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Comedic/noir-crime fiction crossover, in which hapless, legal assistant Gary Thorn becomes involved with the girlfriend of a PI involved with corrupt Met police officers. First book in a series.


Corruption, violence, and betrayal on the mean streets of Peckham.

My dead pixels version was 301 pages long. It had a UK 2022 copyright.

is a British: comedian, author, television presenter and actor. He has written four novels of fiction. This is the first novel in his Gary Thorn series. This is the first book I’ve read by the author.

I was lamenting to a mate about the lack of Humorous Brit Fiction in my life. Back in the day, it was a reading staple. I used to read stacks of: James Hawes, Nick Hornby, and Jonathan Coe. She told me, she’d been reading The Hotel Avocado , the latest by Bob Mortimer. Its the second comic novel in his Gary Thorn series. She also suggested that I dress like the protagonist—which I don’t.

Writing was good. It was likewise well-groomed. The Gallery UK publisher provided a good editor. I did not find any errors. Dialog was better than descriptive prose. Much of the dialog involved working-class, slang, in witty badinage. I had not heard “Fill your boots� in a long time. In two places, I laughed-out-loud. This is something I rarely do whilst reading. The descriptive prose was a bit vague, particularly around key plot elements. Moritmer lavished more and better words on making toast than being held at gunpoint.

There were two POVs, Gary and Emily. Gary was the protagonist. He’s a rather woeful, legal assistant going through the motions of life. He’s got a decent job, which requires little effort. He has a few mates that likewise require little effort. He hasn’t had a serious relationship in years. Gary's whole life was about minimal effort. Emily was a "mysterious woman", at least to Gary, for a large part of the story. She’s the live-in girlfriend of a controlling, man prone to violence. She’s unhappy with having to walk on eggshells for years, but too dependent on a very flawed man for her livelihood.

Gary and Emily have all been seen before in books and media. I'd be hesitant to call their relationship a "love story". It felt too one-sided for that.

One of the more amusing character in the story were the squirrels. Squirrels were Gary’s Alter Ego. At crucial points in the story, he communes with them. They gave him sagely advice, on what he ought to do. This was in counterpoint to what he does.

There were numerous other supporting characters, identifiable to crime fiction readers. There were: good coppers, bad coppers, gangsters, observant baristas, bad lawyers, peculiar elderly Englishmen, elderly hack0r confidents, etc.. There is a remarkably small cast of characters in the story.

Plotting was problematic. Gary eventually goes for a pint with a work acquaintance, who is a PI. His mate has to leave quickly. However, not before he plants The McGuffin, after which he’s promptly murdered, or not? Whilst finishing his paid-for pint, Gary meets The One. Is she a Femme Fatale, the woman of his dreams. or not? Coincidentally, shortly afterward, Gary becomes professionally involved in a different mate’s abuse by corrupt coppers. Could they all be related in this short novel? Finally, the author leaves the reader with a definite HFN ending. (Hence the “first book in a series� description.)

This story contained: sex, drugs, rock'n roll music and violence. Note my criteria for most noir-ish or hardboiled mystery success requires at least a trifecta from that list, along with pop culture references. In this case the pop culture references were British.

Consensual sex happened. However, it was only alluded to. Drugs used consisted of a few pints, and wine spritzers, but not consumed to intoxication. Rock ‘n roll references were a very banal mixture of old skool notables (Kings of the Leon, Steely Dan, Eminem, and Hot Chip) and the massively commercial (Drake, Kendrick Lamar, Taylor Swift etc.). They were there to elaborate the differences between Gary and Emily.

Violence was sporadic. It was: physical, and firearms. It should be noted that criminal firearm usage in metro-London is not as common as in The States' New York, Chicago or Los Angles. Violence was moderately graphic. Gary was very robust in his response to a serious pummeling. He was almost superhero-like?

The venues for the story were the , mostly in , and in . The author was charitable about Brighton. A mate of mine recently described it as “bare antique shops by the sea�.

A problem I had was that Moriter’s story had no characters of colour. All of his British characters were very English. He was also weak on his use of handguns. He had no familiarity with them. Morimer’s description of a loaf of bread was better than the three appearances of handguns in the story.

So, this was a novel of corruption, violence, and betrayal with a comedic spin. It was also a popcorn read.

In places, it was very funny. Moritmer is a good “story teller�.

A problem I had was, that telling a story is not the same as writing a novel. Mortimer’s whole novel was about putting his protagonist in cascading difficult, positions, each with a comedic spin. (That was the work of the squirrels.) Along the way, he’s always poking fun at the reader, and the English. And, that’s his shtick. However, his characters suffer for that. They’re very ³¦±ô¾±³¦³óé»å, only filled-in enough, to make them recognizable to get to the next punch line. In addition, his ending was very much a wanton act of serial fiction.

I have not decided about reading his The Hotel Avocado.

ADDENDUM: My mate gifted me her copy of The Hotel Avocado. Its on my TBR.