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I graduated high school last week. For over a month beforehand, my life was a flurry of party planning, traveling, test-taking, and organizing so that I could end my high school education with a bang. And celebrate we did–I threw a huge for one hundred of my closest friends and danced the night away while eating pie and trying on silly hats.

But once the venue was cleaned, the food was gone, and the thank-you notes were all mailed, I had a freak-out moment. So this is it.

My life will never be the same from here on out.

It’s crazy when you start kindergarten and you’re five years old with half a dozen missing teeth and a slightly crooked haircut. And you’re just excited because you already know your colors and half your numbers and you can’t wait to learn how to read American Girl books for yourself. And then flash forward five years and you’re on the cusp of middle school, trying to convince your mom to let you go to the movie theater by yourself and waiting all day to do your schoolwork because Saxon 7/6 is just SO HARD. Before you know it, middle school is over and  you’re a HIGH SCHOOLER with the whole world at your feet�. And no free time because you have to memorize thirty vocabulary words for every dang science test. And then it’s a flurry of graduation parties, final tests, and setting up plans for the fall.

And then it’s over. And all your friends are packing up and moving away to college and you find yourself standing in an awkward valley of in-between-ness. Are you an adult now? Or just a child who memorized enough facts to graduate high school?

For me, the high school years were probably some of the craziest, adventurous, and tumultuous years of my life. To think that when I started on this journey four years ago I was just a bright-eyed fourteen-year-old girl with the makings of a story on her computer and a bunch of ideas stored up in her head. Now, by the grace of God, I have managed not only to survive ninth through twelfth grade, but I have been blessed with opportunities to travel, speak, write, and meet so many people.

And yet, sometimes it’s easy for me to look at all the wonderful things God has placed before me and wonder, “What if this is the best my life is going to get?� If I peak when I’m young, will it all go downhill from here? Will I be that thirty-year-old woman who shakes her head and says despairingly, “If only I was sixteen again. Back when my life was actually interesting and full of promise.�

It’s a scary thought–wondering what the future holds. Because if there’s one thing the past four years has taught me, it’s that God always seems to have some trick up His sleeve. Just when I feel like I know where my life is going, something happens to completely turn it all around! But what if those plans aren’t want I want for myself? What if I end up going on some big adventure that I can’t handle, or, even worse, don’t get to embark on any kind of journey at all?

I guess one thing I can’t help but pray is that God will do something big in my life in these in-between years. I’m not a child anymore, but I’m still growing into the woman He wants me to be. I just want to be able to say that these years were not a waste. I’m constantly growing, changing, developing relationships, and figuring out what I want to do with my life.

I’m not sure how long this next phase of life will last. I’ll probably either end up getting married at eighteen and completely shocking EVERYONE, or waiting a long time and writing lots of books and traveling to all kinds of places. (Although, the first one seems a bit unlikely, I’m sad to say. I think I’d need a boyfriend for that one to actually come true. Sorry, all you romantics�)

One thing’s for sure: I want all of you along for the ride with me! I can’t wait for all the blog entries, photos, and videos that I’ll get to share over the next few years highlighting everything that’s going on in my life. Because even though I think I’m pretty boring ninety percent of the time (let’s not lie–the other ten percent of me is pretty darn amazing ), God does seem to be at work making exciting things happen! So let’s see what’s in store!

-Rachel

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