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“If someone had asked him ‘are you lonely?� He would’ve looked at that someone with real surprise. The question had never even occurred to him. He had no friends but he had his books, and his dreams.� Thanks Stephen I feel personally called out

When Ben started pouring alcohol in his eyes and was like “haha chill out it’s fine� >>>>

Someone save my boy Ben he needs a hug

Susan you ignorant slut

Oh did we have to use the word intercourse like that?

I badly need to know what old biddy hurt Stephen King so horribly that he’s so good at writing them

The rocking chair kiss is in my head forever now. Damn.

“J²¹³ó´Ç´Ç²ú¾±±ð²õâ€�

I find the fact that Stephen King casually makes all his characters read paperback westerns charming as hell

IM SORRY WHAT IS HAPPENING AT THE VERY END NOW?!?!?

I am WHEEZING
“Well, it’s all over. What did you learn?�
“Uhhhh I forgot everything I learned.�
“That cannot be true.�
“Nah it is. It’s all gone�
*starts karaoke*

I’m 17 hours in I should not still be getting exposition

Somebody save me from this stupid book

Shadow and Wednesday are such idiots they’re just running around creating their own drama and yelling at one another and the rest of the world is largely unaffected.

Look how they massacred my boy

If Ali makes the whole book have the vibe “I like BDSM I’m so quirky� so help me

Bring back drive-in movies we need better sex in America!!!

American Gods: Wednesday makes multiple waitresses uncomfortable and then yells at Shadow and that’s like the whole book

I’m wheezing, if you give a cat KFC is the new if you give a mouse a cookie

WE MADE THE FEATHER REAL HEAVY HAHA

Help my sexy dead cheating bitch of a wife is killing my enemies for me

Reverse birth�.

Oh we are getting right into it

Noooooo the octopus have discovered interior decorating!!!!

I am terrified to turn every page I swear this is gonna break me

AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH