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“I have a penis," Josh announced out of the blue, pointing down into the water.

"That's because you're a boy," I explained sagely.

"Does Uncle Adam have a penis?"

"Oh yeah," I said with a smile. Adam looked up at me and tried not to laugh.

"Does Elmo have a penis?"

"Uh, well..." He had stumped me.”
― N.M. Silber, Legally Wed

“I would rather be a real Timex than a fake Rolex.”
― N.M. Silber

“If I say it, will you say it too?" I asked, swallowing hard, even though my mouth was dry. I willed him silently not to joke around or say anything that could hurt me.

"Yes, but I need to hear you say it first," he answered with a voice filled with tension.

"What are you, four? Why can't we just say it at the same time?" I asked, panicking.

"Because that's stupid. And when I was four, I said it by licking your Fruit Roll-Up. Why can't you just say it? Don't you trust me?"

"Why do you always get to decide who does what? I let you lift, and I wiped!"

"You're comparing us declaring our love for each other to wiping a baby's ass?!"

"Ah Ha! You said it!" I announced victoriously.

"I did not! I was saying it generally! That's different than saying it!"

"You said 'declaring our love'!"

"That's different than saying 'I love you'!"

"Ah ha!" I cried again.

"Oh Jesus H. Christ! Who's the one who's four?! Will you just say it, woman?!"

"Fine! I love you, you asshole!"

"I love you too, you nutty broad!”
― N.M. Silber, Legal Briefs

“You've slept with Gabrielle?" Adam asked. "You haven't slept with her too, have you, Mark?"

"No!" Mark answered.

"Good, or I would have felt really left out.”
― N.M. Silber, The Home Court Advantage