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Happy Friday, all you glorious writers!!

It's time for Friday Feedback again, and we have the awesome returning with another stellar share on writing picture books and the "Dos and Don'ts of Rhyming." 

As if that's not enough, he has a bonus announcement, so I'll shut up and let him get going! 



Look for another giveaway of a
"lit circle set" coming soon on my
***Please remember before you participate to read , and if you're not working on a picture book, that's okay, you may still participate and we will give you feedback in the comments! And if you like what we do here, please buy our books (my newest is  (but you want all of them ;) ) and Josh's newest is  (but you want all of them!) ) and share our titles with your friends.Ěý

If you can't buy ALL the books, ask your local library to order them in. ***

And now, without further ado, here's Josh with his picture book magic and a special announcement saved for all of us here!!!

Hey, friends! I’m psyched that Gae invited me back to Teachers Write Friday Feedback for a second year!
Josh Funk writes silly stories and somehow tricks people into publishing them as books -
such as the Ěý˛ő±đ°ůľ±±đ˛ő,
 (and the upcoming sequel ),Ěýâ€�,Ěý,Ěý,Ěý and more!!!
You may remember that I also shared a portion of a manuscript called It’s Not Hansel and Gretel (a follow-up to my 2017 book .Ěý

More on that in a bit. *wink* 
This year, I’d like to discuss Rhyming Picture Books.
In the coming months, my 8th ( Lost in the Library on 8.28) and 9th ( Lady Pancake & Sir French Toast #3: Mission Defrostable on 9.25) picture books will be released (). Of those nine books, seven of them are written in rhyme.



You may have heard that rhyming picture books are frowned upon within the industry. However, as an educator, you’ve probably noticed that there are still lots of new picture books released every year that are written in rhyme. So what’s the deal?
The simple answer is that it’s hard to write in rhyme - or in other words, it’s easy to write bad rhyme. And agents and editors see lots and lots and LOTS of bad rhyme, which is what gives all rhyme the negative stigma.
But whyis it so hard to write good rhyming picture books? My theory is that there are a LOT of mistakes you can make along the way - very few DOs and a plethora of ¶Ů°ż±·â€™Ts: Here’s a short(ish) list of tips to get you thinking*:
DO remember that the most important aspect of a rhyming picture book is not the rhyme, or even the rhythm. The most important aspect of a rhyming picture book is that it has a good story.
DO know that rhythm is more difficult to master than rhyme. Any first grader can rhyme. But creating a rhythm that all readers will read correctly, regardless of accent, without having ever read or heard the words before - that is very difficult and can take years of practice.
¶Ů°ż±·â€™T expect your rhyming picture picture book to be translated into other languages. If it rhymes in English, it isn’t likely to rhyme in Spanish. Or Mandarin. Or Klingon.
¶Ů°ż±·â€™T say that your manuscript rhymes in your query letter to agents - it will only give them a reason to stop reading before they get to the actual story.
¶Ů°ż±·â€™T force yourself to study poetry. I love poetry, but the truth is, you don’t need to know anything about iambic septameter or how many metrical feet are in your manuscript. You just have to craft it so the reader can read (and perform) it well.
¶Ů°ż±·â€™T commit the following examples of Rhyme Crime:
Simple, Everyday, Cliche Rhyme: “My cat ate my hat, well look at that.�Near Rhyme: “I see a staple, it’s right on the table.”�Forced Rhyme: “I opened my giant umbrella. It’s raining, I said to that fella.�Regional Rhyme/Rhythm: “In England, you see lots of rain. But I’m in the U.S. again.�Seussian Rhyme: “Dr. Seuss was Dr. Seuss, and nobody else can do that shlamboose.�Yoda Rhyme: “It’s raining and wet. In the car, I must get.�
¶Ů°ż±·â€™T give up. I believe that anyone can write in rhyme if they’re willing to put in the time and get the proper feedback.
* Of course, these are only my opinions. You’re welcome to disagree. And you’re likely to find many examples of published books that go against these DOs and ¶Ů°ż±·â€™Ts, perhaps even examples from my own books.
And with that, this IS Friday Feedback, so for your feedback, I’d like to share a portion of an untitled future (hopefully) Lady Pancake & Sir French Toast rhyming picture book manuscript, in which, after several adventures and who knows how many days/weeks/years of sitting in a fridge, our main characters begin to start feeling their moldy old age... As Gae warned above, please READ THE RULES first if you've never participated before.

Also, since picture books have a minimum of words, sharing here for that format (vs a middle grade, YA or adult work in progress) means sharing a substantial part of your text which then puts it out in the world. . .Ěý As such, at the end of the weekend, Gae will be redacting the comments with substantial picture books excerpts (leaving my feedback up for you to return to whenever you need).

Okay, so here we go!

[Page 8-9]
Baron Von Waffle said, “Yup. You look gruesome.I’ve never seen such a hideous twosome.�Inspector Croissant said, “But wait! There’s a cure!Check out Professor Garbanzo’s brochure!�
[brochure] Starting to mildew or curdle or crumble? Don’t sit around and complain, pout, and grumble! Try out my patented DE-spoiling ray! Feel fresh again. Come and visit today!
[Page 10-11]
Off to Professor Garbanzo’s they strode.Down to her lab on Falafel Ball Road.“Greetings!� she said as she tightened a gear.“Here for despoiling? Terrific! Sit here!�Nervously, Pancake and Toast buckled in.Garbanzo gave one tiny knob a quick spin.
[Page 12-13]
With whooshes and whistles, a spark and a blastThe despoiling ray shot a laser at last!“Where did they go?� Waffle asked through the smoke.“Right over here!� a falsetto voice spoke.Inspector Croissant asked, “Who said that? A ghost?�
[Page 14-15]
“I’m Mini Miss Pancake.� “I’m Squire French Toast!�
I appreciate any and all feedback you’ve got.
(Regarding the pagination, I’d plan for this book to be the same length (40 pages) as the previous books in the Lady Pancake & Sir French Toast series with 16 full spreads. For more information on lengths of picture books, see )
Oh, and now for that *BONUS* Announcement:

In part due to all of the wonderful feedback you gave me last year (thank you very much, FF-ers!), It’s Not Hansel and Gretel is becoming a book. And here today, as part of Friday Feedback and #TeachersWrite, I’m pleased to reveal the cover:




Illustrated brilliantly once again by Edwardian Taylor, It’s Not Hansel and Gretel will be released on March 1st, 2019 -
Thanks again for having me and for reading! I look forward to reading yourmanuscript excerpts.

xox Josh -- and gae!


�**For more information about Josh Funk, visit him at and on Twitter at .