Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ

“In situations of captivity the perpetrator becomes the most powerful person in the life of the victim, and the psychology of the victim is shaped by the actions and beliefs of the perpetrator.”
― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

“All people cross the line from childhood to adulthood with a secondhand opinion of who they are. Without any questioning, we take as truth whatever our parents and other influentials have said about us during our childhood, whether these messages are communicated verbally, physically, or silently.”
― Heyward Ewart, AM I BAD? Recovering From Abuse

“We Are Lovable
Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay. —Codependent No More

Do you ever find yourself thinking: How could anyone possibly love me? For many of us, this is a deeply ingrained belief that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Thinking we are unlovable can sabotage our relationships with co-workers, friends, family members, and other loved ones. This belief can cause us to choose, or stay in, relationships that are less than we deserve because we don’t believe we deserve better. We may become desperate and cling as if a particular person was our last chance at love. We may become defensive and push people away. We may withdraw or constantly overreact. While growing up, many of us did not receive the unconditional love we deserved. Many of us were abandoned or neglected by important people in our life. We may have concluded that the reason we weren’t loved was because we were unlovable. Blaming ourselves is an understandable reaction, but an inappropriate one. If others couldn’t love us, or love us in ways that worked, that’s not our fault. In recovery, we’re learning to separate ourselves from the behavior of others. And we’re learning to take responsibility for our healing, regardless of the people around us. Just as we may have believed that we’re unlovable, we can become skilled at practicing the belief that we are lovable. This new belief will improve the quality of our relationships. It will improve our most important relationship: our relationship with our self. We will be able to let others love us and become open to the love and friendship we deserve. Today, help me be aware of and release any self-defeating beliefs I have about being unlovable. Help me begin, today, to tell myself that I am lovable. Help me practice this belief until it gets into my core and manifests itself in my relationships.”
― Melody Beattie

“Before you embark upon this journey of your businessâ€� vision and mission discovery, there are a few questions that you need to answer:
Why are you in this business?
How big do you want your business to be one day?
Who is going to benefit from your product or service?
What is the core purpose of the existence of your business?”
― Pooja Agnihotri, 17 Reasons Why Businesses Fail :Unscrew Yourself From Business Failure

“For example, in order to identify these schemas or clarify faulty relational expectations, therapists working from an object relations, attachment, or cognitive behavioral framework often ask themselves (and their clients) questions like these: 1. What does the client tend to want from me or others? (For example, clients who repeatedly were ignored, dismissed, or even rejected might wish to be responded to emotionally, reached out to when they have a problem, or to be taken seriously when they express a concern.) 2. What does the client usually expect from others? (Different clients might expect others to diminish or compete with them, to take advantage and try to exploit them, or to admire and idealize them as special.) 3. What is the client’s experience of self in relationship to others? (For example, they might think of themselves as being unimportant or unwanted, burdensome to others, or responsible for handling everything.) 4. What are the emotional reactions that keep recurring? (In relationships, the client may repeatedly find himself feeling insecure or worried, self-conscious or ashamed, or—for those who have enjoyed better developmental experiences—perhaps confident and appreciated.) 5. As a result of these core beliefs, what are the client’s interpersonal strategies for coping with his relational problems? (Common strategies include seeking approval or trying to please others, complying and going along with what others want them to do, emotionally disengaging or physically withdrawing from others, or trying to dominate others through intimidation or control others via criticism and disapproval.) 6. Finally, what kind of reactions do these interpersonal styles tend to elicit from the therapist and others? (For example, when interacting together, others often may feel boredom, disinterest, or irritation; a press to rescue or take care of them in some way; or a helpless feeling that no matter how hard we try, whatever we do to help disappoints them and fails to meet their need.)”
― Edward Teyber, Interpersonal Process in Therapy: An Integrative Model

“As you recover, you will find yourself letting go of many of your negative beliefs. You will discover that many of the so-called truths you were raised with and forced to believe are not truths at all. With this perspective, you will come to see, for example, that the names you were called as a child are simply not true. You are not ‘stupid,â€� ‘lazy,â€� ‘ugly,â€� or a ‘liarâ€�. You can discover just who you really are. You can let go of your pretenses and masks and discover who the real person is underneath.”
― Beverly Engel, The Right to Innocence: Healing the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Therapeutic 7-Step Self-Help Program for Men and Women, Including How to Choose a Therapist and Find a Support Group

“Our enemy within are our Core Negative Beliefs. Negative beliefs hide from the Consciousness and they get exposed by the Magic of Mindfulness and Awareness. Explore Your Core Beliefs, Challenge Existing, Train Mindfulness, Understand Beauty, Work with Emptiness, Meditate”
― Natasa Pantovic Nuit, Conscious Parenting: Mindful Living Course

“Of all the horrid ramifications of child abuse, the self-beliefs formed by the child reap the greatest destruction. Abuse is the most penetrating and permanent communication possible, and it always conveys to the child one or more of several messages: ‘I caused it to happen. It’s my fault because I am bad. I don’t deserve any better.”
― Heyward Bruce Ewart III, Am I Bad? Recovering from Abuse

“Years ago I had realized I was blaming myself for it. People and doctors would tell me it wasn't my fault, but I couldn't “BELIEVEâ€� it! Then I was talking to my friend Kieran and he explained to me in a way that I could PERCEIVE that I was not at fault. No one else could ever do that before, though many tried. Many, many people had tried to tell me it wasn't my fault, but I was convinced it was my fault because I was trying to cheer up my dad.”
― Robert Anthony

“Censorship and the suppression of reading materials are rarely about family values and almost always about control--about who is
snapping the whip, who is saying no, and who is saying go. Censorship's bottom line is this: if the novel Christine offends me, I don't want just to make sure it's kept from my kid; I want to make sure it's kept from your kid, as well, and all the kids. This bit of intellectual arrogance, undemocratic and as old as time, is best expressed this way: "If it's bad for me and my family, it's bad for everyone's family.”
― Stephen King

“Of Post-Traumatic Growth:

Rich Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun coined the term in 1995, when they noticed that some people did not recover from their traumatic experiences in a typically resilient fashion. Rather than return to their set point, everything about them radically changed: their worldviews, their goals in life, their friendships.

"It's not just bouncing back," Tedeschi explains. "Most people talk about that as resilience. We distinguish from resilience because this is transformative. "

"The one thing that overwhelmingly predicts it is the extent to which you say, "My core beliefs were shaken,'" Calhoun adds.

What kind of core beliefs? "The degree to which the world is just," Tedeschi says, "or that people are benevolent or that the future is something that you can control. Beliefs about, basically, how life works.”
― Barbara Bradley Hagerty, Life Reimagined: The Science, Art, and Opportunity of Midlife

“In my mind, beliefs bind tight.
Distorting truth, day and night.”
― Amogh Swamy, On My Way To Infinity: A Seeker's Poetic Pilgrimage

“More often than not, only denying and ignoring the new facts is all that is left to ensure your beliefs stay (subjectively) irrefutable. For most people, it is very hard to change their world view and core beliefs, which is why new ideas and even new fields of science are often ridiculed by them at first.”
― Konstantin Kaiser, Supreme Legacy: A Complete Health Guide

“Core beliefs (kepercayaan inti) adalah bagaimana kita meyakini sesuatu pada diri kita, yang sering kali salah. Misalkan kita yakin bahwa diri kita "tidak layak mendapatkan cinta" kita yakin bahwa diri kita "layak direndahkan".”
― Pijar Psikologi, Yang Belum Usai: Kenapa Manusia Punya Luka Batin?

“Sesuai dengan prinsip belajar, semakin sering kata-kata dan kalimat diulang maka akan semakin kuat dan efektif dampaknya terhadap hidup kita.”
― Pijar Psikologi, Yang Belum Usai: Kenapa Manusia Punya Luka Batin?

“The closer you come to your core,
the greater is your joy.”
― Torkom Saraydarian