Nicole Prentice's Blog - Posts Tagged "stopdrinking"
How Stopping Drinking Helped Me Redefine Belonging and Connection
When I stopped drinking, I struggled with social situations. I was constantly battling the chatter in my mind, feeling like I didn’t belong. I often wondered, What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I drink like a “normal� person?
I feared being judged by others. On top of that, I didn’t know what I’d do for fun, as being a social drinker had become a big part of my identity.
Everything started to make more sense when I learned about the Paleolithic brain. During the hunter-gatherer era, being part of the tribe was crucial for survival. Social connections meant access to resources, safety, and reproductive opportunities. In the worst case, being cast out of the group could lead to death.
Although human evolution has progressed significantly since then, our brains are still wired to seek social approval. The fear of rejection remains deeply ingrained in us, which is why choosing to stop drinking can sometimes make you feel like you’re being excluded from the tribe.
But here’s the thing: you don’t need to drink to belong.
While people often use alcohol as a social tool to meet others and form communities, a fermented beverage has nothing to do with genuine connection. It’s surface-level belonging built on a numbed reality.
The invitation here is to redefine what belonging to a community or tribe means to you. It's about identifying your core values and connecting with people who share those same principles.
When you stop drinking, you start to like yourself more. That inner confidence ripples out into all your relationships.
The result? You experience a deeper, more meaningful connection in your relationships—something that was not accessible before. It’s an opportunity to uplevel not just your relationship with yourself, but with everyone around you.
It's time to take your relationships to the next level.Nicole Prentice
I feared being judged by others. On top of that, I didn’t know what I’d do for fun, as being a social drinker had become a big part of my identity.
Everything started to make more sense when I learned about the Paleolithic brain. During the hunter-gatherer era, being part of the tribe was crucial for survival. Social connections meant access to resources, safety, and reproductive opportunities. In the worst case, being cast out of the group could lead to death.
Although human evolution has progressed significantly since then, our brains are still wired to seek social approval. The fear of rejection remains deeply ingrained in us, which is why choosing to stop drinking can sometimes make you feel like you’re being excluded from the tribe.
But here’s the thing: you don’t need to drink to belong.
While people often use alcohol as a social tool to meet others and form communities, a fermented beverage has nothing to do with genuine connection. It’s surface-level belonging built on a numbed reality.
The invitation here is to redefine what belonging to a community or tribe means to you. It's about identifying your core values and connecting with people who share those same principles.
When you stop drinking, you start to like yourself more. That inner confidence ripples out into all your relationships.
The result? You experience a deeper, more meaningful connection in your relationships—something that was not accessible before. It’s an opportunity to uplevel not just your relationship with yourself, but with everyone around you.
It's time to take your relationships to the next level.Nicole Prentice
Why Men People-Please, And How It Keeps Them Stuck In Unhealthy Drinking Patterns
People-pleasing isn’t a weakness.
It’s a survival mechanism—a deeply ingrained pattern rooted in seeking external validation.
For many men, this behavior is tied to societal conditioning, where they are taught to be providers, protectors, and leaders.
While these roles can be fulfilling, they often come with immense pressure, leading to patterns that do more harm than good.
The Roots of People-Pleasing
Men are often raised with the belief that their worth is tied to their ability to serve others. They’re expected to:
Always say “yes� and be available for others.
Avoid conflict and maintain harmony at all costs.
Prove their value through constant action and support.
This pressure can turn into a need to be liked and accepted, making men overly focused on meeting others� expectations.
It’s not just about being helpful; it’s about avoiding rejection and seeking approval to feel worthy.
How People-Pleasing Leads to Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Constantly saying “yes� comes at a cost. Men who engage in people-pleasing behaviors often experience:
Burnout from overcommitting themselves.
Self-doubt as they struggle to maintain their own identity.
Emotional exhaustion from suppressing their own needs.
When the pressure of always being “on� becomes too much, some men turn to alcohol as a way to cope.
Alcohol provides temporary relief, offering an escape from the constant demand to perform and meet others� expectations.
In social situations, it can also serve as a tool to fit in or mask feelings of inadequacy.
But this quick fix can lead to a vicious cycle of reliance, further amplifying self-doubt and stress.
Breaking the Cycle of People-Pleasing
The first step to breaking free from this pattern is recognizing that your worth isn’t defined by how much you do for others.
True strength comes from prioritizing your emotional and mental well-being.
This isn’t selfish—it’s essential for leading a fulfilling life and being present for the people who matter most.
Here’s how to start:
Set Boundaries: Learn to say “no� when something doesn’t align with your values or capacity.
Seek Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Replace alcohol with tools that address the root causes of stress, such as journaling, breathwork, or exercise.
Reflect on Your Needs: Ask yourself, “What do I need?� Your answers might surprise you and offer insight into areas where you’ve been neglecting yourself.
A New Perspective
People-pleasing is not about being weak; it’s about unaddressed fears of rejection, failure, and not being enough.
Breaking free from this pattern allows you to show up authentically, without relying on alcohol or others� approval to feel whole.
By prioritizing your emotional well-being, you’ll discover that you’re already enough—just as you are.
If this resonates, consider how you can take one small step today to put yourself first.
It’s not selfish; it’s the foundation of a healthier, more fulfilling life.
What do you need to feel whole? Let’s start the conversation.
It’s a survival mechanism—a deeply ingrained pattern rooted in seeking external validation.
For many men, this behavior is tied to societal conditioning, where they are taught to be providers, protectors, and leaders.
While these roles can be fulfilling, they often come with immense pressure, leading to patterns that do more harm than good.
The Roots of People-Pleasing
Men are often raised with the belief that their worth is tied to their ability to serve others. They’re expected to:
Always say “yes� and be available for others.
Avoid conflict and maintain harmony at all costs.
Prove their value through constant action and support.
This pressure can turn into a need to be liked and accepted, making men overly focused on meeting others� expectations.
It’s not just about being helpful; it’s about avoiding rejection and seeking approval to feel worthy.
How People-Pleasing Leads to Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Constantly saying “yes� comes at a cost. Men who engage in people-pleasing behaviors often experience:
Burnout from overcommitting themselves.
Self-doubt as they struggle to maintain their own identity.
Emotional exhaustion from suppressing their own needs.
When the pressure of always being “on� becomes too much, some men turn to alcohol as a way to cope.
Alcohol provides temporary relief, offering an escape from the constant demand to perform and meet others� expectations.
In social situations, it can also serve as a tool to fit in or mask feelings of inadequacy.
But this quick fix can lead to a vicious cycle of reliance, further amplifying self-doubt and stress.
Breaking the Cycle of People-Pleasing
The first step to breaking free from this pattern is recognizing that your worth isn’t defined by how much you do for others.
True strength comes from prioritizing your emotional and mental well-being.
This isn’t selfish—it’s essential for leading a fulfilling life and being present for the people who matter most.
Here’s how to start:
Set Boundaries: Learn to say “no� when something doesn’t align with your values or capacity.
Seek Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Replace alcohol with tools that address the root causes of stress, such as journaling, breathwork, or exercise.
Reflect on Your Needs: Ask yourself, “What do I need?� Your answers might surprise you and offer insight into areas where you’ve been neglecting yourself.
A New Perspective
People-pleasing is not about being weak; it’s about unaddressed fears of rejection, failure, and not being enough.
Breaking free from this pattern allows you to show up authentically, without relying on alcohol or others� approval to feel whole.
By prioritizing your emotional well-being, you’ll discover that you’re already enough—just as you are.
If this resonates, consider how you can take one small step today to put yourself first.
It’s not selfish; it’s the foundation of a healthier, more fulfilling life.
What do you need to feel whole? Let’s start the conversation.
