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First read and reviewed in 2020, this review can be found below

Second read 31st October 2023

I have nothing to add to the initial review. This is just as amusing and clever the second time. Poor Claudius.


Apocolocyntosis (The Pumpkinification of Claudius) by Seneca is a short satirical farce, written after the death of Emperor Claudius.




Seneca the Stoic Philosopher


But firstly, a little of the man himself. Seneca was born in Spain in 4 BCE and died by his own hand under the direction of Emperor Nero in 65 CE. Little is known of his childhood, but he did eventually end up in Rome and was a very capable Senator with outstanding oratory skills. He was also a prolific writer of letters, plays (Tragedies mainly) and his stoic philosophical works �� one of which sits comfortably in my Man Bag for quick reference On the Shortness of Life, it’s quite short and I highly recommend it for those looking for some words of inspiration from time to time. Many believed he was a hypocrite though, as he espoused stoicism, whilst being one of the wealthiest men in the Empire.

It’s reported Caligula wasn’t a real fan of Seneca. But it was the “Mad Emperor’s�� successor, Claudius, who ended up exiling Seneca to Corsica due to accusations he was with Caligula’s and Agrippina’s (the younger) sister Julia Livilla. Agrippina the Younger eventually recalled Seneca from Corsica �� which apparently wasn’t such a bad place to be exiled, but Seneca thought it was hell on earth �� to mentor and educate Agrippina’s young son, the monster in waiting Nero. You could argue he didn’t do a particularly good job there.

Anyway, onto this piece. It’s a satire about Claudius�� entry into heaven. Seneca not only writes a piece which clearly denigrates the stuttering, bumbling, club-footed Claudius, he also falls over himself to flatter Nero, yes Nero. He refers to Nero as ”Bright and shining, with a face that lights up the atmosphere, whilst his hair ripples in waves down his lovely neck��. If anyone has seen busts of Nero and his neckbeard, you’ll probably arrive at a different conclusion.



Nero and ‘that�� Neck Beard


Seneca even refers to Claudius�� life as “worthless�� and quotes the Emperor’s last words as ”Oh dear, oh dear, I think I’ve soiled myself�� because he believed Claudius made a mess of everything. (NB: He didn’t by the way �� he was considered quite a good Emperor by many sources).

Claudius is greeted in heaven by numerous Gods. For example, Hercules �� who was frightened by the creature Claudius, who according to him had ”a voice like no creature on earth��. Other deeds Claudius is accused of by Seneca, is turning Rome into a ‘rotten place�� and he pokes fun of the fact the ‘savages�� on Britain worship him. For they know no better. He’s accused of being a murderer �� make no mistake, Claudius was responsible for many deaths, including amongst his own family and friends.



Claudius


The list of Gods who make an appearance is endless, even the deified Augustus chips in �� his summation of Claudius is scathing. Mercury is tasked with dragging Claudius down to Hell, Claudius�� gout does cause him some discomfort as he’s rushed down Mount Olympus. In Hell, he meets up with those who were condemned by him, nice types like Messalina and other family members and friends. He was even greeted at the gates by Cerberus. This little piece really is a ‘who’s who�� of mythology and ancient history.



Cerberus, the three-headed dog, guarding the gates of hell with Hades - nasty stuff


This Kangaroo Court charged Claudius of murdering 35 Senators, 221 Roman Knights and ‘as many others as there are grains of sand on the seashore��. In the end, they invented an enduring punishment for the hapless Claudius. Aeacus eventually ruled that Claudius was to rattle dice in a shaker with no bottom, so the poor wretch would spend eternity fruitlessly searching for the dice, which always slipped through his fingers. Poor bastard!



Gambling Dice from Ancient Rome �� no doubt Claudius is still frantically searching for these


This is an amusing piece, and Seneca makes no bones of the fact that he couldn’t stand the man. He is particularly vicious about his physical deformities and speech impediment �� using what appears to be contemporary humour, I did find this a little bit uncomfortable. But there is so much about this period, many of us would find uncomfortable.

For anyone interested in a short, punchy farce from antiquity riddled with history and humour, I highly recommend this.

4 Stars