Stacy R.

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Stacy R.

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Stacy R. is currently reading

Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children

by Daniel A. Hughes

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Mar 18, 2025 07:39AM

“our brain uses a couple of key strategies to help us make sense of the world. First, it makes associations between patterns of sensory input that co-occur, creating 鈥渕emories鈥� from our experiences. Second, it uses these stored memories to categorize and interpret new experience. And if new input is similar enough to previous experience, it will categorize the new experience as similar or equal to the past experience.”
― Bruce D. Perry, What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing

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“Start small by simply staying in touch with healthy people, then slowly start prioritizing these relationships and intentionally put time with these folks ahead of the rescuing, fixing, and forgiving you are often doing for the narcissistic people in your life. You can just phone it in to your toxic relationship and bring your A game to your safe spaces.”
― Ramani Durvasula, It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People

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“The concept of resilience is used in our field. But if you look carefully at the biology after a traumatic experience-all the way down to the way genes are expressed-trauma will change everyone in some way.

And those changes will be there even if they don鈥檛 result in any apparent 鈥榬eal life鈥� problems for the person, even if the person demonstrates resilience. A child may continue to do just as well in school, for example, but it takes much more energy and effort. Or we may find that a child is able to return to his previous level of emotional functioning, but changes in his neuroendocrine system may make him more likely to develop diabetes. This is, in essence, what the ACE studies have demonstrated. Adversity impacts the developing child. Period. What that impact will be, when it may manifest, how it maybe 鈥榖uffered鈥�-we can鈥檛 always say. But developmental trauma will always influence our body and brain.”
― Bruce D. Perry, What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing

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“Sometimes it's hard for the human body to understand the difference between mental and physical exertion, between being out of breath because you've been running, and because you're having a panic attack.”
― Fredrik Backman, The Winners

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“To the newborn, love is action; it is the attentive, responsive, nurturing care that adults provide. A parent may truly love his child, but if he is sitting at a computer posting on social media about how much he loves his child while the infant is in another room, awake, hungry, and crying, the infant experiences no love. To the infant, skin-to-skin warmth, the smell of the parent, the sights and sounds of her caregivers, the attentive and responsive caregiver鈥檚 actions-that becomes love. The thousands of these loving, responsive interactions shape the developing brain of the infant. These loving moments literally build the foundation of the organizing brain鈥�.the infant begins to associate these responsive people with pleasure, sustenance, warmth; her view of the world is being shaped鈥t is through these interactions that the child鈥檚 worldview is built, and depending upon the quality and pattern of the caregiver鈥檚 responses, will build resilience or contribute to a sensitized, vulnerable child.”
― Bruce D. Perry, What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing

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