Elaine Alec's Blog
October 7, 2020
living with chronic pain
I’ve been struggling with my #chronicpain so much that I gave myself the excuse to not workout. I was giving myself a break. I have been cranky and irritable. I have not felt good. I have been pushing through the pain.
The other day I had a conversation with my husband to check in. I let him know I wanted to communicate because when I’m in pain I tend to push people away and play self-defeating games.
He told me that the way I was going, was going to end me up in bed unable to do anything. I haven’t been working out or eating well. He told me I’ve been complaining about everything every day.
I could have got offended, I could have been mad at him for telling me this. I could have justified my complaining because I’ve just felt horrible, tired, in pain. But I decided to think about it.
I have been complaining and negative and miserable. I’ve been slipping into self-defeating behaviours. So last night after all my online sessions I went and did 20 minutes on the elliptical.
This morning I went out and did 30 minutes. I feel better, yes I’m still sore and in pain, but my mood is better, I feel better, I ate better today.
I have been practicing taking advice. I practice not being offended. I know my husbands love language is acts of service and when I’m sick or sore he sends me exercises and articles. He doesn’t feel sorry for me and I could take that as he doesn’t care but I know he knows I know (lol) what I need to be doing. I know how he feels as I have watched people I love become sick and continue to have self defeating behaviours.
My book talks about a necessary condition for creating safe spaces is self-awareness. To always be willing to look inward. It’s an every day practice.
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Thank you everyone for your love, support, prayers and awesomeness! Having a memoir in the world about healing and self-love really makes you be accountable lol
The other day I had a conversation with my husband to check in. I let him know I wanted to communicate because when I’m in pain I tend to push people away and play self-defeating games.
He told me that the way I was going, was going to end me up in bed unable to do anything. I haven’t been working out or eating well. He told me I’ve been complaining about everything every day.
I could have got offended, I could have been mad at him for telling me this. I could have justified my complaining because I’ve just felt horrible, tired, in pain. But I decided to think about it.
I have been complaining and negative and miserable. I’ve been slipping into self-defeating behaviours. So last night after all my online sessions I went and did 20 minutes on the elliptical.
This morning I went out and did 30 minutes. I feel better, yes I’m still sore and in pain, but my mood is better, I feel better, I ate better today.
I have been practicing taking advice. I practice not being offended. I know my husbands love language is acts of service and when I’m sick or sore he sends me exercises and articles. He doesn’t feel sorry for me and I could take that as he doesn’t care but I know he knows I know (lol) what I need to be doing. I know how he feels as I have watched people I love become sick and continue to have self defeating behaviours.
My book talks about a necessary condition for creating safe spaces is self-awareness. To always be willing to look inward. It’s an every day practice.
�
Thank you everyone for your love, support, prayers and awesomeness! Having a memoir in the world about healing and self-love really makes you be accountable lol
August 17, 2020
Instagram 3K Photo Contest
Photo Credit: Elise Eichmuller (Instagram Account: I am so excited to announce my 3K Instagram Photo Contest. I will be hosting something similar on Facebook in September! Here are the details for the Instagram Photo Contest.
⭐️3K THANK YOU PHOTO CONTEST⭐️
oContestTo enter:
1. You must have a real copy of my paperback book to enter (no jpgs of the book)
2. Hashtag your photo
3. Tag
4. Share a thought or two about the book “Calling My Spirit Back�
⭐️ PRIZE FOR: Most Creative Photo of Book $300 Value CANADIAN
$150 CAD in CASH, a free seat in Elaine’s September Cultivating Safe Spaces Session ($99 value) A set of 5 Calling My Spirit Back Thank You Cards ($20 value) Chapters Indigo Gift Card ($30 value)
⭐️ PRIZE FOR: Action Photo of someone reading my book $300 Value CANADIAN
$150 CAD in CASH, a free seat in Elaine’s September Cultivating Safe Spaces Session ($99 value) A set of 5 Calling My Spirit Back Thank You Cards ($20 value) Chapters Indigo Gift Card ($30 value)
Make sure your photo is creative. Use your own image and that your account is public so we can see your entry. There are no restrictions on the number of times you can enter.
Entries are open for four weeks from August 15, 2020 to September 12, 2020 at 12:00 pm PST.
By entering this photo contest, you acknowledge your photo may be featured on
August 10, 2020
My first month as an author
On July 17, 2020 I posted this photo on my Facebook and since then it has received over 2000 shares and 62,000 engagements on Facebook. I have received an overwhelming number of messages and emails from people as they have read my book and connected with my stories.
I have shared much of my journey on my as I've moved through the writing, the editing, the publishing and the marketing. I even shared a video about the anxiety I was starting to experience as a result of the support and love.
I had a conversation with my cousin who has helped me throughout the years by being a support, a sounding board, a voice of reason. We talked about how we were so comfortable sitting in trauma, chaos and uncertainty. We were comfortable with feeling inadequate and failure but when it came to feelings of happiness and success, we had feelings of anxiety because we didn't know how to accept it.
I have been working really hard on accepting the love and feeling deserving of it. The feelings have been very overwhelming but I am starting to settle into it as the hype has started to subside.
MEDIA AND PUBLICITY
So far I have been interviewed by CBC and IndigiNews which is connected to APTN and Discourse Media. I have also been invited to participate in a variety of podcasts, IGTV interviews and a FB live interview with First Nations Forward. It's been a really cool experience doing a virtual book tour. I've met some amazing people with huge hearts and a desire to learn about Indigenous Peoples, understand racism and using their platform to showcase Women of Colour.
BOOK REVIEWS
I have learned the importance of book reviews! If you have a traditional publisher, their job is to make sure you have enough books and digital copies to send out to their list of book reviewers. I have been making sure to meet people and interact with them, and I have sent out my book to a dozen people who have touched my heart, people who I see making a difference. If you are a book reviewer and are interested in reviewing my book, please send me an email to [email protected]
If you've already purchased my book and would like to continue to support me, you can leave a review on:Goodreads Reviews or
GOODREADS GIVEAWAY
is the self-publishing company that I have been working with. They set up a ŷ Giveaway for me. Unfortunately(for all my Canadian family and friends) it is only open for US residents. FORTUNATELY, for my US friends and family, you can enter HERE for a chance to win 1 of 100 ebooks. The giveaway contest ends on August 30th.
lim ləmt |THANK YOU
We almost halfway through AUGUST!! How crazy is that. I will share some links to some more podcasts as they are released. I am almost at 3,000 followers on Instagram! If you aren't following me on Instagram yet, PLEASE DO! I'd love to do a really cool 3K Giveaway soon!
July 10, 2020
Why we didn't need the rcmp
From the moment I was born, my tema (my mom's mom) spoke to me in our nsyilxcen language.
She would tell me bedtime stories that included our senklip (coyote) stories.
These stories shared lessons about why it was so important to listen to your elders. They told us what it was important to share space with all living things and that you never took more than you needed.
Our stories talked about the importance of all beings, even the small, annoying and insignificant ones. Our stories talked about valuing each other and understanding that each being had purpose even if we didn't like them. Even if we disagreed with them. Even if we didn't think like them.
All of our families had roles within our community and took care of different areas. We had a well functioning governing system that built its foundation on trust, respect and faith.
We were able to have trust, respect and faith because the messaging we received as children, told us we were loved and safe, and when we are loved and safe, we are trusting, respectful and have faith in each other.
We are told these stories over and over again by our elders. When you are given the same messaging over and over again, it becomes a part of you and forms the way you think, believe and behave.
For example, if we are told we are worthless and stupid, over and over again. We begin to believe it and it becomes a part of us and it drives the way we think, believe and behave.
When our children approached the age of four years old, they were urged in different ways to find their helper. Once the child found their help, it stayed with them for the rest of their lives.
Sometimes the helpers were animals, sometimes they were spirits, sometimes they were natural elements. As the child grew and would see their helper, they would be told, "See, the Creator is checking up on you to let you know you are cared for and loved. The Creator loves you so much that your helper is sent to remind you that you are loved."
Can you imagine, what that would be like? To be told stories every day that reminds you that you have purpose. That reminds you that you are special and loved and have a role to play during your time on earth?
Those were the messages told to our children and it became a part of who they were. We were told that when you do certain things that were not good, there were consequences. We told stories that helped our children be quiet at night. We did not have to yell or punish them to make them listen.
We did not need RCMP to police and make rules or enforce the law. We all knew what our roles were.
Today we live in a society where the education systems creates an environment that promotes inadequacy. If you don't do good enough based on its standards, you are a failure.
Can you imagine a world where our education system told our stories over and over again for all children? Where children were taken on the land to learn about the importance of responsibility and regeneration. Where all children were told they have purpose and feel a sense of belonging?
Where those messages were repeated every day throughout their childhood and not just as a one time block during National Indigenous Peoples Day?
She would tell me bedtime stories that included our senklip (coyote) stories.
These stories shared lessons about why it was so important to listen to your elders. They told us what it was important to share space with all living things and that you never took more than you needed.
Our stories talked about the importance of all beings, even the small, annoying and insignificant ones. Our stories talked about valuing each other and understanding that each being had purpose even if we didn't like them. Even if we disagreed with them. Even if we didn't think like them.
All of our families had roles within our community and took care of different areas. We had a well functioning governing system that built its foundation on trust, respect and faith.
We were able to have trust, respect and faith because the messaging we received as children, told us we were loved and safe, and when we are loved and safe, we are trusting, respectful and have faith in each other.
We are told these stories over and over again by our elders. When you are given the same messaging over and over again, it becomes a part of you and forms the way you think, believe and behave.
For example, if we are told we are worthless and stupid, over and over again. We begin to believe it and it becomes a part of us and it drives the way we think, believe and behave.
When our children approached the age of four years old, they were urged in different ways to find their helper. Once the child found their help, it stayed with them for the rest of their lives.
Sometimes the helpers were animals, sometimes they were spirits, sometimes they were natural elements. As the child grew and would see their helper, they would be told, "See, the Creator is checking up on you to let you know you are cared for and loved. The Creator loves you so much that your helper is sent to remind you that you are loved."
Can you imagine, what that would be like? To be told stories every day that reminds you that you have purpose. That reminds you that you are special and loved and have a role to play during your time on earth?
Those were the messages told to our children and it became a part of who they were. We were told that when you do certain things that were not good, there were consequences. We told stories that helped our children be quiet at night. We did not have to yell or punish them to make them listen.
We did not need RCMP to police and make rules or enforce the law. We all knew what our roles were.
Today we live in a society where the education systems creates an environment that promotes inadequacy. If you don't do good enough based on its standards, you are a failure.
Can you imagine a world where our education system told our stories over and over again for all children? Where children were taken on the land to learn about the importance of responsibility and regeneration. Where all children were told they have purpose and feel a sense of belonging?
Where those messages were repeated every day throughout their childhood and not just as a one time block during National Indigenous Peoples Day?
June 28, 2020
June 26, 2020
Pieces of myself
On this day I did my 30 minute presentation at the 50th Anniversary of the Union of British Columbia Indian Chiefs Annual General Assembly. My presentation was on Pathways to Healing... I decided to not mask my emotions.. I gave myself permission to cry..The Union of British Columbia Indian Chiefs (UBCIC) meetings are specific to Indigenous Chiefs and Leadership in British Columbia to talk about Indigenous Title and Rights and Human Rights.
UBCIC has a Women's Representative that is elected by the Chiefs of British Columbia and her portfolio is usually specific to "women's issues" and advocating for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women & Girls. It is the most difficult roles I have ever filled in my life.
During this presentation, I cried. I talked about my childhood and the moments when I felt what true love was. Those moments were with my tema Ellen Alec.
I talked about her teachings and also about the not so great moments of my childhood from abandonment and sexual abuse and I talked about my upcoming sobriety birthday and how I’ve worked to forgive myself for my character defects... and I talked about my husband Ryan, how he has taught me to be vulnerable and has taught me about self love... and Grand Chief Stewart Phillip who has always taken the time to pull me aside and ground me with teachings from a love based place.
I talked about my position as the UBCIC Women’s Representative and how many women come to me and share their story.. and that they feel they can’t share their stories of sexual assault or harassment or incest.....yet.. and how hearing them over and over at every meeting I attend... has made me angry...
I talked about my experience and how I was affected when I was sexually assaulted by someone in leadership and I explained how something might seem small to them, a touch, a comment or a joke.. but to be mindful that most likely a woman has dealt with these things her entire life and that those little things contribute to ongoing trauma.
I talked about our leadership in BC.. how proud I have been of them for sitting and listening and learning and paying attention to these uncomfortable issues... that I had faith in them that they would continue to learn and protect our women..
I talked about the upcoming Assembly of First Nations Christmas Gala in Ottawa and the amount of drinking that happens and how unsafe those events are for our women... that every one of those galas and networking events results in the assault and sexual harassment of our women... and how those women are so afraid to say something... I asked our chiefs.. if they decide to attend one of these galas, that they pay attention and speak up if they see something...
I would like to see our political organizations follow the lead of UBCIC and refrain from serving alcohol at events.. especially if there are going to be cultural components.. but just to create a safe space for our women and youth overall... our events should be a celebration where wives and elders and children are welcome and do not have to feel afraid or unsafe... it’s a simple request to make safe spaces...
I talked about our work on Pathways to Healing and how we are creating policies to protect women and how we are working to ensure we create safe pathways for women, men, elders and youth.. and our women have mentioned that we also have to ensure those discussions are inclusive of 2 Spirit and non-binary individuals.
I acknowledged how our leadership are often abused at home and it wasn’t my intention to make them feel like they were doing something else wrong...
I talked about healing for self, forgiveness and self love. That if we are not healing as individuals then we can’t heal or help our families, our communities or our land... these discussions do deserve to be at these tables...
I am thankful for all the women who came to support me so I could cry and share from my heart.. I had asked for medicine because I forgot mine... and these women and elders became my strength.
I will not hold back tears because it makes you uncomfortable. I will not stay quiet about things we used to keep quiet. As women, we have built up so many walls so that we're not called weak or overly emotional. We end up leading from places that aren't authentic to who we are as women.I will not leave pieces of myself at the door to sit at this table.❤️
I am a deserving woman who loves herself, gathering and sharing the knowledge of our ancestors to promote healing for the mind body and spirit... thank you Liz Sms for sharing this photo❤️
