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How many times have you told yourself, “If only I could get rid of all the busy work, I’d do great things?��

We’ve all thought that way! Cal Newport is a Georgetown University computer science professor and author who studies the intersection of technology and society. His�� has actually changed the way I work at a fundamental level. He gives us hope that we can still do those things we know in our hearts we’re capable of, but we can’t get to them because of all the distractions that get in our way.

Cal’s a leader of the social media reform movement, which is all about stopping the assumption that we have to be a big part of the social media scene. He doesn’t suggest we abandon it altogether. A lot of us enjoy social media. And most of us need to be connected at some level for our work. But we also allow it and plenty of other distractions to overwhelm us–and we are often regretful we “give in.�� Why? Because we don’t get to work on the projects that really speak to us. As a consequence, we don’t get to be our best selves.

Newport’s book is so compelling, I’m going to reconsider every aspect of my efforts online and see what needs to go and what needs to stay in order for me to do more deep work. Of course, as a writer, I do deep work already. I have to so that I can create a book. But we all need (and want) to work deeply, whatever field we’re in. We need the time and space to explore our potential.

I highly recommend buying this book for the whole family–kids in high school, college, post-grads out in the work force, yourself, your partner, your parent (by the way, I don’t have affiliate links at this point, so don’t think I’m getting any money for recommending this!)

Three big, life-changing ideas I got from this book are:

1) Deep work helps you quickly learn hard things, and in this economy, that’s a real advantage.�� Would you rather be known as the email queen–or the person in the office who produced the most exciting project of the year?

Serious, intense, isolated study is what got people like Bill Gates to the top of his game. When he first started, he literally would fall asleep over his keyboard and wake up an hour later to finish writing code.

If you can master the art of ignoring distractions, you have a clear advantage professionally. Because most of us can’t! That’s the plain and simple truth. It takes a while to train your brain to do deep work, but it’s worth it.

2) The trendy open-office concept isn’t as great as you think. Connectivity is important with your colleagues, but just as important is time alone to do deep work without distractions. In fact, Cal Newton says that’s more important for your success. He talks about the “spoke-and-hub�� office environment that’s most conducive to success: you meet in the hub to exchange ideas with your colleagues, and then you retreat to your “spoke.�� He also discusses whether it’s possible to do collaborative deep work, and of course, it is. But success there is not as common as you’d think.

Photo courtesy of MILKOVÍ at Unsplash

3) Don’t fall into the “any-benefit�� mentality: just because you might be getting one or two benefits from using a certain kind of social media doesn’t mean it’s advantageous for you to be active there. Get over FOMO (fear of missing out).

Okey doke, if you’re trying to pare down your distractions, give this eye-opening, blunt book a read. Buckle your seatbelts! A lot of assumptions you have about how you’re already working your schedule in the most efficient way possible so you can do deep work might go out the window. There’s a better way to achieve success, Cal Newton promises us. There’s a better way to live a fulfilled, happy life–and it’s by using deep work to get you there.

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We take our ability to do most things for granted. Write because your fingers can move and your brain can think and your heart can sing and you are here

What’s home to you? This is where I grew up, under the branches of a massive oak tree on Bohicket Creek on Johns Island. Sounds idyllic, but try being thirteen and living out in the boondocks with no friends nearby! I didn’t realize at the time that this isolated setting made my imagination my best friend. It’s why I like to tell stories, I’m sure of it.

Even though I don’t live on this property anymore, every time I visit my parents I remember that in a way it will be my home forever—because it was there that I first discovered not only myself and the natural world but the deeper mystery that binds us—leaf and human—together.

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The outdoor shower at the dock in my neighborhood on Johns Island, South Carolina

I kind of like the daily dust, so I’m trying to figure out what Picasso means here. I don’t think he’s saying reject the ordinary. I think it’s more like using the ordinary as a portal to the Really Real.

What do you think? When was the last time you had a philosophical discussion? Or taken a shower outdoors?

Just back from a great weekend at Chapel Hill. Nothing beats a college town…there’s so much energy! But there are also pockets of quirky beauty (like this caboose in Carrboro, the hipster town adjacent to the main campus at the University of North Carolina) and happy meanderings down quiet, leafy streets.

Who can’t wait for fall? Raise your hand!!

Just back from a great weekend at Chapel Hill. Nothing beats a college town…there’s so much energy! But there are also pockets of quirky beauty (like this caboose in Carrboro, the hipster town adjacent to the main campus at the University of North Carolina) and happy meanderings down quiet, leafy streets.

Who can’t wait for fall? Raise your hand!!

Heading home from Chapel Hill.

YAY!! They’re back!!! And what a way to start Season 15��.you can find��my Pinnable/IG postable Kardashian haikus at the end of this post. I’ll be following up my little episode recap with five fabulous ones!

First of all, I love these women, every one of them. I speak as one of four sisters. I respect their bond, their heartaches, their authenticity. Kudos, Mama Kris, for producing such a lovely family.

My main feeling after this episode is that I’m both worried and excited for Kourtney! What’s going on? She seems like she’s had enough of the Kardashian franchise! She called the current state of affairs disgusting. She says she cares a lot more about being with her family than she does about money. Overall, I get the impression from her strident words and body language that she’s unhappy. Has she reached the end of her rope with the TV business?

I’m taking a wild guess that she’s feeling a huge shift in her life as the reality of Scott’s moving on to another relationship hits home. She’s in another relationship, too, at least at the time of filming. They both started dating much, much younger people! So everything has turned kind of upside-down for her. Some people are also saying they think she’s taking hormones so she can freeze her eggs, and that can wreak havoc with your moods. Who knows? I can’t speculate. That’s her business to divulge if and when she feels like it.

It’s also entirely possible that her therapy experience is simply making her more able to communicate with her family. She specifically mentions in her Tweets how she’s trying not to hide her emotions anymore. If this is the issue, I hope everyone holds her hand as she navigates this new honesty, which can be very scary to embrace, not only for her family but especially for Kourtney, if she’s used to living in denial.

At any rate, Kim said some pretty awful things to her this episode. I can’t say I blame Kim for losing her cool. Kourtney was being pretty stubborn and uncooperative about the family Christmas photo shoot. I’ve never seen them exchange such harsh words. I’ve heard that in the early seasons they did, and often. However, in the early seasons, they were a lot younger. Kim turned 37 in this episode. Kourtney is 39. I’m not saying that older sisters can’t fight. Some of my worst fights with my sisters have been when we were older. All I’m saying is that the fights carry more weight the older we get. It’s too easy to turn away and focus on your kids and your marriage or relationship and ignore the sister bond.

So Khloe, Kim, and Kourtney, good luck! I feel pretty reassured…I can see they’ve talked about this fight on Twitter, and they’re saying they’re “ride or die.�� Hurrah! Some cynics say these television and Twitter arguments are all for ratings. But the truth is, the Kardashians haven’t lasted fifteen seasons because they’re fake. There’s something that feels very authentic about them, which is why people tune in. I never thought I would, but my daughter convinced me to a couple seasons ago. I was very skeptical, yet I’ve been hooked ever since. Yes, I’m late to the Kardashian game, but I can still write a haiku from the heart about each episode, right? I hope you enjoy them.

Remember, haiku are five syllables in the first line, seven in the second line, and five in the third line. It’s a disciplined approach to writing poetry, and you have to distill your complex feelings down to only a few words. Spending time writing haiku is a small but memorable way for me to celebrate sisterhood, motherhood, and family–and the Kardashians, of course!!

Love,

Kieran XOXO

by Kieran Kramer (I’m a KK, too, haha!)

Episode 1, Season 15

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One day I woke up and said to my husband, “It’s time to move. But I don’t have time. Can you handle everything?�� [Warning: this moving story has nothing to do with the real point of this post, but it gets good, I promise!]

And my husband said, “Yes. I’ll handle everything.��

So he did, except for the choosing of the new house. I did that, but of course I made sure he liked it, too. It’s in a neighborhood filled with people From Off, as they say here in Charleston. That means they’re probably from New York or Ohio. They’re great people, but we really moved here to have access to the neighborhood’s community dock.

This dock is awesome! It’s right on the Stono River. You can catch blue crab from the dock. You can also see dolphins.

Recently, this is what we’ve seen! (By the way, all these photos are courtesy of my neighborhood Facebook page. We are so into sharing our wildlife pictures–and warnings about dog poop that didn’t get picked up properly).

Alligators don’t usually like saltwater. They live in fresh or brackish water, but sometimes they find their way into saltwater. This guy has been hanging around at least a week. So I’m thinking we might need DNR to put him back to a safer spot for him. DNR means for those of you who don’t know. You call them when you have a stray alligator on your porch or if you want to know what to do about an owl with a broken wing that is hanging around your door. Things like that. The DNR folks are awesome and care about every living thing.

We also had this toadfish. Isn’t he so ugly he’s beautiful?

Yes!

But he can also sting you with his little prongs!!

And then here’s a baby stingray. He’s very cute. Don’t say a word against him! It’s not his fault that a much larger version of himself killed the Crocodile Hunter. I honestly don’t say that lightly. I myself have hated stingrays ever since, and I’m trying to get over it. I still hate thinking of the day I found out the Crocodile Hunter was killed, and in such gruesome fashion. I’m so glad his family has gone on to find happiness again. And he himself would never want us to “hate�� nature in any form, especially an entire species just because one stingray was behaving the way stingrays are supposed to, and sadly, the Crocodile Hunter got in the way.

Dolphin fins abound, too. Honestly, THIS IS NOT A SHARK!!!

I love our dock. I love meeting new people on it, too–young and old, middle-aged, even furry people like all the neighborhood dogs. And I especially love encountering the underwater world! I haven’t even talked about shrimp, how to catch blue crabs, and how awesome it is to hear those tiny fiddler crabs scuttle around the mud flats of the marshes as you walk over them on the dock!

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Painting by Sally Rosenbaum

It’s early morning. A kitty next to me on the bed is kneading my bathrobe. Ouch. Ouch. Tap. Tap. I’m typing��ouch–while the feline massage continues.

I tend to avoid zen discussions about writing. There’s an awful lot of talk out there about the specialness of being a writer, of the care we must take to protect our Muses. We are storytellers. We can change the world. I do believe that.

But bus drivers, teachers, and doctors, too, can change the world. As can cooks, plumbers, editors, audio technicians, movie directors, grocery store managers, factory workers, and veterinarians.

I prefer to consider myself part of the community of People Who Do Their Best. I believe we’re all called to do something with our lives that brings grace, or a sort of ease, to the world. In my little corner, I tap away at my laptop with two rescued tabby cats and a black lab mix nearby in the hopes that my labor will alleviate some pain, somewhere, by lifting a veil and giving someone a peek at the rich complexity of life. Maybe it will make them feel less alone.

And that’s pretty much all I need or want to say about my being a writer. The rest of my posts on writing will be about the nuts and bolts of it. Or other things about writing…I think it would be fun to interview other writers. But I will most definitely keep my blogging at the level of my wanting to be a part of the community of People Who Do Their Best. It’s a much larger community than the world might have us believe, and I’m proud and grateful to be struggling along with everyone in it.

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