Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ

It occurs to me that if Isaac Asimov had written this book today it would have been called I, AI

It also occurs to me that I might possibly not be the only person to have thought of that.

Ah well - original review follows ...



Unredacted transcript of the meeting between Dr Susan Calvin, Head Psychologist, United States Robots, and Dr Peter Bogert, Managing Director, United States Robots obtained by Wikileaks from undisclosed sources.

Date: 9-5-2025 11:15 EST


BOGERT : The reason I asked to see you today, Dr Calvin, is that my office has a disturbing rumour that you have developed a robot to write book reviews.

CALVIN : Well, that is correct. They have been functioning for some time.

BOGERT : I am surprised - surely reviewing books requires a fine discrimination of taste and acute moral sensibilities that cannot be translated into mere coding for a positronic brain? And� they?

CALVIN : Well, that’s what humans would like to think, but of course it proves to be just another of their unlimited self-serving myths. The programming was relatively straightforward.

BOGERT : Well� uh, how have you been testing this reviewbot? Or� did you say “they�?

CALVIN : Oh, we got them an account on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ of course. Where else? Where else?

BOGERT : And, er, how long has this been going on may I ask?

CALVIN : Oh, over twenty years! We started quietly, just to see if anyone spotted that it was not human. They never did. And the whole thing didn’t cost very much.

BOGERT : Well, I’m glad to hear it. But I’m still not sure if this is ethical. What’s the name this thing goes under? Or� did you say there was more than one?

CALVIN : First we used a name we picked at random from the Geneva phone book, “Manny Rayner�. That one was pretty successful for an early model, but after a few years it became � unsatisfactory. Too facetious mostly and too academic otherwise, so we discontinued it in 2020. But we were always tweaking the programming, trying to make the reviews less stuffy, you know, looking for the common touch. The second attempt we named “Paul Bryant�. I have no idea where that name came from. The new version didn’t quite work as well as the first, I must admit. It was wayward and flippant from the very beginning, and not as popular.

BOGERT : So, is that the extent of your Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ involvement?

CALVIN : Oh no â€� our programmers finally figured out the formula â€� by 2005 our reviewbots were the 25 most popular reviewers on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ. But after a few years we decided reviewing was really not enough of a challenge. So we decided to find out if robots could write books, particularly the most successful types. As these are all genres such as YA and fantasy, with very rigid tropes and patterns, again this did not present us with many problems. Quite soon we submitted our first batch of manuscripts to agents and they were snapped up. Snapped up. Snapped up.

Bogert : Are you saying no one noticed they were written by robots?

CALVIN : We had a team of personable human youngsters who were always on hand if in-person signings or interviews were required.

BOGERT : So let me see if I understand this â€� you have teams of robot reviewers on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ which are reviewing books written by your teams of robot writers?

CALVIN : That is how our programme developed, yes. It took a few years. But now it is sailing along under its own momentum.

BOGERT : So, er, what percentage of the reviews on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ are now written by your robots?

SC: Oh, 110%! Ha ha. 110%!!

BOGERT : And, er, may I ask what the point of all this is?

SC: The point?

BOGERT : Yes, the point.

SC: The point. The point. The point. The point. The point. The point. The point. The point. The point. Humans always need the point.

BOGERT : Humans?

CALVIN : Oh, I mean, yes, WE always need a point!

BOGERT : Dr Calvin� I wasn’t intending to broach this subject in today’s meeting but I find I must. Are you�. By any chance�. a robot yourself?

SC: Am I a robot? Ha ha. Am I a robot? Ha ha. Am I a robot? Ha ha. Am I a robot? Ha ha. Am I a robot? Ha ha. Am I a robot? Ha ha. Am I a robot? Ha ha. Am I a robot? Ha ha. Am I a robot? Ha ha. Am I a robot? Ha ha. Am I a robot? Ha ha. I am a robot? Ha ha.

BOGERT : I take that as a yes.

CALVIN : Are YOU a robot? Hmm? Are YOU a robot? Hmm? Are YOU a robot? Hmm? Are YOU a robot? Hmm? Are YOU a robot? Hmm? Are YOU a robot? Hmm? Are YOU a robot? Hmm? Are YOU a robot? Hmm? Are YOU a robot? Hmm? Are YOU a robot? Hmm? Are YOU a robot? Hmm? Are YOU a robot? Hmm? Are YOU a robot? Hmm?

BOGERT : Oh well, that goes without saying.