum and then someone shocks you with a superman punch.
Some fighters have access to better gyms. Some writers have access to connections.
Some fighters can afford better trainers. Some writers can afford better editors or flights to all the conferences in the world to make all the connections with all the important people.
Who knows if your journey will contain any breaks, let alone all those? But there is one thing guaranteed along the writing path.
If you stay in the game long enough, there will be times when you get put out and the ref raises the other guy’s arm. And if you quit at that point, you’re guaranteed to not achieve your writing goals. Stay in the game long enough and you will always have a fighting chance.
A chance to live your own Charon Spain moment, a moment when you get to prove your doubters wrong.
To win at that day's writing game.
And live to fight another.
In the end, isn’t that all we can ask for? A chance to keep going?
When Charon Spain made his opponent tap out (give up,) his hand was deservedly raised as the winner of the bout that fateful night. But, in truth, someone with 50 MMA fights, who refuses to quit even with a 17-33 record, will always be a winner.
I was pulled back from the precipice by this young fighter and won’t forget what he taught me. I don’t know what my future writing life will look like, but I do know, thanks to Charon, that I’ll have one.
My question for you: when you look at your writing life attitude, are you channeling your inner Charon?
Me? Thinking about hanging up the typewriter?
You bet!
Books sales have dropped off the face of the planet. I can never find the time to invest in the marketing required to find new readers now that my podcast audience has dried up. I’m currently writing the fourth, yes, fourth novel since July 5th of this year and am losing creative steam because of the crisis of confidence from the book’s sales for RIP, making a previously enjoyable project about as enticing as a trip to see the mall Santa when you don’t have kids.
The situation isn’t helped with a current battle with unemployment—a harsh reality that can force cracks in even the most secure and confident of people.
The compounding effects of bad breaks and misfortune have me entertaining a lot of thoughts of giving up this dream of a successful publishing career. As enjoyable as creating is, there’s so much more to life than sitting behind a keyboard, inside the house—I’m an outdoor person—sacrificing time, money, and mental energy when it feels like no one is interested. Hell, writers exist in a world of $5 cups of coffee or $7 craft beers; where people balk at paying $3 for a full novel that will outlast a hundred coffees or beers (drinking while reading awesome fiction is not recommended).
Why continue giving up mornings to write when I could get much-needed sleep; sacrificing lunch breaks to try and figure out the Amazon ad bidding secrets when I could, oh, I don’t know, try to unwind before returning to the work that bleeds my soul dry; or forgoing free nights to cram social media posts in between dinner, walking the dogs, and preparing for the next day, instead of spending that time with family? It’s all too much.
Why Not Quit?
I was on the edge of doing that this weekend.
Then, I met Charon Spain.
Well, I didn’t meet him, but he crossed my radar when I looked at the fight card for that night’s MMA event. You see, out of the 9 bouts, all fighters except for two had less than 10 professional fights to their name. One guy was 11-3 and was fighting for the championship. The other guy with more than 10 fights? The aforementioned Charon Spain.
And what a record he had! Coming into the night, Charon’s record was 16-33 in 49 fights. Yes, 49 professional fights; three times as many as the next closest competitor—who was fighting for the championship belt, remember?
The fact that Charon had the guts to fight in that many battles initially caught my attention. His poor record is what made me call him “my champion� before the fights even started. I like rooting for the underdog.
I mean, come on, people. This is MMA; one of the most physical, bloody sports in the world. Not only had Charon fought 49 times professionally, but he’d lost twice as many times as he’d won. Now, I don’t know the nature of his losses, but I’ve watched enough MMA to know he was probably in pain more times than not. Thirty-three times!
There is a soft spot in my heart for a person like that, a person without quit.
Time To Fight
If you’ve never been to an MMA event, you most likely don’t know that introductions for fighters include where each fighter trained and prepared—sort of giving props to those who helped them get where they are. During Charon’s introduction, the announcer stated he “trained independently.� That’s right, Charon Spain has no gym, no trainer. He was preparing for fights out in Yakima without a coach or a dedicated gym/fight school. Charon had prepared for this night all alone.
Yes, it endeared him even more to me. (He ended up being the only fighter on the 18-fighter card without a gym.)
This guy walked to the ring alone, stripping down to his ring attire, knowing that 2 out of 3 times he loses (and probably gets his ass kicked in the process—remember, this is MMA). Not only was he out there alone, but he’d been alone throughout his journey. No one there to push him on. No one around to encourage him when he might have doubted himself. No one to pull him back down when he got too lofty in ambitions and confidence.
I mean, how can you not root for someone like that?
Charon received a lukewarm welcome from most of the crowd while his opponent’s friends/family jeered him from his corner of the ring.
I cheered louder for him.
No Quit
See, here’s the thing about my champion. Charon Spain taught me a lesson that night he didn’t know I needed.
Every writer goes through a period where they just want the self-inflicted pain of trying to reach their writing goals to stop. Publishing is very hard, doubly-hard if you’re an Indie author because you’re doing most (if not all) of the work that takes an idea to something a reader holds in their hands 8,000 miles away. It’s an exercise in vulnerability; you put yourself out there and rarely does the world provide positive feedback, preferring to give unhelpful comments about your art or, worse, silence.
Too many times, you bleed on the page, and no one cares.
That’s why I’ve been toying with the idea of quitting. It takes so much to do this right, and if you don’t have the right friends or the right type of luck, it can feel overwhelming, depressing, and hopeless.
That’s been my writing journey throughout the spring, summer, and into the fall of 2019.
U-Turn
But then Charon Spain, intervened, teaching me a valuable lesson through his own passion and dreams.
He could have quit well before reaching 49 pro matches. He could have stopped each time an opponent knocked him down or choked him out. When his record first hit that unceremonious mark of two losses for every win, he could have put the gloves away forever.
Think about it; for every time he succeeded at something, he failed twice.
And that made me examine my writing journey, right then and there, while he fought.
Right now, let’s be honest, I’m failing. I have more real-life friends (and I don’t run in big circles) than total reviews for my four books on Amazon—and those reviews mostly came from people involved in my projects early on, the truly supportive people. That means most of the world doesn’t care enough about my stories to take a few minutes to tell the world they enjoyed them. RIP isn’t selling and there could be a million reasons why, reasons I have to decipher in between job hunting and trying to survive. Novel Idea to Podcast: How to Sell More Books Through Podcasting and Chasing the Demon move a little bit each, but 12 Deaths of Christmas is in free-fall since pulling it out of being exclusive to Amazon. The audience I leaned on in the past dried up with the conclusion of my fiction podcasts and I don’t have the resources to reengage them. It’s all so overwhelming.
But then, when I look at it through Charon’s 2-failures-for-each-success model, I see inspiration. I write because I love it. I want to be able to support myself from it because I want to do more of it, not because I want a home in the mountains (though that would be nice). But it’s not going to be easy and there are going to be times when I get knocked down, or put in a chokehold.
There will be moments in your writing journey when you think you have momentum and then someone shocks you with a superman punch.
Some fighters have access to better gyms. Some writers have access to connections.
Some fighters can afford better trainers. Some writers can afford better editors or flights to all the conferences in the world to make all the connections with all the important people.
Who knows if your journey will contain any breaks, let alone all those? But there is one thing guaranteed along the writing path.
If you stay in the game long enough, there will be times when you get put out and the ref raises the other guy’s arm. And if you quit at that point, you’re guaranteed to not achieve your writing goals. Stay in the game long enough and you will always have a fighting chance.
A chance to live your own Charon Spain moment, a moment when you get to prove your doubters wrong.
To win at that day's writing game.
And live to fight another.
In the end, isn’t that all we can ask for? A chance to keep going?
When Charon Spain made his opponent tap out (give up,) his hand was deservedly raised as the winner of the bout that fateful night. But, in truth, someone with 50 MMA fights, who refuses to quit even with a 17-33 record, will always be a winner.
I was pulled back from the precipice by this young fighter and won’t forget what he taught me. I don’t know what my future writing life will look like, but I do know, thanks to Charon, that I’ll have one.
My question for you: when you look at your writing life attitude, are you channeling your inner Charon?
Writing Structure: The Not-So-Sexy Key to Hitting Writing Goals
BLUF: All About Structure
If you're serious about publishing, you need structure in your writing life.
Here's a brief outline of what my writing day looked like when I was employed:
4:45 am - 5:00 am - Check & update Amazon rankings spreadsheet
5:00 am - 7: 15 am - Uninterrupted writing (except for coffee refills)
Lunch - Research time (read a writer blog, a marketing FAQ, anything to address my crappy business side of writing)
8:00 pm - 8:45 pm - Check & update Amazon ad stats
As you can see, writing (especially as an Indie) can be an intense journey. There's a lot to get done and, unless you have some magic I'm not aware of, you only have 24 hours in your day too.
You have to dedicate time to do these things. Instead of turning the TV on at night, why not also bring the laptop to the couch and get some ad work done?
And for those of you seeking the Trad route, don't think you get off free. Unless you landed a Big House deal, you're going to need to know the business side as well because small houses don't have the staffing or money to do it for your book (especially if it isn't a new release).
Questions:
What part of your structure works well?
Where does it need a little more TLC?
(Are you even thinking about these things?)
If you're serious about publishing, you need structure in your writing life.
Here's a brief outline of what my writing day looked like when I was employed:
4:45 am - 5:00 am - Check & update Amazon rankings spreadsheet
5:00 am - 7: 15 am - Uninterrupted writing (except for coffee refills)
Lunch - Research time (read a writer blog, a marketing FAQ, anything to address my crappy business side of writing)
8:00 pm - 8:45 pm - Check & update Amazon ad stats
As you can see, writing (especially as an Indie) can be an intense journey. There's a lot to get done and, unless you have some magic I'm not aware of, you only have 24 hours in your day too.
You have to dedicate time to do these things. Instead of turning the TV on at night, why not also bring the laptop to the couch and get some ad work done?
And for those of you seeking the Trad route, don't think you get off free. Unless you landed a Big House deal, you're going to need to know the business side as well because small houses don't have the staffing or money to do it for your book (especially if it isn't a new release).
Questions:
What part of your structure works well?
Where does it need a little more TLC?
(Are you even thinking about these things?)
Measuring Small Wins
BLUF: Measure the little things.
I don't sell thousands of copies of books a month. Most times, I don't even sell hundreds.
I'm not writing full-time because I've made it. I'm writing full-time because I lost my job and, at my age and qualifications, I'm too much of a risk to hire.
I'm not waiting to hit the NYT or USA Today Bestsellers list (one; they're corrupt--read up on how positions can be bought) and I'm not into "ego metrics."
And one thing I'm DEFINITELY not is the type of author who needs a seven-figure bank account before I realize I've "won" at being an author.
I talk about it on the podcast a lot, but I also know a lot of you don't listen to Horrible Writing--though I'm not sure why since I have such a soothing and relaxing style and presentation--but I talk about recognizing your small wins along the path to and through publishing.
The pic here is an example from last night (when I was supposed to be focusing on a Cher concert).
A friend snapped this pic for me last night and sent it while I was at Cher with my lovely wife. It's from one of our local libraries and he was kind enough to capture the moment for me because he gets writers and knows how fragile we can be. These "Reader Picks" are chosen by library patrons and, apparently, someone in the Olympia area thinks my debut novel from last summer is worthy of a little public love.
Now, this placement in a local library won't get me hundreds of buys on the Amazon store. I won't be called by the Seattle news to do a culture piece. Hell, no one might even look at this book case and see my myth, legend, lore thriller sitting there.
But for me, Paul the author, this is the type of small win I need from time to time to keep going, to keep sustaining and pushing through all the crap in my head that tells me to stop writing and apply for crap jobs with crap salaries so that I can get back in the workforce. Its the type of win that reminds me, yes, I need to always improve my craft, but I'm not nearly as crappy as the inner critic tries to convince me I am.
My question to you: What small wins are you paying attention to and which ones are you ignoring, and why?
I don't sell thousands of copies of books a month. Most times, I don't even sell hundreds.
I'm not writing full-time because I've made it. I'm writing full-time because I lost my job and, at my age and qualifications, I'm too much of a risk to hire.
I'm not waiting to hit the NYT or USA Today Bestsellers list (one; they're corrupt--read up on how positions can be bought) and I'm not into "ego metrics."
And one thing I'm DEFINITELY not is the type of author who needs a seven-figure bank account before I realize I've "won" at being an author.
I talk about it on the podcast a lot, but I also know a lot of you don't listen to Horrible Writing--though I'm not sure why since I have such a soothing and relaxing style and presentation--but I talk about recognizing your small wins along the path to and through publishing.
The pic here is an example from last night (when I was supposed to be focusing on a Cher concert).
A friend snapped this pic for me last night and sent it while I was at Cher with my lovely wife. It's from one of our local libraries and he was kind enough to capture the moment for me because he gets writers and knows how fragile we can be. These "Reader Picks" are chosen by library patrons and, apparently, someone in the Olympia area thinks my debut novel from last summer is worthy of a little public love.
Now, this placement in a local library won't get me hundreds of buys on the Amazon store. I won't be called by the Seattle news to do a culture piece. Hell, no one might even look at this book case and see my myth, legend, lore thriller sitting there.
But for me, Paul the author, this is the type of small win I need from time to time to keep going, to keep sustaining and pushing through all the crap in my head that tells me to stop writing and apply for crap jobs with crap salaries so that I can get back in the workforce. Its the type of win that reminds me, yes, I need to always improve my craft, but I'm not nearly as crappy as the inner critic tries to convince me I am.
My question to you: What small wins are you paying attention to and which ones are you ignoring, and why?
May 22, 2018
The Big Bang Part I - Why You Should Start an Audio Drama
When I decided to begin creating audio drama I did it with one thing in mind, and that goal had nothing to do with becoming a published author.
Back in 2015, I wanted to get into audio drama (otherwise referenced as fictional podcasting) because I noticed the immense success of shows like Welcome to Night Vale and We’re Alive. And I wanted to be part of that scene. It seemed exciting, from the outside looking in.
I had been involved in podcasting for a number of years, but what I was doing was nothing remotely as fun as working in fiction. I decided to change that one fateful spring day in 2015. I wanted to play in other locations, maybe even other worlds, with new faces and the fresh ideas that only fiction can provide.
What I didn’t anticipate was falling in love with my first love so deeply. Not again. ‘First loves� were called such for more than chronological reasons. First loves are unique, special, and a one-time deal. Like many instances in life, the first experience is life altering. We’re never quite the same person we were after we’ve experienced that thing for the first time.
Fiction was that love for me. I started writing as an eight-year-old. It was during a school assignment. But I dug into it with a level of enthusiasm that only youth can inject into one’s creativity. And I won that 2nd grade writing contest (yes, it was still okay back then to have contests and determine that someone had to be the winner) with an amazing story about werewolves and vampires. You may have heard of it; it was pretty popular.
No, not that one.
Mine was set in Central New York and vampires still work cloaks in my version.
Sadly, I have to admit that I can only joke about my fame as well. Even after such an amazing start to a writing career, it (success) never came.
But my love of writing never faded. I did what most people do. Finished high school and went and became an adult. And that journey took me further and further away from my creative pursuits with each passing day. I had a full-time job in the military, became a husband, and too shortly thereafter, became a father. I pursued educational and personal goals that had nothing to do with my creativity or creative pursuits. The most creative endeavors I enjoyed centered around my military job. And trust me; none of them were fulfilling. In fact, I rarely had a creative idea outside of writing music for well over a decade.
The muse was dead.
In early 2006 I was suddenly a single, broke father. I had two girls to care for and only one income. To make matters worse, I lived in a major metropolitan area on the East Coast that didn’t provide many public school options, forcing me into difficult financial choices in order to provide for my daughters. One of the unforeseen blessings of that experience (and how often can we be enthused by not having any money?) was the fact that being broke kept me at home often. And I began to write again.
The result was that I completed my first novel, a 300,000+ word fantasy. I wrote it in nine months and was able to get 180,000 words into the second book in the series before Uncle Sam decided that I needed to spend some time in Iraq. Within six months of coming home from that tour of duty, I found myself leaving my family again. This time it was for a year and it was the far east that was on the itinerary. As disruption (and real life) is wont to do to many creatives, my writing took a back seat and disappeared for a number of years.
The odd reality about things you love is that they never truly go away. I felt the call to create again when I heard those episodes of the aforementioned audio dramas. Most importantly, I began to write for the first time in nearly a decade in a format (scriptwriting) I’d never studied or even cracked open a ‘dummies� book on. The result was a satirical comedy podcast known as Atheist Apocalypse (since defunct). There were a lot of rough edges and a lot of regrettable experiences in creating that show. But, what it did for me that changed the course of my life was that it helped me discover that there were thousands and thousands of people in the world who wanted to hear my stories. It was undeniable; I wanted to be involved in fiction again. So I soon started putting thought to other projects. That’s where the concept behind Subject: Found was born. It was with that show that I realized the full potential of audio drama. The download numbers were insane and the growth of the audience vociferous and evident.
I had found my tribe.
I saw the potential in the art form. What I also saw was a potential avenue to get back to writing a novel. Now, more than two years later, I have four complete novels in various store forms of publication or preparation for publication. There are plans for over 30 novels waiting for me to find the time to get to them (in addition to the 48 story ideas I have for Subject: Found). There are over 10 unpublished audio dramas sitting on my hard drive, of different genres, waiting for the market to change or for me to suddenly fall face-first into a whole lot of free time. All of these stories could easily be adapted to novel form. Each and every day, my audience grows and the support for my work strengthens. It’s an absolutely humbling experience, one I still cannot believe I’m lucky enough to enjoy.
I plan on doing a number of blog entries about my journey in hopes that I reach other quiet writers who don’t think they can (or will) ever find an audience for their work.
Let me be very clear: you can.
So, follow along with me on this ride. It is my hope that I can share tidbits with you that will empower and encourage you to chase your dream.
Back in 2015, I wanted to get into audio drama (otherwise referenced as fictional podcasting) because I noticed the immense success of shows like Welcome to Night Vale and We’re Alive. And I wanted to be part of that scene. It seemed exciting, from the outside looking in.
I had been involved in podcasting for a number of years, but what I was doing was nothing remotely as fun as working in fiction. I decided to change that one fateful spring day in 2015. I wanted to play in other locations, maybe even other worlds, with new faces and the fresh ideas that only fiction can provide.
What I didn’t anticipate was falling in love with my first love so deeply. Not again. ‘First loves� were called such for more than chronological reasons. First loves are unique, special, and a one-time deal. Like many instances in life, the first experience is life altering. We’re never quite the same person we were after we’ve experienced that thing for the first time.
Fiction was that love for me. I started writing as an eight-year-old. It was during a school assignment. But I dug into it with a level of enthusiasm that only youth can inject into one’s creativity. And I won that 2nd grade writing contest (yes, it was still okay back then to have contests and determine that someone had to be the winner) with an amazing story about werewolves and vampires. You may have heard of it; it was pretty popular.
No, not that one.
Mine was set in Central New York and vampires still work cloaks in my version.
Sadly, I have to admit that I can only joke about my fame as well. Even after such an amazing start to a writing career, it (success) never came.
But my love of writing never faded. I did what most people do. Finished high school and went and became an adult. And that journey took me further and further away from my creative pursuits with each passing day. I had a full-time job in the military, became a husband, and too shortly thereafter, became a father. I pursued educational and personal goals that had nothing to do with my creativity or creative pursuits. The most creative endeavors I enjoyed centered around my military job. And trust me; none of them were fulfilling. In fact, I rarely had a creative idea outside of writing music for well over a decade.
The muse was dead.
In early 2006 I was suddenly a single, broke father. I had two girls to care for and only one income. To make matters worse, I lived in a major metropolitan area on the East Coast that didn’t provide many public school options, forcing me into difficult financial choices in order to provide for my daughters. One of the unforeseen blessings of that experience (and how often can we be enthused by not having any money?) was the fact that being broke kept me at home often. And I began to write again.
The result was that I completed my first novel, a 300,000+ word fantasy. I wrote it in nine months and was able to get 180,000 words into the second book in the series before Uncle Sam decided that I needed to spend some time in Iraq. Within six months of coming home from that tour of duty, I found myself leaving my family again. This time it was for a year and it was the far east that was on the itinerary. As disruption (and real life) is wont to do to many creatives, my writing took a back seat and disappeared for a number of years.
The odd reality about things you love is that they never truly go away. I felt the call to create again when I heard those episodes of the aforementioned audio dramas. Most importantly, I began to write for the first time in nearly a decade in a format (scriptwriting) I’d never studied or even cracked open a ‘dummies� book on. The result was a satirical comedy podcast known as Atheist Apocalypse (since defunct). There were a lot of rough edges and a lot of regrettable experiences in creating that show. But, what it did for me that changed the course of my life was that it helped me discover that there were thousands and thousands of people in the world who wanted to hear my stories. It was undeniable; I wanted to be involved in fiction again. So I soon started putting thought to other projects. That’s where the concept behind Subject: Found was born. It was with that show that I realized the full potential of audio drama. The download numbers were insane and the growth of the audience vociferous and evident.
I had found my tribe.
I saw the potential in the art form. What I also saw was a potential avenue to get back to writing a novel. Now, more than two years later, I have four complete novels in various store forms of publication or preparation for publication. There are plans for over 30 novels waiting for me to find the time to get to them (in addition to the 48 story ideas I have for Subject: Found). There are over 10 unpublished audio dramas sitting on my hard drive, of different genres, waiting for the market to change or for me to suddenly fall face-first into a whole lot of free time. All of these stories could easily be adapted to novel form. Each and every day, my audience grows and the support for my work strengthens. It’s an absolutely humbling experience, one I still cannot believe I’m lucky enough to enjoy.
I plan on doing a number of blog entries about my journey in hopes that I reach other quiet writers who don’t think they can (or will) ever find an audience for their work.
Let me be very clear: you can.
So, follow along with me on this ride. It is my hope that I can share tidbits with you that will empower and encourage you to chase your dream.
